#longknj

“Jagi, I am really sorry,” Hoseok said into the phone.

 “It’s fine.” Her voice was soft and calm.

 That should have comforted him, but instead it made him panic.

 “I honestly had no idea they’d do this,” he said in a rush. “They just told us all today!”

 “You don’t have to shout, Hobi,” she said softly.

 He sighed heavily, his shoulders slumped forward as he sat in the chair. He was alone in the living room; the rest of the members had left to give him some time alone for this call. Tears filled his eyes as he heard her say she understood.

 How could she? He’d broken the first promise he’d ever given to her! This wasn’t right, he was horrible at these things called relationships. He should just accept the fact she’d never want to see him again and be done with it. He’d grow old with Yoongi and that’d be that. Well, he’d probably have to deal with Jin at some point, but at least he’d always eat well.

 “Hobi? Are you still there?”

 “Yes, yes I’m sorry. I know I messed up, but I will make it up to you.” He said. “Please give me a second chance at least.”

 “There is no need, this wasn’t your fault,” she said in an attempt to placate him. “This was out of your control. I know that. We can plan something together next week.”

 “Really?” he said, his emotions shot right up with happiness. “That would be amazing. I do want to see you as soon as possible. Maybe we can take a day trip somewhere.”

 Her soft chuckle made him feel calmer then he’d felt all afternoon. “Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

 Hoseok grinned as he pulled his cell from his hear, hitting the speaker button as he did. “Y/n, I have you on speaker. I'm going to put your name on in my calendar. That way if anyone asks, I know it is a no.”

 “You are so silly sometimes, Hobi,” she said with a chuckle again.

 He smiled again, even though she couldn’t see it. She had this way to make him feel so calm, nervous and happy all at once. This was all new for him, so naturally, he was terrified of screwing something up. With his career, relationships in general were tough. Even more so when they have to remain secret. Yet she had been a trooper through all this. She didn’t complain when he couldn’t come see her or when he was out of the country on tour had limited time to talk.

 He didn’t want to lose this one. He had a feel she was the one!

 As he thought all this, he looked through his calendar. His heart sank as he saw that once again, he was booked solid. The end of the year, why did he think he could have some time alone with her when it was the end of the year?

 ‘Jagi?”

 “Yes?”

 A heavy sigh slipped out. “Maybe we can see each other the weekend after next?” he whispered, his tone a mixture of sadness and hopefulness.

 “Oh…” she said softly, the first sign of sadness she’d expressed during the conversation. “Yeah, sure. Just let me know. Um… I have to go now; my lunch time is almost over.”

 “I understand,” he replied. Boy did he ever.

 As they said their goodbyes and hung up, he leaned his head back against the wall. Why did things have to be so tough sometimes, he wondered. He was a young man; did he really have to choose between his career and his happiness? Was that how life was going to be? Couldn’t he have both? He’d worked so hard for this, but did that mean this would be his only love in life?

 Christmas Eve

 Hoseok was sitting on stage, his bright smile slapped onto his face. Here he was JHope and he represented BTS with the other guys to perfection. No one saw the war going on inside. No one caught the fleeting sadness that passed through his eyes. No one could tell he felt a horrible, gut wrenching sadness as he spoke about the amazing year the group had or what hopes they had for the new year.

 Well, no one expect his brothers in the group. Suga had been passing him things all morning; a bottle of water, a cookie, a piece of candy that he had no idea what kind it was. Jin had almost tried to force feed him breakfast this morning when he’d only picked at it. Jimin, the worrier he was, had teamed up with Taehyung and both were constantly giving him hugs or pats of affections. Around the time they were getting their hair and makeup done for the show, Jungkook had realized he hadn’t been his normal upbeat self, that’s when he tried to make him laugh with some sort of new expressions he’d been practicing on.

 Hoseok couldn’t help but to be thankful for each and everyone of them. They had done their best, however it still hurt not to see her when he had wanted nothing more.

 “The guys are starting to worry,” Namjoon said as they walked off stage to get ready for their performance.

 “I know, I heard Jin say he’d tie me to a chair at lunch if I refused to eat like this morning,” he muttered to the leader. “I’m doing my best though.”

 Namjoon nodded his head. “I know you are. Come on, let’s get through this performance and we can go back home.”

 With a nod, he headed with him to the dressing room. As he entered ahead of Namjoon, he noticed the strange way the other members suddenly turned to them, huddled together. A look of surprise filled their eyes, as if they hadn’t expected to see him. He had to get ready for the performance just like them…

 “What’s going on?” Hoseok asked confused.

“Nothing, Hyung,” Jimin said a little too quickly.

 “Why do you think somethings going on?” Jin asked at the same time, that windshield style laugh of nervousness slipped out.

 “Because you guys are standing together, facing me, with surprised looks on your face,” he pointed out then watched as they all started to smile. “And now you all have strange smiles on your face.”

 “Can’t fool you, Hoseok-hyung,” Jungkook said with a chuckle. He glanced at the others for help, as if he had no idea what to actually say to him.

 Yet the others seemed as lost as the youngest member. That really made him wonder. What could possibly be going on? He hadn’t been that much out of it, had he? No way, Namjoon would have said it was worse earlier and not just the guys were starting to worry.

 With his brows brought together in confusion, he looked at each one of them. “Are you not going to tell me what’s going on?”

 “We know you’ve been sad because you can’t see Y/N,” Taehyung said, a soft smile on his face. “So, we thought we’d give you a little surprise.”

 Hoseok look confused until the members stepped aside to see a giant bear behind them. He was just like any teddy bear, but with a red bow tie around his neck. It might have seemed strange, but for the fact he had gotten a smaller version of the same bear for Y/N for their… was it their anniversary? Could he call it that? They had known each other at least for six months when he gave it to her. That could be an anniversary… right?

 “We helped her get this sent to you for Christmas,” Jin explained. “Not easy lugging this giant around.” His thumb pointed at the bear.

 “Yeah,” Jimin said with a laugh. “Y/N told us it had to be this one. She sent every single one of us photos too. She said it had to match the one you got her a few months back. We thought this one should have a blue bow instead, you know to be a little different, but she insisted that it have a red one like hers.”

 A small smile touched his face, “Thanks guys. That’s really sweet of you all.”

 “Did they already give you the bear? I told them to wait for me.”

 With a snap of his head, Hoseok turned to the door behind him to see Y/N there. She smiled brightly as she saw him. He blinked, quite certain he that he was in a dream. He hadn’t heard her walk up, though from the grin on Namjoon’s face, he had known. But she hadn’t told him she would be here! They talked last night and he would have remembered that part of the conversation.

 “I guess they just can’t keep a secret, huh?” she asked, while the guys chuckled.

 “What… How…. When…” he stuttered about confused.

 “You were sad we couldn’t see each other like you promised, so Joonie thought it would be a great for me to come surprise you today. Since I thought it was brilliant idea, here I am. Surprise!”

 With a grin, he rushed to pull her into his arms and hugged her tightly. With a laugh, she wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him back, all the while the others made awws and laughed.

 “Okay… okay… I know you missed her, but we do still have a performance to do,” Namjoon spoke up, the voice of reason once more.

 Hoseok pulled back. “Right, I do. But you’re not going anywhere right? You’ll be here once I finish on stage?”

 Y/N gave a shake of her head. “Nope, I am here to celebrate Christmas with you. You’re stuck with me.” The smile he loved settled on her lips as they stared into each other’s eyes.

 “I can live with that,” he said, his own bright smile came out for real, unlike the interview.

 “Good,” she said giving him a gentle kiss. “Merry Christmas, Hoseok-oppa.”

 “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”