#long shitpost

It's 4 am and got too into this

Bonus with two researchers that amuse me:

Ещё предупреждения: много грамматических и логических ошибок!! Смотрите и читайте на свой страх и риск!!

comic relief in 3...2....1.... Are you feeling a little lack of creatures living on the Odessen?

Have you ever wondered if it's strange, that during the establishing of Odessen's Alliance base staff didn't stumble upon any notable creature living in the mountains? Well so did I And came up with The birb -----------------------------------------------------------------

Sa'hau/Sahau (from broken catharese "sky arrow" or arrow bird), also known as fish bird is a reptavian native to the Odessen. The name comes from when the creature was first observed, diving under the water of one of the mountain lakes. Diving creature bears close resemblance to an arrow with it's sharp beak and feathered tail. Despite nesting in the caves high above the ground, sahau do find themselves occasionally hunting in the forests for smaller creatures. Sahau coats come in various shades of green, brown, yellow, gray and blue with different stripe and dot patterns. Their beak "ring" spot on the other hand comes in all known colours. They have sort of feather "mane" resting along their neck and are capable of raising it as an umbrella. Such "mane" serves as an attraction attribute during mating time and a warning or a threat display when sahau is confronted or is feeling uncomfortable.

Soooo ofc cause of Palladi's love to all sorts of animals absolutely not catching them by himself for his own Force bonding expirements's sake (how terrible) and because of the need to traverse Odessen's land fast and relatively safe he's just been like

and so the domestication of flying Odessen dinosaurs began

or better to say, a prolific partnership.

Tho the birbs look like they will eat you and all your family in one turn they turned out to be prone to learning and further training.

here I have Palladi to show off his Toruk Makto riding skills

Being quite social, sahau made up themselves a reputation of loyal companions, assisting locals in fishing and sometimes even hunting, serving patrol duties along side with their riders and in general being fast and furious mounts.

Birb is helping, not stealing! no no.

Ah, the riders! Due to this whole bonding idea a dedicated Alliance force was established consisting mostly of Force-users and Force-sensitives who have been trained to create special bond with creatures.

ye I just slapped the rifle on, I didn't even pretend

Judging from the name they are, well, armed with special spears, that, upon being thrown, open its "claws" or "jaws", puncture target's armour with its middle needle (hehe) and release a shock charge.

Oh look! This mirialan made himself tattoos alike sahau wings, each "feather" is achievement with his flying buddy.

They come in white and og black (I guess), and some jewelry prefered by a rider (just examples).

"Which one of you was going to tell me tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?"

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SUBJECT(S): GARRUS VAKARIAN, JANE SHEPARD

LOCATION(S): NORMANDY SR2, TASALE

MODE(S): VERBAL, ELECTRONIC

-

Transcript

[GV BEGINS CALL]

JS: Vakarian?

GV: morning, Shepard.

JS: there a reason you’re calling me at this unholy hour? sound of your own voice just isn’t doing it for ya anymore?

GV: i would never disturb you without reason, CO.

JS: right.

GV: what?

JS: so, why are you bothering me this time?

GV: you know, many people across the galaxy would kill to be on my speed dial.

JS: that right?

GV: yeah. if you’re not careful, you might lose me forever.

JS: nah, your scrawny ass would always end up back here, brooding in the battery.

GV: you’re such a pleasant, friendly being. anyone ever told you that?

JS: everyday.

[pause, GV subharmonics]

GV: so i cant stop thinking about that human game you told me about-

JS: no.

GV: come on, please Shepard! humour your favourite turian.

JS: bold assumption. and no.

GV: seriously? is it Sparatus?

JS: Oraka.

GV: damn.

JS: hah.

GV: just a moment, currently collecting the shattered shards of my soul to bring to Chakwas in the morning.

JS: you might be my favourite turian poet if you keep up the dramatic bullshit.

GV: noted. now back to that human game we were gonna play.

JS: i am not playing ‘fuck, marry, kill’ with you.

GV: it’s for educational purposes.

JS: those educational purposes being?

GV: first up: Me, Wrex, and Alenko-

JS: no!

GV: come on, i want to learn about you.

JS: you mean, you want to learn who I’d fuck, marry and kill.

GV: well. yeah.

[pause]

JS: you. all three.

GV: what?

JS: you heard me.

GV: [incoherent]

JS: i’d rock your world, marry you in a cathedral, then slit your throat.

GV: mmm, you have such a way with words. and that’s not how the game works.

JS: it isn’t?

GV: i… don’t think so, no.

JS: hmm, guess we’ll never know. goodnight, Garrus.

GV: no wai-

[JS ENDS CALL]

People I used to know: teach others cause you are smart

People I used to know: learn an instrument

People I used to know: grow out your hair

People I used to know: wear more girl colors (aka pinks and purples)

People I used to know: watch more popular shows

Me: ok

Me: *starts liking girls along side anyone who I find attractive, alongside wearing more space themed earring and wearing science bracelets*

Me: *starts teaching others about lgbtqia+ stuff*

Me: *teaching myself have to code arduino music and teaching myself the ocarina*

Me: *has and undercut and is growing out the top of my hair to be long*

Me: *dyes hair purple and wears purples and pinks alongside a lot of black and grey*

Me: *watches some popular animes*

People I used to know: that’s not what we meant!!!!!

Me: I know! But I did as y’all said and I feel so much better now! Thanks for the advice!!!

One example (out of so many) it’s like Richie Tozier in “It Chapter Two” and how it turns out he is gay, but it is never said out loud so now there’s people claiming he’s not gay simply because it’s never stated. Despite the hints being there. Despite his secret being exactly that. Some people are oblivious and I get that because it might go over your head, but try to look a little deeper instead of denying it when it’s confirmed. I know sometimes especially online everything is considered this or that when something isn’t canon, but when something turns out to be canon... don’t deny it just because you didn’t get it. I can have my oblivious moments and I do think ‘It Chapter Two’ handles it a little too subtle at times maybe, but I had no problem catching on what his secret was or who R+E was all about. 

Now, while I did pick up on it with no problem I would like to point out not everyone is homophobic simply because they didn’t see it coming or understand the ending. Being unaware or slow on the uptake does not equal hate from said person. Like I said, I think Richie’s love for Eddie was a bit too subtle because most things you see in the movies I think is something that reads as a friendship too. The reason why I loved this character desicion with Richie though is that it doesn’t take away from it either. It adds layers to the character. They hit differently going back to the first movie and earlier in the new one. And most importantly one of the reasons why I cried at the end (as someone who doesn’t cry at movies that’s a big wow). His reaction to losing someone we learn he loved... wow. That hurt. Same scenes absolutely work as someone who romantically love their friend too. I just think there should have been at least one scene that you can’t mistake as being love for a friend. There should have been more scenes with them as adults I think. But that’s more of a personal preference though. I just really loved the characters of Richie and Eddie in these movies. 

Anyway that got messy I hope it’s understandable. Point being. It’s not that something can go over someone’s head that is a problem. It happens to me too. And sometimes things in movies ARE too subtle. But it’s the people that go back to look deeper and THEN deny confirmed information that annoys me. That they can’t seem to take what they are shown as facts and just what they hear. Personally I can find it fun to watch something again and THEN catch something I didn’t the first time around.

Fury-

Is that Darksiders?

Death-

Nice kneecaps

Strife-

Confusion

War-

His body proportion is fucked up

Azrael-

Gandalf shaved

Uriel-