#lola.about

I constantly have to be thinking of someone romantically otherwise i get too bored and start wanting to kill myself

idk it always cringes me out when spsos especially but sp-variants in general keep pointing out how i shouldn't behave in xyz way bcs it's 'too big' or 'too embarassing' (?) and?? that's so creepy like. i'm putting my whole pussy out there i'm sorry you guys are creepy and obsessed with yourselves... and you're gonna be shocked when you see i'm not gonna be as devastated as you are or would be if it ends or you know whatever it is... because like it's ALL huge it always is... you're just self centered and fucking weird... you never had it bcs u were too scared to be embarassed or hurt or whatever. but it all means nothing to me bcs it is literally everything... it's all everything. that's just my life and my understanding of things and how i process the world... lol. which makes it all equally neutral. i'd never hold myself back it wouldn't occur to me unless it was for some other person... you can never touch me because EVERYTHING touches me.

i can't see shit UNLESS i can't tell whether i got my contacts out or not. at those moments suddenly i forget which sight is good and which sight is bad

everyone hates me for being normal about my age and not feeling even remotely like i should rush into some fucking shit. for some reason