ROBERT.

the only positive thing i can say about this outfit is that your hat at least matches your shoes BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS COULD EVEN REMOTELY BE TERMED MATCHING.

the theory that you are colorblind is actually beginning to gain some credibility in my psyche because nobody in their right minds would wear THAT PARTICULARLY BLINDING TONE of blue (which I hesitate to call 'candy blue' because I am FAIRLY POSITIVE that not even artificial coloring could create such a mindnumbing hue) with orangelike muddy earth tones.

and I have not even mentioned yet your CHOICE IN HEADGEAR, which apart from the coloring robert is just a horrible shape.  ask jude law how to wear a beanie.  he is better at it than you.

and i see we have a resurgence of the alligator manpurse.  i am still side-eyeing the fuck out of that because i suspect it might actually bite me.

ROBERT.

I don't think you've quite decided who you want to be here.

your boots are screaming "LUMBERJACK!" at me but your pants are telling me that all you want to do is go back to bed, which since you have chosen to dress like this is probably your best option at this point.

your (PURPLE!) becardigan'd upper half says "hipster" and the (PURPLE!) hat seems to agree. robert/purple otp.

YOUR MANPURSE (which i will side-eye the fuck out of until the end of time) SAYS YOUR HEART'S DEEPEST DESIRE IS TO SWIM FREE AND EASY AS AN ALLIGATOR IN THE FUCKING EVERGLADES. furthermore it matches nothing else you are wearing.