#loki laufeyson reader insert

And you had the power to keep things that way: the people ignorant, the planet relatively safe. You would keep it that way. But curiously, the moment your toes brushed the open air at the end of the walkway, the entire world around you spun. Before you could pitch off the building, you sat down at the very edge of the pad. Sure, you planned to go down eventually, but you preferred to make the choice of when exactly—go out with a bit of dignity, so to speak.

Your shoes dangled off into nothingness as you watched the traffic pass. Falling would be so easy. You were in something of a time crunch. If the team stopped arguing for any amount of time, one of them was likely to notice you'd never returned from your alleged getting of fresh air. They would die for you. You'd realized that during the meeting. Whether they thought you were crazy for thinking you didn't belong here, whether they distrusted you because of your relationship with Loki—they all loved you enough to give their lives to keep you safe.

And since you loved them, too, you couldn't allow them to do it. The fact remained you could be right. You might have caused all this. Real or not, you couldn't sit by and let them get hurt. Yes, you might have read the occasional whump or hurt/comfort fic back in your world, but reading about Natasha being tortured would be very different from seeing it firsthand after she'd spent an evening painting your nails with meticulous care.

That your inhale following your decision came so steadily came as a pleasant surprise. So did how readily you stood again. The street beneath you didn't spin this time. All you needed to do was taken one step forward...

"There is a shortage of perfect faces in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours. Careful!"

So great was your shock at being addressed that you had startled and wobbled dangerously at the edge of the launchpad. Loki—of course no one else would be here to see you in this state but Loki—grimly caught your wrist to tug you to safety. Against your better judgment, you fell against his chest and trembled there. Intention to jump or not, you still didn't want to manage it by accident.

When the fear passed, you pushed away to glare at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Several things," he answered. "First and foremost, I'm ensuring that you don't kill yourself."

"Well, that's too bad, because I don't remember asking for your permission to save the world."

"Won't you at least hear me out? Come. I'd feel much more secure with some distance between you and that drop."

You did not budge. Loki sighed, but it wasn't his usual over-the-top weight-of-the-world-on-his-shoulders kind of sigh. Very deliberately, he loosened his grip on you and dropped your hand. Then he sat down in your previous position with his boots hanging into the void.

"Very well. We'll do things your way. Will you please sit with me for a while?"

Your arms—which you'd wrapped tightly around yourself when freed—relaxed somewhat. But still you made no move to join him.

Now he rolled his eyes. Afterward, he lifted his right hand in the air and kept the left fully visible to you and said solemnly: "I swear by all the gods in Asgard, Jotunheim, and Midgard that I will do nothing to force you to comply with my requests. I only want to speak with you."

Now that your determination had been so rudely interrupted, the whipping wind at this height had you shivering. You took a seat beside him hesitantly all the same. Better that, you figured, than to shake yourself right off the platform.

"I think you said everything you needed to say earlier," you said.

Rather than respond, Loki unclasped his cloak. The warm weight of it settled over your shoulders before he said anything else.

"I'm sorry," he said at last. "I was...No. I am scared of dying."

Your fingers twisted around the edge of the cape to draw it closer around you. Despite the gale and the cold, the herbal scent you'd come to associate with Loki himself remained stuck to the fabric.

Loki's laughed humorlessly into the sky. "Pathetic, isn't it? I would do anything to escape the death that is my birthright. You would offer yourself in exchange for what you believe to be a lie."

"It is a lie," you said.

"But it isn't!" Now he turned to you. "Everything you've experienced here has been real, and everything you remember from before is real, too."

"So why did you try to convince me it wasn't?"

"I thought if we both could believe in the truth of this place, it would—what is the Midgardian saying?—seal the deal. That I could be saved. I see now that I was wrong."

"Too bad it took you so long to realize that," you said. "Maybe if you'd admitted everything months ago, Tony and Bruce would have had time to get the real Cinnabar back, and we wouldn't be in this mess."

"[Name], there is no 'real' Cinnabar. The only Cinnabar there's ever been is you."

"You just told me that all of this," you waved one hand wildly around your head, "is real!"

"It is! A wish become reality is still reality."

You stood with enough force to send Loki's cape billowing off your body. The wind soon whisked it away. "Then all of this is my fault, and I have to make it right."

Loki got to his feet as well. "Your fault? Whatever are you talking about?"

"'A wish become reality is still reality.' My wish became reality! I wished to be less lonely, and I woke up here. If I had never done that, everyone here would be safe. They'd never have known me. Thanos wouldn't have a shortcut to the stones. I—"

He silenced you with a hand softly cupping your face. "I wished to have lived a better life. As I lay dying on the Statesman, while in close proximity to several Infinity Stones, I wished to have done more, been more, loved more. [Name], you were the answer to my wish."

What possible reply could you give to that other than, "What?"

"So I am certain that you can understand," he went on, "that I cannot allow you to make this senseless sacrifice on my behalf. I cannot let you die on the altar of my selfishness."

"I can't stay, Loki. If Thanos gets ahold of me, he'll kill half the universe before you all can do anything to rescue it."

"I know. That is why while you were off having your fruitless work meeting with the rest of the Avengers, I was calling in a few favors to get my hands on this."

He held up the same satchel he'd once carried the photograph of your family in. Carefully, he opened the top of it. A thin current of blood-red liquid surged from the top like a tiny geyser before he sealed it shut once more. You could hardly believe your eyes.

"Is that the Aether?" you asked.

One end of his lips curled at your obvious wonder. "The Tesseract would never have gotten you home. You traveled realities, not distance."

"But it's not in stone form. How are you going to get it to do anything?"

"All I plan to do is undo my wish. I don't see that putting it in a stronger form will make the object more or less likely to bow to my whim, seeing as I never made my wish directly on it to begin with. It's just a sort of focusing instrument with fantastical powers beyond your imagination."

“So because it’s magic, you don’t have to explain it?”

“I’m so glad you understand. We really make an incredible team, you and I. It’s as though our souls were cut from the same cloth.” His winning smile faded slowly away. “I didn’t lie about everything, you know. I really do love you.”

“Because this universe forced you to love me,” you said.

“No. The love came later. Watching you, talking to you, sharing my fears with you, I found myself inexorably drawn to everything about you. You truly are a lovable creature, [F Name] [L Name]."

Could you believe him? You wanted to. Which didn't make a lick of sense, seeing as if you had just had an argument with a normal man back home, you wouldn't be so quick to put your guard down—but here you were, able and ready to do so for a self-professed god of mischief! Before you could give more thought to the question of trust, he added:

"And that is why I have to let you go."

Red liquid gushed now from the top of the satchel in his grasp. It swirled round and round and round your body, dousing the whole scene in a deep, dark scarlet. You could barely see Loki even though he remained mere inches from you.

"Wait! Come with me. You'll be safe there," you said.

"I rather think I've broken your heart enough to make up for multiple worlds by now."

"But just because I'm gone won't mean Thanos isn't going to come!"

"I know. But you'll be safe. And that is something I have come to realize I am willing to die for."

Your field of vision had shrunk to the point that all you could see of Loki were his eyes, two shiny, all-black spheres shining at you through the reddish-dark. The noise of the traffic and the wind had diminished.

"If there is a universe where I exist and you do not, and there is a universe where you exist and I do not," he said, "then surely somewhere there is a universe where we both exist. I will look for you there. I love you, [Name]."

Everything went black. The sound of a rushing river filled your ears. No wind stirred your clothing. It felt as though slick, opaque walls were pressing in on you from every angle. You tried to speak, but your tongue would not move, nor would any other part of your body. Only one thing remained to make clear:

'I love you, too.'

******

The sharp blare of your alarm cut through the thick darkness like a knife. Groaning, you thrust one arm from your warm cocoon of blankets and groped about until you found your cell phone. Only after you'd silenced the din did you sit up enough to expose yourself to the chill of the world beyond your bed.

Half a yawn later, realization struck. Your bed. You turned your head to one side to see the dust-coated blinds. Your room. You pulled the fabric covering your chest out so that you could give it a thorough examination. Your pajamas.

All traces of sleepiness vanished. One small leap had you out of bed with your feet on the floor. You rushed out into the rest of your tiny, one-bedroom apartment. Just outside your bedroom sat your crammed living-slash-dining room. Nearby was the kitchen, filled with feeble pre-work-shift sunlight drifting through the skylight, and—yes!—a pile of dirty plates rising from the sink. A calendar was pinned where you could not miss it; its pages were still open to December of the previous year.

Previous year?!

You clapped a hand over your own mouth to keep the weak laughter from burbling out of your throat and disturbing your neighbors. Just as quickly as you'd been filled with energy, you lost the strength to stand upright. The open bedroom door served to hold you up as you slowly slid to the floor, pulled your legs up to your chest, and buried your face in your knees.

Just a dream. It had only been a vivid, wild, exceptionally lengthy dream—one you could never share with anyone else. Anyone hearing the details of your fantastical Avengers life would surely remind you to stop reading on Ao3 at least an hour before bed. No, you'd just have to keep this secret to the grave.

Curious, you lifted your head and shifted to look at one forearm. You concentrated with all your might on the emotions you'd felt in that dream: anger, fear, anxiety, love, courage. Nothing happened. Even attempting to trigger yourself into a panic attack resulted in no change whatsoever.

Your phone chimed with a reminder that you'd better stop living in dreamland if you wanted to keep your job. Here in the real world, you still had rent to pay, so up you got. You finished your morning routine with picking up a to-go breakfast from the kitchen. Then you grabbed your keys and your purse and made to leave.

You saw it just before you stepped outside: Your corkboard plastered with memories. An enormous grin spread across your face as you locked the door behind you.

In one familiar photograph of your family, someone nearly hidden in the background had the wrong-colored eyes.

THE END

Final Author's Note:

Hey, thanks for joining me for this little surprise adventure. As I said previously, this was originally intended to be a one shot that just had the penultimate scene until I realized it really wouldn't have any emotional payoff unless I built up to it. The pacing is a little wonky, but, hey, I think this is the best paced multi-chapter fic I've written. And it gave me an opportunity to try some things, like writing action scenes (those always ground my progress to a halt) and trying to keep the romance ever-present even when Loki wasn't physically in a scene. I hope that I succeeded to some small degree in my goals. I've been studying plot pacing a lot recently, so I hope my next attempt (which through a poll on Tumblr will be Blossoms in the Snow) will show improvement.

As always, I have to give a huge shout-out to my IRL friend, R. Thank you for always being a text away from answering my bizarre questions such as, "Is it racist to say someone tastes like MSG after they eat Chinese food?" or helping me figure out an appropriate onomatopoeia; for almost always knowing what word I'm looking for when I describe it to you; and for enduring the all-important "bitching step" of my writing process and listening to me moan about how words like "herbaceous" don't mean what I want them to and English is a stupid language. Even after all these years, you complete me. You don't often read my fic, so it's unlikely you'll see this, but if you ever do: I love you, and I think you're pretty swell.

Unfortunate events apart, you started the night smiling and dancing with Wanda and Sam, enjoying the refreshing drinks a bit too much so you had to sit down for a while or you could fall from all the spinning combined with the alcohol. But as you calmed a bit from all the rush you could notice how hot it was inside the room, how sticky your skin was and how uncomfortable you felt.

The good news was that you were great at sneaking out of the party, getting to the corridor with only one thing in your head: a cold bath.

The terrible news was that the bath did not solve a thing in your situation and as soon as you put on the most light pajamas you could find you were all sticky again because of that damn climate.

“What caused you to come up here, my love?” Loki asked.

You jumped, startled by his presence sitting on the bed with that perfect suit still on — you couldn’t even think about wearing something that thick.

“It's too hot in here.”

“So let me accompany you back there.” It was really simple in his head.

“I’m not talking about the room.” You grunted. “I’m talking about the compound as a whole.” You dropped yourself above the bed, not liking the feeling of the sheets under you.

Too warm for your taste.

“I have no idea how you’re handling this suit in this type of weather.” You looked at him with curiosity. “But you do look very good in it.”

“Darling, can’t you truly see how I manage to keep myself this collected?” You shook your head and Loki held a laugh. “I am a god.”

“Go fu…”

“Just something to lighten up the mood, forget it.” Loki said in between his laughs at your offended face. “I am a frost giant. I have cold skin in the most literal sense.”

“Oh.” Everything was placed together in your head, finally making a lot more sense. “You’re a lucky one aren’t ya?” You huffed, completely annoyed at how unfair it was.

“You look adorable like this.”

“Melting?”

“Annoyed.”

Your eye roll was enough of an answer.

“But you could do something to help me not melt.” You. Were. A. Genius. With your best pleading face and grabby hands you were ready to follow with the plan. “Cuddles, please?”

“I don’t see how physical contact is supposed to help.”

“When it comes from a frost giant…” You trailed off.

“What? No. I don’t think it is a good idea.”

“Loki, please.” You made your best pleading eyes. “I don’t feel well, just hug me, my giant.”

“No.”

“Why won’t you…?”

“I do not wish for you to see me like that.” Loki cutted your line, turning his back to you like he wanted to hide.

“Like what?”

“In my… most natural form. I don’t want you to see the monster under the surface.” His voice was breaking and you hated it.

You dragged yourself out of the bed, walking to his shrinking form and carefully placing your hands above where his were hiding his face. You slowly tugged them away to look inside his eyes seriously.

“I don’t want you to talk about yourself like this ever again. Do you understand me?” He looked away from your face and you repeated yourself to make sure. “Do you understand me?”

You didn’t notice the changing in his features right away from how focused you were on his eyes. Loki grew even taller, his skin grew colder and his eyes went red, his face and hands were all in a light tone of blue. You decided that was your favourite shade of the colour.

Your smile was not what Loki was expecting.

“Do you understand me?” You asked me one more time, this time lower but equally serious about the matter.

Now Loki nodded his head. He did it slowly, but he did.

“Now just jug me please because I’m all annoyed at the weather and you’re a personal air conditioner.” You begged, dragging him to the bed. “But an air conditioner that I really really love.”

Taglists:

Everything: @writing-for-marvel @levylovegood

The elevator doors opened and you quickly rushed out of them. All you wanted was to work off some steam and avoid him for the rest of the day.

After working out, you decided to retreat to your bedroom. You saw him in the kitchen talking to Thor, and you quickly tried to rush past them.

Thor called out your name causing you to stop and turn around. You saw the same smirk on Loki’s face from before. You walked over to both of them and tried to act like you weren’t about to explode.

“We’re having a movie night tonight. Will you be there?” Thor asked you, oblivious to the tension between you and his brother. Loki tilted his head to the side, waiting for your answer. “Who else will be there?” You asked, curiously.

Before Thor could answer, “I’ll most definitely be there,” Loki smirked as he made you flustered. You quickly shook your head no. “No, I think I’m just going to go back to my room and rest” you said, turning around quickly. You just about ran to your room, so you couldn’t get stopped by them again.

Once you were in the safety of your room, you had to find a way to pass the time.

You had finished reading your book, finished a movie, and reorganized your closet. You had no idea what to do next. You flopped back onto your bed and let out an exasperated sigh.

Then, the door was flung open. Your head snapped to the side. You saw Loki close the door behind himself, with a wicked smirk on his face.

“Hello, my darling. Have you been thinking of me?” He asked, causing you to jump up to your feet. In one of your dreams, those were exactly the words he said before he proceeded to fuck you against the wall.

His smirk confirmed that he knew what he was saying. “How do you know about that?” You asked him, desperate for an answer. When he shrugged, you hit him in the chest.

“I am the god of mischief, dear,” he had a glint in his eye. All the puzzle pieces lined up, and you finally understood. “You put those dreams in my head?” You asked.

You weren’t sure whether you should be turned on or upset. He didn’t respond, but the smile on his face told a different story.

“You asshole” you said, swatting at him. He chuckled while grabbing both of your wrists. He held you completely still, not letting you move a muscle.

“Now hang on. Don’t you want to find out if real life is as good as the dreams?” He asked, grabbing onto your waist. You stood there stunned.

As his hands toyed with the ends of your shirt, you looked him up and down. You were trying to figure out if this was just another prank.

“It’s not a prank, sweetheart” he said, smirking. You frowned. “Get out of my head” you said, crossing your arms. He ignored your words and startled you by attaching his lips to the side of your neck. His mouth lightly sucked on your sweet spot. You shivered under his touch.

He led you backwards towards your bed, until you fell back against the cushiony mattress. You grabbed the collar of his shirt pulling his much larger body on top of you.

“Kiss me” you commanded, not playing hard to get anymore. He couldn’t resist. His lips were on yours and his hands were running up and down your sides. “I thought I was an asshole” he asked, cockily.

You rolled your eyes as you pulled your shirt over your head. “You are, but you’re still hot. It’s not my fault that you fucked me so many times in my dreams. It’s your fault for making me want you so bad” you said, stripping him of his shirt.

His toned body practically mocked you. You prayed that it wasn’t a dream. Your fingers traced over his abs. He smirked as you admired him. The only sound filling the room were your soft breaths.

“Just gonna stare?” He teased. You ignored the annoying comment and grabbed onto his shoulders, allowing you to kiss him. He stopped teasing you as he felt your hips rock against his. He loved messing with, but you were doing things to him.

He cupped your ass through your leggings and gave it a playful squeeze. He pushed his crotch into you as he heard a soft moan leave your lips.

“If you don’t hurry up—” you started to threaten, but were cut off by his lips trailing down your stomach. Your skin tingled as his soft lips grazed over it.

He was enjoying making you desperate, but he needed you just about as bad you needed him. “Did you like the dreams?” He asked, as he slid your leggings off your legs.

“They were so fucking hot” you panted, desperately grinding your hips against his. Your words only fed into his enormous ego. Your finger wandered to his belt and struggled to undo the buckle.

He watched you struggle, smirking to himself. He decided to help you out, so he could finally free his cock from the restraints of his jeans. He undid the belt in a matter of seconds, and slid out of his pants.

“Look at you, squirming underneath me” he mocked. Deciding to have some fun, you palmed him through his boxers. Suddenly, he wasn’t as cocky. A groan escaped his lips, as he jutted his hips into your hand.

“Now who’s squirming?” You teased, flipping him over. He sat with his back against the headboard. You wanted to tease him just a little, so you slowly straddled his lap. His hands found their place on your hips, admiring your body.

You rocked your hips forward, grinding against his erection. You still had your panties on, but you could feel them getting wetter and wetter by the second. He threw his head back against the headboard.

You placed wet kisses along his collarbone. “You’re so wet, darling” he said, slipping his fingers into your lace panties. You whined as his fingers dove into your folds. You started grinding onto his hand. “So desperate. You riding my fingers? Are you that needy?” He mocked, slipping another finger inside of you. You whimpered, his name falling off your lips.

You reached behind your back and quickly unclasped your bra. You reached for his boxers, trying to tug them down. “Slow down, sweetheart. I’m in control” he told you. You felt yourself becoming more turned on as he told you what to do.

He effortlessly flipped you over and pinned your hands above your head. While he loved watching you grind on his lap, he was in control and on top. He had you right where he wanted you. “Look how gorgeous you are” he said, massaging your breasts in each hands. His fingers toyed with your hardened buds.

You let out a low moan as your eyes fluttered close. He knew just how to tease you to make you fall apart. “Please” you begged, resisting the urge to buck your hips up against him.

“Please what?” He asked caressing your cheek. You whined, desperate for your release. “Please just fuck me. No more teasing. I need you” you begged him. He knew the dreams would have an effect on you, but now you were a moaning mess in his hands.

“Don’t worry. I’ll give you what you want” he said, pulling your panties off in one motion. The contrast between the cool room and your heat sent a shiver down your spine. He pulled off his boxers, finally letting you see his cock.

You practically drooled at the sight. His tip was red and leaking with precum. Even the thought of having him inside of you made you clench your thighs together. You reached up and gently stroked his cock.

Curses fell from his lips as you caught him off guard. “You ready to take my cock?” He asked you, holding onto his hips. You eagerly nodded.

His pushed his length into your slick folds. You squeezed onto to the sheets and moaned out his name. “You’re so fucking big” you called out, breathlessly.

He gripped your hips, knowing it would leave bruises later. He started to thrust into you, his hips snapping against yours. You could hear him grunt as he pushed farther and farther into you.

The sight of you whimpering under him only turned him on more. He wanted to watch you fall apart, all from his cock. “You’re squeezing me so good. Feel like heaven, darling” he moaned, wrapping your legs around his waist.

You heard Steve and Tony walk by your room talking about god knows what. Loki’s hand was quickly over your mouth, muffling your whimpers. “Gotta keep quiet” he hushed you, but not slowing down his pace.

You heard them both walk away, and he removed his hand just as he hit your g-spot. “Oh—fuck” you moaned, gripping his shoulders. He repeated the action, so you would continue to hold onto him for dear life. He loved the way that you cling to him. You could feel your stomach begin to tighten, he could tell by the way you started to clench onto his cock. He was close too.

The bed squeaked as he rammed into you, chasing his high. “I’m gonna—fuck,” you tried to warn him, but began cumming. You squeezed harder onto his cock. “—almost there” he said, speeding up his pace.

You were incoherent as your vision went white. You wrapped your arms around his neck and held on as he pushed deeper inside of you. You could barely process what was happening, panting as he pushed you past your high.

Your eyes rolled back as tightened his grip on your hips. “Fuck” he muttered as he came. His thrusts became slower as you both came down from your highs. He rested his head against your shoulder as he tried to calm down.

He rolled off of you and laid there breathless. “Even better than my dreams” you mumbled, looking over at him. The room smelled of sweat and sex. “You were magnificent” he said, pressing kisses to the side of your neck.

A sudden knock at the door made you both jump. You recognized the voice that called out your name as being Thor’s. “What is it?” You asked, glancing at the door to make sure it was locked.

Loki chucked at your flustered expression. “I was looking for Loki. Have you seen him?” He asked. You clasped your hand over Loki’s mouth, trying to silence his laughter. “Last time I saw him he was with you” you lied, before elbowing Loki’s side.

He felt his hands up in resignation. “If you see him, tell him I’m looking for him” he told you, before walking away.

You slapped his chest. “He could have heard you” you scolded him. The thought didn’t seem to bother Loki that much. “He wouldn’t be very surprised. You always act flustered when I’m around. I think everyone knows how desperate you are for me” he teased, leaning in to kiss you. You pushed him away before he could.

“Asshole” you jokingly muttered, before rolling out of bed to put your clothes back on. He grabbed your hips and pulled you on top of him. “Who said we were done here?” He asked, before kissing your neck.

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Away from the noise of the compound, away from pestering of one Tony Stark or Thor Odinson, and away from the very idea of their relationship only being temporary.  Not because you had no faith in him but the reality that he wasn't human but a God, and you were merely the human who would be lucky enough to reach your eighties with your unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise. Whatever time you could make with him, you make the most out of it.

The silence of the library that Tony had installed in the compound was comforting. Nothing much was heard between the two of them. The sound of the pages being turned and the grunt from him if something in the book was displeasing him.

"Your thoughts are running and I can hear it from here, my love." Loki's voice brought you back to the present.

"Will you mourn for me when I'm dead?" You asked, just idea of what life would be like for him when you were gone always made you curious.

Thor had always said there was a difference in Loki since meeting you, since you two had become a couple, since you had made those vows of faithfulness to each other. A difference that you could see even to this day. He was still the same ol' Loki that everyone still grows cautious and wary of even when he had proven himself as part of the Avengers. But you believe had become more mellow, more open to talk to anyone especially the Spider Kid that he could do no wrong to.

"What kind of question is that?" He hissed, the book he was reading now shut with a sharp thud before his focus was now on you. "Are you not feeling well? Must I force you to go see Dr. Banner again?"

You smiled, being reminded of the cold you tried so hard to assure Loki was nothing. But after a box of tissues empty and your lack of will to stand up from the bed, it was in his best interest to carry you--in your protest, to Dr. Banner's office just to have him check on you. You have now vowed never to let even a sniffle be unchecked by Bruce or any other doctor available in the compound.

"One of this days, I will shove a Golden Apple of Idunn to stop myself from worrying about you." he muttered realizing you weren't sick with the smile still playing on your face.

"What's that?" You inquired, leaning towards him more. The coolness of his skin permeated and you found comfort as he had pulled you closer into his arms., until you now rested on his lip, facing him in the same manner eyes gazing at you.

"A fruit in Asgard." He began, with a flick of his wrist, an illusion of a golden apple comes floating between the two of you. "It grants us youth, vigour and sometimes even immortality to Midgardians."

So there was a way for you to experience that kind of life.

"But..." You trailed off. You know there would be a catch with this sorts of things. Knowing life, the general balance that came with life and death, there will always be a condition to this.

"No catch. You will not lose a limb or lose your sanity." he smirked, the apple fading away as his cold comforting hands now cupped your cheeks. "It is a matter of if one mortal is willing to throw away their humanity, their family and friends for the sake of an immortality and the uncertainty of it."

Would you really be leaving anyone behind? You never had a good relationship with your parents growing up, and the last time you talked with any of your siblings was years now. You barely even know at this point how their life was at and what you were doing besides being a freeloader in the Avengers Compound, like they had bluntly told you one call during Christmas.

The friends you had now, mostly the Avengers, had a higher life expectancy--unless death comes to them in another way. But they were all that you could really call as family. The only ones that actually matter.

"Do you have one with you?" You inquired. Such a change was profound, something many would think more than twice about, but seeing him, seeing what you have in store in the form of a Trickster God that had vowed to worship the ground you walk in.

"Depends." He cupped your cheeks. Thumb caressing against your bottom lip. "Are you going to take it if I do have one?"

"Will you let me?" You smirked leaning closer to him now. The warmth of his breath and the coldness of his touch was a perfect contrast.

"My want and what you may need maybe completely different from one another, My Love." The way his blue hues fall from your face, now a deep thought lingered just as much as you had come to terms about the difference it may be. "I cannot make you choose to stay even if I want to. I accept the curse of immortality, making the most of what we already have."

"What if I want the apple? Will you give it to me right now?" You asked again.

"More than ever."

'

"Will you not get tired of me?"

"Never." he shook his head, once again meeting your eyes. The brilliance of his azure eyes only made your decision more evident.

Maybe it would be a selfish decision, but you wanted this, you wanted this little things. This little moments with Loki wouldn't be limited. Forever seems like such a long time, but with him, with him in your life and by your side, maybe it wouldn't be so scary as many would try to convince her as such.

"Forever with you doesn't sound too bad." you assured finally standing back up to your two feet, Loki's hands now held onto your hands, refusing to let you go. "I've got you and everything else doesn't seem too bad."

"Even when you have to also live just as long as the oaf Thor?" he smirked, the seriousness of their conversation was long gone now.

"Don't make me change my mind Loki with such an argument." you snapped, walking away from the library to the cackle of your loving boyfriend.

There was fruit left on the table in a large bowl polished to the point of mirroring whatever came close to it. Some of them resembled in shape what you knew from Earth, but there were many that didn't. 

You reached for a yellow roundish one and peeled the skin off. It had a sour taste of overripe mush. 

Loki munched on small blue berries while he sat by the fire. He did his best to remain calm, but his foot kept twitching nervously every now and then. 

"How many assassinations have you been through?" you asked when you sat next to him. He turned to let you put your head on his knees. 

"Two for political reasons, back on Asgard. Some idiots thought they could wipe out the ruling dynasty and take over. There was one more when Thor and I have been sent as ambassadors to a place newly conquered and visibly unhappy about it. And one when I just didn't get along with some noble. To this day I have no idea why," he stated with a smile that said otherwise. 

His finger followed the plane of your brow tenderly. 

"Sounds like you were a dick to the wrong person. You have that effect on people." 

"...could be."

A soft knock at the door ended the moment. You looked through the balcony. The colors began to shift. 

A man you'd never seen before waited for you in the corridor. You weren't sure if he was a guard, but the thin, needle-like sword by his side suggested so. Or maybe no one there felt safe anymore. 

Loki took your hand as you followed the silent man. He was as tall as the High Prince and the Queen, but of a slender build, almost as if he would break should any pressure be applied to his bones. What startled you the most was that you were finally able to see him clearly. The shadows still seemed to cling to him as a second skin, but there was no blurriness that made your head hurt like yesterday. 

His sharp and cold eyes noticed you watching him. There was no softness to his features. The untamed darkness of his skin shifted wildly as a storm front would swallow the sky in endless hunger. 

He guided you through winding paths between the pillars in shades of off-gray, partially hidden under the climbing ropes of tiny flowers. The breeze snuck between them, careful as to not make a sound. 

The man led you to a terrace bathed in shadow from overhanging roses. Their thick thorns and sturdy branches intertwined savagely, forming a close-packed, unbreakable surface. 

"High Prince." Loki bowed his head toward the lord waiting underneath the roses. You quickly followed suit. . 

The guard left you without a word, walking away on silent, bare feet. 

The High Prince wore a tunic of deep blues and intricate patterns of interlaced branches, or maybe animals, or maybe spiders with their long, thin legs creeping from behind whatever tried to run. The design shifted whenever you thought you finally grasped it. You turned your eyes away before it became impossible. 

"Despite the outrage among my people," he said in a tone rich with shimmering starlight, "I still hope this mess can be solved bloodlessly. And quickly." 

His head was close to the concentrated woven wall of thorns and roses above him. The Prince didn't seem to bother staying careful. His horns, painted with a silver dye, glinted sharply. 

"We'll do our best," Loki promised. "What happened on the day of the murder?" 

"Nothing beyond the usual. Asgard's ambassador had taken a liking to our library, and spent most of his days there, along with one of the librarian's assistants. And then one day, they were found right there, bloodied and cold." His hand moved. The long, spindly fingers were tipped with claws. 

He motioned towards a niche under the overhanging roses. When you first entered the balcony, you thought it was bathed in dense shadow. But shadows could never be red. 

"The lord had of course faded by the time his remains were found, and not much was left of him. We have moved the Asgardian’s… body to the rooms he used to occupy, and spelled it to remain intact had you any need to investigate it."

"We are terribly sorry for the loss," Loki said, watching the dark splotches of dried blood. Judging by their expanse, no one bothered to clean them. 

You wondered if, in a world where its inhabitants simply faded, and their life energy was returned to the core of their world, they were surprised to see such a mess left. You looked up at the roses in full bloom, their flowers meaty and wide open to the endless light of the sky without sun. 

The Prince followed your gaze. 

"Beautiful, aren't they?" For the first time since arriving, he addressed you. "I have never seen them bloom. The assistant's link to the core wasn't strong, but even it was enough to revive a part of it." 

Despite the warmth of the castle, you shivered. There was nothing human in the eyes regarding you with calculated care. 

"We'll do our best to bring this matter to a swift end," Loki said, taking a casual step ahead, cutting through that stare. "And investigate everything thoroughly." 

The smile he wore like an armor was edged and unpleasant. In a place where thoughts shaped reality, words could be knives, used carefully and meticulously. 

"I hope so." 

The High Prince left the balcony, his horns scratching the unyielding surface of roses. One of them was cut, and rained down in tears of red petals. The spiraling patterns of the lord's tunic seemed to look at you as he walked into the bright corridors with his hands clasped behind his back. There was something wrong with the shadows circling beneath his feet. 

You let out a breath you hadn’t noticed you were holding. "I try really hard, but the longer we stay here, the harder it gets to find at least one normal thing in this place." 

"I promise that once we're done here, I'll show you a world less… corrupted."

"I honestly can't wait." 

You walked over to the place where two people you'd never get to know had their lives ended. There was nothing special about the crumbling stone, corroded by the passing of time and the shifting currents of energy in the air. 

Loki reached into the depths of his magic in hope of finding any trace of whoever was behind it. But the Edge's magic was wild and tangled, and whoever paid a visit there, left no magical footprint. 

Loki came closer and reached over your shoulder. The curtain of roses lifted a little, showing a hole where the balcony's railing should've been. Beneath it, the castle's wall was in a rough state, with pieces missing. You both looked down through it, toward the ground. 

"I may not be an expert climber," you said, "but I have a feeling getting on this balcony through there wouldn't really be a problem." 

"I am an expert climber, especially when it comes to castles," Loki judged the distance and crumbled stone, "and it definitely wouldn't. The only question is, why not actually use the stairs?" 

"If I was a 7 foot tall High Prince with murderous intent, I'd prefer to stay out of people's sight too. And if I knew the whereabouts of the most hated person in my kingdom, I don't think it'd be hard to sneak into the place he passes on his way from the library every day."

"That sounds oddly specific, darling, and almost as if you suggest that the most important lord on the Edge wanted to murder that ambassador, but not in a way that would immediately start a war. Why do it sneakily and request an investigation? That sounds like extra steps leading nowhere." 

"That is a hole in my theory," you admitted, walking away from the dried swaths of blood. "But you have to admit he acts a little off. Literally everything is suspicious about him. And it would actually make sense if he started murdering people in order to keep himself from fading. You've seen what it already did to some roses. If he used more people..."

You leaned on the railing and Loki followed. The gardens the balcony overlooked were a tangled chaos of branches, flowers, and trees leaning heavily to the sides, as if in the middle of moving. Huge statues of people you had no knowledge about rose through them, staring with blind eyes. If anyone wanted to use them as cover to get to the wall, it wouldn't be a problem. But what for? 

You put your head on Loki's shoulder and felt his arm wrap around your waist. 

"My theory makes no sense," you said into the leather of his armor. 

"We don't have enough clues yet to make a sound one. Don't worry about it, we just got here." 

He sent you a soft smile, one he rarely let anyone see. It often caught you off-guard with how much tenderness could be found in his smallest gestures. It was a relief to have someone by your side, wherever you went and whatever you had to deal with. There was something reassuring with knowing that even in the vast expanse of the universe, you weren't alone. 

"Thank you," you muttered into his lips softly. 

Standing so close, you felt the moment his surprise shifted into something else. 

Loki pulled you closer into the kiss, with need and joy digging his fingers into the nape of your neck. He didn't force you, though, and when for the briefest moment something else caught your eye, he didn't stop you moving away. 

His lips were pink and the breath they caught, ragged. With heavy lids, Loki followed your gaze towards the gardens behind you. 

The Queen stood as still as if she already were one of the statues overlooking the gardens and the narrow, gravel paths winding between them. Her gown was made out of silk as ethereal and delicate as moonlight, and on anyone else, it would look regal and grand. But the fading was a cruel destiny, and one that paid no favor to those afflicted. The Queen clad in silks and jewelry like falling stars was barely there, gray despite the light bathing the world. Despite the remnants of life still dwelling deep inside her. 

Her eyes were empty to the home around her, no recognition or emotion showing on her face. She looked at a patch of flowers climbing over one of the statues, but it was uncertain if she actually saw them. 

An appropriate distance away, another figure stood. It was a woman with a headpiece covering her squat, stunted horns like morning mist on a spiderweb. A scar ran down her right cheek, old and badly healed. Her eyes were trained on the Queen, but her pose was stooped and bored. She must've been a guard delegated to ensure the well-being of the fading ghost of the Queen. 

"I might've just shifted into detective mode, because something is telling me that maybe we should think of looking for witnesses," you whispered. 

Loki shivered, feeling your breath brush his neck in a gentle caress. 

"Talking to her would be considered a great offense," he said with a slight rasp to his voice. "The ones who are fading are supposed to be left alone to reconcile with the core as their essence fades. It's a tradition, and an important rule." 

"When do we break it?" 

Loki eyed the guard. 

"...once she's alone. It shouldn't be difficult to find her, even though everyone seems to overlook her." 

"And that's why she could be a witness to so many things," you said with newfound hope. Something clenched in Loki's chest as he watched your face lit up. It was a beautiful sight. 

"Looks like we have a plan." He offered you his arm. "But before we spit on tradition, how about we pay a little visit to our lovely corpse?" 

“Of course.”  He lets out a long breath.  “I know-…  I hope that Jane would want the same, were she in your position.”  He stands, signaling its time to leave.  You nod.

“I know she would.”  The sun is just starting the peek over the horizon. You grab your duffle bag, standing to follow.  The two of you walk out to the lawn, standing on the same spot Loki stood before he was taken from you weeks before.  Thor looked up, calling out to Heimdall, and for a moment, you second-guessed yourself. What were you doing?  How would the team react when you finally returned?  Would Loki even want to see you?  No matter what, it’s too late now.  Light engulfs the two of you as you’re taken to Asgard.  You follow Thor’s lead, stepping out to see a tall man standing in the middle of the room, covered in ornate gold armor.  

“He’ll know she’s here.” His voice booms in the room.  This must be Heimdall.

“He won’t,” Thor replies, already heading towards the bridge, “I assure you.”  You follow his pull, immediately getting lost in the place around you.  The bridge beneath your feet appears to be all glass, with rainbows shooting through an infinite sea of small fractals of- what, energy? Rainbows?  Magic?  Either way, it’s beautiful.  Especially in contrast to the dark space surrounding you.

But the city itself- that is a different view entirely.

A city of gold.

Massive towers and buildings surround a massive triangular palace.  Mountains fill in the background, and green trees fill in the gaps of the foreground.  Everything seems to sparkle in the bright light of the sunrise.  Thor must’ve noticed your gawking, since your pace dragged.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” He asked with a soft smile.  His demeanor seems more relaxed now.

“Very...  No wonder being sent to Midgard is a punishment.” Thor laughs.

“I assure you, Midgard is still beautiful, in its own way.”  You nod, but frankly, you don’t really agree.

As the two of you walk into Asgard and through the palace, Thor explains where Loki has been held.  He’s just been in a bedroom, rather than a cell, which is a relief to you.   He deserves to be treated better.  He seems content with his situation, but apparently he’s been… distant.  Maybe you can fix that.

You and Thor began to walk down the hallway where Loki’s current prison was.  Thor walked in front of you and greeted Loki long before you reached the door.  You didn’t see him, he must’ve been in a different part of the room.

“Hello, brother,” Thor said quietly, standing right in the doorway.  Two guards stood on either side of the cell, and some kind of gold film seemed to cover the doorway.  That must’ve been what was keeping him inside.  Thor waved off the guards, and they left the hallway, disappearing into some other part of the massive palace.

“Hello.”  You heard Loki walking, then stop.  You still couldn’t see him.  “How…”

“She’s fine.”  A pause.

“Did she… say anything?” Loki whispered.  Thor nodded.

“She wanted to tell you herself.”  Thor steps to the side, and you take a step forward.  You lock eyes with Loki.  He freezes as you practically run up to the doorway.

“Y/N, what… what are you doing here?”

“I needed to see you,” you reply softly, holding back tears.

Loki stands to one side of the doorway, his posture lacking the poise he normally carries.  His hair is long, much longer than you remember it being.  It’s messy and unstyled.  His clothes are casual, still green, still nice, but nowhere near the caliber of his typical outfits.  Frankly… he’s a mess.  His eyes are slightly glazed over as tears start to brim them, but suddenly his expression hardens.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said coolly.

“And neither should you.”

“I’m going to leave you two be.  Y/N?” You turn to Thor.  He nods.  “If you need anything, come find me in the common room.  One of the guards at the other end of the hall will escort you there.” You nod and whisper a ‘thank you’ before he walks away.

As you turn back to him, you see his eyes are on your necklace.  The one he left you.  The one you’ve worn every second of every day since he was taken.  You glance down at it, rolling the pearl between your fingers.

“I kept it…  I haven’t taken it off.”  He nods.  Your hand falls to your side.  “I know you don’t want to talk to me... I just...”  You take a deep breath, shifting your gaze to the shining floor.  “If you don’t want anything to do with me anymore, then I’d like you to tell me so.  Because it hurts...”  Another beat of silence.  “I love you, Loki.”  You look back up at him.  His expression has softened once more, a barely-there tear rolling down his cheek. “If you don’t...”  you stop, choking in the lump in your throat.  You really shouldn’t have come here.  Loki mumbles something as tears start to fall from your face.  “Hmm?”

“I do… I still love you.”

“Then…”  You sniffle, wiping a tear away from your cheek.  “Why would you…”

“I’m trying to keep you safe, Y/N, don’t you see that?”

“I know the battle in New York wasn’t you.  I can help you free yourself from him.  Here, let me in,” you add, reaching for the panel to try to bring down the barrier between you.

“No, no, It’s not just him. It’s…”  He sighs.  “I’m not Asgardian,” he whispers.  He lifts his hand and presses it to the barrier, reminding you of the first time you met Loki.  Confused, tired, unsure of who you are, and scared.  Now, you had a feeling Loki was in that same position.  You continued fiddling with the panel beside you, hoping to open it.

You place your hand on the golden film, overlapping his.  A soft golden glow emanates on the barrier from your touch.  

Finally, after all this time of waiting, it happened.  

Loki finally drops his illusion.  

A blue tint runs from his hand up to his neck, quickly covering the rest of his body.  His eyes turn a deep red as raised patterns appear on his skin.

He’s a Jotun.

His skin is chilled, but his hands are as soft as you rememb- wait, his skin?

Loki jerks his hand away, eyes wide in fear.  You deactivated the barrier.  You thought you couldn’t touch frost giants… but…

He turns and tries to rush away, but you reach out and grab his arm.  You step into the room and pull Loki into a hug.  

Slowly,

Hesitantly,

Loki reciprocates.

His arms wrap around you.

You both cry.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

You wake up to gentle scarlet light trickling in the windows of the golden bedroom.  You hear soft breathing from behind you and realize Loki’s arms are still wrapped around you, his skin back to its usual hue.  You turn around to meet Loki’s sleepy gaze, a soft smile seemingly ever-present on his lips.  One of his hands move up from the small of your back to the back of your head, laying your head on his chest.  You take a deep breath, his signature cologne filling your senses.  

You let your mind settle on the moments before you fell asleep like this.  You and Loki talked about, well, everything.  His pain of feeling like he lost his own identity and trying to find a new one; the struggle being under the control of some powerful being named Thanos; the guilt surrounding all he had done in anger and being controlled; even the blessing of meeting you.  You talked about parts of your life you had just remembered; how it felt to be one of the Avengers; how much you had already fallen in love with Asgard; how much you already loved him.  A pouring out between the two of you, heart to heart, person to person.  You met with Thor, who promised to go back to the compound to speak with Steve and Tony, letting them know that Loki can be trusted, and maybe, if Loki wanted to, he could help the team.  Thor went back to Midgard while you and Loki stayed back.  Drained, both physically and emotionally, you decided to get some sleep.  Just sleep- though, admittedly, you had hoped it would’ve been a little more.  Maybe next time.

And now here you were, tangled up with each other in bed.  “Did you sleep well, darling?”  Loki asked, his morning voice deep and raspy.

“Very.  You?”

“Oh, perfectly.  We should do this more often,” he said low with a smile.  You laughed and nodded.

“I’d like that.”

Eventually, the two of you got out of bed.  Loki put on his normal green and gold robes and armor, and some maids brought you a fine embroidered green Asgardian dress.  Though it seemed unnecessary, you wouldn’t complain.  It was gorgeous- it was made of a simple forest green fabric with olive green flowers stitched in from the hem to the collar.  Frilled sleeves danced around your wrists, and black tulle filled out the skirt to give you a ballgown silhouette.  You step out from behind the room divider, admiring the dress in the mirror.  The golden pearl necklace still hung around your neck.  Loki makes his way across the room to meet you, his hands wrapping around your waist and resting on your lower stomach.

“Beautiful,” he whispers in your ear.  You smile. So is he.  “We don’t leave for a while...” He waves off the handmaidens, who quietly leave the room and shut the door.  “How about we pass the time?”  He lifts his hand and the room turns to gold, lit only by candlelight and the sunrise.  He holds out his hand as an invisible orchestra fills the room.

“A dance?”

“Just until you can experience a real Asgardian ball.”  You nod, still smiling, and take his hand, and the two of you dance around the room in a gentle waltz.

You could’ve passed the whole day in there, with him, but everyone must wake up from their dream eventually.  A guard knocks at the door.  The music stops.

You take a deep breath.

You follow Thor away from the city of gold, crossing the bridge of magic and light.

Back to Midgard it is.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

The conversation that took place upon your return was not pleasant, to say the least.  There was lots of yelling and anger- Loki couldn’t even enter the room until hours later.  You reminded Steve and Tony why the interviews started in the first place, and they reminded you that falling in love was an unnecessary part of that plan.  The “deliberation” went on for days, but after heavy questioning, inane fighting, and long discussion… they agreed.

Loki is on the team.

The first mission? Taking out Thanos before he can do any more damage to the galaxy.  Thanks to Loki, you knew where to find him and how to take him out, and by the sound of it, he isn’t powerful enough to stop the entirety of the team.

You and Loki shared a room, since there “really aren’t any more,” according the Thor.  Loki seemed… nervous?  He sat on the bed, his elbows resting on his knees while his hands clasped together.  He had a blank stare.  

“You alright, love?” You sit beside him.  He nods, snapping out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”  He takes a deep breath.

“I know it can be scary to face him again-“

“What if he wins again? And I hurt someone?  What if I hurt you?”

“Loki,” you take his hands in yours as he turns his body to face you, “you’re going to be okay.  We’ll make sure nothing happens to you.  I promise.”  His hands lift up to hold your face, and his lips are against yours.  You’re surprised, yes, but honestly?  It’s about time.  Just as you settle into the kiss, he pulls away.

“Just in case,” he mutters. You shake your head, pulling him in for another kiss.  Deeper.  Longer.  Your fingers tangle in his hair, gently pulling.  A soft moan escapes his throat.  Noted.  His hand runs up your thigh, dangerously close.  You pull away, out of breath.

“We’re finishing this later. Promise?”  You hold out your pinky.  He smiles.

“I haven’t made one of these promises in decades…”  You lift an eyebrow, and a soft chuckle tumbles from his lips.  “Alright,” his pinky wraps around yours, “I promise.”

“Hey, games and illusions!” You both jump and turn to the door to see Tony, impatiently tapping on the doorframe.  “Hurry it up,” he urges, walking away.  “We’re heading in 5,” he called out as he left.

“Coming!”  You responded, giving Loki one last kiss on the cheek before standing up, grabbing his hand, and leading him to the ship loading dock.

At this point, you didn’t care about who you were before the Avengers, much less how long your work with the team would last.  Life hadn’t been kind to either of you.  There was no changing that.

The only thing that mattered now was that Loki was here.  Whatever life you would live now, you would be content with, as long as he was in it.

Besides, the universe had hell to pay.

_________________

(( And just like that, it’s finally done.  Sorry for the wait, I hope that maybe it was worth it?  At least for the sake of resolution, if nothing else.  Expect more Loki in the future tho :)  - C ))

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