Oh, trust me, I̵̛̙ ̶͈̕c̶͇̔a̷̜͐n̸͉̏.

You actually had no desire to be here. You’d rather be home, in bed, shutting out the world. It was your miserable attitude for the last few days that brought you here, in this audience, for a live show you had little interest in. Your friend had offered you their ticket, pushed it on you even.

“You’ll have a great time!”

“I don’t even know who that is!”

“You’ve never heard of him? Are you kidding? His radio show is so popular right now!”

“I dunno…I’d rather stay home. Didn’t you want to go?”

“You’ve been home for days! I’m worried about you. Please go. You’ll have a great time, I swear. Promise me you’ll go?”

“…okay. I promise.”

So, here you sat, alone in a crowd full of people. Your legs bounced with anxiety as everyone murmured in hushed excitement around you. Hunching your shoulders in an effort to get as small as possible, you hid your face in a cup of tea the staff had served moments before.

As you took a sip of the much needed warmth, you hear the crowd around you buzz with excitement as a man with brown hair and eyes, tanned skin, and a charming grin stretched across his face walks onto the stage. You lower your mug as you listen to him address the audience.

"Well, well, well, my dearest audience! A very good afternoon to all of you lovely souls! I must say, it is a delight, a true pleasure, to have such a fabulous crowd gathered here today—oh, the excitement! I can hardly contain myself!"

He bows and then spreads his arms wide when he stands back up. “Now, now, settle down! Allow me to introduce myself to those who do not know me. Although not knowing who I am by now is quite the feat, haha!”

You swear his eyes zero in on you, and your face burns with embarrassment. You try to hide your face behind your teacup again.

“My name is Alastor, and the majority of you know me from my radio broadcast.” He gives a little bow again, eyes flitting across the room before landing on you again. As if he knew you didn’t know of him. Not really. He broadens his grin to the crowd, twirling the microphone staff in his hands with the familiarity of someone who has done this hundreds of times.

“Now then, on with the show!

-

It was easy to see why people adored this man. Adorned in a tight fitted red satin vest and dark slacks, he easily captured the audience with songs and stories told in a velvety smooth voice. The charisma that radiated off of him had the audience hanging off his every word and tune.

Though you didn’t want to come in the first place, you found yourself dreading the end of this live in-person show. The very idea brought tears to your eyes as you thought of the empty lonely apartment that awaited you when it was over. To your horror, some tears raced down your cheeks, and you rush to rub them away from your cheeks in the middle of this public setting.

"This show, my friends, was about more than just entertainment! It's about the unforgettable moments that we created. The laughter, the drama, the wonder! The heart-pounding thrills that leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about good old-fashioned fun!"

Alastor’s energy was infectious, and you could feel the people around you just about squirming in their seats as the show drew to a close. “"Ahhh, my wonderful audience, how quickly the time slips away, doesn’t it? You know what they say, time flies when you’re having fun, haha!” He pauses briefly to allow the audience to laugh along with him. “The afternoon was filled with such delightful moments, such charming chaos, and yet—all good things must come to an end, I’m afraid. I do hope you’ll carry the memory with you—like a sweet little song you can’t quite shake, hm?" The crowd matches his suggestive grin as Alastor set the stage for his final piece for the afternoon.

You swallow thickly as his piercing eyes landed on you yet again. He gives you a little wink before starting in on his verse. “Hey pal, hey friend, hey buddy, why so sad, so downright unhappy?” Your heart stills in your chest at the words. He couldn’t be talking about you directly, could he? You follow his movements as he steps off the stage and into the crowd. The radio host moves closer to you, bending at the waist to sing inches from your face. “That's not my cup of tea.” Alastor’s grin widens as you flush. Straightening up, Alastor continues moving through the crowd.

“You know that this could be your last day here on Earth, so buddy please.” He turns, charming smile gracing his features. His eyes land on you once again, and he winks. “Won't you smile just for me?”

-

You really aren’t sure why you stayed long after everyone had filtered out. You tell yourself that its because the performance has you energized, that Alastor changed your outlook on the future, but honestly, its because you’re afraid to go home. Back to the sadness that seeps into your bones and makes you want to hide away all day.

You sigh, gathering your things and finally ready to trudge home when a voice stops you.

“My, my, still here after my show has long finished? I must have left quite the impression.”

Your startled gaze meets Alastor’s. You meant to be polite to this infamous radio host, but instead you blurt out, “What are you doing here?” Thankfully, Alastor laughs receptively to your question.

“I suppose that’s a fair question. I left something behind, and I didn’t want to worry my staff about collecting it so late after work hours. It was my own mistake, after all, silly me.”

You nod dumbly, unsure how to detangle yourself from this interaction. You clearly spend too long figuring this out because Alastor is already asking you another question.

“Is something troubling you, my dear?” The words are so unexpected, so jarring in this moment, that you felt tears spring to your eyes. You desperately scramble to hide your vulnerability.

“Ah...yeah. Why do you ask?”

Alastor tuts lightly, adjusting his bowtie briefly. “Come now, I’m very good at reading people, my dear. I can tell something is bothering you.”

His insistence in focusing on your distress causes a few tears to fall. You curse yourself for being so weak, for falling apart so quickly at a stranger’s concern as you hurriedly scrub the tears away.

To your surprise, his arms wrap around you and pull you close into his chest, as if he was sheltering you from the world from any danger. His warm embrace smelled of bergamot, leather, amber…and something you just couldn’t quite place. Something…earthy? Or maybe metallic? You’re pulled out of your thoughts as Alastor resumes speaking.

“My dear, my dear, no, you don't have to cry. That ain't a pretty legacy to leave behind.” You give him a watery smile as you recognize the lyrics from his earlier song.

“S-sorry,” you breathe out, stepping away from his hold. He waves you off.

“Nonsense, my dear, we all get out of sorts from time to time.” You nod in agreement, quick to end this social hell you’ve put yourself into. This man, so charming and kind, was trying to cheer you up, but here you were mute and near tears. Ridiculous.

Alastor lifts your chin suddenly, warm brown eyes behind wire bespectacles looking into yours. “You may not have to tell me about what’s running through your mind, dear, but perhaps I could offer you some sort of reprieve for a few moments? Let me show you the entertainment, the pleasures the world has to offer, hm?”

He offers his arm to you, and you hesitate just for a moment. The grin on his face is so kind, so eager to please, that you take the offer. “Excellent! Now, one more thing before we head off into our adventure together.”

“What’s that?”

He looks down at you, his height easily making you feel small before him. “Won’t you smile just for me?”

You give a tiny laugh. And you smile.

-

You just about forget all the things that have been worrying, stressing, and tugging you down into the depths of despair for the last few days. At least — for a little while. It was no wonder Alastor’s show was so popular. He had a way with showing you the magic in everything.

He walks you through parks and gardens, pointing out the beauty and weaving stories for you as you went. You barely pay attention to where you’re heading, and to be honest, you’re not sure you care right now. He made you feel safe, alive even. Like all the sadness had melted from your body.

"You know I just gotta say, that you might not have a lot of time to waste," he teased, pinching your cheek suddenly. "So lose that long face."

You bat at his hand, laughing, only to find a bright red rose in your face that Alastor had plucked straight from a bush. "Stop and smell the roses while you've got the time." He grins as you inhaled the lovely floral scent he offered you. "Pretty soon you'll be pushing up daisies where the sun don't shine."

You blink, startled by his words, but eventually laugh as you take it to be more teasing from the radio host. Or at the very least, some wisdom he's trying to impart on you about life.

Alastor laughs with you as he guides you onto a forest path.

-

You have no idea how long you have been walking. It feels like forever, and somehow, like no time at all. Alastor did a great job entertaining you through your entire journey, hands animatedly moving as he recounted stories of his life through the entertainment industry. You hang onto his every word, desperate for a distraction from your own life. Besides, how lucky were you to be spending time with such a celebrity? You'd have to thank your friend for the ticket they forced on you.

Deeper and deeper into the woods, you start to really enjoy the woodsy smells, the sounds of little animals and birds flitting about, and the rustle and crunch of leaves as you you both made your way through. You had long run out of the typical paths, exploring uncharted territory together.

"Oh ho! What's this?" You follow Alastor's gaze to a little wooden shack just ahead. You shift uneasily beside him, the sun setting causing shadows to cast an eerie air around the small hut.

"Ah...I dunno if we should head over there. What if some lunatic lives there?"

Alastor laughs loudly beside you, making you jump a little. "My dear! Where's your sense of adventure? Let's just take a little peek!" He looks to you, eyes searching, hopeful, but ultimately leaving the decision up to you. You felt your fear slip away at his expression, nodding your assent. He grins at you. "Fabulous, dear!"

He leads you up to the door, and you felt a sense of unease as the door easily swung inward with a gentle push from Alastor's hand. Still, trying to be brave and prove yourself worthy of the radio host's time, you follow suit with a big grin on your face.

It died just as quickly as it came about.

On the walls of the little hut were rows and rows of fixed smiles upon placards. Little name tags adorned the jawbones and teeth. Vox. Valentino. Husker. Anthony. So many names that made your head spin.

"W-what..." You choke on your words, bile rising in your throat. What the hell did you both stumble upon? "Alastor...let's get out of here!" The panic was evident in your voice as you turn to look at your new friend.

Your new friend who had his back to you, hands moving as he cleaned something.

Your new friend who turned, brandishing a newly cleaned axe, tossing a red stained towel to the ground.

Your new friend whose glasses glinted with the last of the light from the setting sun.

"Alastor?" you ask, voice strained, small, and full of fear.

He grins.

"Run."

-

Your lungs burn as your race your way through the trees, blinking back panicked tears. Only now you recognized all the warning signs you blissfully ignored in favor of temporary relief. The narrowing of his gaze during his performance. Tracking you through each set. Marking his target, who was obviously attending his show alone. Conveniently coming back when you were by yourself. The sharpness of his grin when you agreed to come along with him. The smell of blood on him. Or was it metal blades? Maybe the forest earth? Maybe it was all of them.

You had been so foolish.

You pant behind a tree as you try to force oxygen into your lungs, listening for your hunter. That's what he was after all, wasn't he? And you?

His prey.

You hear branches snap in the distance. Then some whistling. Humming even.

"None of us are here to stay, so treat every day like it's a holiday. Until the day you slip away." To your horror, you realize he's singing more of his song. He's taunting you. Telling you how he's had this planned since the beginning.

You start running again.

-

"Tsk, my dear, my dear, no, you don't have to cry."

You stare up at Alastor, frozen in fear, knees stinging from where you hit the ground. Your back was pressed up against a rock wall. Trapped.

"P-please. Don't hurt me." You swear you see his canines lengthen in his toothy grin as he advances toward you. He continues as if you weren't begging for your life before him.

"That ain't a pretty legacy to leave behind."

Your heart is beating erratically. It may give out before he even has a chance to hurt you. If you were so lucky.

But you both knew you weren't.

It was as if time slowed as you watched Alastor, the infamous celebrity, the radio host, the adored entertainer, raise the axe above his head. And for a brief moment, his eyes and hair seem to gleam red.

"Stop and smell the roses while you've got the time."

It was over quickly. A sharp pain. And then blackness. A mercy.

Alastor laughs, ignoring the sound of dogs in the distance as thrill thrums through his veins. He savored the blood pooling on the forest floor. Your smile was going to make an excellent new addition to his collection.

"Pretty soon you'll be pushing up daisies where the sun don't shine."

You didn’t mean for this to happen.

You swear.

It all started a few weeks ago, when you were eating your breakfast and couldn’t help but notice a certain someone pacing the lobby.

“You okay?” you asked tentatively, unsure of what mood the radio demon was in today.

His head snapped so forcefully toward you that you heard the bones in his neck crack. You wince.

“Why, of course!” Alastor’s voice was full of energy, but even you could hear the dangerous strained edge in them. Like he was holding himself back from absolutely destroying your damned soul. This would be a good time to make your exit.

But…you didn’t get into Hell because of your patience with dangerous men.

“What’s on your mind then?” You kept your voice light, your eyes following his movements back and forth across the floor. Even Alastor’s pacing felt threatening, like he was stalking prey rather than feeling stressed.

He looks at you, and for a moment, you think he will just deflect. He surprises you with the truth today, and you know he relishes the look of surprise that flits across your own face. Always one for entertainment. “I am just having some trouble coming up with a new story for my radio show, my dear. Nothing to worry about.”

Instantly, you’re interested. Alastor does not share much of his radio show aside from what is broadcast for all of Hell to listen to. “You write your own stories?”

He stills his pacing, staring at you. “Well, of course I do. In order to be irreplaceable, one must always come up with their own unique material.”

You both chat for a short while until you can see the subtle changes in your friend, signaling the release of at least some of the tension in his body. “What if, instead of a love drama this time…you do a friendship one?”

“Friendship?” he says doubtfully. “Would the listeners be able to enjoy the complexities and intricacies of friendship alone?” He hums, and you can hear a radio tune briefly mingling with his words. “Well, I suppose I’ve been catering to the more mundane for some time. Romance.” He moved his hands through the air, as if dismissing the thought. “Friendship. Betrayal. True passion! The greatest form of entertainment!”

You try hard to suppress a grin at the radio demon’s excitement. All he needed was a little push. A small prompt. That’s all.

“Maybe you could even write about a friendship gone wrong…you know..two driven individuals, working together to form their own little company…but something happens that drives them apart in the industry…and now it’s a battle between them to be the best in the field.”

Alastor processes your words. “Ah, ho! You seem to have a taste for the twistedly creative, my dear.” He pats your head. “Now! I must be off! Plenty of work to be done!”

You don’t hide your grin this time as he melts into the shadows.

-

It’s only a week or so later when you find yourself sitting in Vox’s office, waiting for him to get off work.

Yes, you were friends with both overlords, and it was no easy feat.

The constant squabbling and heckling often drove you insane. But, individually, you found that you enjoyed their company.

Most of the time, anyway. Not when you’re sitting here waiting for Vox to come out of his office. If he ever decided to grace you with his presence.

Finally, the door opens.

“Sorry, my dear, I got…wrapped up in something.” You look up. There are sparks flying out of his claws, and his screen glitches very briefly.

“Everything okay?” you ask, already knowing its not and bracing yourself for a rant.

And indeed it comes.

You listen as Vox complains about the ratings of several of his shows spiraling. How he needs to come up with some new ideas quickly before next week but every idea has already been done with the mass production at VoxTech. How the viewers are hungry for something new, something different.

There’s a feeling in your brain. An itch. You’ve solved this problem before, didn’t you?

“Well…the majority of your shows are romance based…why not do something on friendship?”

“Friendship?” Vox looks at you skeptically. You smirk and give him the same pitch you gave Alastor.

“I dunno…the majority of viewers are looking for the stories to end in sex.”

God, you really shouldn’t. But…it was just a prompt. A teenie nudge.

You look him square in the eye. “So can your new story.”

-

So, now you are running.

Shadows swirl across the alley ways, and you can see VoxTech security cameras swinging to face you as you run.

You really, really, didn’t mean to.

Both Alastor’s radio story and Vox’s new show were big hits. They glowed in the reviews as two entertainers tend to do. For weeks, they both tried to out shine the other with their complex stories. Both storylines were the talk of Hell. Everything was great.

Until Angel brought up to Alastor how similar the radio story was to Alastor’s and Vox’s relationship.

Until Val asked Vox if he was secretly dating the radio demon.

Both overlords fought constantly. Everyone knew that. But now, you’ve discovered something decidedly much worse.

You race into an alley, only to find yourself facing a brick wall.

“Now, my dear…let’s have a talk.” The voice was staticky and you almost didn’t understand it.

You turn slowly, mouth dry and heart pounding.

“Oh yes, a talk,” came a different glitched out sound. The voice sounded like it was coming from all around you.

You face the long shadow with red eyes standing at the end of the alley beside pops of electricity and a burning bright screen. United as one front.

Today had just been the absolute worst.

One thing after the other, nothing positive, and only frustrating obstacles kept you from going about your day. You knew it was supposed to be Hell…well..in Hell..but come on.

It was no surprise to you that by the end of the day, you were in tears. You stayed in the lobby long after Husker had shut down the bar and turned in for the night, arms wrapped around your legs, and face buried in your knees. You knew that when you’ve reached your max frustration tolerance like this, you’d be unable to sleep without spurring on some sort of panic attack.

So, here you were, alone in the dark as the residents of the hotel slept on.

Or so you thought.

“My, I didn’t expect to see such a miserable display this late at night, my dear,” came a voice full of cheer that your mood did not match.

“Go away, Alastor.”

The air filled with brief audience gasps, altered by his usual radio filter, mocking you. “Now, is that any way to treat a concerned friend?”

You raise your head enough to glare at his grinning face. “Is that what you are?”

You can hear him tut as he bends at the waist to look you over. “Such fire. Something on your mind, my dear?”

You don’t answer. You didn’t feel like talking about your day, and you weren’t completely sure he wouldn’t mock you for the things that upset you. After all, you had only moved into this hotel last week and hadn’t spoken with him much since then.

There’s a surprising brief silence from the radio demon before he speaks. “Very well. Come along.”

You look up, startled. “Where?”

“Good things come to those who wait. Up you get.” Alastor pulls you up with ease before you have a second to process his words. He’s already leading you to the couch. “Sit,” he orders, before moving to a piano you had figured was for decoration until now.

You sit obediently, mostly out of curiosity than anything. You watch as the radio demon takes a seat and begins playing a gentle jazz melody. The music is soft, soothing, and you find your eyes closing before you have a chance to ask what he’s doing.

Alastor’s fingers dance expertly on the keys as you fall into peaceful sleep. His watchful eyes never leave you despite ceasing the music when he was sure you were soundly asleep for the night.

It was absolute chaos.

You had no idea what was going on. There’s screaming. There’s broken glass. Needles. Questionable liquids all around you.

And you had no idea where you were or how you got here.

You stand, unsteady on your feet in the alleyway you find yourself in. What is this place? Your head throbs with more than just panic.

Just as you’re scrambling to piece together your last memories before this moment, a voice jumps through the mayhem.

“Hello there! Are you new?!”

Is she talking to me? Before you had a chance to open your mouth, the girl with wide shining eyes and long blonde hair is already shaking your hand vigorously. “Hi! I’m Charlie!”

“Uhm…hi,” you offer. Damn, was that your voice?

Charlie is already on her next sentences, blasting by your disorientation with sentences punctuated by squeals of excitement. You only manage to digest the words “hotel” and “redemption” and “hell” before she’s dragging you off.

“Hell?” you echo back blankly as you swerve to avoid a pool of red liquid.

“Oh, yeah. That’s where we are. It may take a little for you remember why you’re down here. It’s not so bad.”

You watch as a man is thrown into a brick wall beside you, staring.

Charlie laughs sheepishly, clearing her throat as she pulls you in front of a large building. “Anyways, my plan will help you get where you wanna go!”

“Haz..bin Hotel?” Your eyebrows are furrowed, not sold.

Charlie grins, and you swear she looks manic. “Well I wanted to call it the Happy Hotel, but Alastor though it would be more entertaining to call it the Hazbin Hotel. It’s grown on me, I've gotta say. Anyways, your room would be free! You just have to participate in our redemption program. Whaddya say?”

You stare up at the hotel with doubtful eyes. Should you lodge in a place with the very first person you met in…hell? You hear screams as a car explodes a distance away. You pull your gaze from the building to Charlie, who is so eager that she’s nearly vibrating beside you. Her excitement distracts you from a shadow slinking nearby, its eyes focused on you.

You sigh and give Charlie a small smile. At the very least, you’d have a place to stay for free while you get your bearings.