#lohawk

" Been a while since we did one of these.. but. You know the drill man! This is your first interview, yeah? Want to explain why and where you’re from? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) Besides trolling the hell out of tags with Viedimadr? *grins* Ah, mostly that’s keeping the core element I guess. Most Bartons are the quintessential superhero, at least in the range of having that alter-ego. Might not wear a mask ‘til Ronin in the MCU? But --and especially with how my character works pre-Avengers; sharing past the job isn’t exactly any of our fortes? We have a family to protect, and if you do the math of how old the kids are even in Ultron: that family has been a thing since before we take the higher ground up out of the paid-SHIELD-killer status I’m in that Nat does mention in the original Avengers. Also usually save it up between the pages and occasional poke into tags and skits here on the dash.

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) As for where I’m from! *he leans back and hooks his hands behind his head* We’re Universe Fourteen; two doors on the left down the connecting Vestibule from Lisan’s Universe, and one to right of the Ego-centrics with Grey Knight and Leadsprite. Ours starts out different in the respect that, Fury ends up getting the Scepter tap instead of me; and the resulting conflict goes very differently.

“ Such as? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) We never even hit New York; Fury tries to snag me in, and under the Stone’s influence that means trying to at best grab my kids since he’s one of the only two people attached who know about them. Loki ends up breaking form and getting in the middle of that. Yanks us off world and out of Fury’s sight, with the goods. That’s where we picked up with our first published bit ‘The Warming Stone’ anyways.

” Speaking of.. what do you think about the split from the original timeline? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) I’m having a lot of fun with it myself. And I’m pretty sure Laura is somewhere outside the room clapping in agreement; she’s quieter than most but a constant presence and; she and Lo get along real well. Anyway. End up dealing with that whole ‘the city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots; and I have a bow and arrow’ overwhelmed mentality a lot sooner because of it? I like the existential twists that come with the Dark Fairy Tale elements and whatnot that get thrown out there and right into our faces pretty much immediately, what with running face-first, on foot, into Jotunheim of all places through that doorway in Illinois. We did some collabs with the other guys that run through there, on top of the research and expanded on some of the wildlife ourselves to manage that? So that was some actual fun. This side of the pool I can absolutely admit us Bartons are a bit masochistic? *laughs* I am pretty sure we enjoy exploring those bits and how we’d react to them. I’m no different in that respect. I mean.. how would you react to being a dinner sized meal for labrador-to-great-dane sized snow-caterpillars with the elongated teeth of freakin shark? Or finding out the hard way there’s giant predator owls flying around about the size of a plane that eat those, just as an example? Never mind trolls, or frost giants, or anything else that manages to survive in that kind of insane climate and might decide to try and eat you just to see if you taste good.

” Probably stay inside forever if I was going to be honest? XD Anyway, Is there anything you’d change about your current story? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) Considering we’re still building back there? Not yet. I mean, too much fun so far. I mean we’ve done what.. four parts at this point? All during what we’re currently calling the Traveler Phase from Earth to Asgard through the doors between Illinois, Jotunheim, and Vanaheim. Which is interesting in itself. I mean whole other world, and things are shaken up before we even get there and (in part because of the fact that) we end up dependent on our Loki pretty fast. I think maybe my only change there would be in maybe doing another part for Extras that includes ‘Ogre’ .. who hasn’t even shown yet at that point in the story. He’s our Bruce Banner; or more specifically our Hulk? Thing is finding a space that won’t interfere too heavily with the book when we do it though. We could excuse the bits in the Traveler Phase because we intended to shorten it when we got there anyway; maybe cut straight to Asgard with that as a supplemental extra; a lot like the GROUNDED kids did with their out-takes featured in the same platovember series.

“ I imagine messing with Universe Three’s next installment’s been helping that along? “

    Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  Oh yeah, definitely. That mirror of Bruce’s is pretty similar in mindset and approach.

” That said, do I have to ask if there’s anyone in particular you like to watch or get into reading over their shoulder when they’re at it? “

    Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) Oh definitely The Bean right now, for sure? But there’s a list.. *grins* GROUNDED and DREAMS being woven together finally, especially with  some of the inter-universal roles being brought up is a big one. Looking forward to whipping out that sword.. heh. Though, watching the ESCAPE kids from the other forming Vestibule has been an interesting ride now that they’re not entirely cloistered in Tuscon, or their hotel room. I know what’s up there outside of Traverse too, which helps. And there’s Josh. I think everyone’s been waiting for that fireball to explode across the page? The fact Tony, Lo and Fury managed to somehow make that nutcase all on their own with just a few lines still makes me laugh. Walsh is a character and a half. I’m looking forward to getting my chance at screwing with his mirror in our Door. Leigh is a weird bit of fun too, but Josh is definitely one of those at the top of the list, and who you chose for a face in close rep, is interesting. Maybe Vix too as far as characters go? But he’d a little lower down for me at the moment.

“ Stab, stab pull..? Heh. Which is your favorite upcoming group from the books/portions of Mixology aka the Lokiverse at large? And which are you most curious about? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  Ha! yeah; stab-stab, pull. Loxley’s got an interesting bunch next door. *rubs his hands up over the top of his head and back down* Honestly, MONSTERS and ASHES. Ah, that’s Door and or Universes Three and Twelve for those that don’t know. Three has a similar bonding mechanic between Bruce and Lo I’ve been interested in, while ASHES hits on other things, including a rockier relationship and overall dynamic between his Bartons and Redbird (that’s his Quill) that tends to go dark in the personal aspects a lot. I guess I like that struggle between them, personally. Loxley brushes something similar going on post-Ronin with his family dynamic with his internals and his Lo’s concerns for that; but I think Lili and his crew hit that at a whole other angle from around five years prior on? With, a whole other take on the family dynamic that Laura and I have with Lo by the time we leave Asgard. And that’s curious to me.

” I put you guys through a lot of shit in the name of storytelling. Any parts you have complaints about? “ 

   Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) None, planned or otherwise.

“ ..that was fast. “

   Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  What can I say? I enjoy the twisty shit, at least on this end of the pool. Ignoring the reservations, and dealing with the danger-fear of getting hurt in ways that can’t be fixed with stitches or band-aids, of accepting that kind of bond knowing how it started and risking the idea that finding out why might not make that danger less or that person better or more relatable than perceived to be able to accept them farther even after that investment?

  Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) The contradiction of pride and ego versus conscience and the guilt when it belongs there getting in the way -and even dealing with when it should be toned down that results in having one,  even if it’s just a sliver in places and playing that out along with dipping into places mostly ignored or washed over in the Universes; is interesting and fun to me. Danger included. I have a little less guilt than my mirrors in a lot of directions that gets placed elsewhere after we come back to Earth; and I enjoy that dynamic and what we’re trying to explore there. That whole; ‘what if he was loyal, without he stone’s influence’ aspect, in our own flavor is a LOT of fun to play with. It’s a very different Universe, but holds hints and background pieces, and similarities enough, as well as the core; that it’s a feasable alternative to the canon line. Which is extra fun, for the personal aspects or ‘humanity’ we manage in the process? So no.. no complaints. Not yet anyways.. heh. We’ll see how I feel when you start actually touching actual, hands-on Gagnarok fixes and alternates though. Outside of that Cosmic-FrostIron bitty from a few doors down anyway. That’s gonna be a mess.

  “ Whee.. yeah. MONSTERS gets that honor first, most likely.. “

  Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  Good. Bean can handle that best, I think... or maybe worst. Either way it’s gonna be entertaining for me..

For those interested, Cuyler’s published stories are found below in chronological order (they were posted out of order in part because of the prompts themselves and some parts were planned ahead to take certain slots.) The title names are the links to each part.

The Warming Stone (part 1)

Fathers (part 4)

The Hart (part 2)

Heyos again!

I don’t do this often (if at all) but after the third note et cetera in the past week  asking me what MY favorite sections or scenes were to write or even read were in my own stuff, I figured maybe I should start sharing some of them?

It’s probably the most common question I’ve been asked since I started posting Mixology.. and I thought: eh, why not? I’m already posting the occasional teaser anywho.

The one that came immediately to mind was the morning after scene in chapter three. Clint busts into my head pretty clearly with moments like that especially, and the muse didn’t disappoint me at all there. So much so that re-reading it later to edit, while it needed a few more obvious typo corrections? I didn’t change a thing otherwise, unlike some other sections where I would have to rethink the phrasing and arrangement of whole paragraphs after feeling the itch of ‘that isn’t quite right.’

In short, even in draft form; that whole section came out instantly exactly the way it should have, minus the occasional typo here and there.

I thought, while working on DREAMS as main focus at the moment? Choosing one of those that came from Book One was fitting too. So..

Enjoy! Love,

                 ~~--LK aka blind

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                                  It was funny, how a good, solid rest could put distance on a few hours; bring them into perspective.

             -The bed’s still warm.-

  Clint had never really thought of this space as his room. No, that wasn’t true. The farm was home, but along the way the spartan curved twelve by twenty was definitely his too. Well, maybe more Eur-asian than spartan in the most literal sense. Minimalist, compared to the clutter of trying to rebuild his life with half the foundations in place that was waiting for him back in Missouri. All his influences were there. Russian, heavy Japanese blended easily with China’s influences in little things, a touch of the middle-east in the bedding and rugs he’d brought home ages ago. All it was missing was the fam; but then they hadn’t been represented in anything but reasoning work related at all until very recently. He hadn't liked the idea of leaving clues lying around, either. In the morning after, he wondered how many of those things represented had been colored by the man who’d left his bed what, maybe an hour ago?

  --I can still smell him. Who am I kidding. Eleven.. Twelve years, and that scent and the memories that are supposed to go with it have been haunting me, scratching its way under my skin day and night; pounding and seeping its way up through the cellar door no matter what I try to stop it. Slinking back and holding it fast when I try to pry it open.--

  And he was tired of fighting himself. The disagreement of faith and desire and need to get that door open. He knew better didn’t he? There would be bad things. Of course there would. People had died. He’d helped that along. That wasn’t what he was afraid of though, was it. That wasn’t what really held the door down. It was things like how those eyes lit up when he laughed. How he was starting to see the differences, and the struggle Loki was having trying to keep up his armor and not to give him too much of that, too many real smiles.. and apparently failing at it. How he didn’t reach with his hands first with anyone but Agana, but Clint was one of the few he seemed to want to touch regardless.

                  -Fresh lilacs.-

His head turned under the lay of his knuckles across his forehead in the too-white sun brightened room, sheets still half tangled below the knee and over his hips where that mischievous man had left them when he’d stole off out from between them. The evidence of where they’d ended up was scattered around and over the chabudai and zabuton: the taller vase they’d pushed the branches of the lilacs into on one side. That vest of his looked like it actually fit in this setting, removed and simply tossed over the corner closest to the bed. Now that he thought about it, the fit on him was different, but it more closely resembled a sleeveless Haori than anything else he’d seen. Maybe the sleeveless outerwear he’d seen in Tibet, but he never remembered the names for that kind of thing.

The ride had been freeing. Fun. Even a little bit of trouble when they’d been zipping across the actual roads along those woodland paths. He’d had fun, though the darker male had spooked him a bit turning his headlight off about ten minutes in. They’d paused a moment with that, and Clint had been given that smile in the dim backward lamplight from his own. “ Reminder: I’m  adopted  Asgardian; Barton. My eyes work differently. The night is an  old  ,  beloved  friend. The dark night, a  carefree and welcoming brother  . “

   He’d gotten a warming kiss then, “  Follow me, and you’ll start to remember him.  “ -------------------====== DREAMS from Chapter One:https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248328/chapters/45772732

SUMMARY: Facing off with the reality of what might be going on with Peter's eyes; and the potential consequences they could have, the fam are confronted with more bad timing: on more than one front.

Clint manages to talk Loki into telling him what else has been weighing in, and gets a boot to the gut he didn't expect. Is hiding this from Pete really a good idea?

Meanwhile; Peter is, in fact, doing his best to deal with his problems and not add to Clint and Loki's load. Surprisingly, the one person he expected to speak up first is the last. And.. not quite in the way he expected.As things lull out in the limbo between little skirmishes leading up to the big fight; the pressure is on for everyone to pull together and get themselves on the same wavelength..

---------------------======

READ FROM THE BEGINNING HERE:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248328/chapters/45772732

OR, FROM DIRECTLY FROM CHAPTER 10, HERE:

Okay, so two things related to this image!

1. I did not paint this piece, but ugh I couldn’t find who did and I wanna know! If you know who threw this out into the world and if they’re still around? Unf and I would really like to know so I can send them love and maybe throw them money with number two in mind.

2. Shameless LoHawk / FrostHawk / StarGod / HawkLord MCU fanfic novella series plug (link below and currently at chapter 7), and I would give a thumb or two to find and get some art from this painter for it if they’re willing. Just gotta find them, cause I love their style and at the least would dance in my chair to see more. Yeah, I started writing them again after Endgame, and am actually trying publishing them again on Archive of our Own.

 Why Loki? Because I’ve always been a fan. Because Hiddleston brought his scripts to amazing, beautiful life. Because I’m Pansexual, and anyone who knows and understands anything about that character in the comics or otherwise even without that (yes even in mythology he very plainly did not discriminate, or keep even his own body to one gender!) can cheer for, smile at and lets face it, drool over such an amazing, progressive character.

   Love the LoHawk pairing, from waaaay back when it was called that and not FrostHawk. So many dynamics there. Even more so now that Endgame and Ragnarok are over and we have most of the facts Loki did during the original Avengers.

And StarGod? Peter Quill, the dude whose ending line in the first movie was asking ‘Something good? Something bad? A little of both?’ and the God of Mischief? Dude, SO many fun and hilarious missed opportunities there picking up the blond brother.

Clint? Dude fits. Smarter than he’s often given credit for. Smart ass, but passionately grounded, determined and loyal. Probably the other most human character in the MCU, right up there next to Loki.

Anyway. Link. Read it if you wanna, is somewhat slow paced on purpose and less smut than story (though yeah, there’s definitely some in there. As the running gag and reminder in the fic goes; God of.. -what-? Of course that carries over! >:D) I would appreciate comments and opinions on the fic if you do. Seeing suggestions and support always motivates me.

As always, much <3

LoHawk Pt 02 - BOOK ONE - Chapter One : Cue the Music!

                                 ((still looking for this awesome artist!))

SUMMARY: Finally on Lua after what to Peter feels like much delay, he and some of the Asgardians especially catch glimpses of the very personal reasons why coming to Mare Nectaris is a sensitive thing, during the tour. And, some of the clinging reasons as to why the words he once shouted at his brother during their confrontation on the Bifrost years ago remain true today. 

Clint manages to take a moment, breathe;and take a grateful look back: as well as appreciate what they have in the present with both the family he chose and the family that chose him. Some things are bothering him still though.Like why the Grandwitches still haven't shown their faces. Like the Fae and the surreal feel it sets off.Like that door that keeps opening seemingly on it's own, when there's nobody on the other side.

Meanwhile, Peter comes to realize he may have to step up and accept some of the facts the boys have been helping him bubble from to heal;as Rin and her dad explain and give a glimpse just how big and how much attention they have from the Ravager side of the story.Add Gamora and the other Guardians coming home around the same time, the fact his eyes are still doing their weird thing -and- then there's that door.

Loki knows who's on the other side,who keeps opening it: and ends up very glad he and Stephen are on better terms; because this is one of those things in his realm hard to explain. READ FROM THE BEGINNING:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248328/chapters/45772732

OR READ RIGHT FROM CHAPTER 9: 

Again! Looking for this artist! Please, if you know who painted this one? I would very much like to get a hold of them; and possibly commission more.

ALSO, is Thursday: which means a new chapter for DREAMS tonight!

Expect it.

READ DREAMS HERE:

                                     ((still looking for this artist!))

 -----Pre-notes, note and clue: If you close your eyes and listen to Ed Sheeran’s song by the same name as the chapter title: you’ll get an idea for this chapter’s theme.

----==BONUS TRACK - Loki (Love Letters)

The debate didn’t even last a second in his head.

He wanted to know what they had been talking about; so he was half sliding from the bed, coming around Peter’s feet to slip-step sideways on his haunches between their knees and snag the wire-bound little stack of paper. A hasty but silent retreat and he was fast out the door with a near devilish smile as he flipped it back and started for the kitchen with every intent of starting up some coffee and breakfast when he noted the time. Loki was halfway down  the stairs, when the first few lines started to slow his steps.

   And then stopped them entirely, nearly made him sit down right there; when he realized with the longer, second scroll of graphite across the paper just what, and  who  they  had been talking about. He did sit, when he re-read those words again; unable to turn the page right away as they hit him, hard in the throat and low in the gut.

He instantly knew, he wanted to keep this. Reading it a third time, he finally turned the page: and read more.

‘Gam..    my   Gamora; she was the same way. Probably a lot angrier about it though? That was her general default already when I met her. Chip on her shoulder. Lots of pride, and none of it for who raised her; but plenty for who she made herself into regardless. Good reason to, when you look at who it was that did. I’d have gone a little crazy -- okay, I did, a little: when my old man let slip he actually put the tumor that killed her in my mom’s head. I’m sorry you had to go through that, if I haven’t said it. I know how that goes. I had to watch mom go through all the stages.’

Another little page, he kept reading. This was something, a set of details Quill hadn’t told him.  Not outright, not in this detail.

‘Right up to the night she died. I was a kid, and couldn’t take it. I ran, and I never got to see her off. Then he said that, and I just imploded. Shot him seventeen times. Six seconds. Wasn’t enough. Not to kill him, and not to finish off what rage I had either. Neither was what followed. Not for the rage anyway. Not really. But for all that; for all the tiny parts that feel dirty just still having the tiniest wish he could have been different? I don’t think I could have been raised by him knowing what he’d done, like she was: and come out as put together as she was. She had trust issues, yeah and go fig. We had a hard time getting to being a real us because of that, and because I knew it and had a hard time figuring out how to go at it without spooking her. Well, ha;   and  because I’m a flirt with big appetites who tends to jump in head first and figure out how to make the messes I get myself in, to work after: somehow.’

That last part made him smile a bit as he turned the page; and kept reading; a pause to listen for movement, a glance up the steps because Loki knew even first thing in the morning, Clint could be as deadly silent as he himself was if he wanted to be.

‘But she knew that too; and would dance with me anyway, when no one else was looking. Or no one else was around, and work at it. Step by step. Song by song. Oh we’d argue. A lot.    A lot!!!    But we always figured it out, sometimes because we did argue.. If that makes sense?’

‘Heh. I get that. Laura and I fought a lot in the beginning too; even before we were married. She knew early on I was bisexual. Our second meeting? Was me coming out of a hotel she was staying at with the then on again off again bed partner making his escape in the background. Made for a funny conversation but; she was way cooler about it than I thought she might have been. He wasn’t in the picture the next time we met, and we were good those first few months after.’

Loki remembered this conversation, though it was different in text than in word. Clint been a little short with him, when he’d explained it, but in a different way. More words, but a little less trust at the beginning; something that, by the end, Loki had been given on the subject: when Clint had seen not only the lack of judgement, but the near eagerness to know more about him. He read on.

‘But she had a hard time when it came up, understanding how that end of my life worked and where she might fit in it. Wrapping her head around the fact I was still figuring some of that out for myself, back then: but not where   she   was concerned. I was still a bit of a mess when we met, but I knew she was different for me; where they weren’t. She did figure it out though, eventually and lucky me. Maybe faster than I did in some ways. Sometimes I just ..needed to try and find whatever was missing there, for me. She wasn’t it. I was happy with her. With the kids, but .. well, that gap, I mentioned. Didn’t find what I needed to fill it for a long time. Not until Lau. And I never expected to find him where I did. He surprised the hell out of me.’

‘How did you know?’

Another blue ruled line. ‘I mean; not just about him. About.. You know.’

‘Liking men too, and the difference between him and the rest?’

‘Yeah.’

There were several little grey dots to one side of that last penned entry. Like Clint had tapped it a few times. Loki could almost see him thinking about it; probably that narrowed look at the paper, or his own knees. He did that sometimes. Sometimes the trickster loved it, others it could be frustrating; but in the end he admitted still: that the thoughtfulness he put in behind his answers when it came to things like this still made him smile. ‘I'm still sort of figuring us out, with the gaps. But I see him; enough of him and his affect on me to know this is worth keeping, whether I get it all back or not. We fit. I love him. Sometimes, that and the willingness to stick through the painful bits and arguments along with the good parts are all you need. Hell. They're the biggest part, really. Don't think I need to tell you that. Gender aside, the ones that can really bail on you when the going gets tough, aren't worth holding onto when it comes to much of anything. As for the general.. I think maybe I always did; and I just never really thought to explore or show it? I mean.. Look where we both grew up, and when; and how that kind of thing was viewed in those kinds of little communities back then. Don’t even get me started on how my old man would have reacted if he’d lived long enough to see the signs himself.’

‘Look on your face says you belong to the same club as me and Loki?’

‘?’

‘Which club?’

‘The ‘my dad was pretty much a waste of breath’, club.’

‘Yeah, definitely on that train.’

‘He’s why I was so damned mad at myself hitting Lau like that; even if it didn't hurt him physically. Why I asked you to deck me, if I tried again. He was the worst kind of alcoholic. Used to beat the hell out of me and my little brother when we were younger. Mom too, when ever she got between him and us. And she did that a lot, when we were still too small and not fast enough yet to run and get out of his reach, and he didn’t have more booze money. Also why I don’t drink. Much, if at all. Your dad killed your mom with a magic tumor. Mine killed himself and my mother with an emptied set of bottles left behind on the bar top, and the insistence he get behind the wheel of that piece of shit Le Baron after she’d peeled him off smacking me around and sprung for said bar run to keep him off for the night.’

   ‘Told myself early on I wouldn’t be him. Following that’s what drove me into what I do. Trying to be better. Aiming to be what he wasn't. But sometimes, I wonder if I didn’t get his shit temper anyway.’

‘I dunno. I’m pretty infuriating, or so I’m told. And you didn’t swing at me. You do good by your kids, that much I can tell. Can tell it’s been a stressful ride for you too. Honestly, just Loki's end would have driven me to swing at someone: never mind the frustration of yours. Doesn't make who you ended up hitting any more excusable! But isn't any less true.’

‘You still threatened to put me in a wheelchair.’

‘Yep. Would again too, if it meant you’d still get or keep your head on straight. We talked a lot that night. A lot about things that had nothing to do with what we intended to. He couldn’t go more than twenty minutes without mentioning you, and anybody what’s been hurt by someone they love could see the reason why he was so down? Was because he’s crazy about you. Disappointed and beating himself up more over what he did than you   ever   could. Doesn’t make it right, but by comparison; he didn’t feel that punch so much as he felt what was behind it?’

‘I know. I figured that out after. It’s the part of me that took that long to piece, that pisses me off about it still. Don’t let me do that again. I dunno how he does it, but he usually has to make a conscious effort to make it so we don’t break more bones when someone not as physically durable as they are comes at them earnestly; but. That doesn't mean I want him using it as an excuse not to smack me back if he's not confident in being fast enough about it. If you're watching though? I feel .. more in check? ’

‘I didn’t even know that was possible. Aren’t their muscles alone like .. I dunno. Gamora said it was like some kind of alloy or fiber or something.’

‘Far as I can tell, yeah. Asgardian durability and strength is up there. Though it varies. I’ve seen him bounce bullets off ’

‘ What? Is this a kink thing like the porn theatre, cause I never thought of using a gu___’ Loki snorted a little at where that word had literally been drawn right off the edge of the page. Clint had probably grabbed his hand.

‘No. It’s not a - I don’t even know what to say to even the idea of that, shut up...’

.-=][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][=-.

---The only bad thing about tumblr posting is; you miss out on the emphasis on certain words and phrases that things like italics help you read with better emotive understanding. There’s a lot more to this. I’ll be posting one more teaser for Photograph before I stop spamming you poor bastards til Chapter 8.

Read from the beginning and more here: