#loganbennet

'I lived. Others died.

I lived, yet I feel dead.'

-

'Jake was right. Logan never would have chosen me.

He just proved it.

He didn’t even ask.

He keeps me in his lap as he loads us into the backseat.'

'He holds me tighter, but I pretend I’m still asleep.'

'I love you,” she says, though it’s the confession of a sleeping girl.

My core still tightens, and my body feels like electric wires are coursing over the top of my skin.

Leaning down, I kiss her cheek, smiling as she sighs. And even though I’d rather stay awake and keep my eyes on her all night, the long days finally catch up to me, and I fall asleep with her in my arms.'

'If you’re trying to break up with me after I just survived the Boogeyman, I may kick your ass.'

'I stand and throw my arms around his neck, dragging him down for a kiss. He holds me to him, his touch so demanding and strong. I love being in his arms, feeling that security that exists within a simple embrace.'

'You’re so confusing, and I stupidly think you really do love him.”

“I do love him,” I tell her on a long sigh.

“Nice to know.'

'Her words thankfully die when Logan grabs me at the waist and pulls me to him, crushing his lips to mine. I almost climb up him, making it easier to kiss him without so many tiptoes and bending getting involved. Hadley makes a strangled sound, and I kiss Logan harder to distract him from the leaky sink she is.

No wonder the Boogeyman duct taped her mouth shut.

“Right,” Hadley says as Logan continues kissing me. “I’ll just go now.”

He doesn’t even acknowledge her as he kisses me harder, pushing me back against the window that overlooks the city. My mouth stays fused to his, needing this so much after the week of little face-to-face time.

“I’ve fucking missed you,” he says against my lips, still kissing me stupid.

I can’t even respond, because he doesn’t let me break my mouth apart to reciprocate. Instead, he starts tugging my pants down, pushing me harder against the glass.'

'My fingers find their happy place, digging into his hair, and I shudder in anticipation when he shoves my pants to the floor. Roughly, he breaks the kiss to tear my shirt over my head, as though he’s in a hurry to get me as naked as possible.

“I missed you too,” I say while I have the chance, but he’s all serious, and that heated gaze could scorch a lesser prepared woman.

He strips out of his clothes as I toss away my bra and shimmy out of my underwear. In the time it takes me to do that, he’s fully naked and lifting me so fast my breath catches.

My back hits the glass, and my legs go around his shoulders. My eyes screw shut when he puts his face right where I want it, and he latches on to that bundle of nerves he knows how to manipulate too well.

He’s more aggressive than usual, almost as though he’s punishing me, taking no mercy on me when I whimper and squirm and try to make him bald with my hold on his hair.

My head falls back against the glass as I cry out, already lost 'it up so he can thrust in forcefully.

It feels too good, and he bends, kissing my neck with just as much roughness as he’s taking my body. “You should have told me first,” he says, giving me insight as to why this feels like an incredible punishment fuck.

If these are the repercussions of disappointing him, I’ll never be good again.

It’d be nice if this is how he punishes me when or if he ever finds out who I really am.

I hope that day never comes. I’d rather not know what he chooses.

I push my hands harder against the window, and he keeps me lifted from behind so he can control every second of being inside me. He doesn’t stop until I’m crying out, and his hips thrust in hard one last time before he rocks in a slow circle, his breaths labored as he bends over, resting his forehead on my shoulder. He’s still holding me in place, and I grin against the window.'

'You can’t stay gone that long again. You’ve only been in town one day this week,” he says, kissing the column of my throat, running his hands over my body.

“If this is the reward I get, I may not be able to help myself,” I quip, smiling when he releases a rumble of laughter.'

'Grinning like a girl, I rush into the shower. But as soon as I step under the spray, Logan is climbing in with me, his lips finding mine as he pushes me against the wall.

“We can go out tomorrow,” I murmur against his lips, feeling him grin as he slides inside me again.

Just as he starts a steady rhythm, his lips break apart from mine, and he starts kissing his way to my ear.

“I love you too, Lana Myers,” he says so softly.

And in that moment, I’m completely his. There’s no revenge; there are no deaths staining my hands. I’m just a girl in love with a man who’s destined to hate me when he learns the truth.

And it’s devastatingly tragic; more so than any Shakespearian play ever was.'

'I hug him closer, kissing his chest through his shirt. He smells so damn good.

His blond hair is always tousled these days, mostly from the way he’ll run his hand through it when he’s frustrated. It’s a tell I’ve noticed about him.'

'I kiss him to shut him up, letting him feel how good he makes me feel. I kiss him for so many reasons, all of them tangled around one simple, innocuous little four-letter-word that holds more power than I ever imagined.'

'You act like you missed me,” I say, committing every moment with him to memory.

I’ll need it to hold onto. I’ll need it to remember. I’ll need it to get me through the rest of this. Hopefully alive.'

'I’m seriously considering seeing a shrink about this mindless obsession I have with you,” he mumbles, but his lips twitch with a smile before he pushes down his pants.'

'And I’m yours,” he says before he kisses me, swallowing the words I try to return.

Mine.

Just like I’m his.

For as long as he’ll keep me.

“I love you,” I say as he slides inside me, '

'Anywhere in the world?” she asks.

“Anywhere.”

“I’d go to Greece with you.”

And this is why I’m so fucking obsessed with her.'

'But yes,” I say again. “I’d love you regardless. In case you haven’t noticed, I go a little crazy when it’s been too long since I’ve seen you, and you give me a reason to want to live instead of just exist. You accepted every piece of me, and dealt with the scraps I could offer. And never complained.'

'Logan doesn’t break the kiss. If anything, he kisses me harder, as though he’s assuring me she doesn’t matter as much as I do. As though nothing matters as much as I do.'

'Keep me awake while I drive,” I tell her, not commenting on any of the other.

“You want me to tell you about how I broke my vibrator this morning?”

I swerve the car, cursing as a horn blares.

“Logan? You okay?” she asks, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Yeah,” I grumble. “Fine. How’d you break your vibrator?”

This girl… I swear she gets off on surprising me. Every time I think I have her figured '

'out, she throws me another curve ball.

She laughs lightly. “Well, I pulled it out of my drawer, peeled my panties off on my bed, and when I slid it down my body, building up the anticipation as it buzzed…it slipped out of my hand, hit a crease in the bed, and crashed against the floor. The fun part broke off.”

Laughter escapes me before I can stop it, and I feel her smile.

“What if I told you your vibrator could retire for the night?”

“I’d say duh. Because it’s worthless now.”

“I meant, I’m coming there,” I say, still partially laughing under my breath.

“Really? You can get away?” The excitement in her tone has me driving a little faster.

“On my way right now,” I tell her, smiling when I hear her sigh like she’s content.

“Well, good, then you can—”

My phone beeps with an incoming call, and I groan, cutting her off mid-sentence.

“You need to let me go, don’t you?” she muses.

“Yes. Unfortunately. I’ll see you in about twenty though.”

“Be safe.'

'They all nod, and I pick up my phone, dialing Lana. She answers almost immediately.'

'Don’t get any ideas,” I say, pulling away the black fabric and tossing it to the ground. “Sleep first. More later.”

“Only if you sleep with me.'

'In my tank and tiny shorts, I snuggle in next to him, and his arms come around me, holding me close. “Wear pants around that guy. No more of this,” he murmurs against my forehead, squeezing my ass through the little spandex shorts.

Grinning like an idiot, I roll my eyes. “You’re a total caveman.”

“Not normally,” he says around a yawn.

He doesn’t even know how saying things like that does weird things to my soul, adding back the lost pieces I thought were forever gone. I feel more human with each passing day. Less like a soulless monster with a thirst for blood.'

'We’re a pair, aren’t we?” he asks in a soft, sleepy tone. “How long before we trust each other?'

'He snuggles in closer, content to just hold me. Instinctively, I continue running my fingers through his hair, and he moans as he slowly drifts off. When he starts breathing evenly, I know he’s down for the count.

I don’t stop running my fingers through his hair. Something inside of me seems to fuse together, and my heart beats to a steadier rhythm than it has in years.

His arms stay around me, and for once in ten years, I feel safe. I feel treasured.

I feel something other than empty.

I don’t even realize how much time has passed until his phone is going off with an alarm. My eyes dart over to the dresser to see it’s close to midnight.'

'It’s sad that I want to hide my bodies now so that my boyfriend gets a break and can spend more time with me.'

'Logan’s hand that’s on me slides down to my spandex-clad ass, and he rests it there, as though he’s proving a point. He’s cute when he’s jealous.'

' I think shower times should get watched from now on. This is hot. I want to video it so I can perv more later—after I buy a replacement vibrator.'

'I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t distracted by the way the water seems to follow all the lines of his abs to the towel as he conceals my happy place with the fluffy fabric.'

'Over this man in my room.

A man who has the power to destroy me.

A man I can’t let go.

“Okay.” My mind is screaming at me how stupid this is, as the solitary word of damnation weakly leaves my mouth. Never has okay held so much power.

“Okay?” he asks, as the tears start to reform on my eyelids.

I nod, not trusting my voice not to crack if I try to say more. I thought I’d rid myself of the emotions earlier, but they’re back with a renewed vigor now.

He springs to his feet, and my breath leaves in a rush as he grabs me at the waist with more speed than I was prepared for. He tugs me to him, pulling me flush against him before lifting me, clinging to me with a possessive, desperate hold.'

'At least you’re good at apologies,” I tell him, albeit I’m still all breathy when the words come out.'

'But with Logan, it’s as though I’ve never been hurt. I trust him. It’s insane to trust someone so freely after being hurt so irrevocably in the past, but I do. I trust him completely, and there’s no doubt in my mind that he’d never intentionally hurt me.'

'Are you ready to go now?” I ask, moving toward him.

'A laugh escapes me before I can stop it, and I feel her smile.

“Is that the weirdest thing you’ve ever inspected?”

“While examining the vagina of a synthetic woman made complete with suction in all holes wasn’t the highlight of my career, it surprisingly wasn’t the weirdest.'

'Well, I never adopted a booger-eating habit. Drinking urine doesn’t appeal to me. I’ll just have a beer if I’m in the mood to drink something akin to piss. And I’ll hide my strap-on until you’re a little more comfortable with your sexuality to give it a go.”

“Taking a jab at my sexuality. Nice,” I state dryly, listening to her laugh some more as I continue to smile.'

'I prefer coffee in the mornings, but you can buy me a muffin. They have excellent muffins.”

“Coffee in the mornings,” I echo, my grin growing. “Duly noted.”

“Are you flirting with me, Agent Bennett?”

“Maybe a little. '

'Just as I’m about to text him and find out if he’s okay, there’s suddenly a body sliding into the seat in front of me, and my eyes pop up to meet a set of soft blues. I could stare at those eyes all day. The rest of him measures up to those perfect eyes too.'

'Gotta love irony.

We’re so terribly mismatched that it’s not even funny.'

-

'LOGAN: Hope I’m on the right list.

I blow out a breath, then smile at the morbid joke, now that I know he’s not taking it seriously.

ME: You are. Currently, you’re at the top of the right list. It’s been a while since I smiled like I do when we talk.

LOGAN: I should have kissed you.

My heart thumps in my chest as I read that back. Then I read it again. And again. And again.

Each time it causes my stomach to flutter, and I try to process all the weird reactions I have to him. He makes me feel and act like the person I never thought I could be again, and I barely know him. I’ve only seen him twice.

Yet, we don’t miss a day speaking. And it’s the highlight of my day.

Every day.

Every time.

Every single word.'

'ME: Yes. You should have. Then I could have been spared the awkward wave I gave.

LOGAN: But the REALLY awkward wave was cute.

ME: Ha. Funny guy. I see how it is. It’s been a while since I tried the dating scene.'

'LOGAN: Then I definitely should have kissed you.

'LANA: You know, I always mocked the Netflix and Chill notion, but now I see the appeal.

ME: I don’t even own a TV.

LANA: What???? How????

ME: I keep meaning to buy one…

LANA: Agent Bennett, I’m sorry. This has to end now.

ME: At least call me by my first name if you’re ending things.

LANA: Agent Bennett sounds sexier.'

'ME: Oh? Handcuffs turn you on?

LANA: Restraint is a hell no. Not my thing. But I wouldn’t be opposed to using them on you… If we ever make it to that level, that is.

'ME: Dinner tomorrow?

LANA: You can do dinner?

ME: No leads right now on my case, so I have some free time. It won’t be much free time, but it has to be better than texting all the time.

LANA: I’m not sure about the protocol in this situation.

My brow furrows as I read her last text.

ME: What protocol?

LANA: Am I allowed to say yes to a last minute dinner invite? Or is it frowned upon to seem readily available on such short notice? ;)

'When you go so long feeling cold and detached, then a complete stranger ignites the dormant feelings you thought were forever gone…you can’t help but be addicted to it. You can’t help but revel in the smiles you forgot how to use, or the laughter that sounds

unnatural coming from the lips that haven’t laughed in years.

Whoa. I need to slow down. I’m one fantasy away from tattooing his name on my ass.'

'I start to speak, to explain why I stupidly answered the door without pants, when he’s suddenly on me. His hands go to my hair, tilting my head back roughly, and his mouth crashes against mine.'

'LANA: Your boxers are comfortable.

ME: You’re wearing them? Didn’t know I left them behind.

LANA: I figured you did it on purpose. So you’d have a reason to come back.

ME: Already got a reason to come back.

LANA: Now you have two…

There’s a picture attached to the last message of her from the waist down, definitely wearing my boxers. I run a hand through my hair, hating the fact I don’t want to be at work for the first time ever. I’ve always loved the job, yet a girl I barely know has me tempted to take my first ever sick day.

ME: Keep them on. I’ll be back tonight, and I want to see them in person.

LANA: Lucky for you I have no plans. And I’ll just be wearing these when you get here.'

'Logan?”

“Yeah?”

“Come back in one piece no matter what you have to do in order to make that happen. That’s the only thing I’ll ever expect. Survive.”

A slow smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. “That I can promise.'

'Maybe I was just looking for an excuse to speak to her. Because I’ve got it bad and it’s pathetic.'

'Yes, I’m still wearing the boxers. And eating ice cream,” Lana says, sounding bright and fucking giddy.'

'You called me your girl,” she says quietly.'

'ME: I like that you care so much.

LANA: I like my orgasms. I want more.'

'Who’s Jake? And why does he have a key?”

Her smile spreads like she’s enjoying a private joke.

“Jealous much?”

I narrow my eyes, and she snickers while tossing a leg over my hip and pillowing her head on my bicep.'

'I really am jealous.

Fuck.'

'I’ve missed you too,” she finally says after a long spell of silence.

“Then let me take you out on that date.”

She peers up, arching an eyebrow. “Lobster and wine?”

I nod.