#logan david

TW: Like a the tiniest dash of homophobia, but it’s mainly too boy hanging out

“LJ!”

Logan turned his head around, promptly seeing the neighbor boy jumping up and down at the fence. He still couldn’t believe he was a year younger than the excitable boy, it surprised him to see someone so giddy to talk to a younger party.

“Um..What?”

“LJ! You said your middle name was,” Patton mimicked Logan, but much more exaggerated, “Jean!”

“Oh.. so you changed my name to LJ?”

Patton shrugged, starting to climb the fence.

“I dunno, I always wanted a cool nickname, like Monty or something. I don’t want to be called PV though, that’s weird.”

Logan rudely mumbled an “uh huh”, turning back to his book.

“Whatcha reading?”

“Frog and Toad.” Logan answered, his annoyance fading, “Dad says it's below my reading level, but I like it.”

Patton plopped down next to him, whimpering a soft “ow” as his bottom hit the dirt ground a little harder than intended.

“Can I read with you?”

Logan was confused for a minute, before shifting the book so Patton could see. Strange, no one ever wants to sit with him.

“Wow, I like his jacket,” Patton hummed, his knees up to his chest.

“Me too.”

Logan had never been too sure what it was about Patton. At first, he figured it was because he’d never met another kid while he wasn’t at school before. Logan was homeschooled for the early years of his life, and most kids in the neighborhood were his older brothers’ friends, so where was the time to socialize?

Patton moved here after Logan, he said he was originally from Montgomery county. As far as the introvert knew, he was born in Quebec and grew up in Logansport, Cass county. (Though, his parents shamelessly said “ass” county, like it was even remotely funny.) That’s what his father made him rehearse to say, at least. He never understood why the name, Logan, but perhaps his fathers had some blatant inspiration from the city.

The boy next door was strange, though. He talked with such emotion, and wanted to rustle and tussle without ending Logan’s life like his brother did. He’d never seen someone so scared of hurting another person, Patton even apologized to flowers when he stepped on them.

“I’ve always wanted to read this book,” Patton mumbled, starting to lean onto Logan.

“Really?” Logan said, a little too excitedly for his taste.

“Yeah, my dad said I couldn’t.”

Logan might’ve leaned back onto Patton.

“Why?”

Patton paused.

“Said it was gay, so I wasn’t allowed to. I don’t get why though.”

“I see nothing wrong with that. They’re just neighbors, like how we’re just neighbors.”

“Right!” Patton yelled with victory, “That’s what I thought!”

Patton hugged Logan tightly, most of his grip was settled on Logan’s scrawny shoulders. It was almost bone crushing, way too strong for someone his age. It made Logan glad he wasn’t brawler, Patton might’ve broken someone's spine at this rate.

“Too tight!” Logan yelped.

“Sorry!” Patton giggled sheepishly.

Logan pushed Patton’s arms off of him, but still continued to lay against him.

“You gonna get any taller?” Patton asked, mischief in his voice.

“Nope!” Logan laughed, flicking the taller boy’s shoulder.

“What’s the guess this time?”

“5’6.” Logan affirmed.

“That’s better than 5’4, my mom thinks I’ll be 5’11, shortie.”

“Doubt it, you’ll be the size of Wall-E at this rate.”

Patton giggled, shifting to lay down.

“You’re my favorite short person, LJ.” Patton declared, “I know a lot of short people too.”

“You're my favorite tall person, Pat.” Logan reciprocated, “I know a lot of tall people.”

Patton grinned, a certain shimmer in his eye.

“Does this mean we’re best friends now?”

Logan’s eyes widened, looking down at the older boy.

“Sure, I guess it does.”

“Yes!” Patton pumped his fist in the air, as he chortled.

TW: very implied internalized homophobia, unsatisfactory ending, pining, bad feelings, kissing

Patton might’ve missed on what Logan was particularly talking about, but he could stare. He was a picture perfect definition of a sap, well, a clueless sap as Roman would put it.

‘God his eyes are gorgeous, they’re like dark chocolate.’ Patton thought, ‘if he moves under his lamp a little more, I bet I could see the bronze sparkles in his eyes.’

Though, a deep full bodied voice would interrupt his thoughts.

“Patton?”

“Huh? What, what is it?” Patton uselessly blabbered.

“Shit, I’ve been droning on for too long.” Logan guiltily apologized, “I’m boring you, aren’t I?”

“You must be kidding me then, Lo! I could listen to your voice for days!”

Patton lovingly smiled as he did for all of his friends.

“Wait- wait, I didn’t mean-” Patton yelped, once more making a fool out of himself.

“You could?” Logan’s voice dropped to a whisper, rumbling like a quiet storm.

‘He moved under the lamp. Gosh it’s like the night sky over there.’

“I mean-..yeah, I could.” Patton gulped.

Logan shifted, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh, well, um..” Logan’s pale and boney hand set on top of Patton’s, “Thank you.”

Patton shyly giggled, his heart rate picking up.

“Well it’s true. Your voice is just, so deep.” Patton sputtered, “You’re welcome.”

A comfortable silence surrounded them while they sat on Logan’s bed.

‘Is it crazy to think he's just gorgeous? No, no, I’m not gay, I just think he’s a good looking guy is all. Right. Right. Right?’

Patton turned to look at Logan again. The aforementioned gentleman had moved closer, their thighs were pressed together. He felt his breath hitch, watching Logan’s eyes follow the contours of his face.

“Salutations.”

Patton moved closer.

‘God forbid.’

The knees shifted together like a neatly crafted lattice.

“Hi.”

“This is a bad idea, isn’t it?” Logan hummed, his face completely red.

“It’s a pretty good bad idea.” Patton offered, equally as nervous.

Logan’s hand came up to the side of his head, twirling a piece of Patton’s hair. His face had gotten a bit closer.

“Um, we really shouldn’t Patton.”

“But we could.” Patton backed off a little, suddenly realizing what he said, “That is if we’re thinking the same thing.”

“We could be.”

Logan leaned back, running his hand through his thick brown hair.

“I mean, aren’t teenagers supposed to..?”

“Do bad ideas?”

“Yeah.”

He didn’t even think about it. Patton’s hands found their way to Logan’s waist, gripping the black fabric of his polo. Logan grabbed him by the collar of his letterman, his eyes wide and brimming with excitement.

“I mean, it's just a little mistake..” Patton mumbled, “Just a little mistake, please?”

Patton would’ve told you he didn’t know what he was in for, but he did.

“Well, then,” Logan’s hands tugged on his collar, “Oops.”

Logan’s arms shot around his neck, and as Patton’s settled on the middle of his back. To be perfectly honest and straightforward, they kissed. This was Logan’s first kiss, being a queer kid in Logansport didn’t exactly settle well so his options were vague.

This was strange.

Patton hadn’t exactly realized something. The way his heart rate sped up, or how fond of Logan’s looks he was. He figured this was just how people felt about their best friends.

His father would kill him, if he found out about this.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve asked!” Logan apologized, releasing Patton from his grip, “I know you don’t swing that way.”

Patton pulled him back in, holding him in place.

“I don’t. I really don’t.” Patton started, “But I mean, I kind of liked it.”

Logan’s eyes light up once more.

“Um, you did?”

“Yeah! I did,” Patton laughed, “Maybe we could do that again sometime.”

“I’m free in the next second.”

Patton rubbed Logan’s tie between his fingers, feeling this unnatural sort of ache in his chest. He kind of liked it though.

“That’s great! Oh-!”

I doubt you’d want to hear about those next 30 minutes, but it ended with them on the crappy roof outside of Logan’s window. Logan’s tie was gone, and he had Patton’s letterman around his shoulders.

“I love you.” Patton said, staring at the dark night sky, “You’re my best friend.”

Logan nodded and a silent pang of pain stung in his lungs.

“I love you too, dude.”

The words felt dumb and dishonest on Logan’s tongue.

“Chris asked me out the other day.” Logan mumbled, “I think he’s a little dull but, it's not like I have many options.”

Patton nodded, a silent pang of jealousy stung in his throat.

There really isn’t a resolution to this story. If you’re reading this, you know the jist.

They danced the same tango for years.

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Though I realized something was never discussed, with our time coming to an end in less of a year or so.

Logan fell in love first, but Patton didn’t until much later.

Logan’s feelings would somewhat fade into his early twenties, while Patton’s would grow that bit stronger.

The void reminded Logan’s of his feelings, and Patton’s new found freedom truly brought their feelings back into the mix.

Half the time, I can’t remember who kissed who. Half the time, I feel some sort of remorse for something not quite there.

Our time together is ending, Ms. Mary. I say these things, and you never seem to see what they mean to me. Our time is ending, and I’m scared.

Virgil: Hmm..maybe this one?

Part one of the comic..

Here’s the transcript..

Patton, thinking: Logan has really pretty eyes. They’re like melted dark chocolate. If you got the lighting just right, you might have been able to see the soft bronze sparkles in his eyes. He seems less tired when he’s-

Logan: Patton?

Patton: Huh?

Logan: I’m boring you, aren’t I?

Patton: You kidding me? I could listen to you talk for days!