#log 005

STAN: First my parents push me into this without even giving me so much as a warning.

STAN: Now I’m stuck with Sir Douchealot the third for a whole summer.

STAN: So awesome.

GREGORY: Oh, the dilemma we have found ourselves in...

STAN: Ugh.

GREGORY: How will this summer ever be so grand...

GREGORY: When again will the seasons light shimmer through to my soul?

STAN: Ugggggh.

GREGORY: What will become of me--

STAN: Can’t you just act normal for a change?

STAN: Just shut up already.

GREGORY: OH!!!

GREGORY: QUE C’EST FAUTE!

GREGORY: To go on is to watch my last innocent months wither before my very eyes, never to experience the joys of this camp ever again!

STAN: Maybe I can request a transfer or something...

GREGORY: Trapped within the bounds of these wooden walls, fated to fight amongst each other like animals...

STAN: I’m not going to fight you, what are you on.

GREGORY: O, doth the beanied fellow carry not malice?

GREGORY: Is it not the entire reason you’ve stepped through that door?

STAN: Yeah I totally came in here expecting to see you, stupid.

STAN: What have you been doing in here?

STAN: How long have you even been in this cabin?

GREGORY: Documenting my experiences thus far on what was meant to be a most joyous summer...

GREGORY: Until now...

GREGORY: Oh...!

STAN: Wait seriously.

STAN: You brought your whole laptop here?

STAN: How did they allow that.

STAN: They took my freaking phone away.

STAN: Is

STAN: Does that journal say “summer memories?”

STAN: Is this a leather back journal? 

STAN: Jesus christ, dude.

GREGORY: Mockery!

GREGORY: It has already begun!

GREGORY: You’ve nuzzled your way into my life, now you’re eating me from the inside out like a parasite!

STAN: You are making NO SENSE.

STAN: you’re the worst. you’re the worst. you’re th

GREGORY: A rope! My tears cascade down my cheeks!

GREGORY: I collapse to the floor, the weight of my sorrows too heavy for my shoulders to bear any longer!

STAN: I hate that this isn’t even the first time you’ve done this crap.

STAN: I hate that I’m used to this.

GREGORY: Tap... tap tap...

GREGORY: Tap, the droplets drum the floor, distinctly crestfallen in their beat.

GREGORY: “What is that?” you ask...

STAN: I don’t.

GREGORY: They are tears, I cry.

GREGORY: To bunk with my most horrid of rivals.

GREGORY: To be side by side with the man who hates every fiber of my being...

GREGORY: This makes me cry, can’t you see?

STAN: First off, no I can’t.

STAN: You’re just sort of

STAN: Sort of making a pool of water on the ground.

STAN: Second of all, we haven’t even talked in months.

STAN: We’re not rivals.

STAN: I don’t hate every part of you, just... most of you.

STAN: Maybe if you did less of whatever this is, I wouldn’t hate you as much.

GREGORY: Sniffle... sniffle hic...

STAN: You really don’t need to say the words out loud, I get it.

GREGORY: Do... do mine ears deceive me?

GREGORY: Is this some sort of truce?

GREGORY: Are we looking for common grounds?

STAN: Didn’t say that, but that’s probably how you’re gonna take it anyways.

GREGORY: I suppose...

GREGORY: If I am to be glued to the side of my enemy for my trek through summer blast...

GREGORY: It would only be just, that I attempt to appease such a beast.

GREGORY: I will do my best, your foulness...

GREGORY: Acting not as my own skin for your amusement, if that is what it takes...

STAN: Cool, sure.

STAN: Whatever.

GREGORY: All I ask in turn is...

GREGORY: May you not ridicule me more for my most personal of actions...?

GREGORY: Please, O mighty...

GREGORY: ...Grant me allowance to continue the documentation of my... m-my unrestrained summer fun...

GREGORY: Even if it is within a custom-engraved 50$ hard leatherback notebook (medium weight grade).

STAN: I don’t care.

STAN: I so, so, so do not care.

GREGORY: Then...

GREGORY: It has been decided.

GREGORY: Enemies to friends, perhaps...?

GREGORY: [Chuckles absently...]

GREGORY: Only time will tell...

...

GREGORY: SCENE!

GREGORY: Oh, that has to be one of my best impromptu performances yet!

GREGORY: This is why I always wear waterproof eyeliner.

GREGORY: Stan, while I may detest your vile insides so, perhaps we can make this work out!

GREGORY: After all, I’m sure South Park’s failed star athlete won’t be ruffling any of my feathers anyhow.

GREGORY: Just pretend you don’t exist and I’ll do the same, mhm?

GREGORY: I’ve more important matters to attend to, hope you enjoyed the show.