Die Hard Dracula (1998)
The monthly B movies screening at The Handlebar bar in Toronto play a doozy tonight. One of the worst of the worse.Â
Many people were asking if it was a spoof remake of Die Hard with Vampires. Which showed they were new to badmovies and probably were not ready for what they saw. So otherwords no it has nothing to do with DieHard.. just a weird name for this very odd movie.
Zero budget mumbeled movie that oddly has Crispin Glovers Dad playing Van Helsing. Bad act worse special effects even worse script.
Many momments are funny on purpose like the infamous flying coffin opening scene that is to be seen to be believed. But a good chunk of this movie panders along that you know the writer director thought the story and random odd ball characters were interesting and made sense. They were very wrong, but they liked it. Â
Oh man this movies loves using up all the Euro stalk footage from someones tourist home videos. They never run out of that stuff. Plenty a gurellia filler shot of catherdrals, castles and clocks.
A main plot of a young American man that goes on a solo trip to Europe after the death of his girlfriend. In Romania he finds a look alike of his girlfriend who oddly had recently come back from the dead herself... coincidence as its just a look alike.. suuuurrree.Â
Then we meet a group of local villagers that are very weird and only seem less creepy on comparison to the movies Dracula who may win homeliest Dracula in a movie. They play off the Gary Oldman Dracula that gets less ugly the more he feeds and heals but he Die Hard Dracula even with less make up he still seems like the creepy bloated drunk Uncle that no one feels safe leaving the kids alone with.
If you can get through this and keep smiling and you âgetâ the intense Badmovie logic I commend you and I consider you part of my Bad movies posse.Â
So go on.. watch this fart of a movies and when you see the special effects you too will feel special indeed.
Honestly if you donât laugh out loud over this film , you have less soul then Dracula himself.Â
Yipe kai yeah mother fucker (sadly never said in this movie, not even mother sucker)
