#lmrwriter

Of course, to you, it was all a big shock. I mean, how could it not? You had crossed friend groups a couple of times, but it was nothing more than polite party chatter. People knew of you, but not nearly as much as everyone knew the popular Gryffindor captain. 

You had occasionally had classes together, but barely talked except for the project you were assigned together in the third year. It had come as a surprise when he had been more soft spoken around you, occasionally clearing his throat as he got to work. 

Back then, you had assumed that the rosy hue that took over his cheeks and ears was because he was embarrassed to be with you or wished to be with one of his friends. Now you knew it had been something more.  

He had surprised you in ways you hadn’t expected. Although he seemed to slack off in class or have a bit too much fun on the weekends, he genuinely cared about his grades and doing well. Things came naturally to him, which you had to admit irked you from time to time. You couldn’t help it, even if he was your new best friend and boyfriend! 

He adored and was adored by his parents. Their opinions meant the world to him. The way you had seen him joke around with them and help Effie with the dishes after planting a kiss on her forehead had made you feel fuzzy inside. He had brought you to meet them not too far into dating, and while you thought it was too soon, James had reassured you that everything would be alright. You were sweating buckets for the first time outside his door, but they had claimed you as family immediately. They were Potters, alright, just like James, with wide smiles and welcoming arms. 

You sometimes grew worried despite all of this, letting your mind wander. Was he really as happy as he seemed to be with you in your relationship? Inside you knew the answer, and could already hear what he was going to say, but still needed it from him. One time, you had finally gotten up the courage to ask. He had squinted at you as if you had just asked him if he would like it if Slytherin won the house cup. 

“Of course I’m happy! Did I do something for you to think otherwise?”

You felt embarrassed and defensive under the attention of his gaze, “You– what I mean to say is that . . . I don’t want to seem ungrateful or unhappy. Because I am happy with you, SO happy in fact!” 

His lips turned up in slight amusement. He already knew all of this– James made sure to ask and put in the time because you were worth it and deserved nothing less. Concern was still evident in his features. 

You inhaled deeply and slowly since your nerves were making you lose your breath. “I don’t need them, of course, but you don’t seem to do the big serenading that you used to with others. Merlin, I sound jealous . . . I don’t mean to be, I just was curious, that’s all . . .” 

No doubt you were jealous; only a sane person would be.  How could you not when he had basically expressed to the entire Hogwarts population that his heart would always beat for Lily Evans? 

There had only been one other, and while they never dated, her name haunted you. She was beautiful, nice, intelligent, and well-liked. You could never dislike her, as she had always been nothing but warm to you. It was just that her name served as a reminder of what you wished you could be more like. 

“Oh, love,” He said, pulling you closer to him on the common room sofa, “I am so sorry that you’ve been feeling this way and I had no idea.” 

“No, no it’s alright . . . it’s honestly stupid for me to–” You said looking down, absentmindly shaking your head. 

“If anyone’s been stupid it’s been me!” He protested, trying to follow your eyes, “I was trying to do something– a new approach I mean . . . to show you I wasn’t the same lunatic who charmed quills into only writing love poems! I didn’t even think it’d be compared to now–” 

“Oh,” Was all you uttered– you hadn’t thought of that before. 

“Unless you want me to I mean! I hadn’t thought you were the type of girl to go for that, but obviously I haven’t been showing you enough romance–” 

“No! I’m not,” You snorted, remembering how Lily had been fuming when she didn’t have any notes in Potions for a day due to the enchanted quills. He had got it right this time– you definitely didn’t need that. “In fact I don’t think any girl is! Plus you still show your lunacy with your pranks from time to time . . .” 

He groaned into the collar of your shirt, thinking of all of his ridiculous displays while you laughed at his misery. 

“Can I admit something to you that’s kind of evil?” You whispered in his ear grinning.

At that he immediately perked up and a smile drew from his lips as he got awfully close, “Oh yeah? What’s that?” 

Giggling through the words you managed, “I’m really, really glad your plans didn’t work!” 

“Mhmm me too,” He said, giving you a peck on the cheek, “Although this one’s going really good right now, and I’m hoping to see where it goes.” It ended in a murmur, as his lips trailed down to your neck. 

“Prongs!” A voice shouted startling you both, into turning to see Sirius wag his finger disapprovingly, “Quit the PDA– there could be first years around!” 

There weren’t– it was only the three of you at the moment, but it was still mortifying to have been caught by James’ best friend who would never let either of you live it down. 

“Sorry, mate,” James scoffed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Sirius looked rather pleased for himself for a job well down. He took another bite of his toast with marmalade still smirking as he took a bite. Wiping the crumbs of his clothes he joked, “It was more for your girlfriend’s sake than mine.” 

You weren’t sure where this was going, but as both faces were in your direction, you felt even more embarrassed. 

“Oh?” James said, turning back to Sirius. 

“She’s practically burning up! Either she’s highly embarrassed, or the more likely option that your not allowing her to breathe,” He mused. 

James watched your stunned expression, and was choking on his laughter. You shot glares at both of the boys, “The first . . .” You murmured. 

Answering didn’t seem to do any good in this situation, as they wheezed in their fit of hysterics even harder. You were glad however, when James’ smugness was wiped straight off his face when Sirius quipped before heading up the boys dorm’s staircase, “I’ll believe the latter! Now back to work James, after all practice makes perfect! Make the boys and me proud!” 

You fell back into the cushion with tears nearly forming in your eyes when you saw James raise his eyebrows to oblivion, before almost raising from his position beside you. Your stomach was starting to hurt when you pulled yourself up to settle a hand on his leg, telling him to not go after Sirius. 

“He’s got some good advice, you know?” You laughed. 

“Occassionally,” James smiled softly and lightly chuckled in disbelief, before checking to see that Sirius was completely gone. Occasionally didn’t mean never and James was going to take the chance that this suggestion was one of the rare gems. 

After the heart to heart you had with your boyfriend, you were starting to feel shocked that his feelings for you had ever come as a surprise to begin with. You had been oblivious to how attentive he had always been. 

He paid attention to the things you said about yourself, liked, or even briefly mentioned. Your heart had practically turned to mush the next day when he held out a hand out to you as you were gathering your belongings after divination class. 

“Take your time,” He said with an outstretched hand, as you stiffly stood up. 

“What’s that for?” You said with confusion, grabbing his hand regardless to steady yourself. 

He shrugged as if it were nothing. “You said once that your legs fall asleep easily after sitting still so long in class, that it always take you a moment.” 

“I told you that?” 

“Not exactly,” He said shyly, as he took your books to carry for your next class, “You told Dorcas last year, and I was in the row behind.” 

“Stalker,” You laughed, relishing in James’ cheeks turning the same rosy color by your jab. The boy was almost never phased by any comments, so you took this as a victory for getting him back, for the many, many times he had the same effect on you. 

Secretly, your biggest reason for smiling was that it had been once. One single time that he had overheard you say that, and he had kept it noted. A way to make your day a little bit easier. 

You kept smiling to yourself with that thought even though you were headed to your least favorite class next. Each step was a little bouncier throughout the day gaining speed. 

James knew there was more gratitude and impact behind it then you had let on from your response. He decided against pointing it out, as the expression you wore was telling enough. He tried to keep with the pace as your hurried along to class.  

Even though you were gaining more confidence in what James and you had together, it unfortunately didn’t mean all of Hogwarts did too. 

People were wondering what had happened to the James-pining-after-Lily show, that as much as they wouldn’t admit it, gave them excellent things to talk about in the corridors. 

Some had thought that after Lily that they would be his next muse for wild displays of affection. Not only had that hadn’t happen, but there wasn’t any more of the usual chaotics except for the occasional pranks. 

James had matured a bit, but students didn’t see it that way. In their eyes you had turned him more reserved, no longer the life of the party. That was far from true– you were dragged to many Gryfinndor parties, where he was just as enthusiastic and involved, but these times he had you wrapped around your arm.

And in the natural course of these things, where crushes on your boyfriend were still there and bitterness formed over the lack of drama, things were taken out on you, the scapegoat that had put a stop to it all by loving him. 

One thing to note was that your boyfriend is the definition of a Gryfinndor with fierce amounts of loyalty for you. He would never stand for a bad comment to be said about you, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t gotten a good dose of backhanded compliments. You’re so lucky to have him! 

They needed an excuse to hide behind to say these things, so the scrutiny came under the guise of ‘looking out for him’ or ‘that you didn’t deserve him’ which was ridiculous considering that his best mates were fully behind the relationship. 

Some comments poked and prodded at your biggest insecurities, and a week later as you were in a bathroom stall that’s exactly what happened. 

“It’s beyond me!” A shrill voice said belonging to the girl who was washing her hands under the faucet. 

“I know right,” The second said with disdain laced in her words, “Such a downgrade from Lily.” 

Lily? Did they happen to mean Lily Evans? 

“Why he wastes his time on her I’ll never know,” Spoke the first. 

You were starting to feel panicky, as your body stayed glued in the spot to not make any sound. 

“And there’s the height . . .” The second spat. 

Oh lord, you needed to get out of there as sound as possible.

“He’s tall, so James couldn’t be at fault, but the two standing next to each other–” 

“Exactly! She’s practically a giraffe!” The first girl cackled. 

You were at most three inches taller if even, so you know it wasn’t true yet it didn’t relieve the sting. It hadn’t mattered to James and it hadn’t mattered to you, but now there was attention called to the fact, and it made you want to curl up in a ball. 

“No, no,” Said the second barely able to keep it together before she could say her next nasty comment, “Better yet a hippogriff!” 

You could tell that they were crying, but for a different reason. Trying to contain your sniffles, you unrolled some toilet paper to help a bit. The sound was masked by roaring laughter. 

You didn’t want anyone to see you in this condition, but your need to flee was growing stronger than your pride which was already nearing a sharp decline. Putting yourself together as much as possible, still with tearstained cheeks, you opened the door. 

Cringing as it creaked open, you slowly stepped out trying to hide being on the verge of a breakdown. The laughter died as two stunned pairs of eyes looked at you in horror. 

They said nothing as you washed your hands humiliated, biting your lip down to keep yourself from letting out a choking sob. The silence was unbearable, so you booked it for Gryfinndor House, met with excuses and two very weak apologies. 

As you did the trick James had taught you to bypass the dormitory restrictive magic, you hardly cared that you were going to be missing classes. Urges for logic were not being signaled in your head, as you spiraled. Why was he interested in you above all other people anyways? 

Once you got to his dorm you flopped on his bed and drew the curtains. You didn’t care if you would have to wait for him to finish practice after school, you needed him. For now you settled for his comforting smell that was buried deep in one of his Gryfinndor shirts. 

In exhaustion you had fallen asleep, just now being woken by the sound of fabric shielding the bed being pulled back, and the soothing feel of your hair being combed through by a hand. 

Blinking at the sudden rush of light coming through, you weren’t momentarily sure where you were at first, making disgruntled sounds. The awful comments came flooding back in once you saw James’ head tilted with sympathy looking down at you, as he scooted on to the bed. 

Normally, you would have minded him cuddling up to you after he returned from a grueling practice along with the smell of sweat and dirt, but today you couldn’t care enough to mind. 

“Oh, angel,” He tenderly whispered, “The boys were getting food from the kitchens anyways, so you don’t have to worry about them interrupting.” 

You nodded, partially aware and relieved from your thoughts. 

“Do you think you can tell me what’s wrong? I missed you today,” He coaxed. 

Knowing he wouldn’t be satisfied unless you told him all of the details of what happened earlier, you caved quickly, mainly hoping to nestle into his arms that were wrapped around you. 

“Honey,” He began, with so much hurt in his voice that it made you begin to start crying again. 

You muffled into his chest reasons why you weren’t good enough for James, but he refused to listen to a word. That would have remained the same whether he could have fully heard what you said or not. 

‘Shh shh shh,” He consoled, stroking your hair, “Those girls are simply jealous of you, and whatever they could say doesn’t change what you mean to me.” 

He gently ushered for you to sit up and look at him, with the arm that was around your back. 

“I’m taller than you,” You said in a hushed tone, like it was something heinous. 

“I’m shorter than you,” He repeated in a mimicking tone with a smile, before gasping, “Big deal!” 

You chuckled despite yourself at the antics he chose to cheer you up. “I know, I know . . . it’s just hard being constantly compared.” 

“To who?” 

“Lily, for starters– how you both would have been perfect for each other, were perfect. To you, for not being the girl version, and how different we can be.” 

For the first time in Hogwarts School history, James Potter was rendered speechless. He knew you sometimes had reservations, but he never knew how badly they were bottled up in side. 

His face turned stern, and a finger was pointed as he began his declaration. 

“Point number one,” He started. Oh boy, you were in for a long conversation, “You are ridiculously beautiful, and you are so not too tall if thats even a thing. In fact,” He continued with a mischevious smile, “Your legs are like better than models, and if you need me to compliment them everyday for you I’ll more than gladly do that!” 

You groaned, but you were still laughing as you listened, and threw a pillow at his head. He caught it and persisted regardless, looking even more astute and pointing his finger even higher. 

“Point number 2, the Lily situation was foolish of me. I couldn’t just take the no, and pestered her for ages. I’ve apologized and we’ve both moved on, so for those idealizing what happened have it all wrong. Point number 3, I could never date another James. Umm eeww,” He carried along with so much sass, that it nearly made you roll out of the bed, “Maybe Sirius would date the girl version of himself, but me? Never!” 

You snorted at the shade, given towards Sirius. There was just one more thing on your mind before you could totally let your mind be at ease, “Why me, out of everyone?”

With that James hopped up, and walked out of the room shaking his head, which made you instantly sit up perplexed. He peeked back in with a goofy smile, and pulled up a chair, as you sat on the bed. 

“I must not be doing a good enough jobs on boyfriend duties,” He murmured. 

“No that’s not what I meant!” 

“Ah,” He said with a look of understanding, before switching up and saying, “It’s hard being James’ victim I know.” 

“James!” You pleaded.

“Relax honey! I’m just messing with you,” He chuckled, “Well for starters you deal with me. You listen to me talk, and ramble about my latest prank, Quidditch, and whatever else I think of, without ever cutting me off. Sirius said that’s close to impossible.”

“That’s not really hard– you’re a captivating speaker!” 

He smiles, before resuming, “Not always . . . which leads me to my next point. Everyone always expects me to be pumped all the time, or passionate about whatever it is I’m doing. You allow to exist without feeling pressures and expectations– I’m just me when I’m around you. It’s like that muggle tale you told me about— your my ‘just right’ in every which way. Oh yeah, and your kind, humble, brave– especially for sticking with me– funny, and the most important fact that I’m overwhelming in love with you!” 

Your eyes were now watering. Who knew that James Potter; Quidditch extraordinaire, arrogant, brave, and overwhelmingly charming and handsome was able to touch your heart like this? 

“I love you too,” You said, tugging his shirt for him to come closer.

As he sat down beside you and he stared without shame at your lips, you whispered, “You need to go ahead and practice.” 

“Hmm,’ He said pulled out of his daze, “Just went.” 

“Sirius’ practice,” you joked.