#lizardvvizard

things i like: when jake lizardvvizard and i give someone a one-two punch on facebook in a social justice "debate" over something like why it's important to identify racism and terrorism as such things i don't like: when the person we're "debating" is someone who should know better than the filth they're spouting and i can literally feel my respect for them dropping with every comment

I've been slowly getting more and more political online and oh no I think I'm making some conservative family members ~uncomfortable~ GOOD.

Me: "I'm gonna fart on you. " Him: "I'm gonna bite your butt. " Relationship goals

So I'm on an overnight bus back to Buffalo and I just had my first experience of sleep paralysis. (I think? I'm obviously self-diagnosing here.) It was absolutely terrifying, although it didn't match the classic cases I just read about on Wikipedia. Apparently the person has usually just woken up when they realize they are unable to move, and the feeling is often accompanied by either actual visions or just a certainty that there is some evil presence lurking nearby or even sitting on your chest. In my case, it was part of a dream that I was having, though I don't know that I'd say that made it any better. In my dream I was driving down the highway, and lizardvvizard was sitting next to me. We had been talking and joking, and in the dream car there was even a heads-up display on the windshield showing my tumblr dash. (Kids, do as I say, not as I dream: don't tumbl and drive.) So there I am in the driver's seat when all of a sudden I realize that I'm paralyzed. I can't move, which means I can't control the car, and Jake is distracted by the screen display, so he doesn't notice. I'm frantically trying to say, "Jake, pull over! Jake, pull over!" but my mouth is locked up too so nothing is coming out and I'm convinced that we're about to crash. After a few moments I finally do produce a vocalization that sounds more like "uhh uhh UHHHHHHHH", which of course I say in real life, quite loudly, as I come awake. I startled the people nearby me on the bus, to say the least. But I immediately muttered a quick apology, then turned to google to look up sleep paralysis. I'm still not 100% convinced that's the right diagnosis, since the experience differed from the classic conditions, but either way, I wouldn't recommend it at all. Ugh. It's 4:00 now, and I'm not due to get in until 7. I guess I'll grab a little more sleep, and hope that Wikipedia is right that these things are usually isolated instances.