#livingchronically

Every day I wake up. I lay there for a while. Not because I need to browse on my phone, or be grateful for the day. I cannot move. My body is stiff and I’m paralyzed with pain. Have you tried meditation?...they say. When I finally make it out of bed, it’s only moments before I’m racing to the toilet, to vomit up my stomach acid. Have you tried a pill?...they say. I get myself together and live out my day, no matter how many spoons, or a lack thereof, I have. I do well...I get good grades...I am successful at my job...people like me. Yet I feel so alone, misunderstood, and trapped inside my flesh prison which once did so many amazing things (and still does), yet I am stuck in a reality where my life is pain and I can no longer do many of the hobbies and activities I once loved. I am taking good care of myself and trying to preserve what mobility I do have. Have you tried positive vibes?...they say. And yet again, I am alone.