#littlebarncs

   At first, he hadn’t believed.

   How could it even be possible? But then he’d received the picture, the identical features of his youngest sister on the screen in front of him. His fingers had reached out, tears welled in his eyes, and he’d known. She was alive, somehow unchanged. He had agreed to the meeting right then and there. It had taken a little while to do all the checks, make sure he’d be safe to go and finally see her. Steve had told him as soon as he was stable, but until the picture he had assumed... he hadn’t known...

   As soon as he walked out of the arrivals terminal, he had anxiously scanned the crowd. A few flashes went off, but not many, people holding their breath for the moment. With the amount of publicity following the Avengers--and associates--every move, he wasn’t surprised the news had gotten out. Experts had been giving interviews about the whole thing, for Christ’s sake. But he didn’t care, grey eyes looking for a familiar face, one that found his at the same time and he began to rush towards her. 

              a groan rumbles out of chest, a hack, a pain as muscles shift to pick self from ground. scrapes ignored, only a slight sting to the skin of his palms. fingers  ( long, gangly, and bruised )   touch to lips -- & a hiss slips past, lip busted, blood crusting where it dries. little good does it to wipe away the evidence of his fight. there wouldn’t be a lecture waiting, after all. carved from self--- from family ; the days have been counted since james barnes had gone overseas and each day is a heavy reminder from the world. constant thoughts to who was left on this soil & it brings a promise ringing in his ears, and no- it’s not his time, his turn, to hold such thoughts.

             and so he does clean himself up, wiping away what blood from his lip and dragging feet to destination ( and extra stop ) hopefully uninterrupted.  it isn’t uncommon these days--- what else is there to do ?  back-alley spats hold attention when they come. not on purpose, not sought anymore than the normal.      (  ‘take care of ‘em while i’m gone, alright?’  )    a promise to be less destructive keeps self from digging deeper into holes of trouble. a reminder set before he left. a snark voice in tone he can hear all to well when he thinks of it.

            it’s hot-- not too sticky and gross but hot enough that the air he breathes makes lungs feel clogged. his brow is wet with sweat by the time he’s taking the stairs.  steps are taken two at a time-- a drag of feet behind caused by the heat.     ❛    becca--- ?   ❜     she’s an adult, by standards and a handful of years but own personal thoughts, history, don’t see this. repetition since bucky had left has him stopping by for usual visit. the groceries in his hands slip slightly and he grips tighter, feet carrying him to the small kitchen as he calls out. 

The gash on her thigh is not the worst she’s ever had by far, but it’s still enough to HURT like a bitch and, consequentially, to break into someone’s apartment and steal whatever makeshift BANDAGES she can get her hands on. Clearly, this could have been a lot better HANDLED without witnesses, but how did that song go? You can’t always get what you want, right? “— OH. This is AWKWARD”.

                                 in  the  weeks  after  the  war’s  END,           peggy  hadn’t  been  herself.           when  steve’s  plane  went  down,               she’d  done  nothing  but  throw  herself  into  her  WORK.            but  now  ?       she  was  reduced  to  the  role  of  a  secretary  by  her  boss  &&  co-workers.            alphabetizing  their  records  did  LITTLE  in  the  way  of  giving  her  a  chance  to  be  free  from  her  THOUGHTS.          she’s  sitting  there,        stirring  her  cup  of  tea  silently.             the  L&L  was  at  least  a  place  to  be  ALONE  after  work.        angie  was  nice.            it  gave  her  a  break  to  feel  PEACEFUL.           

iM SCREAM. I think we are definitely overdue on doing the thing. thank you for sticking around and putting up with my slow ass <3 you seem so wonderful and sweet and i’m so hyped to get to do shit with you. pls there is no need to be shy, i’m nothing to be afraid. i’m just a nerd with a keyboard. LOL. 

MEME: bucky writes letters. :: STATUS: semi-accepting.

                 Becca,

        Don’t you ever grow up. Don’t you dare do that to me. Stay like this forever okay? Remember me like this forever. Your big brother who would do anything for you..anything to protect you. You’re worth more than I or anyone could ever hope to give to you and I want you to hold on to that. There’s gonna be a lot of people who are going to want to take advantage of that and don’t you let them. I may not always be around to help fight your battles for you, so it’s just safer if you just always stay like you were the last time I saw you.

        You’re strong, you always have been, and I know you can take care of yourself, but you shouldn’t have to. I should be there for you. I should be there for you all. I’m sorry. Now I know you’re gonna hate me, but there’s something else I have to say. I thought getting drafted was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Believe me, I’ve never told a soul this. I thought I’d finally be able to provide for you and Ma and Steve. I thought I’d be able to save us all. But then they gave me a gun and I knew it was all over right then and there. I ain’t ever coming back the same, if I ever come back at all. This war’s a nightmare that you will never have to see as long as I live.

        So, just…don’t grow up, you hear me? You’re perfect the way you are right now.