#litertature

The Untold History of Japanese Game Developers Blu-Ray

Now available on Amazon for $23.99

Author and journalist John Szczepaniak spent three months travelling around Japan, interviewing over 80 members of the games industry for a trilogy of books spanning nearly a million words. Originally released exclusively for Kickstarter backers, this remastered Blu-Ray documentary, available publicly for the first time, contains a selection of those interviewed.

Leaf's are like tears, leather like blood, skin is textured like fruit, and feelings are disguised as ornaments. The weeping trees of the surrounding forested area were cast as light with the sun peaking through just to say hello, as the kids ignored him. They continued to play, and this day feels as though it is never ending. In my head at least the pictures I see that flash before me are finally coming to life. The pieces that I lost to my perfect puzzle have finally been found, The koi fish were swimming upstream, not from where we were. I, also, imagined us as two fishes swimming upstream, following a current in a pack that was passing by sailors and fisherman. Occasionally, we would see something shiny in the cold blue river, but we follow the warmth and where it is the warmest, is where the two currents join to become one. Then finally, our pack has been rejoined, like we were never torn apart from one another.

There once was a lady called Nada and she’s in her twenties. By her friends and people, she was always judged as a Psychopath, mad and schizophrenic. In a certain point of Nada’s life, she determined not to have any more friends. This was due to pain she felt from them. After losing her friends, Nada started to find out the meaning of Nothingness, Purposelessness, Emptiness and suffering of Nada. Man, in this stance, may execute a lot of actions. One may commit suicide, another might become a criminal, others may do many things! This girl started to try everything offered by life. Nada started looking for new groups of friends but found None! She tried to be a holy person by following each letter of the bible but found so impossible. Nada started to doubt every religion, every holy person, every rule issued by governments and kings. Nada thought it is impossible to live, feel happy and be comfortable. One day, this poor lady entered the life of science, literature and books. She started to listen to intellectual people, reading books, stories, novels and essays thinking that her life is going to improve. At the very beginning, she started to feel happy as she started to understand how authors or scientists think. Even Nada began having discussions with her acquaintance and family. Things went their wrong way. Nada’s life started to get worse and worse, bit by bit, she lost her family’s trust in all her decisions and perspectives. No one wishes to be in such a situation as Nada got all her life complicated and darkened. While Nada was sleeping, a weird apparition showed up and awakened that simple complicated lady. The lady got so scared and covered her eyes with the blanket. The ghost finally started to speak and uttered ‘’ To help I am here’’. Nada was still scared and started reading some verses she remembers from the bible, thinking that her ghost will disappear. The ghost left the room leaving a sign that says ‘’Remember, No One was here to help except for thee, if thou want thee back, call my name Frank’’. That poor pale lady thought many days and nights about what happened and finally got her decision to call out the apparition. In that night, Nada started looking to the sky and cried ‘’Help me frank, my heart is blank’’. Behind Nada, a ghost appeared among much green smoke! Again, Nada felt dreadful and hid in her bed. It seemed the ghost has a few words to say. It offered Nada to own everything in this universe, fortunes, treasures, gold, friends, love, power and intellectuality. Nada didn’t hesitate to accept that great offer as she nodded her head up and down in a shy scared way. The ghost didn’t need her words as it already could read Nada’s mind. Frank hymned and mentioned some weird words and from now on, everything changed. Nada’s Hell turned into Heaven. Her life became awesome. As she wished, new friends are getting close to her, all the family love she got. Money and wealth coming out of nowhere as she gained the respect and the fake love of all people around her. Actually, all what Frank did was giving Nada wealth. Wealth was like a magnet, but a magnet that attracted everything and not only iron. Nada was happy with all the new things she got. She got all her time full. No one leaves her house and she got no space anymore. Nada thought it was the end of all suffering. One thing Nada forgot is that a magnet doesn’t only attract but also Repels! Nada tried to enjoy her wealth as much as possible as she drank much wine, had illegal relationships, smoked cigarettes and finally she forgot her personality. Nada forgot about all her books, science, literature and religion! New Nada was careless, sane one doesn’t wish to be. All her eyes are blinded but with a lie, a big lie! Nada forgot all her previous thoughts that life has no happiness and that one can never be happy. What happened now? Is Nada really happy or she’s lying to herself? After one year of this classy, ‘’perfect’’, and amazing life, Nada was sitting in a café waiting for her coffee to drink. It was night and dark. Where she was sitting, a small brochure was there. Nada picked it up and started browsing… some words got Nada’s attention and stole her heart, brain and mind. Some words got Nada devastated from the inside. All the emptiness entered her heart and soul again! Many ideas entered; many ideas got out and many ideas disappeared. The brochure mentioned ‘’Death can be defined by life, white can be defined by black, land can be defined by sky and good can be defined by evil’’. Finally, that piece of paper said ‘’God can be defined by demons!’’. God, what is this word? Doesn’t it sound familiar to Nada’s ear and mind? It’s been a long time that Nada didn’t think of this word and its meaning and existence. Nada uttered inside ‘’How could I believe in devils after falsifying God’s existence?” Suddenly, Nada left the café and went out home without even paying the waiter. Nada got so scared about her future, death, God, Hell, Heaven! During that midnight, she opened the bible and started to read God’s words as hoping to find some satisfactory words. Maybe it’s not a good idea to read the bible while you are dealing with a demon. Frank suddenly appeared with an angry face uttering:

‘’What have I done wrong? I offered thee everything’’.

Nada said: ‘’you lent me everything but forgot to tell me about GOD!

Then Nada cried: ‘’ It is God who gave you all of this, you are not able to do anything without God’s will!’’.

Frank replied: “Thou must have realized this before uttering my name, now it is over’’.

The Dreaming Girl in the Sphere

Like any cliché short story, this starts with a ‘Once upon a time’. The difference of this story from every other story which starts with such is that, this was written by a complete amateur and all that follows could just be a product of a night fuelled by coffee and indistinct images of the narrator’s most beloved in mind. This isn’t a sad story nor is it a happy one. Time: 1:02am.

Are you ready?

I’d advise you to stop reading right now but I know you’d keep going. Because you are you. This isn’t a good story, I could tell you for sure. Please don’t leave the narrator after finishing this piece.

Start.

Once upon a time, before time probably even existed, there lived a girl floating in a sphere the size of a room perhaps one would rent to accommodate a friend and her boyfriend in need. Except in this sphere she is alone. The orb of water floats in a concept of a universe nobody knows existed—because nobody else existed in the first place. She is alone. In this place, her sphere capsulated her in comfort. Her clear orb was breathable and transparent, floating into a conceptual space and everywhere she looked, the stars were visible, just like how she likes it.

The girl in the orb didn’t know her name or how she came to be. The conceptual universe loved its creation but it knew that it felt sadness deep down. Years of solitude made her heart hard, not knowing companionship or genuine care from another made her—for the lack of a better word—independent.

There was nothing much to do in her space. No one to talk to. It was hard to keep track of time because time wasn’t even a concept at that point, if there was a point. She spends her infinite days blinking back at the twinkling star—light years away from her. Sometimes she’d catch herself holding her breath as if she was conscious of the worldly logic and knowledge a hypothetical world which definitely does not exist has.

Curious. She was learning without cues, teachers, or social experiences. She was gifted with the brilliance of the universe. And just like its maker, her consciousness was also expanding infinitely. Floating in a concept of space, this girl was endowed with round eyes that sparked with every new discovery. Her eye lashes were long and elegant such that if there was ever a breeze in space, it would sway lightly as if dancing to a slow waltz. Her lips were as soft as a balloon filled with water and her cheeks felt like the bed of a hardworking Olympian after an exhausting day of practice—soft and warm. The liquid atmosphere of her sphere lets her hair sway freely into space and the light from billions of stars made her skin glow. If there were others in that conceptual space, from their view, she’d look like another star twinkling in space, light years away. Except brighter.

She was amazing. But it doesn’t change the fact that she was lonely.

The universe recognized her loneliness and wanted her to feel happiness. And so she was given something.

She was allowed to dream.

“Only for a certain amount of time”, the universe said.

“When you see the star, and you’ll know it’s the right star, your dream will slowly come to an end”. And thus, time was set into motion for this girl.

Like a new born, she stretched her arms and legs, yawned, and closed her eyes. And like a new born, she slept like a baby. For the first time, she has felt sleepiness. For the first time, the girl in the sphere dreamt. The sun and stars illuminated her capsule and guarded her while she slept.

When she came to, she was already in her dream. In a completely new world than the one she floated in, she was already endowed with a sufficient amount of knowledge of this new place—another gift from the universe.

Her eyes met the ocean that stretched far into the horizon. She was standing on the sandy shore, bare and unmindful of her own nudity. She was focused only on the view in front of her. The flaming orange hue of the sunset shone in her eyes, and the warmth embraced her body. This was her first experience of warmth. And the sea, her closest experience of love.

She spent years in that place, living her life, meeting new people who to her surprise were so much alike her and sometimes the complete opposite of her. Her kindness escaped through her words and actions and so people were drawn to her. It also means that other people were envious of her.

More years have passed and her time in the sphere were like a hazy dream that could be easily wiped if not for her astute memory she was gifted with. More years have passed and she felt like this was the only world she ever knew.

One evening, when the sun had just set and the red hues were still covering the plains and trees of the shore she made a house out of, she came across a guy drinking with his friends. On the same shore she first came to when she started dreaming, she forgot she was dreaming.

The guy was conscious of her and found her beautiful immediately after laying his eyes on her. They talked until dawn and got to know a handful about each other. The more he got to know her, the more he fell for her. Their meeting was unbelievable and he thought, so was she. Her sincere smile, her captivating eyes and lashes, her mole around the middle of her neck and upper left corner of her forehead, her dreams and aspirations for the future. He listened, and he talked. And so, under the roof of a bluechip convenience store in the middle of a beautiful island dream, they talked. Until dawn, until one had to leave, they talked.

Days, weeks, and months have passed, the two only grew fonder of each other. They’ve gone through unexpected happenings and their fates intertwined over and over again be it coincidence or not. They’ve gone through so much together. Tears and cries were witnessed by both. Their vulnerabilities and defences were shared with each other.

To him, she was easily one of the most important person in his life. To him, she became everything. He loved her kindness and adored her unconditionally. He adored her more at times when she can’t even like herself. He was her greatest supporter and ally even when sometimes he doesn’t show it. And he hopes she knows. To him, she is the brightest star that warmed his heart. By this time, the boy was certain of her. And the girl, well she was starting to feel the same way. The boy hopes.

One star.

On a rainy day, it only took one star, twinkling far away in the horizon, to remind her of the gift of dream given to her. She never told him of the universe’s gift nor does she know how to tell him. She asked herself over and over how much of everything was real.

By the bed, the boy awoke to her crying. He asked, “What’s the problem, my love?” while he tried to console him with a warm embrace behind her back. She was standing still, looking at the star, tears falling from her round, sparkling eyes. She faced him and he faced her. The room fell silent for some time and he glanced over to the distant star. It was still twinkling but its time was about to come to an end. The final rays of light that travelled years were about to reach their eyes. They looked at each other again.

Odd. No words were exchanged but they smiled at each other with tears in their eyes. Their eyes sore and red. When they smile the bags under their eyes fold and their nose crinkled, also red like the Christmas reindeer of the new world they came to know.

The room felt smaller and their hearts felt closer. When their grins were wiped off their faces and the room felt silent for a mere second or two after a minute or so of drowning in the sound of repressed tears and smiling, the girl spoke.

“Thank you”. Her already dry tears were watered once again as she hugged the boy tightly. His shirt wet with her tears.

“I’ll find you”. Said he, looking at the distant star.

Confused, the girl asked, “what do you mean?” while looking up at him to meet his eye, still embracing him tightly.

“I mean…”, he hugged her back and leaned his head on his shoulder to feel her warmth one last time.

“…you gave me no other choice but to love you, Just Ly--”…

 She woke up from a long dream with only fragments of hazy recollections in her pocket of memories. Her eyes still red and her heart heavy but for reasons beyond her now. The giants around her shone brightly as if to comfort her while she silently weeps of a dream she can hardly remember. She cannot recall much of her time from that world—if it ever existed. Her name, the way she looks in the mirror, and the way he looks at her. Time ceased to exist once again. For her. And for him.

Far away, a sphere holding fragments of radiant memories and a yearning heart was desperately floating toward the brightest and warmest star. There were hearts beating in this conceptual universe.

End.

-----

Time: 4:08am.

 To the girl who gave me no other choice but to love her, I can’t stress enough how thankful I am to have you in my life. There will never be enough words to let you know how much I appreciate you. Not even in a poorly made, pretentious short story. There are other things I wish to say, but not in writing. I hope I made you a bit happy. I will keep trying to make you happy because you deserve so much, I hope you know that.

Happy birthday, Just Lynn. I will always be there for you.

Respectfully and truly yours,