#lildudes

Everything I ever thought of during the night, where I cant sleep and my mind buzzing around, I never, EVER wrote it down anywhere apart from my own mind. Where my brain somehow dumps all those things down to the depths of my subconcious part of the brain and never been hooked ever again.

I lost nearly thousands-heck, Millions of images/imagination/short clips or scenarios of an events/ a short imaginative clip of a random thing or scenario again/music/beat/lyrics/everything, all flushed down in my depths of my own mind, never to be seen ever again.

I probably am ranting this since I wanted to stop these events to happened again to me, and start using tumblr to get it off my chest with my horrible Grammar... and yet I typed like a 5 year old. DAMN.

I might be awake at this time (3:37 am), but my mind is partially dead inside...Gonna edit this once my brain is fully fuctioning and fix this post. it is a mess.

I also felt utter SHIT, this aint my first time tho! I’ve felt so empty, dumbed down and aimless after I finished my S16 in first year. I might be suffering internal depression with my own thoughts..? Have you ever felt being a waste of skin and resource to the world and society? well I am feeling that now, I had these... daydreams or skits in my head (scenarios) where I cracked finally.. stopped being a lonely loser where I give a half assed shit at anything I do/try. I CANT EVEN BE GOOD AT MY OWN SHIT. I see my friends that can get sooooo deep near perfection on a game/subject/anything... me? nope.... Im always that smartass who knew literally nothing and act like a total know it all mufucka.