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this is my proudest creation...yes...yes...
had 2 genderbend my persona for this for yuri purposes (I just added eyelashes to his eye thing Im fucking BAWLING.)
i think my drawings perms need to be taken away but whatever bro
tje og image is that,,,,Mavis n Rapunzel lesbo meme
char on the right is @telaholic 's persona ^_^
I really want to ramble about Polaris because, oh boy, he has been living in my head for so long and now he gets to be on the page! But also, the limitation of sticking to his POV means I still can't say all that I want. And what I want to say is that sometimes a character decides to take responsibility for their actions and inadvertently grabs a heaping of responsibility for things that weren't actually on them.
Not really spoilers, but a long read so putting it under the cut.
Polaris was so, so young when he was handed the Goddess's vessel. He had always been the golden child of the Temple, the one who only ever saw and experienced the best the Radiance and her followers. Serith might have been the more rule-abiding of the two (having been taught by his own past the cost of disobedience), yet Polaris was the one to truly believe in it.
And then, he was given this tiny, smiling caterpillar and told not to treat it as a child. Even worse, every time Polaris tried to speak up on how horrible it was, he was told that he was wrong, punished or threatened.
Of course, all of it had much worse consequences on baby Noon, since this was a matter of his life and he was too young to have any ways of coping with it. But Polaris was basically put in an impossible position people who had lovingly raised and guided him, and by his own Goddess. I wonder how many times he had tried to mention something to the Radiance directly, just to be brushed off? Even his very best friend (and sometimes lover) wouldn't take his side.
It should have felt so gratifying to be proven right, but in the end that only meant that baby Noon had suffered all those years for no reason. And while Polaris is right, he had and made a choice, there were no good options there either. It would have felt very wrong to pretend nothing horrible had happened and agree to serve the Radiance, almost like taking a bribe to sweep the whole mess under the carpet. But Polaris could have bitten back his outrage and pride, and stayed, hoping that as Seer he'd be able to influence the Goddess to a better path. Hoping that even as Seer he'd have time to make sure Noon would be alright. Only, there is something to be said about people who stay in bad relationships to try and fix their partner. And about parents who stay married because they don't want to put their children through the divorce. It could have worked out better. It could have worked out much worse.
It also can't be discarded that Polaris leaving did affect the Radiance and helped her chose to admit she was wrong when the sealing was broken. A small consolation for Noon, but still.
Nevertheless, there were other people involved in the matter and they all had choices to make too. Tersa, the previous Seer could have actually listened to Polaris. Serith... Well, Serith had the opportunity to pull the funniest thing even and also refuse to become Seer unless Polaris got an apology or really anything else. It would have looked so incredibly bad for the Goddess to sent away her current Seer in shame, have her successor refuse to take up the role, and have the back-up successor also refuse. Like, just imagine. Alas, poor Serith was not managing well enough at that point to recognize the moment.
The one who really had a choice in the matter, though, was of course the Radiance. She could have easily called Polaris back and told him that he can stay as an acolyte to help raise Noon. She could have done so at any time while her newly-claimed son cried himself too sleep for months. But nope. It was much better for the optics to pretend Polaris left after a selfish rant, and let her people hate him. Takes the weight of her failure to see her child's existence off her shoulders.
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This is likely too chaotic to be classed as a Six Sentence Sunday post, but I promise to throw in a few Snow On Ice sentences somewhere!
I've lost track of who has tagged me recently, but I've really appreciated reading some of my lovely moots' life updates. Its a good reminder that we all have highs and lows and when we talk about it we can get a little comfort and reassurance from this lovely community. I'm sorry some of you have been having a rough time. Sending hugs to you all.
I am never concise so my life update (of sorts), pics and sentences are under the cut.
Happy International Dawn Chorus Day!
Niche I know, but I used to work for an arts and wildlife organisation and had to get up at 4am once to record the sunrise and the dawn chorus. After getting over the shock of being up and outside so early, it was actually a really lovely thing to celebrate. I've been sleeping terribly recently, so I was awake at 4:30 this morning anyway. Got up and sat in my parents' garden for 10 mins listening to the birds and it felt special, if a little less glorious since the clouds hid the sunrise. Here's a recording of today's dawn chorus in Norfolk, UK:
Forever WIP: Me
I had a (very) minor surgery earlier this week to have a small but painful lump taken off my bicep. I've never experienced such a procedure before and it was very interesting being awake in an operating theatre (I had a local anaesthetic) getting to talk to the surgeons while they worked. (I was proud of myself for being so chill, tbh.) Since then I have been resting my achy body and my sluggish brain, forbidden from doing any heavy lifting or exercise, while trying not to stress about all the work I need to get done before running my stall at London Comic Con later this month. I showered yesterday with my arm wrapped in a plastic bag and it felt like a big achievement. (This is like a bizarre practice run for one day having top surgery!)
Some (sort of) sentences
Snow On Ice Chapter 3 is taking me foreverrrr, since I'm not used to writing so many characters and it's been a lot for my adhd brain to handle. So to keep my writing from feeling stale, I've been writing some daft text chats between the characters. I'm thinking of posting them as supplements in between the main chapters, to help flesh out some of the relationships the main fic isn't focusing on as much. What do you think? Here's a chat between Simon and Agatha that will take place a little after chapter 3:
Simon: (photo of Tamagotchi the chinchilla)
Simon: This is my friend Melody’s chinchilla. I think you’d like her.
Simon: The chinchilla, I mean, not Melody.
Simon: Though you’d probably like Mel too.
Ags: Holy shit Simon
Simon: What?
Ags: Who IS that?
Simon: …Tamagotchi the chinchilla. I told you..?
Ags: No, Simon, who is HOLDING the chinchilla!?
Ags: Is that Niamh Brody???
Simon: Oh! Haha
Simon: Yeah, that’s Niamh :)
Ags: How the hell do you have a photo of Niamh Brody holding your friend’s hamster!?!
Simon: Chinchilla
Ags: SIMON!!!
Seeing some of your posts recently, I've wanted to say more on reblogs and offer support in comments, but my brain hasn't been doing words great this week, so please take some positive vibes and fond, no pressure tags instead (: