If you know me well, you'd probably know that I’m an anxious person.
Years ago, I can still remember visiting Makati Medical Center for a routine check-up due to some stomach discomfort. The doctor, without hesitation, told me that I was very anxious. It was as if my anxiety was written all over me but I just shrug it off. I am not aware that being anxious all the time is so toxic.
There was also a time when someone from my past told me that I was the type of person who always seeks assurance.
I didn’t fully connect the two observations until now, but as I reflect on both experiences, it all makes sense.
Anxiety and the constant need for assurance are deeply intertwined for me. I realize that my anxiety often stems from a desire for certainty. I want to know that things will turn out as planned, that nothing unexpected will disrupt my carefully ordered life. I seek comfort in knowing that everything is under control.
This craving for assurance has shaped the way I approach many aspects of my life. Whether it's work, relationships, or everyday decisions, I feel a constant need for confirmation that everything will be okay.
But life, as we know, doesn’t come with guarantees. There’s always an element of the unknown, and perhaps that’s why I find surprises so unsettling, yet somehow amusing when they do happen.
I’m slowly learning to minimize my worries and anxiety about the future by holding on to God's promise.
He’s got it all covered.
Today, I am still a work in progress, trying not to feel this way, but I trust that whatever surprises life throws at me are God’s way of teaching me to trust more and worry less.
