#lieues

Long walks around rose gardens complete with chaperons and tiny finger sandwiches. Stolen kisses behind trees because anything else is just improper and kisses are so much more than what most of us credit them as. Glances given between courses at dinner, promising secret trysts under moonlit skies. I want to be called upon by a calling card. I imagine pressed white shirts and sideburns as long as my index fingers. I want to be on fire with just one look, one kiss to the back of my hand, one sentence that exudes how I am forever his, murmured around an improper joke he's managed to slip in around the tea and scones. I want to share our favorite pieces of poetry, of books, watch movies, lay around all day and all night in our underwear and each other's arms, delirious off the way his fingers sow my hair, planting teeny tiny kisses to my scalp like little suns. I want two-page letters stitched together by candlelight, handwritten, on paper that used to be old tests or sketches or even other letters he or I have sent to other people. I want the knowing that comes with nineteenth century love, that forever is a promise, not something that just sounds pleasant and has an expiration date. I want the linking of fingers, the pressing together of a palm to another palm while we dance to music that no one can hear but the two of us. I want even my atoms to be aware of when he's near. I just want to be aware of him, always. The love I want is a love that I will write of to my grandchildren when I'm eighty and I'll write in my will that when we both die they will string them all together into a makeshift book and maybe sell it for ten cents to an antiquities shop or lay it to rest at our grave. And I hope, if they do that, it will sink down into the grass above our heads and flowers will grow and our love will be eternal, forever, for always. 

No, no, no, never in a million years. I hope I only fall in love once. I don't understand how people can do it more than that but it isn't envy I feel towards them. I think that's the only way to make a relationship work, by continuing to fall in love over and over again with just one person. And I believe it's absolutely possible. It's not silly. It's hopeful. It's boundless love.