suddenly having free time on his hands shouldnât feel as novel as it does. it shouldnât be a rare thing, leaving hyunseok at a loss of what to do with it. heâs used to staying occupied, whether by choice or design. the sole perk of having a busy schedule means that he always knows what he needs to do nextâheâs always moving forward in the direction of some goal, instead of wandering aimlessly. and yet tonight, wandering aimlessly is exactly what heâs doing.
with his hands jammed in his pockets, hyunseok weaves through the halls of the legacy building with no real goal in mind. since the restaurant closed abruptly for the evening, he doesnât have any pressing obligations to take care of. the next best thing after work is to try squeeze some extra dance practice inâor lie in bed, but hyunseok feels guilty about wasting the time he has on hand. he needs to be productive in some way even when heâs meant to be ârelaxingâ or heâll be left with the vague sense of failure because he couldâve done moreâand chose not to.
(âi think this is what we call a sickness,â his older sister comments. Â âyou need to learn how to chill.â
âiâm chill,â hyunseok responds, even though sheâs right and heâs never âchilledâ a day in his life.)
this is how he likes to do things: he needs a sense of accomplishment to fully relax. but that might prove hard to find tonight. a crease forms in between his eyebrows as he passes by the occupied practice rooms. most, if not all, are full with the evening sessions trainees working hard. on some level, hyunseok shouldâve anticipated this, but he rarely stays beyond the end of the morning training sessions. trying to gauge how busy the building would be at this hour completely slipped his mind, and now he feels like heâs doomed to just lurk outside various rooms and waste time until people start leaving. the guilt, the vague sense of urgency (you should be doing something) is already forming in the back of his mind.
but hyunseok hits a hard pause on those feelings when he spots a familiar face leaving the practice room for dinner break. really, this one hour is his best chance of getting some practice in tonight, but he feels like itâs been a while since he last had the chance to talk to meng. heâll always have a soft spot in his heart for people who joined the company at the same time as he didâtheyâre comrades-in-arms, or something like that. meng, hyunseok remembers, had some specific challenges to deal with, and heâs always felt the need to watch over her, just in case she needs help. though more than that, heâs just happy to see her doing well.
âmeng!â he calls out, waving brightly before falling into step with her. âare you going to grab some dinner? mind i join you?â for all the emphasis on productivity, heâd gladly reject it to spend time with a friend. âi was just hanging around andâyou know, i havenât seen you in a while! we should catch up.â