#leys old posts

#10

Cons:

-Having an irrational fear of thinking the wrong things, like you think of something you shouldn't be thinking of or you have an opinion that might be wrong ( I try to ignore it but it's annoying after all )

-Wanting to fit in and belong somewhere but failing everytime I try

-Talking before thinking

-Not good at starting conversions

-Being anxious

-Being afraid to loose grip and slip into a mental disorder or other kind of toxic behavior/thoughts

-Losing that "everything" that I have

-Being too sincere

-Being fascinated about characters that are all fucked up and wanting to help but wanting to cry in compassion and overwhelmth when you hear about such story in real life and thinking about it for days until it hurts less

-Not being able to deal with reality and rather living in my own imagination and idealism

-Not being able to say something out loud but always having to write it down before

-Having a hard time living in the moment

-Being proud of something I accomplished for a few minutes before perfectionism hits in and I want to make it better although I know its good already

-Trying to find intimacy both emotional and physical and connection but withdraw as soon as I feel slightly insecure or feel like I bother someone or like the chemistry doesn't fit and it's useless to put more effort in that relationship cause it won't even end in normal friendship

-Having so many projects but ending up doing none of that

-Nostalgica for older days

-Being afraid that there's a dark part about myself you don't know of, or forgot about something in my past

-Floating without grip

-Procrastination

-Cutting uncomfortable feelings and thoughts off

-Being unable to make decisions

-My mind easily influences my body when I'm stressed or excited or when there lies something unknown before me

-Being stubborn

-Avoiding conflict

Pros:

-Staying true to myself

-Being not judgmental (I am very judgmental at first sight and I interpret a lot but im also able to shove that prejudices aside and accept people as who they are, as soon as I know them better)

-Being loyal to my friends

-Feeling things deeply

-Being willing to improve myself

-Mostly seeing the good in things

-Being able to have deep thoughts but don't let myself be caught in this darkness

-Smiling at strangers

-Being able to start smiling and being happy out of nowhere

- Being able to see things objective

-Trying to understand others reasons

-Being aware of my perks

-Being able to connect dots between situations

-Seeing things from many perspectives

-Being able to appreciate little things and moments

-Having a deep sense of harmony

-Loving my life

-Being honest with myself

-Being able to amuse myself with my own thoughts

-Still believing

-Being able to differ between dreamworld and reality

-Being able to set boundaries

-(Most of the time) Not stressing out on being the best/having to fuction, going by is just enough sometimes

-Being passionate about a lot of stuff

-Selfreflecting all the time (could also count as con)

-Not comparing myself to others very much

-Having a dirty and also very funny mind

-Being proud of who I am

-Knowing that bad times will pass

-Not taking things for granted

Bonus:

-Loving to write and create things and singing like no ones listening

-Wanting to learn many languages

-Having a whole lot is interests

ADDITION:

I love colors

I love my cats

I love music

I love emotions

I love the smell of home and the feeling of home when I sit outside on a balmy summer night at a fireplace and I close my eyes and just live in the moment

I love spring and fall when warm winds blows through my hair and pets my skin

And I love Life.