Aug 5, 2025
ah. new low. sobbing on my bedroom floor while the best friends I thought would dump me in an instant 3 hours ago try to reach me through discord
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ah. new low. sobbing on my bedroom floor while the best friends I thought would dump me in an instant 3 hours ago try to reach me through discord
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I knew it. sure everything seems great for a moment and I have all my friends and I’m laughing but sooner or later they’ll get tired of me and wonder why they ever wanted to be friends with me in the first place. Maybe I’m too annoying to have friends. Or maybe I’m too self sabotaging to ever think that maybe for ONCE someone will continue to be my friend until we are forced to part ways. It hasn’t even happened yet but I KNOW that one day who I am won’t be enough and I’ll be left alone. Again.
WELL MAYBE I DON’T WANT TO CALM DOWN. MAYBE I JUST WANT YOU TO TELL ME MY FEELINGS ARE VALID AND HOLD ME WHILE I CRY UNTIL EVERYTHING’S OKAY! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TRUST MY ABILITY TO FEEL AND KNOW WHAT I’M FEELING?
I’m not even fucking creative why do people follow me on my main
sure I can sort of draw or whatever sure I can write fanfics but I can’t come up with funny things. all of the people I idolize are so funny and original and how do I match that? I’m not naturally likeable. I can barely talk to my own teammates without them thinking I’m a loser.
AND I KNOW. I’ve got things pretty good. But then I make ONE MISTAKE and it all comes crashing down. all of a sudden it’s all I see all I hear and I’ve bent to make myself up to everyone’s standards like this is fucking embarrassing you know?
how do people have no shame and how do I become like them? everything I do I worry about what other people will think. There’s no “just decide not to care!” that’s not how my brain works I just can’t fucking do it how do I appease everyone so I never have to worry about it all
how do I make people have no issues with me how how how how how I need to know and I’m being deadass.