#letthetearsfall

Chapter 4: I lose my way when you look away

I had hurt my sweet Jimin a boy who really loved me and wanted to share his life with me.  How could I have drunk so much that I lost myself and my mind. Sure Yoongi was attractive but I hardly knew him.  Why did he have to act like we were lost soul mates that had finally found each other? Was this a game for him to pick up girls? My heart ached so much because I realized I had lost both. The only thing left to do would be to try to talk to Jimin.  I would give him a chance to cool down and then beg him to forgive me. I wanted him back, my sweet Jimi. I wanted nothing to do with Yoongi. Or so I thought.  My subconscious was not so cooperative.  That night I cried myself to sleep. When I finally must have passed out, I had a dream that I was on a trip with Yoongi.  We were holding hands as we walked on the beach at the edge of the water.  I felt drowsy and warm like I was floating on the ground.  Whenever I glanced at him he was looking at me with a sweet smile the sunset reflecting in his eyes, and I felt so content.  The stars came out and the moonlight illuminated his face much like it did on this night I was desperately trying to forget.  

When I woke up I could still feel the sweetness of the dream. Awake I could fool myself into believing Yoongi was a bad guy that just wanted a one night stand with one of his groupies.  Just a fleeting thing that didn’t mean anything, but I knew I was the guilty one.  Ashamed, that I didn’t deserve either of them.  I picked up my phone to see if Jimin had messaged me.  I was getting really worried about him so I tried to call him.  He didn’t answer.  I was a mess. I hardly slept and I couldn’t eat but I also couldn’t sit there and do nothing. I needed to know if he was alright. I decided to ask Yoongi if Jimin was home and ok.  I couldn’t bring myself to call him and I don’t think he would answer me.  The way he left not even looking at me made me feel like trash.  I felt he regretted being with me and couldn’t bring himself to even look at me.  I sent the text and waited.  Maybe he would answer, I hoped. Nervously I stared at my phone begging him to please answer.  After a minute I heard the ding of a message.  My hands were shaking and I nearly dropped the phone.  What would Yoongi say to me? I took a deep breath and read, “Yes” was all he said.  “Are you okay?” I asked.  “No, please don’t text me or call me again, I don’t know anything and I think you should forget me.” He replied. The blood drained from my face and I dropped the phone. I stood there numb with the realization that it was over before it even started.  Tears fell from my eyes as I stood there. But exactly who was I crying about?

All week, Jimin did not come to class and wouldn’t return my calls. I hoped he had at least made up with Yoongi but I doubted it.  As I passed by the coffee shop where Yoongi worked I saw his bike outside. I wanted to see Yoongi but I was too chicken to walk in.

 I stood outside and saw him through the plate-glass window.  He noticed me and looked back.  I blushed embarrassed that he caught me looking for him. For a while we just stared at each other until someone walked up to him and broke the spell.  I waited outside sitting at one of the small café tables but he never came out.  Defeated I finally left and made my way to the familiar studio where Jimin and I practiced.  

It was Friday morning as I walked in and heard music coming from the back studio.  It was Jimin’s music playing and sure enough there he was dancing by himself.  I walked slowly to the door.  I missed him so much I didn’t want him to notice me yet. He looked thinner but still so beautiful with his lovely muscular legs he danced so gracefully.  He walked over to the mirror when the song changed leaning his head and softly singing to himself.  He looked sad but so soft and beautiful. I walked up to him and he was startled. He returned my gaze a little embarrassed.  “Your voice is so lovely.” I praised.  “Please sing for me.” Hurriedly I added.  “I love you Jimin!” “Please forgive me!”  I wanted him to say he still loved me, but he didn’t.

Just then the other dancers started to walk in and greeted us.  Hoseok was the first to hug Jimin and ask him if he was doing better. 

The rest of them asked him how he was feeling glancing between us trying to figure out what was going on.  I hadn’t said anything because I didn’t know myself really. After those first awkward hellos we proceeded as usual except Jimin hardly spoke to me.  He even left during our break giving me no chance to talk to him.  When everyone started to leave I decided to follow him home and quietly walked next to him.  He finally stopped and asked me what I was doing.  “We need to talk”, I said. “Can we go to your house and talk privately please?”, I asked.  I was nervous and worried about what he might say so I added, “let’s stop and get some take-out and we can eat before we talk ok?”  “Fine,” he answered with a shrug.

We walked into his apartment and I started taking the food out of the bags.  Jimin got some beer out of the fridge and opened it taking a big gulp.  “Eat well”, I said offering him a plate.  He took it from me and stared at it.  My Jimi looked so sad I wanted to hug him. How could I have hurt him so badly. We started to eat but I couldn’t take it anymore. Tears started to fall from my eyes.  I wiped them with my hand and he looked at me with big sad eyes.  “I’m sorry Jimin,” my voice hitched.  “I love you. Yoongi means nothing to me.  I was drunk, please forgive me my love!” I pleased. “I’m losing my mind trying to prove to you my feelings are real!”  He reached out and hugged me.  I started to bawl as he caressed my hair.  He held me close until my sobs died down.

In the other room, Yoongi dropped himself on his bed shaking his head.  All he could hear were my sobs and the words, “Yoongi means nothing to me!”

Chapter 1: The Spark

It was closing time at the Crème Cafe where Yoongi works. The customers had finally dwindled and he had almost finished cleaning up. Yoongi couldn’t wait to get off. He was excited today because it was open mic night at the club he and his friends liked to frequent and he was looking forward to surprising them with his new rap. “His friend Rapmon was going to be impressed,” he thought, with a smile on his face. Actually he was more excited to see his reaction than anyone else’s. Rapmon and Yoongi sometimes worked together on their raps asking each other for feedback, but lately he had been working so much he didn’t have time to meet up with his best friend. Tonight the whole gang from high school was going to be there and Jimin said he was bringing his new girlfriend to meet us. Finally, since he talked so much about her saying she was a dancer like him and so talented. Yoongi lived with Jimin but both were so busy with jobs and school that lately they rarely saw each other even at home.

He was just getting ready to leave when a customer came through the door. “Sorry we’re closed,” Yoongi said as he looked up from his stuff. He flicked his newly bleached blond hair out of his eyes as he looked up at her. “Oh please, I just need to charge my phone so I can call and Uber, “ she explained. They stared at each other for a few moments and then Yoongi spoke up, “Ok, give me your phone and I will put it to charge.” As he reached out to grab it he said, “I don’t have much time cause I have to be somewhere, but I can’t say no to such a pretty girl.” “Thank you, she replied, glancing down from his eyes to his name tag. “Min Yoongi,” she said with a bright smile. Yoongi thought not just pretty, she was just his type, with a laid back sexy style. “Sure, no problem,” Yoongi answered tilting his head in a manner she found cute.

 In fact she thought he was very cute. As he wiped the counter he looked up at her from under his wispy bangs and smiled when their eyes met again. “Would you like a coffee while you wait?” he asked. “No thanks I don’t want to give you more work. Can I have a water please? I’m sorry to be a bother.” “Do you live around here?” he asked. “Not too far, but I go to school around here at a dance academy. My name is Sunny, by the way, nice to meet you.”

Just then her phone vibrated. “I’ll go get it.” He said and turned around. She watched him with interest as he walked to the back of the shop. Suddenly he got the idea to put his number in her phone as a cute way to let her know he was interested. He did so quickly as he walked back to her and handed her the phone. “Oh thanks you’re a life saver, Min Yoongi,” she smiled, “I have to go, bye!” As she was leaving to request an Uber, Yoongi said, “Stop by sometime and I’ll make you a great cappuccino.” Ok she nodded with a warm smile. Yoongi smiled back and grabbed his helmet and keys to leave the shop. When she got in the Uber she looked at her phone’s contact page to call her boyfriend, Jimin. There was a new contact, “coffee shop boy, Min Yoongi.” She opened the contact and there was his cute face looking up at her. She smiled.