#lettertothefuture

January 4th, 2016

Over the years (22 as of right now), I’ve learned that boys/men will come and go throughout my life. And I’ll meet many different kinds. Some I’d like to punch, some I’d like to kiss, and one I’d like to make my husband. You. In advance I’d like to apologize (What a great start to a letter, right?). I’d like to apologize for the moments I’ll get mad because you woke me up before 10 AM on a weekend. (Okay let’s be real, I like to sleep in until noon, so 10 is pushing it). I’d like to apologize for the times I’ll get upset when you have to work crazy hours at work. Truth is I just want to spend time with you, and I look forward to every moment we have to spend together. So when that time gets taken away, I become sad...and mad...not at you, but at your work. But it’ll seem like I’m mad at you because that’s probably what you’ll assume. (That’s what guys do. They assume. Just kidding. Or not). Anyway, I’d like to apologize for the times I forget to do something for you. Pack your lunch, wash your favorite shirt, pick up something from the store, whatever it is. I most likely didn’t forget, I just didn’t want to do it. (Just kidding). I probably forgot about it because I’m busy trying to contribute to our family too (even if it’s just the 2 of us). Although I’m sure you’re laughing at this now, and understanding exactly why I apologized for all of that, I’d like to move on. Even though we’ll have our spats, and our moments where we basically want to murder one another, just know that I’ll never murder you because I’ll be sad that you’re gone. (Nobody is going to want to marry me after this lmao). But for reals (that’s the lingo now), just know I’ll love you unconditionally now and forever. Know that when you’re sick I’ll want to make you feel better. When you’re stressed I’ll want to alleviate it. When you’re angry or sad I’ll want to make you laugh. When you’re not funny, I’ll still laugh at  your jokes. When you’re upset I’ll want to fix things. Whatever you are, I’ll be there. I’ll be by your side when the going gets tough. When the world turns its back on you and you feel like there’s no light left in sight, I want to be that light that shines to bring you back on track. I want to be that someone who motivates you to be more than you ever thought you could be and helps you achieve more than you could dream (and I hope I’ve lived up to that already). I hope I’ve already had surprise Nerf gun wars with you. I hope I’ve already left you sweet notes in your lunch bag, or on my pillow when I had to wake up before you. I hope I’ve surprised you enough over time to never know what I’ve got planned next. I hope I’ve scared you enough times that you slowly peep through the doorway before you walk into a room. I hope I’ve given you endless amounts of hugs and kisses. I hope I’ve made enough jokes to make you laugh daily (at least). I hope I’ve screamed because I saw a spider and let you be a man and save me from it (even if you might’ve been scared of it too). I hope I’ve stared at you, admiring  you, and you’ve asked what I was looking at, and I just said “nothing” and smiled at least a thousand times, because all of these things and more are how I prove how much I love you. I hope everything I’ve done has made you believe that you wouldn’t want to live life with anyone else by your side because I want nothing more than you, now and forever.

Love Always,

Your Future Wife

Das...

I'm going to actually start posting stuff on this blog, make it into a nice little rats nest of collected junk, words, and coffee stains rather than letting it sit frozen.

So to my future self, welcome to the past. This is the sort of shit you loved. The sort of shit you wrote. The sort of shit you put up with on a daily basis. Now you have two journals to read. Hopefully this one is still compatible with the current technology. It'll be a shame if it's not.

Doing this because I just saw a post from someone about a letter to their kids and I thought, "what the hell?" (please don't judge me because of this. haha.) So... yeah, here it goes... To my kids,  I won't really hate you, I may be disappointed or annoyed or pissed at the choices you will make in your life whatever that may be, but I will never hate you, because no parent will ever hate their child. Remember that, and that remember that very well, especially at times when I'm angry. 

I want you guys to grow up as very... active individuals, which means I don't want you to be slaves to the technology of today (or the future, whatever floats your boat) (It's also funny to think that the topic of the letter of that someone was this as well) (yeah, I put in consecutive parentheses to display my inner thoughts, sue me.). I want you guys to play a sport (basketball, or football would be nice) really well, or play a musical instrument really well, or learn how to dance really well, or just be able to express yourself really well (forgive me if I keep stressing on the word "really well", I don't want you guys to be mediocre at what you do). I do not want your ability to express yourself to be limited by the taps of the keyboard or the clicks of the mouse (would we still have a mouse in the future, I wonder). We have our words, we have our hands, we have our bodies, and we have our minds to create something beautiful. What I'm just saying is... there is a world out there worth living for and I will not let my child limit themselves to a window when they could go outside and experience the whole landscape. 

I want you guys to be really good at what you do, whether it be in academics or in extra-curricular activities or whatever, as long as it's legal. So, forgive me if you think I'm pushing you too hard or I'm being too strict with you. I promise it'll all be worth it in the end. I will not let my child become neither a spoiled brat nor a laggard. You guys have too much potential for it to go to waste.

I want you guys to be religious, but I also want you guys to be critical thinkers. I want you to know the difference between right and wrong, not what will please the people around you and what won't. I'm thinking that your time would be a time of too much liberation that we may forget what's really important. Allow me to teach you what's important: family, love, respect, wisdom, and a lot more. Let me be the one to teach you all those.

I want you guys to appreciate good music. No child of mine would listen to stupid nonsensical music riddled with autotune and repetitive lyrics. I want you guys to appreciate the music of my generation like Snow Patrol, Coldplay, Joshua Radin, Maroon 5, etc.

I want you guys to love life, all of it. From the greatest of joys to the heaviest of sorrows, feel every fiber of those emotions. Yes, it'll hurt, it won't feel good, but that is life, the essence of it all. Remember all those fleeting moments and let it serve as a reminder for you, and an advice for others as you all go through this passage of life.