#let bartlet be bartlet

So this is totally not what I normally write but it had to be done.

Ao3

Josh rushes into the Oval Office lobby.

“You’re late,” Debbie states sternly.

“I know,” Josh says. He bends over and places his hands on his knees, panting.

“I’ll let him know you’re here.” She crosses the room and opens the door to the Oval Office. “Josh has arrived,” she tells the President.

“Josh! You’re here!” Bartlet says, inviting Josh into the office. “Where were you?”

“There was this thing with Donna. She was about to go walk her dog when I couldn’t find a memo she put on my desk. Turns out I was holding it the entire time.”

“Donna got a dog?” Bartlet asks, circling behind his desk.

“About a month ago.”

Bartlet nods his head. “What breed?”

“German Shepherd — I think.”

“Okay. Is it house trained?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well then call her and ask.”

“But, sir, don’t we have other things to discus-“

“Josh, this is valuable information.”

Josh sighs. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out his phone, and dials Donna’s number.

She picks up. “Did you lose another memo?”

“No,” Josh replies, “the president wants to know if George is house trained.”

“You’re not saying it right, Josh. You need to say his full name.”

Even though Donna won’t be able to see it, Josh rolls his eyes. “Fine. The president wants to know if George Washingbone is house trained.”

“Yes, he is, Josh. He’s a rescue pup from the shelter.”

Josh looks up at the president. “She says that he is house trained.”

“Can I talk to her?” Bartlet asks, extending his arm to take Josh’s phone. “Donna?” He says with the phone agianst his ear.

“Mr. President?” Donna responds, mildly startled. “If you don’t mind me asking, Sir, why did you want to know if George Washingbone was house trained?”

“It is valuable information. You know, the West Wing could be helped by the presence of a dog. That would be fun, I think. It would also drive Toby nuts, but that’s just an added bonus. There should be more animals in this White House. I could have brought some horses from the farm. Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, Jackson, and Grant all had horses in the White House.”

“That’s very interesting, Mr. President. I’m almost home. I’ll bring George Washingbone right over.” Donna ends the call.

Josh takes his phone back from the president. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

• Sam: “It’s not gonna rain till one, maybe two o’clock. I got this from the US coast guard. I got this from the national weather service. They use satellites. They use technology.”

*thunder claps and rain starts pouring*

Toby: ...

• “We should move the thing inside.”

“Sam says it’s probably not gonna rain till later.” 😂😂

• ohhh this is when the opposition memo Mandy wrote about Bartlet gets around

• “Can we get this godforsaken event over with so I can go back to presiding over a civilization gone to hell?”

• Bartlet and Mrs Landingham arguing

“You don’t get enough roughage in your diet and you know I’m right about that.”

“I know I’d like to beat you senseless with a head of cabbage.”

• “CJ, are you taller than you usually are?”

“No sir I’m my usual height.”

Ha I forgot about that exchange I love it. I always forget how tall Allison Janney is and how short Martin Sheen is until they’re next to each other

• “As I look out over this magnificent vista...”

Sam and Toby’s reactions 😂😂😂

• Josh’s not realizing Donna called him baby until like 10 seconds later

• “You’re trying to change the nature of democracy.”

“You’re right. I’m gonna need a bagel.”

• the first few times I watched this episode, it was so easy to be mad at Mandy for writing the opposition paper because a.) we’re supposed to be rooting for the Bartlet administration and b.) it was also made easy by the fact that she’s pretty unlikable. rewatching now (and maybe the last time) it’s obvious she was just doing her job. people write opposition memos all the time. but here’s where I’m kinda confused cause Mandy says “you gotta remember how pissed off I was at you guys” so maybe she made the memo personal by attacking them in it?

• margaret crashing the entire email server because she forwarded an email about the calorie count in the raisin muffins

• oh geez the gays in the military plot. forgot about this too. this wasn’t even that long ago and it’s so uncomfortable who the hell cares what your sexual orientation is? They want to serve their country! I do remember Fitzwallace comes in and sets them straight (no pun intended)

• I gotta say tho why is there shrimp on the table?? What kinda appetizer is that for a meeting? Do they know how messy shrimp are to eat? It’s finger food! You have to pick the shells off- y’know what nevermind it doesn’t matter.

• Easter eggs in Gail’s fishbowl (I didn’t realize this was an Easter episode or took place around Easter)

• lol it’s still raining

• omg one of the dudes Josh went to meet with about nominating two fec commissioners is so smug and annoying

• “He said it’s made of almost entirely of vegetables.”

“Yes it’s a salad, Charlie.”

• “Charlie, tell the president he will eat his salad. If he doesn’t like it, he knows where to put his salad.”

Only Mrs Landingham can say that

• interesting they brought up “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” since that was implemented under Clinton yet Clinton isn’t recognized as a president in this show

• “I don’t like your sense of humor.”

“I get that a lot.”

Once again I love Toby

• I like how when Toby’s getting up to see CJ he tells Sam to get up and come with him to the doorway so he can tell him he’s doing a good job

• “What are you doing in my office when I’m not there?”

“Looking for you out the window.”

Same energy as:

• god damn Josh you really jumped down Donna’s throat she’s heLPING YOU

• Donna mentioned Mandy’s opposition memo when they were outside of Josh’s office while Mandy was in Josh’s office...I wonder if she heard Donna

• doesn’t Danny’s paper have the memo?

• wow the military people actually ate the shrimp!? I mean ok I would too but I’d feel so awkward doing it

• lol I love how the one military guy mumbles “oh my god” when fitzwallace enters the room.

• wait that’s a danish?! that’s not shrimp?? Y’all I’m having a mental breakdown over the goddamn food in this meeting

• “That’s what they were saying about me 50 years ago. Blacks shouldn’t serve with whites. It would disrupt the unit. You know what? It did disrupt the unit. The unit got over it. The unit changed.”

• oop yeah Danny has it and refuses to not print it

• god everything Danny just said to CJ was brutal and right. It’s not the media’s fault the administration isnt doing well. And he has every right to print the story. It’s literally his job.

• Margaret accused of being a hacker skaldjah

• “Margaret thinks the FBI’s gonna bust in here any minute.”

• aw my sad exhausted family. they look so defeated.

•Charlie walking into Leo’s office like who just died?

• this scene with Bartlet and Leo is amazing and well acted aldksksj why do all the best fights take place in the oval???

• Charlie just standing in the corner the entire time they argue. god I would’ve died

• also Bartlet says “You came to my house, Leo, and you said “Jed, let’s run for President.” but in Bartlet for America Leo shows up at his office