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Motivation is slowly coming back, Seeing as I have pride and my daughter back!! I miss working and/or going to school.... but everytime I have the chance to work towards that (do my resume or study/research) I don't! I just watch Netflix, nap or scroll on my phone! I'll get back to it! I will!!
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So... I went out last night and met someone like me! Open minded and it was all so unfuckingbelievably real!! It was great... it's crazy how you think you'll be empty in an empty room but it's just such a relief!!! Feeling better and better every day!
okay so my first fear is that minimalism is gonna make me lazier... today iāve spent 3 hours in bed... letās see how long this lasts..
iāve been non stop going for a while... my daughter just turned 1 and canada day and yea... i feel like this is okay for now... as long as it doesnāt last to long! i donāt even feel like posting haha
self challenge #1
this one is for 90 days!
Iāve been purging a lot lately and this time i will move things in a way that if they havenāt been used after 90 days i will decide how to get rid of them...Ā
a little background story!
Iāve always been one to hold on to things in a way that if i got rid of something it meant that I got rid of everything related to it. Memories, relationships, just everything.
my current counsellor had mentioned how Iām someone that feels so much and make excuses for people and so on. Basically I donāt know how to deal with things because I hoard all these feelings and emotions.
I just recently got my own place. My first apartment ON MY OWN. (I have a daughter that is here half the time but you know what I mean!) When I got my own place all I moved in with was my clothe and my daughters stuff.. Immediately everyones first instinct was to help me getĀ āEVERYTHING I NEEDEDā... I had just left a good relationship, before that I had lived at home with my parents briefly, before that with my exās parents on the reserve in Montreal, before that me and her had an apartment, before that I stayed at some family friends and before that I lived with my parents in Timmins and before that a few places in Montreal.... My point is, although I didnāt move as much as a lot of people do, every time I moved there were things that were left behind, forgotten, lost... I was never able to bring everything I wanted and this time I was thinking to myself, Letās start fresh! I have a roof over my head and health! Thatās a damn good start if you ask me! People wanted to give me so many things! I got all the furniture I need and more and all the little things I wont necessarily need either...Ā
Me and my mom were going through a big clean up. Selling and giving away all the things we donāt use anymore... the stuff thatās in storage and the stuff thatās just put away in the house... and thatās really when it hit me... When am I going to use this? Who am I going to show this to? All the memories and emotions that are attached to things will forever be in my heart and are in no way more or less with an object.
Iāve went through a lot of things a lot of times... and every time the keep pile gets smaller... currently Iām keeping only the things I know Iāll use and the things I would absolutely love to be able to show my daughter. The things I was keeping for myself will be in my heart only and with that, the weight on my shoulder has lifted!
