#lesbophobiais

All right, first of all, I apologise for the ominous announcement that I made recently. I did not mean to worry people nor make it sound quite so dark. The main reason why I posted it like that is because I know Tumblr well enough to know how this is going to be received and as somebody that lives with a multitude of mental health conditions and a survivor, I needed to do something that vaguely maintains my safety because I instinctively know that the response to this is likely to be death and rape threats; it is something I have seen so many times before.

Despite the potential threats I face by doing this, this is too important to ignore for any longer. I cannot allow myself to ignore it for any longer. I gave in to pressure. I gave in to fear. I gave in to threats. When I first started this blog, I received threats for the first week or so until I made an announcement that basically gave in to those threats. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing; I thought that I was being a good person and that this was most certainly the best way to run this blog.

Since then, I have realised just how much harm I was doing and am doing by running this blog in this way. I know this is a situation where I am just not going to be able to win. When I first set out the rules for this blog, I lost a number of followers; a number of lesbians left because this blog no longer felt like a safe space to them. I had betrayed and alienated the women for whom I set up this blog and I apologise so deeply for that.

The thing is, I know that the stance I am taking now will also lose me followers; that others will declare it an unsafe space and further more will leave in protest. Now, my concern is not with numbers or followers, that has never been my concern. All I have ever wanted to do was set up a safe space for lesbians to discuss their experiences of lesbophobia but as I said already, I alienated so many lesbians, I made this place unsafe for them.

As you can probably tell, I am avoiding saying the thing I came here to actually say. I am actually that scared of saying it because I really have seen so many times what has happened to others that have said the same or similar. So I guess the best way I can move on from here is to just say it.

From now on, this blog will be prioritising lesbians. That might not seem much different than anything I have said before, but I will clarify. By lesbians, I mean females who are exclusively attracted to females; I mean women who were born women. This might make me transmisogynistic, this might make me cissphobic and by no means do I want to affect anyone with dysphoria.

I believe that we all grow up with different socialisations; I believe that it is almost impossible to unlearn what we have been socialised with; I believe that lesbians who are female live a very different reality to trans women and that trans women will never fully be able to understand due to that socialisation. This is not meant as an attack on trans women; it is simply a recognition of different lived experiences.

The way I view gender is simple. We are all born and shoved into two tiny boxes; 'boy' and 'girl', 'man' and 'woman'. One of those boxes is incredibly tiny and oppressive and it is a box we are forced in from birth. Despite dysphoria, despite how some may feel; trans women are brought up and treated as a member of the other box and whilst I might never fully be able to understand that experience, I believe that trans women can never fully understand the experience of being brought up socialised as female.

By extension of this, whilst some trans women may experience some forms of lesbophobia, I believe that they will never be able to understand the full lived reality of being a woman and more specifically of being a lesbian woman. A lot of our experiences are perceived and processed through the lens of experiences we have had in the past; being brought up with male socialisation means you have a very different lens.

Sexuality means sexual based attraction; it means attraction based on sex. I am attracted to women, females. My attraction is not based off of make-up or dresses or any other tools of patriarchy forced upon us in the name of femininity. Frankly, as a GNC lesbian, I find it incredibly offensive to be told that my sexuality should be based off of gender because that definition excludes me from my own womanhood; it excludes other GNC and butch lesbians from their own womanhood. This is not about limiting people to their genitals; I would never do that to another woman, ever and yes, I know the age old argument of you might never know what is in someone else's pants until you get there, but that does not change the fact that sexuality is based on sex, not gender.

I know there is no point explaining or justifying my position completely. I know that a lot of you are considering sending hate to my inbox right now, if you have not already (you will find that anon has been turned off, by the way).

Things are going to move on from here as follows -

I will no longer be accepting submissions along the lines of 'Lesbophobia is people telling me I'm not a lesbian because my girlfriend is trans.'

'Lesbophobia is people telling me that I'm not a lesbian because I have a penis.'

I will no longer be accepting submissions specifically about trans issues.

That does not mean I will be accepting violent threats against trans women.

All such submissions will be screenshotted, deleted and for all the use Tumblr is, senders will be 'ignored'.

I will be updating the blog description and generally doing an overhaul some point soon.

This blog is meant to be a safe space for lesbians and I will do the best I can to maintain that. If you feel unsafe here as a result of this, I encourage you to unfollow. Feel free to rant about me in posts, tag me in them, whatever, but I will kindly ask you to keep the hate out of my inbox because this is a safe space for lesbians to share their experiences of lesbophobia.

If you feel unsafe here as a result of this, I encourage you to set up your own blog to discuss trans lesbian issues; I have no qualms with that, it will just not be a priority here on LesbophobiaIs.

If you politely and non-threateningly wish to discuss this with me, you are welcome to send in asks on that basis, but as I said, all hate messages and all threats will be instantly deleted. Anon is off and I will be tracking and paying attention to all movement on this blog for the next few days at least. Prior to deletion, all threats will be screenshotted and held as receipts.