#ler!ivan

Being the oldest in the cast meant he had a role to play, to be the model for the younger and less experienced artists that worked with him. As a professional, Till couldn't say one stood out more than the other — they were all talented, yes. But, personally… there was this weird feeling always drawing his attention to Ivan.

He sat on the ground in a distant corner behind the cameras, but a good spot to watch the recording set. His eyes followed Ivan like the cameras' lens, capturing his every move and feeling his chest a little tighter, his heart beating a little out of pace.

Was age catching up to him? Was Ivan going to give him a heart attack out of stress from those constant mistakes whenever they acted together? Was he really simply getting sick?

While keeping himself busy with one thought after the other, Till failed to notice his hoobae leaving the stage and walking towards him. When he came back to his senses, Ivan was already dropping himself close to him — really, really close to him. "Ahhh, I'm so tired," he whined, "how do you keep making one shot after the other like that, Till-sunbae?"

"You… get used to it," Till smiled softly, slightly. He rested his head back against the wall and looked to the dark ceiling. "You'll build some more stamina over time. You're just tired because this is your first big project, right?"

"Yeah," Ivan sighed, but seemed glad with the answer. This model role thing was harder than Till first thought. Even in moments like this, he had to ponder about his words, making sure to not push the cast down with the wrong answers. "You're so cool, Till-sunbae! ~"

Throb.

There, there was it. That weird, foreign feeling that had been haunting Till since they started recording this show. He looked at Ivan and shook his head, hoping it would shake off the feeling too.

"Are you feeling sick, Till-sunbae?"

"Hm?" Till blinked, snapping out of his daydreaming again, for the third or forth time that day. "Y-yeah, why?"

"You… you're a little red."

Damn it!

"Oh, hahah," Till faked a cough, looking away. "My scenes are next. I'm just a little nervous and, ahm, it's hot in here too, right?"

Ivan nodded, but didn't seem quite satisfied with the answer this time. "Do you need help to loose up? I learned a new trick these days!"

"Sure, what is it?"

Something about the way Ivan smiled made a shiver run down Till's spine. Was it too late to go back and say he changed his mind? Then, again, Ivan looked so… happy to be able to help him, he couldn't really turn him down now, could he?

"Ok, so, first: close your eyes," Till nodded and pressed his eyes shut. "Hold your hands behind your head," and Till followed the instructions again. Was it some kind of stretching exercise?

"Now count to three."

"Sigh, one… two… threehEHEY— AHahah, I-Ivahahan?!"

Till quickly pulled his arms back down and pressed them against his sides, trying to stop Ivan's hands from tickling him any further, but all it seemed to do was to trap them under his arms. "S-stohohop! It tihihickles, you brahahat!"

"You have to count back down now, Till-sunbae! Or it won't work!"

He was just making up stuff now, Till was sure of it. He was already laying down on the ground, laughing like a stupid kid and probably calling the whole studio's attention, but why couldn't he get mad at Ivan? Why it felt nice to be around him, even like this?!

"Y-you bahAhas— agh, fihihine!" Till shook his head, his feet kicking behind Ivan as his hoobae moved into his lap. "O-ohone, two, threehee! Stohohop!"

"You can't stutter, Till-sunbae, try again!"

Till groaned, his hands tightly holding Ivan's arms as he had no one but himself to curse for falling for such a lame trick. At least, he thought, he would have a better excuse for his flushed cheeks when this was over…

Their shared apartment was rarely quiet, but tonight it was downright chaotic. “Ivan, no!!” Till’s voice rang out, bubbly and high with laughter already, as he bolted down the hallway in his socks, nearly slipping as he turned a sharp corner. Ivan’s footsteps were close behind, the sound of long strides closing the distance with every passing second.

“You better run faster than that Till,” Ivan called, his tone darkly playful, “because once I catch you, you’re done!” Till squealed again, breathless from the laughter already bubbling in his chest. “I didn’t do anything!! You can’t prove it!!” “Oh, really?” Ivan said, grinning as he picked up speed. “So the missing last slice of strawberry cake just vanished on its own, huh?”

“That could’ve been anyone!” “It was literally labeled ‘Ivan’s - Do Not Touch.’” “That’s very vague!” Ivan laughed just as Till turned into the living room and, without even slowing down, grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and launched it backwards with expert precision.

Ivan caught it right in the face with a surprised grunt. “Argh!” he barked, staggering for half a second before shaking it off and charging forward again. “Oh, that’s it!” Till screamed playfully, throwing himself over the couch arm and scrambling onto the cushions like it was a lifeboat. But Ivan was already there, looming over him like a villain from a drama.

“No no no, waitwaitwait-!” Till babbled, trying to roll away. Too late. With a smooth pounce, Ivan straddled him, pinning him flat against the couch cushions. He grabbed both of Till’s wrists in one hand, holding them gently but firmly above his head. His other hand hovered ominously over Till’s torso.

“You should’ve picked any other day to steal my dessert,” Ivan said, dramatically ominous. Till’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t!” “Oh, I would.” And then he struck. His fingers dove into Till’s sides, wiggling rapidly up and down, and the reaction was instant. Till absolutely shrieked, laughter bursting from him like a dam breaking.

His back arched as much as it could with Ivan sitting on him, legs kicking helplessly into the couch cushions. “NOHOHOHOO IVAAHAHAHAN!!” The ravenhead grinned down at him, tickling without mercy, his fingers moving from his ribs to his waist, giving little squeezes and skittering movements that had the boy thrashing and squirming beneath him.

“Thought you were fast,” Ivan teased, “guess not fast enough.” “YOOHOU BAHAHASTAHAHARD!! GEHEHET OHOHOFF!!” But Ivan didn’t stop. If anything, the high-pitched squeals and bright pink blush coloring Till’s cheeks only made him laugh harder - not at him, with him. Because Till’s laughter was infectious - sharp, silly and just so real.

“You are way too ticklish for someone who throws the first pillow,” Ivan said, raising an eyebrow. Till let out another shriek as Ivan’s fingers found the dip just above his hipbones, digging in for just a second before fluttering away. “NAHAHAHA NOT THEHEHEHERE!!” “Oh? Here?” Ivan teased, targeting the spot again.

Till was howling now, face buried sideways in a couch pillow as he laughed uncontrollably, tears starting to well in the corners of his eyes. He tugged uselessly against Ivan’s grip, legs kicking. It wasn’t like Ivan was putting real strength into holding him down. He didn’t need to. Till was already halfway useless under his touch.

Ivan couldn’t help it - he was grinning like an idiot, his own cheeks dusted pink from laughter and adrenaline. Seeing Till so carefree, so unguarded, it made his heart flutter in a way he tried very hard not to think too much about. Eventually, he slowed down, his fingers lazily scribbling around Till’s belly one last time before finally letting go.

Till’s arms dropped like noodles and he went limp with a huge, exhausted wheeze. Ivan shifted off of him, still chuckling, and flopped onto the couch beside him. “That… was for the cake.” “You’re such a child,” Till groaned, red-faced and breathless, his hair sticking out in every direction. Ivan tilted his head with mock innocence. “You were warned.”

They sat like that for a moment - Till trying to catch his breath, Ivan fighting to keep a smug grin off his face. The quiet after all that laughter was oddly warm, filled only with the hum of the refrigerator and the faint sound of the wind outside their window.

After a minute, Till slowly sat up, curling sideways until he was leaning against Ivan’s shoulder, his legs folded on the couch. Ivan blinked, slightly surprised by the cuddle, but he didn’t move away. In fact, he leaned in a little.

Till’s voice was soft, a little raspy from all the giggling. “Okay... but seriously… What was all that about? You usually just pout when I steal your stuff.” Ivan looked down at him, eyes glinting. “I told you, that slice had my name on it.” “Pffft.” Till squinted suspiciously. “That’s not a reason for a full-blown manhunt.” “Isn’t it?” Ivan smirked, smug and unbothered.

Till narrowed his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously smug.” Ivan lifted a hand to ruffle Till’s hair. “You’re just mad you got caught.” Till leaned away slightly, something mischievous sparking in his expression. “No, I’m mad because you tickled me half to death.”

“You looked like you were having fun though.” “That’s beside the point,” Till said firmly. Then, suddenly, his fingers darted out and poked Ivan right in the side. Ivan flinched. “H-Hey!” Till smiled at him. “Was that a giggle?” “No it wasn’t,” the answer answered a little bit too quickly, knowing what was coming.

‘Damn, he looks so cool right now’, Ivan thought as a smirk took place in his lips. The song went on and Ivan knew he had to focus. This was supposed to be a dramatic, emotional, tragic scene. He couldn’t be booping to the song they spent hours recording. Focus, Ivan, focus!

As Till continued to sing, Ivan decided it was a good time to rehearsal his lines. Maybe this would put him back in the right mood for this scene and, after all, he didn’t want to start the 10th take because he made the same mistake from 4 takes ago.

“Let me drown in you, until these falling stars are buried in the blur of time!”

Wait, was he at that part already?

Ivan opened his eyes and looked at the other guy with a slightly shocked expression. Gulping, he clenched his hands as he heard the piano keys starting to play in the background again. Time to shine, Ivan.

With heavy steps, Ivan walked towards his microphone. The camera was tilting right above him and it was a bit hard to keep a straight face, but he had to!

“Even if your cold words carve scars beneath my eyes.”

Carefully and gently, Ivan took his hands up and wrapped his fingers around the microphone. Holding it tightly, one word after the other left his lips and, as scripted, he was singing.

“May they linger on your tongue. You can break me apart.”

Narrowed eyes stared back at the camera in front of him. To the ones looking from the outside, Ivan seemed like the most confident actor in history, literally living up to his character. But on the inside, he couldn’t help but feel some nervousness stirring up. What if he sang the wrong line? What if he looked ugly on the recording? What if his voice cracked?!

No, it wasn’t time to think about those things. He managed to look at Till with the corner of his eyes and, even when he was idling, the sorrowful, tired look continued to stick to his face. So professional!

“Sick of those nights to come, to be engulfed by silence in your gaze where I’m seen. Consume me! Yes, me, oh oh!! ~”

Ivan would only be sure once they were done recording this scene, but he was almost 100% he nailed this part. He could feel his vocal chords slightly tiring, but nowhere near enough to make him stop.

And above anything else, the most important scene of this episode was coming up. The kiss.

“To this everlasting moment.”

“Face to face we dance.”

Ivan let out a small sigh as his last line was sung. Just as the words left his lips, the pages of the script started playing inside his head. ‘With a decisive move, you throw your microphone aside and walk to him’, he remembered the director explaining, detailing how it should be done.

“With our story lost in forever’s embrace!! ~”

Ivan felt literally chills running up his back when his eyes met Till’s. As a newbie actor, starring with someone as experienced as him was always an emotional rollercoaster, full of surprising moments that he would treasure forever. But not now. Now, he needed to focus.

Gently reaching for the other guy’s cheek, Ivan moved his hand to the back of Till’s head and pulled him into a kiss.

Part of himself questioned if he was supposed to enjoy recording this part over and over as much as he was doing, but knowing how annoyed the rest of the studio’s staff was at his mistakes, he would never voice such thoughts.

The instrumental played along with the flashing lights above them. Ivan only remembered the instructions that he should make the kiss last while Till would try to shove him away, but the director never said how, so there shouldn’t be much harm in improvising a little, right?

Ivan wrapped his free hand around Till’s slim torso, resting his fingers just below the other’s ribcage. Till pressed both hands against his chest, trying to push him away like the script told him to, but Ivan knew this wasn’t the lead to let him go, so he pulled the other man for another kiss.

However, there was something off. 

He was told that, yes, Till was going to try to break their kiss and free himself, but it shouldn’t be… this effective, Ivan thought. Deciding that it would be better to just play along, Ivan moved his hand down to Till’s neck while the other pressed a little harder against his side, hoping this would be enough to keep him still to the end of the scene.

But with barely seconds before the time for the score to pop up above their heads and show his character’s demise, Ivan noticed that Till… was laughing?

“Pfft- d-duhuhude!” TIll giggled, elbowing his arm in another attempt to free himself from his embrace. “Q-quit tihihickling, ahaha!”

“H-huh?” Ivan blinked, looking down to the little space between their bodies and taking a few seconds to realize what the other guy meant. “Wait, you mean this?”

“GyAHah, y-yes! Thahat, d-don’t dohohoh it! I’m tihihicklish there!” Till laughed, throwing his head back (and maybe trusting a little too much in Ivan’s strength to hold him in place).

A fuzzy, warm feeling spread over Ivan’s chest as he heard those words. What a wonderful discovery! How could he not notice this before?! “Ahah, sorry… I mean, I didn’t expect this or this to be enough to tickle you, Till, ~” Ivan teased, carelessly spidering his fingers against Till’s side and ribs.

Before he realized, there were them again: fooling in the middle of the set. Till laughing, desperately trying to escape his hug while the only worry inside Ivan’s mind was to find where else his senior would be ticklish.

“Ivan! C’mohohon!” Till laughed while the lights of the studio turned back on, illuminating the whole scene again as this take was already beyond salvation. “I cahahan’t breheheathe!”

“Oh? But you are-”

“Guys!” The director protested, making the duo stop in the middle of the scene with a surprised look on their faces. Right, they were recording. And with people around them. A lot of people. “Sigh, let’s take a break, yeah? Five minutes, everybody.”

Despite the feeling of animosity towards them that seemed to spread across the rest of the staff, Ivan couldn’t stop himself from smiling and, much to his delight, the same seemed to go for Till.

“S-sorry, ahah, this one is my fault,” Till giggled as he got back into his own feet, rubbing his side where Ivan just tickled him. “Try to just, hmm… Hold my face?”