#leia.

" are . . are you sure that your girlfriend won't mind us hanging out ? i'd hate to rile up some feathers , " leia speaks with a short cadence , glancing at the other -- chewing down on her lower lip , nervous . " y'know how i feel about being the other woman , " she goes , humming to herself .

Who: Leia

Where: The Wishing Festival

Kylo was walking through the market, checking out the different things that were being sold. Picking up one of the pieces of fabric that was for sale, he turns it over in his hand, the softness juxtaposing his own rough hands. Feeling the hair on the back of his neck stand up, Kylo sensed the presence of his mother. He had not had a conversation with her in years. There was no where for him to run or hide, both of which he wanted to do. He wanted to do anything but face her, the woman who had raised him and the woman he had let down. Sucking in a breath, Kylo places the fabric down on the table. “Hello, mother.” he says, back still turned to her, the tough, strong Supreme Leader unable to work up the courage to face her. 

"darling, before you go, i need a word," there was no escaping padme when she used that tone with him. "bring the strong stuff and two glasses please." she had postponed this conversation long enough. she had hoped to play middleman between ben and her benjamin, but he was in india looking after anakin, whose malaria had gotten a turn for the worse. he wouldn't be back in time for the wedding, which broke her heart.

"i know you have more interesting plans for the evening but... this is important, for your future," she began, taking in a deep breath and giving him a quick thanks when he handed over the drink before sitting on the chair next to her. "what worries you about children with her? i know of your promise to han, but it cannot be just that. what is it?"

there was no hiding his feelings from padme either. she was technically his aunt, sister to his dead mother but in his heart it was she who held that title, it was padme who taught him confidence to talk, to think. it was her who looked after him when he was sick, who played with him and taught him how to throw a good right hook. and her husband had been the kindest of fathers too, treating him the same way he did with the twins, calling him son, making him feel one of them. he hated being a solo growing up, he wanted to be a kenobi, in the same way cristobal wanted to be a true bridgerton.

"i fear... i fear i'll be a horrible father. i fear i'll turn cruel when i don't get my way, when i drink too much... i don't want to be like him. i don't to put Violeta or our children through that and i... i have his blood, it's there, in my body, waiting to come out. i feel it sometimes, when i'm angry, i go red and---and nothing and no one stands in my way and that's, that's han solo."

padme listened and took a zip of her drink, clearing her throat. "that's your mother darling, not han solo," she breathed out. "leia was... i loved her, she was my baby sister, she was direct and beautiful and wanted more than what society expected of women and she fought with everyone that thought otherwise. loudly, violently even. he fought your father, that was their entire courtship. we thought they hated one another but it was their way to show affection. it was troubling, at least to me. i didn't--i still don't understand that kind of..." she shook her head. "but darling, take a drink," she said, taking one herself.

"i need to tell you something. something that---that i wish ben could be here too but ani's malaria is worse so..." she breathed deeply again. she was stalling. "darling you should focus on the people that raised you. you grew up surrounded by love and caring. you saw it here, you saw with violet and edmund, how love and respect works. and you are loving and respectful, even as a rake. you didn't--you didn't pursue violeta even though she was right there for the puckling, not until you figured out adam and meeka. yes, i have eyes and this is my house and nothing escapes me," she quipped straightening up her back.

she reached for his hand, eyes watering. "ben darling. han--han tried to get leia pregnant, but his seed wasn't good. she mis.carried three times in those first years. while violet had adam and i had the twins, she couldn't--" she breathed out trying to read benjamin's face. his shoulders were tensing, his jaw...

"what are you trying to say?" he asked--he would've demanded the truth if this was any other person and not his mother. "he taunted leia and for a while, it worked but one day at aubrey hall of all places she snapped. she told him that maybe she wasn't the problem, maybe it was him since none of his mistresses had ever been with child either and that there was a very easy way to see if she was right," yes the pig continued to rake after marriage.

"who is my father padme?" he asked, his tone a little rougher than before. "we didn't know for sure until you came back from your first year at Eton," she started, her voice faltering as she blinked away tears. "you were--you were benjamin's splitting image then. before that you looked a bit like him and bit like edmund, we had no way to know. all we knew was that you weren't his and that made han furious but it had been his idea. he---the parties at aubrey hall that violet and i held, they weren't the first. we've been running them for decades and--well, now you know."

he stood up, chair almost falling back, definitely unsure as to what to do. padme downed the rest of her glass and set it on the table, getting up as well. "you're the duke of hastings and you can wonderful things with the land and for your people. and you will be a wonderful, caring husband for Violeta because you have it in your heart, because you grew up surrounded by it and because your father, your true father is the kindest man i know. i'm sorry--i'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner. i've been waiting for ben to come back for years and you had been abroad too--" her voice broke then, crying freely. it wasn't easy for her to admit all of this on her own. what they did behind closed those doors were their decisions, their choices and she wished she could've said it sooner but han solo would never admit that his son was a bastard, that he couldn't breed his wife, that the title was already in someone else's hands.

ben rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger, trying not to cry and sniffling loudly. "so this has been my home, my real home, my real father all this time and you never told me?" he was being unfair and he knew it; she had been his mother, he had his father--blood or no blood. "i would've been a bastard and han--han would've trashed leia. that i understand but--" he shook his head looking at her. "but you knew how much--how i loathed him! how i feared him!"

"i got you here as quickly as i could! you think he let us? you think he--he stopped talking to edmund and benjamin the moment leia had a decent pregnancy. he wouldn't let her leave the house. i was the only allowed in by mere chance," not by chance but that was one secret she was going to take to the grave. and when you started with the stutter i took as an opportunity to take you away from him and bring you home, where you belonged. you belong with us, title or no title, blood or no blood. ben please do not hate me, i did--i did what i thought was best. i had to protect everyone starting with you!"

Ben opened his eyes upon feeling a familiar force signature surround him. He was very conveniently meditating close to the resistance base with the hopes that he would be able to “run into” his mother if she left. He could sense that she was close by and he was fully aware it was his time to finally speak to her, to tell her that her son was back and inform her of his plans to end the First Order. He knew that he needed her help with this but he still found himself frozen, unable to move from his spot under one of the trees. This was the hardest thing he was going to have to do and while he knew that he needed to do this, everything inside him was telling him to just stay put and not go and find her. He could be brave another day, right? He wasn’t even sure why he was so nervous to speak to her, especially after the last time they spoke Leia welcomed her son with open arms. He just didn’t want to let her down any more than he already had. No matter what Ben did, his mother was still there for him. She never gave up on him. Even with Ben knowing this, his heart still raced with uncertainty. Things went okay the last time they spoke and were only getting better so there was no need to worry. Everything would be fine. That’s what he was telling himself at least. Giving in to what needed to be done, Ben took a deep breath before he stood up and set off the direction of Leia’s signature.

 “Mom.” the man said softly once he entered the clearing where she was, not wanting to scare her or sneak up on her. “It’s Ben. I could use your help.”