Intergalactic Slime Whiskey
Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Ship: Hints of Spirk
Summary: Intergalactic whiskey will never taste like Earth whiskey. Jim knows that, and Bones certainly knows that.
A/N: to the anon that requested Star Trek or Top Gun <3
âJim, it would be illogical to allow Doctor McCoy to chase us for any longer,â Spock says, hand in Jimâs as he lags ever so slightly behind him. âI do believe that Doctor McCoy will reach us eventually.â
âYou donât understand, Spock,â Jim says, panting as he continues to run, Bones hot on their trail, âI finished his Earth whiskey, his whiskey from Earth.âÂ
âCaptain, whiskey can be ordered or acquired from any of the neighbouring planets,â Spock says, slowing down. Of course Jim slows to accompany him, of course he does.Â
âYou donât get it, Spock. That stuff is aged on Earth with Earth wood. Bones hates the taste of whiskey aged with the artificial stuff,â Jim explains, noticing Bones to be getting closer and closer as they run through the hallways of The Enterprise, âwe wonât be back on Earth for another year, Spock.â
âI believe that humans would say you are âscrewed,â Captain,â Spock comes to a complete stop, and of course, Jim stops too. Heâd say itâs to protect Spock from Bonesâ wrath, but of course, itâs not that simple.
Thereâs only a mere five seconds between them stopping and Jim being potato-sacked over Bonesâ shoulder, unsure if his punishment will happen in his quarters or Bonesâ, but then again, theyâre kind of the same at this point in their friendship.Â
As heâs carried away, batting at Bonesâ back for hopes of mercy, he sees the cute, lopsided smile on Spockâs face, looks into his knowing eyes. âSpock, you traitor!â
Jim spends the entire two minute journey trying to make Bones as uncomfortable as possible, squirming, pleading, and throwing his fists against his best friendâs back. Nearly the moment the door to Bonesâ quarters opens, heâs being thrown onto the couch, landing with a punched-out âoofâ.Â
âBohones nohoho, câmon!â Jim pleads, putting his hands up in between the two of them as Bones straddles his hips.Â
âIâm not even touchinâ ya, kid,â Bones says fondly, reaching a hand up to ruffle Jimâs hair.Â
âStop! Juhust let me go! Ihihiâm sorry!â Jim reasons, shaking his head to dismount Bonesâ hand.Â
âNo way, kid,â Bones feigns a frown, âthat Earth whiskey ainât goinâ to make up for itself, Iâll have to drink that intergalactic slime shit for the next year because of you.â
âIhihiâm sorry! Iâll request we go back to Earth early!â
âIâd never let you jeopardise a mission, Jim, especially the first five-year expedition in Fleet history,â Bones sighs, âbut I would let you suffer for it.â
âBohones NOHOHOHO!â Bonesâ hands finally go to work, latching onto Jimâs hips, going in for the kill as soon as he starts.
âNo- I- Ple-â Jim tries to get something, anything out, but heâs overtaken by his own hearty laughter, his entire body shaking as he starts to burn pink to his ears.Â
Bones canât help but laugh along, shaking his head at Jimâs adorable reactions, âyou did something pretty bad, kid. I ought to just stay here the entire time.â
Jimâs eyes shoot open, shaking his head urgently, âIHIHIHIâD DIHIHIE!âÂ
âWell, then tell me where to go, Jim.â Bones smirks as Jim goes impossibly more red, a sheepish expression on his face.Â
âAHAHAHANAYWHERE EHEHEHELSE!âÂ
âNot an answer,â Bones says, drilling in.Â
Jim shrieks, arching his back but only making the tickling worse as a result. âAHAHA- I- TUHUHUMMY!â
âBetter,â Bones chuckles, hands going up to Jimâs tummy. His tickling becomes incredibly soft, spidering over Jimâs stomach in the way he usually likes when heâs trying to sleep. Now, however, the soft tickling is a thousand times more flustering than it is peaceful. He giggles like a child, his head back and his nose scrunched.
âNohoho!â He hiccups, trying to bat away Bonesâ hands.Â
âReady for another spot, kid?â Bones asks, pushing Jimâs hand away.Â
âPlehehease stohohop!â Jim cries.
âAlright, neck it is then.âÂ
Jim positively screams when Bones scratches at his collarbones, trying to put his head down but only succeeding in trapping Bonesâ fingers. He hiccups, snorts, and begs, but none of it is enough to stop Bones.Â
âI CAHAHANâT I CAHAHAHANâT!â Jim screams, kicking out and hands going everywhere.Â
âAlright, alright, kid. Youâre too damn cute and too damn ticklish for your own good.â Bonesâ hands slow down, going back up to Jimâs hair to scratch his head, dismounting Jim to put his head in Bonesâ lap.
âIhihi-â Jim starts, opening his eyes, âI ahaham sorry, Bohohones, reheheally. I thohohought it was the stuhuhuff from the last planet, I shohohouldâve read the label.âÂ
âNo worries, Jim. Itâs just liquor,â Bone says, his hand wandering slightly and nicking Jimâs ear, causing an adorable snort from the blonde, âIâll drink the gross stuff with you, but youâre buying me a bottle when we get back next year.â
âWould that make me an enabler?â Jim says, stray giggles still flowing as his eyes slowly shut.Â
âOh hush, go to sleep, you damn infant.âÂ
Jim giggles, and within minutes heâs asleep in his best friendâs lap, head pushing closer to Bonesâ hand on his head even in his slumber.Â









