#ledger!jokerxreader

The night began as it always did. I unlocked the door with my line of regulars right behind me. I hit the lights and stereo bringing the silent, dark bar to life. I made my way behind the bar and started fixing my regulars their drinks. After the first hour things slowed down, and it was just my regulars and me. I decided to turn on the news to have something to watch between making drinks. It was just the same old news that was on every night of corrupt politicians, batman saving somebody, and somebody getting robbed when I saw the headline that caused the glass I was drying to slip from my hands. The crash of it shattering breaking me of my stunned reverie. The screen displayed a building engulfed in a complete inferno clear on the other side of town. It was some abandoned building that a gang used to inhabit. On the road in front of the building, spelled out in lighter fluid was the name Joker. I made my way to the back to sweep up the glass and avert my eyes from the tv screen. I sweep most of it up, but I end up having to pick up a few stubborn pieces that I had to pick up by hand. Until I get a sliver of glass stuck in my hand when I tried to dump them into the garbage. I tried to get the piece of glass out, but without tweezers it was hopeless. I grabbed a bandage from the office to staunch the bleeding and decided to deal with it when I got home.

After a couple hours that seemed to drag by, I kicked everyone out promptly at closing time and was out the door ten minutes later. I walked quickly, anxious to dig the painful sliver of glass out of my hand, and for once it was an uneventfully peaceful walk home. I stormed through the door of my apartment and headed straight to the bathroom. I’m rummaging through my medicine cabinet for my tweezers when I hear the sound of someone clearing their throat. I jumped about a foot in the air and heard a chuckle as a result.

“Didn’t mean to scare you there, Doll.”

“You didn’t scare me. I was just focused.” I said indignantly and quietly finally finding the tweezers and began to take the bandage off the palm of my throbbing hand. How such a small thing could be such a pain was a mystery.

“What happened?” He said staring at the blood in the palm of my hand and quickly walking over taking my hand in his to look it over.

“I saw your stunt on tv, dropped the glass I was drying, and then got a sliver picking up the pieces. No -biggie, just couldn’t get the sliver of glass out without tweezers and I didn’t have a pair at work.” I got to grab the tweezers but they’re already in his hand. He sticks my hand under the faucet causing a slight sting. He proceeds to bring my hand closer to his face, I can just feel the rush of his breathing on the tips of my fingers and he focuses on the sliver. He pulls it out effortlessly and sticks my hand back under the running water while he grabs a new bandage.

“Thank you.” I say in a whisper.

“Sorry for the shock of the late-night news.”

“Yeah, I thought you’d raid the fridge, not the town.” I said with an eyebrow quirked at him. I’m rewarded the small smirk in return.

“You didn’t have any pudding, so I took a walk.”

“You know, there’s never a dull moment around you.”

“I am all about chaos, Doll.” He challenged back.

“You know, technically it’s my turn to ask a question.” I made him wait a few seconds in silence to build his anticipation before continuing. “It’s a very important question. What kind of pudding did you get?” I ask before breaking my serious expression into a smile. He rewards me with a smirk before answering.

“A pack of chocolate and a pack of vanilla.” I smiled at the thought of curling up on the couch with some pudding and continuing our little game of 20 never ending questions, but then I remembered his little adventure and notice that he was a bit more pale than when I left him.

“Let me double check you’re stitches, Mr. Chaos.” I said lifting up his shirt to get a look at the possible destruction he caused once again. He flinched the second my fingers tips had brushed against his skin. I elected to ignore it figuring he hadn’t had a caring touch in a long time and no good would come of bringing it up. I wanted to figure him out as much as he wanted to figure out me. “Well, you only ripped 3 this time, but I think the next time you rip one I’ll just super glue this wound shut so you actually heal eventually.” I tell him. I look back up to his eyes after I didn’t receive a witty retort or at least the chuckle I expected he would give me. His eyes were looking in my direction, but I could tell he wasn’t actually looking at me.

“Hey, you okay?” I ask him barely above a whisper.

“Huh, yeah Doll, just fine.” He said shaking himself out of his reverie. I looked at him for second not believing him for second, but I decided on not saying anything about it just yet. I walked into my room and put on one of favorite vinyl’s and lighting a couple candles in the room so I wouldn’t have to have the light on. I sat down on my bed getting comfortable and noticed he was standing in the bathroom doorway.

“Why are you so comfortable around me? Any sane person would have run away screaming at the first sight of me. Instead, you’ve fixed me up more than once, fed me, lied to your landlord, and now you’re inviting me to sit next to you in your bed. I don’t believe it’s just because I saved you, Doll.”

“Well, for starters, I never claimed to be completely sane. I guess I just see the man behind the mask, metaphorically and physically. I think you went through something horrendous and tragic and made you who you are today, and as a result you guard yourself so as not to get hurt again. You’re careful with the pieces of yourself that you give away and you never let anyone get too close, and because of that I also think you’re a bit lonely. I think you started off on this path of ‘chaos’ and eventually figured there’s no turning back. I don’t believe that though. I think there’s redemption for everyone, including you. I think you just don’t want to be vulnerable in the process.” He stared at me a sea of emotions behind his dark eyes.

“Why’d you burn down that building earlier?” I asked him quietly trying to change his train of thought. He paused before answering.

“I needed to blow off some steam. It’s who I am now, Doll. What was her name?”

I paused, looking down on my left wrist where I had our initials tattooed. JJ. The letters mirrored each other making them look like an anchor, something done intentionally since I practically felt lost at sea without her by my side.

“Joelle.” I said, my voice cracking. I began tracing the tattoo with my fingers, a nervous habit I started whenever I felt myself getting lost in my thoughts that weren’t too pleasant.  I felt the bed dip and looked up to find him staring at my wrist.

“How long has it been?” I manage to choke out, my throat thick from the instant swirl of emotions.

“Since?”

“Since you’ve let anyone touch you? Every time I’ve had to touch you to check your stitches you either flinch or are stock still.” He’s quiet, for a moment before he answers me.

Frustrated, I decided that maybe a shower would wake me up a bit and hopefully calm my thoughts. Either way it was needed in order to get ready for work tonight. I sang along to some of my favorite songs of the nineties as I showered, my thoughts never calmed though. I got ready for work pulling on some ripped jeans, a tank top, and an old faded band t-shirt. I laced up my converse, pulled on my leather jacket, and said a silent prayer for work to go by uneventfully fast as I walked out the door.

Barely an hour into my shift and I can already tell it’s going to be a long night. The bar is more busy than usual and filled with demanding customers. The bar hasn’t been this loud or filled in the three months I’ve worked here. It also hasn’t been filled with such rude, skeevy guys either. I’m used to the awkward but harmless flirting, but the guys here tonight made me feel like I was constantly being undressed by someone’s stare.

Closer to closing time I shouted for last call and after waiting on the last guy I started wiping down the bar.

“Long night?” I heard called out from the other end of the bar.

“You could say that.” I replied while taking a glimpse at the time, “if you want anything to drink speak now or forever hold your peace for the night.” I add before making my way down to him.

“I’ll take glass of scotch if you have it, Doll.”

I started pouring the drink absent mindedly until the nickname made me look up at who I was serving. I was taken aback when I didn’t see what I was expecting. In that moment, I thought I was losing it and couldn’t wait to be home.

“Here ya go.” I say as I pass the glass to the man, our fingers brush each other and my eyes instantly flick to his. His chocolate brown orbs gaze into mine and it’s like time stops for a moment before the connection breaks from the clatter of a spilled drink on the section I was about to clean and I have to go back to wiping down the bar. I turn back around once I finish and the stranger is gone, his money under his empty glass. I take another look at the clock and kill the music to give people the hint to start filing out the door.

I lock the door to the bar and begin to turn around when two cats chasing each other yowling and hissing. The cats, taking me off guard, make me jump. I held my hand against my chest as it slowly calms down to a normal rhythm. I begin the familiar trek home after I’m not so startled. As I approach my familiar alley, the one that keeps me more occupied than a weekly tv show, I hear a man, hos breath labored. I cautiously approached the alley, ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. When my eyes fall upon a sight I wasn’t expecting.

I was shocked still as I absorbed the details of the scene in front of me. Two men occupied the dark alley, one was dead sprawled across the ground, the other was leaning against the brick wall, grasping his side. As my mind processed the information I noticed the man that was leaning against the building was familiar. I’ll take a glass of scotch if you have it, Doll. The image of him earlier compared to what my eyes were staring at was a stark difference.

“J?” The solitary word escaped my mouth without permission from my stunned brain. Those warm brown eyes looked up at me with only little surprise and as soon as they did I dropped to my knees beside him.

“What happened?” I asked him concerned. Once again, his head tilts to the side and he looks at me inquisitively for a second before a grunt falls from his lips and he doubles over in an obvious wave of pain.

“Let’s get you out of here.” I say aloud to myself as I get to my feet and warp my arm around him to help him to his. He goes to push away from me as if he didn’t need my help and as soon as he does he begins to fall back down. I catch him before much of any progress is lost and keep a firm grip on him. I look up to him and he stares down into my eyes, a hardness that was in them for a moment melting away and being replaced by a wave of pain. I take a step and gently pull him forward, thanking my lucky stars that my apartment is close by.

We make our way to my apartment building, through my apartment, and into my bathroom. J grips onto the door frame taking a moment of pause and I get a good look at his face since I found him in the alley. His face is white as a sheet, as though he was wearing his white make up, but I know he isn’t. He leans his back against the door frame and slowly slides down it. I move passed him and fully into my bathroom quickly grabbing two towels one that I drench in water and the other I left dry, I also grab the first aid kit I kept stashed under the sink.

I dropped down next to him once again, this time wiping his face with the wet wash cloth. His once heavy, labored breathing is now coming in short, almost quiet breaths.

“Maybe I should get you to a hospital…” I thought out loud, but quietly to myself. Lightning fast after my thought, his hand gripped m wrist with strength I didn’t think he was capable of in this condition. I had glanced down when his bloody hand gripped my wrist, and just as quickly my eyes flashed back to his.

“No hospital.” He rasped out the two words. I nodded my head in agreement to him and his hand gripped my wrist tighter as another wave of pain rocked through his body. I could tell he was trying not to crush my wrist with his grip, although he tried the pain in my wrist begged him to let go but I focused on the blood coming out of his side more freely without pressure on it anymore. The dry towel in my hand immediately reached to his side and put pressure on it. I pulled the wrist he still had a hold of towards the side and used that hand to hold the towel onto his side, I then coaxed his hand to let go and help hold the towel there.

I crouch in front of him and opened the first aid kit pulling out iodine, rubbing alcohol, and stitches kit from when I was interested in the medical field. I held the side of his face in hand for a second to get his attention and his eyes opened and drifted towards me.

“Doll, we’ve got to stop meeting up like this. I do have a reputation to uphold you know.” The man who had grabbed me spoke from behind softly into my ear. I could smell the light scent of gunpowder and gasoline. The grip on me loosened and that’s when I noticed the purple gloves on my arms. I slowly turned around to face my savoir. He wore a trench coat like purple jacket with a green vest and patterned dress shirt. I noticed the white face paint that covered the entirety of his face, red face paint not only covered his lips but what seemed to be scars creating a permanent smile on his face. He had black raccoon like eye makeup around his eyes but that didn’t distract me from his brown eyes that contained flecks of green in them. His hair was also a mix of dirty blonde and green but was also greasy, he definitely gave Severus Snape a run for his money in that department. The white face and red lips instantly jogged my memory of the blurry sight of the stranger that I had met in this same alley just over a week ago.

“J?” I said questioningly.

“The one and only, Angel.” He said as he took a small step backwards with his arms spreading out from his sides as if to display himself and give me a better look.

“Thanks for saving me…again.” I said to him a bit self-consciously. He then stared at me, his head tilted slightly sideways with a somewhat puzzled look on his face.

“You’re not afraid of me, are you?” He said questioningly yet almost as a statement also.

“Afraid of you? You saved my life, why would I be afraid of you?” I asked him. My mind instantly reminding me of the words he spoke softly into my ear after seeing the wreck I should have been squished by. I do have a reputation to uphold you know. “And what kind of reputation?” I added confused by exactly who my savior was exactly.

“One of anarchy and chaos. You really mean to tell me that you don’t recognize me Doll?”

“Where else should I recognize you from besides you saving me about a week ago?”

“It wasn’t necessarily saving you as much as it was teaching that guy a little honor.” He said with a smirk on his face, literally, not just the one painted there. “And just now? I wouldn’t necessarily classify that as teaching anyone honor.” I told him coolly. His face changed from a smirk to an overall look of being impressed for a split second and then quickly regaining his sarcastic composure. If I had blinked I would have missed it.

“I’d be more careful around these parts at night, you never know who you may run into Doll, some aren’t to be trifled with.” He said to me moving close to my face and never breaking eye contact. I heard a screech of tires behind me and I turned to see a van pulled up outside the alley with Slaughter written on the side. I turned to look back at J and he was gone. I heard the van accelerate and barely caught a glimpse of it speeding away into the empty streets of Gotham.

What the hell was that? I thought to myself as I stood in the alley dumbfounded. I was shaken from my thoughts when I heard police sirens in the distance. I quickly made my way out of the alley and towards home. Everything that just happened in a matter of minutes playing over and over in my head. I made it to the place I called home and struggled with my keys in my shaking hands, adrenaline still pumping within my veins. As soon as I got the door open I closed it and leaned against it as I gathered my thoughts and tried to calm myself down. I made my way to the fridge for a water bottle and then walked over to my couch. I took a long drink of the cold liquid, trying to focus on something other than what just happened until I calmed down more. I turn on the T.V. thinking that the news would serve as a distraction but oh how wrong I was. Immediately the screen contained his face with a caption that called him the Joker. I turned the volume up and listened intently to what the news anchor was saying.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!” He angrily spoke up while grabbing my arm hard enough to leave a bruise. Panic sky rocketed through my body. I could smell the alcohol coming off his breath in waves every time he spoke. The pungent smell alone making my stomach want to heave.

“Let me go!” I shout gathering my resolve while trying to yank my arm out of his strong grip. Unfortunately his grip is too strong for me to pull out of and he pulls me into the alley and shoves me up against the rough, cold brick wall. My head makes a loud thud as it connects against the brick, making everything hazy. I then register the feel of the man’s large hands sliding up my sides, pulling my shirt up with it letting the cold air attack my skin.

“N-no.” I whimper out trying to remain conscious and pathetically fight against him.

“Now, now! That is hardly any way to treat a lady, don’t ya think?” A new voice speaks out, a maniacal laughter accompanying his rhetorical question. Suddenly the drunk man ripped away from me and I slide down the cold, coarse brick exterior. I try to clear my head and stay aware of my surroundings as I sit on the frigid, wet ground. I hear the sound of flesh hitting flesh and bones cracking until suddenly everything is silent except for the sound of footsteps. I don’t register anything else until I feel a gloved hand underneath my chin, gently coaxing my head up. Losing the battle for consciousness fast I crack my eyes open to see who’s in front of me. My vision is fuzzy as I gaze upon the new stranger in front of me. I’m able to make out a pure white face with a vibrant red color where his mouth should be. I can’t fight the darkness enclosing on my vision any longer and close my eyes. The last thing I am able to register is the smell of gun powder and maybe gasoline that seemed to lightly be coming from the stranger in front of me. I try to whisper out a ‘thanks’ before I completely lose consciousness.

When I come to I am laying in my bed and the sun is peaking through the small gap between my curtains, lighting my room softly. I look towards the clock on my nightstand and it reads 11:35. What the…How did I get home…What happened last night?! My mind instantly conjures up the last image it was able to capture. That white face…and the red! I hope he didn’t get hurt because of me, I think to myself worryingly. My hand automatically goes to the back of my head and that’s when I notice the bandage wrapped around my head and the dull pain echoing there. I try to recall the night’s events from the beginning. Scary drunk guy, brick wall, head, stranger, ground, glove, face…then nothing. The memories I could remember going through my head in flashes. I slowly moved to the edge of my bed and sit there for a moment trying to gather my scattered thoughts. I look towards my nightstand again and notice a glass of water, two pills, and a note that I hadn’t noticed before. I gingerly reached for the note and begin to read its contents.

Angel, There is water and pain reliever for the impending headache I’m assuming you’ll have. I’m sure you’re wondering how you got home and what happened. I checked your wallet for ID to find an address and I brought you home and wrapped your head. Might want to be careful at night Doll, the streets aren’t filled with the most savory creatures at night. Yours chaotically, J.

At least mystery guy had something to go by now. J. I wonder what that stands for… The dull pain in the back of my head is becoming more present and I reach for the pain reliever and down it with a drink of water. I slowly get up and move to dresser to get some fresh clothes to change into before I make my way into the kitchen to make something to eat and continue to try to make sense of everything.