#learningthai

Last Thursday I started my Thai language course at AAA College in Bangkok. Having spent a lot of time in Thailand and worked in an educational institution here myself, I genuinely, quite bluntly thought it was going to be an absolute bag of shite. I thought the whole thing would be some gateway into hours of hilarious material and ridiculous situations, however, sadly it is actually absolutely incredible. It is fun, very informative, very, very hard work and really rewarding.

With all the positivity aside, I started to become impatient about when the standard Thai weirdness was going to make an appearance. This is Thailand, they have a very...unique way of doing things...this all just seemed a bit too professional and ‘normal’ for my liking. That was until....I got my first piece of homework.

The task was to put our new found Thai vocabulary skills of ‘what is your name’ into practice.  We had to ask as many Thai people as possible their name, whilst collecting said names in an envelope. That’s fine I thought, nothing too taxing, nothing too peculiar, nothing too strange or uncomfortable. The teacher wanted us to carry round a designated envelope at all times, to present in social situations with Thai people and collect their names on paper, popping them into the envelope when the pronunciation was perfected. Again, fine. No problem. Nothing too peculiar, nothing too strange...not uncomfortable at all. Until, of course, we were each given our individual envelopes.

Obviously, there’s about as much chance of me carrying an old wellington boot filled with rats to put my names in than this but...

Okay, couple of things.

WHO CAME UP WITH THIS?

WHO WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF CUTTING THIS OUT?

WHO WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF CUTTING THIS OUT AND GLUING IT ONTO SOME PINK PAPER 

WHO WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF CUTTING THIS OUT AND GLUING IT ONTO SOME PINK PAPER AND THEN CAREFULLY INSERTING IT INTO A PLASTIC WALLET?

LOOK HOW CREASED IT IS. LOOK HOW MANY PREVIOUS STUDENTS HAVE ACTUALLY CARRIED IT AROUND, TAKEN IT OUT, ASKED PEOPLE THEIR NAMES, HOLDING IT UP?

WHY ISN’T IT JUST A WHITE ENVELOPE?

WHY CAN’T WE JUST WRITE THEIR NAMES DOWN?

WHY IS THIS HELPFUL?

WHY IS HIS HEAD SO BIG?

Jesusssss Thailand...

Apart from that...surprisingly nothing else is weird apart from the problem with global curriculum I see has not changed since I studied French in 1998. With such a widespread language, the English are guilty for being lazy when it comes to foreign languages and clearly, it would be quite helpful to know some common, useful and everyday phrases. Instead, all I take into my adult life from GCSE French is being able to express how much I enjoy playing football with my brother and that I have a ruler in my bag. Similarly, my reasons for learning Thai are I absolutely adore the Country and its people. I plan to holiday here for the rest of my life and would love to communicate to the Thai’s in their language. I would love be able to order 2 beers, stop myself getting ripped off by a taxi, tell a ladyboy she is beautiful, ask if there’s any toilet roll left or where the nearest police station is incase I need to find my Mother.

Although not quite there, my first week learning Thai has equipped me with the skills to say the following, which I am sure you will agree will be useful every single day, not just for my holidays.

-My name is Ellen

-I have 3 pencils

-My magazine is in German language

-Would you like my magazine in German language?

-I have some milk

- I do not have any fanta

-I have a red piece of wood

-Do you like tea in a glass?

-My ruler is red and my rubber is blue

-The teacher has a box

- Look at the roof

There are quite a few more but as I use the above constantly throughout the day, they are the first ones that come to mind