#learning paganism

I want to get my altars set up, but to be honest, I’m at a loss where to start.

I'm trying to put together a recommended reading list, so if you have any suggestions, please send me an ask.

Thanks!

My experiences with mentors in this field have been extremely bad; my first mentor had my Bullshit Detector whirring softly from the get-go, but, being about thirteen and still hoping against hope I was secretly the Slayer, I was glad to believe her wholeheartedly. It wasn't until she started telling me when and how to masturbate that I finally took off the earmuffs to hear the alarms blaring.

My second mentor wasn't nearly as creepishly bad, but almost immediately after joining her "coven" I realized that: a) she was speaking with authority on things she was mistaken about, b) she was abusing that authority grandly, and c) she was under the impression that each member of the coven had some highly unlikely superduperspecial connection to one deity or another.

Internet forums were absolutely fuck-all help throughout all this, being up to their pointy hats in the fluffiest of bunnies.

Enough about my experiences--what does this mean for you?

If you choose to study under someone seemingly wiser than you in these ways, be very careful as to how you go about it. Do not automatically believe everything he/she/they say(s), and always check facts afterwards from a reliable source--this means, a book in print, a scholarly web page, or even another person you deem knowledgeable. Never use a forum or (my foot readies itself for a bullet) blog post as the be-all-end-all of fact-checking.

It might also be wise to wait until trust has been established--both through personal connection and verified facts--before actually practicing with a mentor, whether or not you believe in the literalness of what you're doing.

Some signs you should abandon ship:

Quite innocently, you simply don't jive with what your mentor's saying.

Your mentor discourages your fact-checking, or makes excuses for why other sources contradict him/her.

Your mentor tries to control your personal life, dictating who you can/can't talk to or what you can/can't do.

Your mentor makes grandiose claims he/she can't support with evidence of any kind (such as speaking directly to a deity).

Your mentor makes any attempt whatsoever at even suggesting the possibility that they should either know anything about or have any say in what you are doing sexually.

These are just a few things I've run into in my experiences, but if at any point your Bullshit Detector starts to beep for any reason, get the hell out of there. There's no need to burn bridges or sacrifice friendships in the process of leaving, but you need to put your own safety, comfort, and ideals first.

Bottom Line:

This is all about you, and your journey to understanding yourself and what you believe in. A mentor can be a wonderful guide and source of inspiration and information, much like a big brother or sister in a Greek organization--but if the Kool-Aid looks a little funky to you, get out.

My recommendation would be to look for another person just beginning their own spiritual exploration, or at a similar point in that journey as you, and rather than teach or be taught, learn together, like in a study group. Get together a list of books you think you ought to read, on anything from mythology and folklore to court decisions involving Wicca or other forms of Paganism, and split the workload between you; take notes, and share the information. Learning side-by-side with someone can be a very enriching and informative method, and naturally safeguards against a cult leader rising to power.

Keep in mind, I'm just as new to this as you, so take it with a grain of salt.