#leahofhell

When Dot informed Jack (with copious amounts of crossing herself) that Miss Fisher had gone undercover at the brothel where several of the workers had been murdered in order to set a trap for the killer, Jack had nearly sprinted to his car. He had to leave Collins behind, since the poor boy would be absolutely useless at a brothel. Driving more like Miss Fisher than himself, he finally arrived after what felt like a century.

Throwing the door open, he hastily tried to get to the hosting rooms, but ran into security. However, when he heard some high-pitched shrieks, he forced his way past the two burly men.

He threw open the door, ready to rescue whatever woman was in distress. Instead, he found Phryne Fisher in her lingerie, holding a riding crop and a very embarrassed man who quickly gathered what clothing he could and scampered past Jack. “Miss Fisher?” he asked, dumbly, trying to look anywhere but at her until he found her robe.

“Jack!” she replied in delight. She scoffed at the robe but put it on. “Honestly, it’s not anything you haven’t seen before.”

Jack cleared his throat. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to catch a killer, Jack. Since the police don’t seem to care that all his victims are prostitutes, I suppose I must gift wrap him and place them in front of the station with a note that he killed four women.” She sighed. “But you scared my bait away?”

Jack was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that she thought any of this was safe or logical. “Bait?”

“You’ll just have to fill in,” she said, stepping close to him, running her finger up his shirt. “We should be in flagrante delicto, since I am sure that would cause him to go into a jealous rage.”

Jack’s brain was catching up and was very adamant that that was not what they should do, not if he wanted to retain his badge and his dignity. “We could try cuddling?”

Miss Fisher looked at with that tender look that he could never decide what it meant, even as it warmed his chest. “Fine.” She pulled him down to the small bed.

sian you know me so well. both hold a special place in my heart but being human takes the lead...

rahul kohli as john mitchell / nathalie emmanuel as annie sawyer / chris lee kum hoi as george sands / ocean navarro as nina pickering / max minghella as hal yorke / hunter page-lochard as tom mcnair / sophia brown as alex miller / freddie fox as dominic rook

why is their blog entirely skinner from the simpsons

81 - “Why am I not surprised?”

Jack and Hugh were driving to the city center after Hugh had come into Jack's office flustered.  "Sir, we have reports that a woman is cavorting in the fountain in her -" Hugh lowered his voice to a whisper, "unmentionables." Jack had sighed, grabbed his coat and hat, and now they had the woman in question in his sight.

As they left the car, a familiar voice called out.  "Jack!  How lovely to see you here!"

"Miss Fisher, why am I not surprised?"

"Oh, that's sad.  I like to think of myself as a woman of mystery!"

"Miss Fisher, we've received several complaints about your," he cleared his throat, "apparel."

She looked at him, all faux innocence.  "Why would anyone complain about what I'm wearing?  This is the newest bathing suit cut!  Doesn't it look splendid?"

"And why are you wearing your bathing suit in the middle of the city and not at the beach?"

"Well, Jack, it occurred to me that our murderer kills women who he considers impure. So why not lure him in with a little skin?"

"You're using yourself as bait?  Miss Fisher, that is extremely dangerous."

"It's a good thing that I know a murder detective.  And Mr. Butler and Burt and Cec will be on the look out."

There was a flash. "Miss Fisher!  A picture for The Express?" the photographer shouted out.

"Of course," Phryne replied, striking a pose that showed off her legs.  And the suit allowed quite a bit of her legs to be displayed.

"OK, Miss Fisher, I think we've given our killer enough incentive."

"Aw, Jack.  That's not fun."

"Neither is being murdered."

"You'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen.  Come to dinner tonight.  Mr. Butler is being mysterious but tells me the dishes he's preparing are wonderful and you can make sure no one murders me as I eat."  She looked over his shoulder.  "Hugh!  You can come, too!  Dot would love to see you!"  Hugh waved at her.

And with that, she gathered her things and made her way to her car.  Jack sighed and made his way back to his car.

"Sir?" Hugh asked.

we will miss you

thank you so much my sweet! i reckon your dæmon would be an ocelot

OK!

Phryne would be an heir to an Earth Corporation, probably something in shipping because then she’d have contacts across the universe.  After her sister was murdered by a rival corporation heir *cough* Jules-Pierre Mao *cough*, she decides to travel around the universe in her own spaceship.  She constantly finds dead bodies and eventually stumbles over the mystery of the protomolecule, especially as she becomes more curious after the Eros Incident.  Phryne is able to seamlessly blend in with Earthers, Martians and Belters - for example, Drummer likes Phryne despite herself and she can have tea with Chrisjen Avasarala.

Jack Robinson, Luna born, works for Star Helix on Ganymede.  Not quite Earther, not quite Belter, he’s taken security contracts across the Belt after serving in the UNN.  During his time in the UNN, he was involved in a mission in the Belt that resulted in the majority of his shipmates being killed and there were large civilian causalities.  He was on leave when Eros occurred and has been haunted every since.  He and Phryne meet in the aftermath of the Earth and Mars skirmish over Ganymede.  They start working together to try to find missing children in its aftermath.

Dot is a Belter who Phryne befriended when a shopkeeper on Ceres accused Dot of shoplifting.  Dot is Phryne’s engineer and mechanic, helps Phryne cultivate more Belter contacts, and teaches her Lang Belta.

Hugh is an eager Earther, ridiculously out of place in the Belt but wants to do good.  He is the first in his family to get off of Basic and also to leave Earth.  He and Dot fall in love, but they have a constant tension as Hugh misses Earth and wants to return someday but because Dot’s a Belter, whose body cannot handle Earth’s gravity, he would never be able to return.  And if they had children, would those children ever be able physiologically able to live planetside?

Burt and Cec work in the docks at Tycho.  They’re also a part of Fred Johnson’s branch of the OPA.  Always willing to help Phryne out and let her know the scuttlebutt in the Belt.

Mr. Butler is Phryne’s cook and unofficial weapons officer.  (Not that her ship should have any weapons!  Heavens!)  Makes a great cocktail.  Has mysterious links to the former Martian Independence movement.

E.  Signing a document.

Jack looked up from the document Phryne had placed in front of him.  “This - this is quite a bit of money, Miss Fisher.”

Phryne waved her hand.  “You’re family, Jack!  I want to make sure you’re taken care of, just like Mac and Dottie and Jane if I’m gone.”

Jack looked down at the figure again and swallowed.  “Very well.”

Phryne gave him a dazzling smile.  “Good!”  She plucked the document from his hands and signed it with panache.  With that, she handed The Last Will and Testament of Phryne Fisher to her lawyer at the head of the table.

As the lawyer packed up, Phryne leaned over the table.  “Now about this murder, Jack -”

Jack blinked and looked away.

“Oh, Jack,” Phryne sighed, reaching out and squeezing one of his hands.  “There’s no need to worry.  I don’t plan on ever dying!”