#lcpo

There was no time for a break. Taking a breath was all they could do. IT could be anywhere in that place, sitting down, not moving could be dangerous. But so was moving.

Bill, as always, led the group. Followed closely by Mike, Ben, Y/N, Richie, Bev and Eddie. Roles were naturally assumed once more. Bev tried to stay close to Eddie, hoping to provide comfort, hoping to be able to protect him. Although her heart longed to be further in the front. With the man who had captured her heart through a postcard. But she couldn’t leave Eddie behind. It would feel like betraying him. Especially now that Eddie couldn’t even bear looking at Richie without tears welling up in his eyes. Bev could see it. She saw the hurt. But she didn’t know how to help. She didn’t know how the Toziers felt and, frankly, she felt that there were more pressing matters that required her attention.

“A lot of memories, huh?” Ben grumbled, stopping for a moment to look at the well before them. “All bad.”

“Try looking at it this way. This is the last time you’ll have to go down there.” Y/N threw in as she stood by Ben before all of them took the last few steps. The last few steps before the abyss. Before they would climb down again and be faced with things none of them had expected to see again.

Ben smiled at her sadly as he walked, hand reaching over to give her a gentle pat on the shoulder. Y/N returned the smile but her body shook with fear as she stepped down the wobbly, ominously creaking stairs.

What followed was an agonisingly slow descend down the well that held so many dangers. Mike went first. With their generally broader frames, the adults had an easier time gripping the walls, slowly climbing down. None of them showed much of a struggle as they climbed down. Mike, then Bill, Ben, Richie, who helped Y/N, making sure that she wouldn’t get hurt, and at last there were Eddie and Bev.

“Aw, man.” Y/N said as she left the tunnel, stepping into the water of the sewers. Her shoes immediately filled with water and she was sure they would make a disgusting squelching sound whenever she took a step if she wasn’t dragging her feet through the muggy water. A smell that almost burned in her eyes filled her nostrils and as she looked up at Richie, she was sure that she wasn’t the only one overcome with nausea. Richie’s face was as white as a ghost and his hands were evidently shaking. His flashlight moved unsteadily.

“Bleurgh, Grey water.” Eddie said as he jumped into the water, followed by Beverly. She spared a glance directed at Y/N and Richie before taking a second to look around the tunnels that seemed eerily familiar yet incredibly foreign.

“You good?” Y/N asked Eddie who looked up at her with widened eyes. He nodded quickly, opening his mouth to say something before closing it again and moving forward. Richie watched the moment, uneasiness washing over him as Eddie hid away in a shell that Richie wasn’t used to. Y/N looked up at her father, her eyes filled with worry. Richie nodded in understanding  before they, too, followed the group, moving together as one.

As if natural, they moved through the tunnels, echoes of the waves they created preceded their own steps.  It was an almost calm atmosphere if it wasn’t for the looming darkness, the evil around every corner, behind every wall, hidden away just behind them, maybe in front, but never leaving them alone.

“How do you guys know where you’re going?” Y/N dared to ask, breaking the silence that laid itself over the Losers like a net, trapping them effectively.

“We don’t.” Mike replied. “We just follow our instincts.”

Y/N nodded but she didn’t understand. Richie inhaled sharply through his nose. He wasn’t even sure they understood. But it didn’t matter. Not really. Walking a certain direction just felt either right or wrong. That’s how they knew. But just to be sure, Eddie was walking close to the front, he was the one with the best orientation, even in the sewers where every path looked like the one before.

The water was rising gradually. At first it only reached Y/N’s ankles, then her calves, her thighs and, as they reached what seemed to be a destination, the water almost reached over her hips.

“Shit. This is it. This is where it happened.” Ben said, the words just flowing out of his mouth. Like he had no control over his speech anymore. And he probably hadn’t.

A shiver ran down Y/N’s spine. Ice cold, like a shower. Her body jerked as her eyes landed on the construction in the middle of the room. A wooden platform, surrounded by rubbish, trash, probably debris. Y/N was sure she could even spot a few toys, the thought making her sick to the stomach.

“Is this where IT took the kids to float?” she asked the group, their solemn faces in return were enough of an answer. Bile rose to her mouth, the girl clutched her stomach in hopes to calm it down. Beverly laid a hand on her back as Richie looked at her with curious yet worried eyes. She shook them off, shaking her head as she mustered up a smile. Y/N swallowed the bile before stepping closer to the room that held so many previous dangers. One after another, the Losers climbed into the sewer room. It was deeper and flooded, even the tallest were sinking almost chest deep into the water. Bill observed Y/N as Richie was busy climbing into the cold water himself, holding her up when she slipped, almost getting lost in the dirty water.

“Thanks.” Y/N mumbled. Bill nodded but even in the second of holding her up by her arms, he could feel the tension in the young girl. Something he usually only encountered in adults, most prominently Audra, but he couldn’t help but feel miserable for her. Bill still felt that it was his fault she was dragged into this mess and he wanted to make damn sure that she would get out of it alive. She and Richie. He owed her that much. He was convinced he did.

The group waded through the muddy water. The last time they had been in the sewers, the water wasn’t there, children were floating, and toys and rubble were stacked way up high. They were relieved to say the least as they didn’t spot a child nearby, however the relief was short-lived.

“No, no, no, no, no. Ugh, no.” Eddie said, hands raised above the water, his face scrunched up in disgust while a teddy bear that was floating on the water moved his way. Richie made a little wave, moving the bear into a different direction without touching it and offering Eddie a smile. Eddie returned a tight-lipped smile. But Richie found some thankfulness in his eyes. His heart was put at ease.  

Mike climbed onto the platform, followed by Bill. A line had formed and to Y/N it looked almost comically in order.

“Bevvie.” A harsh whisper sounded somewhere behind Beverly. She turned around, body moving on its own as she panned the flashlight around, looking for the source of the sound. The water reflected the light. It moved slowly. Menacingly.

Ben turned around after a few steps. “What is it?” he breathed towards Beverly as he noticed the gap between the two and her back turned towards him.

“I thought I heard something.” Bev replied. Her voice sounded light, relieved. Nothing was there. Just the wind. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. She turned around, a small smile tugging on her lips.

A piercing scream. Beverly. The Losers only had seconds to get a grip on the situation. IT was there. In the form of a deformed old woman. IT grabbed Bev’s head, a threatening yet taunting look on IT’s face as it turned around to Ben. He called her name. But he was petrified. 

“Time to sink!” IT yelled out in a raspy voice. A second later, Bev disappeared underwater. Richie quickly pushed Y/N onto the platform before jumping to Bev’s help like the rest of the Losers’ Club. Well, everyone minus Eddie.

Petrified, he sat there, eyes fixed on the water as Y/N moved closer to her only source of protection. Eddie looked at her, eyes wild with fear, as he sat still. Eddie didn’t dare to move a limb.

“Guys?” he called out towards the not calm water. “Okay, guys. Come on.”

“Dad?” Y/N asked, clutching her wet shirt with fear.

“Hey, guys? Hey guys, come on. Please, come on. I don’t want to walk out of here alone.” Eddie whimpered, tears shining in his eyes. Y/N’s head whipped towards the man, sympathy clouding her mind and body.

“Eddie, hey, Uncle Eds.” She said, taking his face into her hands. She forced him to look at her, away from the water. “You’re not gonna walk out of here alone. I’m with you. We got each other.” She said. Y/N tried her best to sound strong, convincing even. But she failed herself, and with that, she failed Eddie.

“They’re gonna be alright, we’re gonna be alright. We’re all gonna walk out of here and we’re gonna be happy and you and Richie can finally get your shit together.” She was ranting desperately. Suddenly, they were clawing at each other, holding onto each other for dear life. They were shaking in each other’s arms, whimpering, even a few tears found their way out. But for the first time since walking down into the sewers, maybe even for the first time since stepping into the house at Neibolt street, they felt something that resembled safety and comfort.

Anxious eyes watched the water surface.

It was still. Nothing happened. Nothing moved. Y/N felt her chest ache with fear for her father. For the only family she had known.

 Then, five heads popped up, gasping for air.

Eddie and Y/N exhaled with relief. Beverly struggled a little, coughing and sputtering as her lungs finally filled with air again. Ben held her, supported her body as each of the Losers slowly waded back to the dry land.

“Mike, where do we go from here?” Richie asked as he made his way to Y/N and Eddie. With that, the group gathered around a door in the wooden floor, something that had lain hidden the first time around. The group gathered in a circle around the door with the strange carving. One more fidgety than the other. They were about to enter foreign territory and none of them liked the idea.

“In the depths is where it crept. In the beneath to find belief. In the depths is where it crept. In the beneath to find belief.” Mike chanted; voice eerily calm. To an outsider it might seem like he knew what he was doing, but did he really?

“Is he okay?” Ben whispered; eyebrows furrowed.

“I think at this point that’s a relative question.” Richie replied while his daughter merely shook her head with widened eyes.

“What’s on the other side?” Bev asked. She had her arms wrapped around herself as the cold took over her drenched body.

“I don’t know. No one does.” And with that, he opened the door. The Losers took a step back, taken aback at Mike’s sudden action, the bravery and stupidity it took. Mike shone the light down the tunnel and after a particularly short evaluation, he sat down at the edge, ready to climb down.

“M-Mike, don’t-“ Bill said, reaching out to his friend.

“All right. See you down there.” Mike exclaimed, ignoring his friends. Exclamations of his name paired with the word ‘wait’ were met with deaf ears as he descended into the unknown. Worried glances followed him as he slowly descended into the unknown.

“St-Stay together.” Bill said to the remaining Losers as he leaned down, crouching, ready to follow Mike. Ben replied with a whispered ‘okay’ as he too watched with discomfort as one of his best friends climbed down into the darkness.

“You guys, I can’t do it.” Eddie said suddenly. Y/N felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach. Richie felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs as he watched his friend crumble, succumb to his own insecurities.

“I can’t. You saw what happened up there. I was gonna- I was gonna let you die.” Eddie mumbled. He wasn’t sure who he was addressing with his word-vomit. Whether it was the group, the Toziers or just himself. But he knew he couldn’t. The pressure was too high. He couldn’t function like that. He wouldn’t. And, with the trapdoor opened, the finality of the moment seemed all too real. Eddie wasn’t ready to face it. Eddie wasn’t ready to see his friends get hurt or - much worse - die. And he was sure at least one of them was going to lose their life. The stakes were high, the risks even higher. And what were seven Losers supposed to do when facing an entity whose full potential none of them were aware of?

Y/N shook her head, slowly stepping closer to Eddie while everyone else remained frozen. She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if words were even so much as necessary in that situation.

“I just fucking froze up.” Eddie continued his little rant. “If you let me go down there with you, I’m gonna get us all killed.”

Eddie inhaled sharply, his new inhalator from Keene’s drugstore filled his lungs with relief, the sharp pain slowly ebbing away. But the relief was only short lived as something – or more someone – grabbed the inhalator and pulled it away from Eddie’s lips. Placebo or not, Eddie felt as though the last thing keeping him alive was taken from him.

“Hey, hey, hey. Gimme that.” Richie said as he tried to steal the little metal piece of shit.

“Richie-“

“Let go, you little turd!”

“Just let me get…”  Eddie sprayed into the air, the medicine immediately evaporated, but he tried to breathe it in still. Richie suddenly waved his flashlight before Eddie’s eyes, the light blinding him, causing him to let go.

“Listen to me. You had a moment. Fine. But who killed a psychotic clown before he was 14?” Richie asked as he towered over the smaller man. Richie’s eyebrows were furrowed, emotions not really obvious to those standing by. Except for Y/N. She knew that Richie’s heart was beating faster because he was standing so close to Eddie and not just because of the clown. She knew Richie’s palms were sweaty because he was afraid to let go of Eddie, but also because touching him was just as scary. She knew that Richie was scared because he didn’t know if either of them would make it out alive. She knew that Richie wouldn’t want to lose sight of either of them. She knew that he wanted to keep them close and get them out alive.

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows, every fibre of his body begged for him to disagree, to say that it wasn’t him. But he finally pressed out an unsure ‘me’.

“Who stabbed Bowers with a knife he pulled out of his own face?”

“Also me.” Eddie said, not daring to look up at Richie. It reminded him of how Eddie had failed him.

“Who married a woman 10 times his own body mass?”

The Losers were met with silence.

“Really? Wow. Didn’t know he had it in him.” Y/N mumbled to Ben and Bev who almost snorted with surprise.

“…Me.” Eddie finally looked up at Richie. Looked him in the eyes. Eddie felt his heart swell with pride as he caught Richie smiling. Richie nodded.

“You’re braver than you think.” Richie said, hand landing on Eddie’s shoulder. A soft smile still tugged at his lips as he watched Eddie grow in himself. The air was thick with tension. Y/N watched the two men with wide eyes and a grin that couldn’t be bigger. She caught herself just in time, not wanting to ruin the moment by squealing and cheering for the two blind lovebirds to take a step.

“Alright. Thanks Rich.” Eddie replied, facial features growing softer. Richie couldn’t take his eyes off Eddie, couldn’t get himself to look away. He felt out of character as he looked at the smaller man with literal heart eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. He didn’t want to. He wanted to step closer to Eddie and press his own lips against Eddie’s. He wanted to know how they felt, how they tasted, wanted to know how this side of himself would feel.

Y/N watched on, biting on her thumbnail as to keep quiet and not ruin the moment. She had never seen her father look at anyone with as much adoration as he mustered up in that moment on the edge between life and death. The sewers had proven themselves to be an unpredictable place.

Richie raised his hand on instinct, wanting to lay it on Eddie’s cheek, cup it to pull Eddie closer, but he forgot about the bandage that still covered half of Eddie’s face. Just when Y/N was sure they were about to kiss, Richie lightly slapped Eddie’s cheek and pulled away.

The grin was wiped from Y/N’s face and even Ben and Beverly, who had remained unsuspecting up until that point, found themselves disappointed at the lack of action. Richie stepped away, walking back to his little one who just blinked at him.

“What the fuck, man.” Y/N said, only for her father to hear.

“What?!”

“I had such high hopes for you two. And you fucked up. No wonder you haven’t gotten any in ages, old man.” Y/N mumbled as they watched Beverly hand over the rusty metal pole from the fence outside to Eddie.

“Oh fuck off, I fucked your mum. That should be about enough.” Richie mumbled until he realised what he had said. A joke that usually was so light-hearted between the two now felt incredibly heavy. “Y/N, I-“

“It’s alright, Richie. Forget about it.” She replied, giving him a half-smile before walking over to Eddie. Richie sighed, running a hand over his own face. He hadn’t intended to hurt her, in fact he was trying to make fun of himself, but he hurt the one he loved the most. It stung in his chest, left a foul taste in his mouth as he watched his daughter interact with Eddie. She was his daughter, Richie had almost no doubt. At least one way. She knew she was his in a psychological way too. She would always look at him as such, but it hurt to not know the truth, not know who she was or who he was. She felt incomplete. And yet, she didn’t feel angry about Richie’s joke. Not really. Y/N knew he only meant well. 

“Hey Eddie, whatcha got there?” Y/N asked the man, who still warily watched the pole in his hand.

“I don’t know. Bev said it kills monsters.”

“Well, I guess that gives us a little advantage.” Y/N smiled, but the smile faded just as quickly as it had come. “Listen, uncle Eds. Just the fact that you’re here already makes you a brave man. And I don’t mean the sewers. I mean coming back to Derry. It must’ve been a nightmare and I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for not giving up yet and letting IT win. And I promise you we will all get out of this alive. If you believe that we will.”

Eddie didn’t say a word, he just pulled her in for a hug. His eyes found Richie’s for a moment. Richie smiled. And so did he. It felt like Eddie had just found the family he had always craved.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged in the next part!)

“Yeah, no, you’re staying out here.” Richie said as he noticed that his daughter was trying to follow the group. He was fumbling with something in his pockets, trying to find the car keys.

“What? No. There’s no way I’m letting you guys do this on your own.” Y/n replied, crossing her arms before her chest. Her cheeks grew warm with anger.

“There’s no way I’m letting you come with us.” Richie countered; stance equally determined.

“Richie…” Eddie started, only to be interrupted by Richie himself.

“No, don’t ‘Richie’ me. She’s not coming with us. Y/N is staying in the car where it’s safe.”

“Statistically speaking, it would be safer for her to come with us than to stay by herself in the car.” Eddie looked at Y/N, then over to the cars parked beside the street.

“I’ve told you before, it is not safe for us to split up. Y/N doesn’t even know how to drive in case she needs to get away, there is nothing for her to defend herself with once that fucking clown comes out. Staying in the car would literally be a death trap for her.” Eddie tried to argue with Richie who now looked twisted. The rest of the Losers looked on as they watched the heated discussion, not wanting to interfere. Each of them wanted the best and the best only for the littlest Loser, but what really was the best for her in that moment? Their minds travelled back to Stanley, how they saw him on the ground, his version of IT biting at his face, perhaps only mere moments from killing Stan. Did they really want that for Y/N? Did they want to risk that much? However, that first time, no one died. No matter how close. They got out of there once before, who said they couldn’t do that a second time?

“Eat a dick, Eddie.” Richie mumbled before averting his gaze to look at his daughter. The determination in her eyes was uncanny. Richie knew there was no stopping her.

“You won’t ever leave my side. You’ll stay with one of the Losers at all times. If I tell you to run and leave, you will. And don’t try to be a hero down there. And if you feel like anything’s too much for you, tell us and we’re gonna figure something out.”

Y/N nodded along to her father’s rules. She had to bite her lip to keep her tears at bay. Tears of uncertainty. No one knew what was truly ahead of them and there were no guessing games either. The Losers just hoped that at least one of them would see the daylight again.

Mike went back to the car to fetch the few flashlights he had thrown into the car before hurrying to catch up with Bill. He then proceeded to give them out to the Losers Plus One. One after another got their lights. Everyone except for Stanley. But in some way, Stan was still there. Maybe it was just a silly way of grief and remembering for Mike as he, with a heavy heart and deep sigh, gave the last flashlight to Y/N, but it seemed like the girl was Stan’s filler. Like there was a reason she managed to convince Richie to take her with him from LA back to Derry, into the mess they were met with. 

Y/N shivered when she really stepped into the building. It was like every last drop of happiness had been washed away, like she had been drained of her emotions, drained of what made her human. A cold sweat broke out on her skin and she felt her heart hammering painfully against her ribcage. IT could attack them at any given moment. IT could come for them whenever. IT could be right around the corner.

Out in Derry, Y/N had felt like she was running around with a target on her head. She was in a town she didn’t know, surrounded by people she didn’t know. Everyone could have been Pennywise in disguise, as far as she knew. But now, they had entered IT’s home. The place IT knew better than anyone else. The place IT resided and killed children in. The odds of beating IT, whatever IT even was, were slim and Y/N had figured out just that. Basically, all of them were a delicious meal, presenting itself on a plate for IT.

Y/N followed the adult Losers she had grown to trust around the house, staying especially close to Richie. But she couldn’t help but feel like Eddie was keeping an extra close eye on her. Just in case.

Wood creaked below their feet, a low hum echoed through the room with the wind whistling through the cracks and broken windows. Suddenly, a new sound caught her attention. A sound that didn’t fit the picture. A sound that sounded so foreign, it was terrifying. 

“What the fuck?” Y/N breathed out as she took a step back, never having seen anything like that before. But none of the Losers seemed to be weirded out by some black lava randomly seeping out of the wood, followed by a hissing sound of burning wood. Each one of the Losers seemed tense, but a strange sense of calmness accompanied their characters. Y/N felt lost. Because she felt distanced from the Losers. Not so much physically, but more mentally.

“Well, I love what he’s doing with the place.” Richie said as he watched the mass spread.

“Peep-peep, Richie.” Beverly said, voice unimpressed with the humour Richie still tried to bring up, despite the seriousness of the situation. Y/N felt a shiver running down her spine, shaking through her body, as she unconsciously tried to get closer to the Losers. Nothing she saw was right. It wasn’t natural, or so it seemed, and it made her head swim. She felt like she was thrown straight into a horror movie and was made to live there, fight her way through. It was terrifying as she didn’t know what would happen next, where she had to go, but the worst was the unknowingness of the moment, the uncertainty if any of them would ever see the sunlight again. If any of their lungs would ever be filled with the fresh, unused and clean air they were met with outside. If any of them would even be able to breathe still after this night or if they would all lose their lives.

“I’ve got to keep that one in mind. Maybe that’ll shut him up on the flight back home.” Y/N replied, hoping to ease some of her own tension the way her father always does. Successfully so, with the chuckle that escaped Ben’s lips, she did feel a little lighter on her feet. She felt some of the hopelessness melting away. She felt a little warmth in her chest.

Bill walked before the rest of the group. Slowly at first, but he seemed to be impatient, every step he took was quicker than the last. Y/N watched him go, not knowing if what he did was something conscious, something he himself wanted to do, if he knew where to go or if it was IT somehow forcing him. How, she didn’t know, but Y/N was sure IT had more tricks up his clown-costume sleeve than any of them would like to know.

Floorboards creaked beneath their feet. Dust swirled in the air, straining Y/N’s airways. The air was thick with what Y/N felt might be the smell of decay, old blood, maybe even faeces. She had no idea what she had yet to encounter, but the smell that tested her gag reflexes already didn’t give her much hope of a fair game.

For a second, she let her mind wander. She wondered how many people had been taken by IT. How many children had been led to their death with promises meant to be broken and false hopes of things they would never receive? Y/N let her mind wander, far enough to not notice that they had split into two groups, one of them distancing themselves from the other quite rapidly.

Ben suddenly groaned. Throaty, filled with pain. Heads whipped around. Before Y/N was even able to comprehend what was happening, Bev had already called out to him, a worried yell of his name. Something about the way her voice carried itself made her sound like she was already expecting the worst. And she wasn’t wrong with that.

Y/N looked around, head frantically whipping from side to side, only being able to locate Bev, Ben and Mike. Yelling echoed through the abandoned house, she heard Bill yelling for them, she heard Eddie and her father. Fists banging against a door. And she saw Ben sinking to his knees. His hands pressed to his stomach, trying to find a source of pain. Y/N rushed towards Ben, holding onto his right arm alongside Beverly, who felt panic take over as she watched how Ben’s white shirt gained blood red stains.

Somewhere down the hall, Bill was yelling for Ben. Y/N heard their voices clear and loudly and she felt how her feelings were twisted. She felt the need to run to the other Losers, stick with her father and the person who might as well become her stepfather, but she didn’t want to let Ben down. She couldn’t bring herself to leave him to his suffering.

 Mike joined the two women as Ben lowered himself to the ground, screams of agony leaving his lips, shaking the Losers to their core, breaking their hearts and making their stomachs churn. Ben pulled up his shirt, revealing streaks of blood, open wounds as something none of them could see dragged along his stomach, leaving deep cuts.

Bev yelled as Ben watched his stomach being torn apart with wild eyes, too many bad memories, too much fear bubbling up in him. He was reminded of the pure hatred, the insanity in Bowers’ eyes as he cut into Ben’s stomach that one fateful summer, the cuts that pained him so much physically, but even more mentally. The wound that would taunt him until he left the town and far beyond that. A scar that never really let him go.

Y/N cringed as she watched, before she jumped up, looking for the clown in a panicked daze. She didn’t notice how she was running around, looking for something that might give away his location. It happened naturally, her instincts took over. But if there was one thing Y/N knew about the clown by now, it was that it had a preference when it came to attacks. It would use their fears against them. Now she was left to figure out what could scare Ben.

She turned to look at Ben, the carvings on his stomach now read ‘HOME AT LA’, new lines appearing on Ben’s stomach with every second. Y/N’s eyes finally landed on the mirror. She saw their huddled up figures. In her state, she almost didn’t notice the white face added to the group.

“The mirror!” Y/N yelled out as she watched IT happily torture Ben, the words on his stomach being completed as IT was ready to move for the kill. The kill IT had been dreaming of, the thing IT had waited 27 years for. The first out of eight kills that would finally give it the satisfaction and peace IT had craved for years. Ever since those kids came across IT for the first time.

Neither Y/N nor Bev really thought as they acted. Both acted on instinct, taking the first hard object they could find and smashing it against the mirror. It shattered into what looked and felt like a million pieces as the girls tried to shield their faces from the sharp shards flying around the room, whipping around to look at Ben.

The pent up adrenaline left their bodies quickly, a heavy weight being lifted off their chests as they spotted Ben’s now free-of-cuts abdomen and neck. Y/N’s relief, however, was quick to dissipate though, as the screams of the three men that walked ahead reached her ears.

She ran faster than she thought her legs could carry her towards what her ears told her was the source of the screams until she was met with closed doors.

“Dad! DAD!” Y/N yelled as she hammered against the door with her fists. Tears blurred her vision, a sharp pain shooting from her balled fists through her whole arm as she tried to get into the room, trying to get to her father who was screaming for help.

“Richie!” Mike yelled, followed by Ben and Bev as the trio ran after the girl who now threw herself against the door in hopes of getting it to open up. The wood finally gave in. Eddie was standing in a corner. Shaking his head. Face contorted with fear. Bill was screaming. For a knife. Richie was begging for help. A knife. Where? She saw it. Glistening in the low light.

Suddenly, the spider-head trying to kill Richie stopped its movement. Bill looked up in shock. Y/N held the knife tightly in her hands, the blade pushed into the head. Her knuckles were white, fingers laced tightly around the blade like it was the only thing keeping her alive.

In a fit of rage, she pulled the knife out of the head only to ram it back in. Over and over and over again. Five, six, seven times. She wasn’t met with any resistance, nothing to stop her from letting out the anger and frustration and hatred she felt towards the thing that would forever have an impact on her life.

It wasn’t until Ben grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her back that she stopped. If it was up to Y/N, she would have continued to stab the thing until it wasn’t more than a pile of mush on the ground. Despite the nausea and the guilt that filled her, ate away at her. Despite the dirty feeling on her skin as she tried to end a life. Despite the burning in her brain and in her heart, both of them yelling at her to stop. But she couldn’t bring herself to do just that. She couldn’t stop. She couldn’t rest. Not until revenge had been served. Not until justice found its way to make things right again. Even though she knew that things wouldn’t be right again. What she saw wasn’t something to forget. What they had said and done wasn’t something to shrug off.

“Y/N, it’s enough. Richie’s alright.” Ben whispered to the girl in his arms as he pulled her away and tried to push her head in his chest, hoping to shield her sight. From what exactly, Ben wasn’t sure. Maybe he didn’t want to have her see IT get away with what it had done. Maybe he wanted her to just focus on him to calm down. Or maybe he was scared that some of the anger she was able to let out would rebound onto Richie and Ben hoped to prevent that. All he knew was that it felt right to hug his Loser-niece tightly as the rest of the group tried to catch their breath.

“Is everybody okay?” Bev asked as she dropped to her knees beside Richie who was coughing and sputtering with Bill still leaning over him. She pulled off her jacket to wipe whatever the slime was that IT had left on Richie’s face away.

Bill was now the one to feel the rage. Storming towards Eddie, he only had one thing in his mind. Anger burned hot inside his mind and his chest as he pushed Eddie back to the wall.

“He could have f-f-f-fucking died, man. You k-know that, right?” Bill screeched at Eddie, voice coarse with disbelief. Eddie’s gaze travelled from Bill, Big Bill, who now seemed more intimidating than ever, over Richie who was being cared for by Bev, to Y/N, still in Ben’s arms, as he and Mike tried to provide comfort and maybe just the smallest sense of calmness. She was shaking, shivering, as she watched her father, seemingly zoned out with a few stray tears on her cheeks.

“Georgie’s dead. The k-kid’s dead. Stan-Stanley’s dead. Y-you want Richie too?” Bill couldn’t help himself as he screamed, the fear settling in him, he felt intimidated and overwhelmed by the situation he found himself in. None of them wanted to be back there, none of them wanted to face IT again, but Bill was the one who had the hardest time. He was the cause of their misery. He was the cause of Georgie’s death. And Stan’s. And the kid’s. He couldn’t bear the guilt of another Loser, one of the people closest to him, to lose their life for his cause. And especially not the only Loser who had a child of their own to take care of.

As Bill kept screaming the words ‘You want Richie too?’, all Eddie could do was shake his head, eyes not meeting Bill’s as he whispered his reply. “I don’t. I don’t want Richie too. I don’t, I don’t.”

When Bill’s shouting ceased, the room filled with heavy breaths and quiet, the occasional sound of a floorboard creaking as Y/N crawled towards her father, embracing him tightly. Finally, Eddie managed to look at Bill, properly look at him.

“Please don’t be mad, Bill.” Eddie was close to begging as he felt hot tears fill his eyes to the brim, threatening to spill over at any given moment. “I was just scared.”

And at that moment, they all noticed. Eddie’s eyes were still the same. It was Eddie Spaghetti Bill was yelling at. Not Edward Kaspbrak, the successful Risk Analyser. It was Big Bill yelling, not Bill Denbrough, the bestselling author.

“That- that’s what he w-w-wants, right?” Bill asked, realisation dawning in him, the Losers and their Plus One. Y/N watched Eddie and Bill with cold eyes, a broken heart. She almost felt betrayed by Eddie. The man who had told her that he loved her father, had feelings for him in the least, who couldn’t step up and save him when no one else was available. She almost lost the only person who had stayed with her through everything, the man who felt like home. And she couldn’t forget. Hurt was deeply implanted in her chest and in her head as Richie held onto her for dear life.

“Don’t- don’t give it to him.” Bill finished, taking his hands off Eddie who now sobbed, almost not more than a quiet gasp, as he realised that his lack of actions could have led to the death of his love. And it pained him, even more, to know that it had taken him more than 27 years and he still didn’t have the balls to even think of Richie as more than a crush. Deep down, Eddie longed to be in Richie’s warm embrace, he cherished every joke Richie cracked, no matter how insulting, maybe even especially when insulting. Richie made his heart flutter, his palms sweaty. And even the thought of losing Richie to death scared Eddie so much that his body went frigid, ice cold. He froze. He was petrified. But he couldn’t tell. Not Richie, not Y/N. Not now. Not when they both looked at him, disbelief clear in their faces, eyes cold with hatred.

Only, they weren’t. But Eddie didn’t know.

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“Bill, we’re at the library. Where are you?” Mike asked the second Bill answered his phone. The incomplete Losers Club Plus One was gathered around him, trying to listen in on what they were talking about. To say that they were worried was an understatement. But the fact that Bill had picked up was relieving, to say the least. It meant that he was still with them. It meant that IT hadn’t gotten to him. It meant that he was more or less safe. It meant that Bill was still alive and not doing anything too stupid.

“IT took a-a little k-k-kid- IT k-killed a little k-kid right in fucking front of me.” Bill sounded distraught, heartbroken. He had been crying, probably still was crying. Y/N, who was close enough to Mike to listen in on the conversation, especially felt a strong urge in her to just hug the man and tell him that it wasn’t his fault. Because it really wasn’t. But Bill thought differently. It was his fault that Georgie was taken by IT, Georgie had been taken because he hadn’t been there. And Dean, the little kid, had been killed because Bill hadn’t been fast enough. It was Bill’s fault, in his mind, and it would always be.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Mike jumped out of his seat. He had known Bill when he was a kid, he knew that Bill often made stupid decisions, and Mike was sure that Bill’s want to protect the Losers from IT was kicking in just then. If there was one thing each of them remembered about Bill, it was his unintentional heroism as he was trying to protect his friends.

“Look, just come back to the library, we can talk about the plan-“

“I’m gonna go kill IT. I don’t want any of you to get near IT. I’m gonna kill IT.” Bill said through gritted tears before hanging up, falling into a quick jog towards Silver. It was only a matter of seconds until he and Silver were fast enough to beat the devil. And the devil, they would beat.

“He’s gonna fight IT alone. Alone!” Mike said, almost as though he was concluding the very short call he and Bill just had. Mike was scared. Not only for Bill who was driven to do the stupidest things, all by Pennywise, but he was also scared for the rest of his friends. The people who had once gone down the drain with him, explored the sewers with him, fought IT with him. But most importantly, he felt scared for the new generation. Because if they failed now, if the ritual didn’t work and all of them were to end up dead, what hope did the children have left? IT would continue to attack children, eat children, tear families apart.

“What?” Richie mumbled more to himself than anyone else. And, almost as though he had the same train of thought as Mike, he looked at his daughter. The girl he had watched as she grew up and had taken care of nearly every day of her life. He felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach as he thought of the things IT would do should he and his friends fail to kill IT once and for all. Or, should she be able to escape Derry, the things she would have to live through as she got back home to LA. Would she be able to provide for herself? Who could she go to once he was gone? How would she handle all the paperwork? And oh, all those moments ahead of her that he was going to miss. Graduations, relationships, first jobs, first travels, all the accomplishments and big events in her life that he would miss. The moments that would fill her with pride but also shatter her heart if he wasn’t there.

Y/N looked up at Richie. Her mind was blank with pure worry. She hadn’t thought further than what would happen to Bill just yet, but maybe it was for the better. Maybe it was better that she didn’t worry her head with too many consequences and the horrors of IT, the true horrors of IT that she had yet to face.

“It’s- it’s about the group. The ritual doesn’t work without the group. Doing it together was why it worked.” Mike’s fear was growing, steadily consuming him. Like a shadow covering the little light of hope, he had left after noticing that the remainder of his friends had come to the library. He had felt so hopeful when he saw all of their faces, despite the horrid circumstances, in the library, knowing that they had gotten their tokens, knowing that they would face IT with him. He had trusted Bill to come back as well, he knew that Big Bill was known to stick to his friends. Leaving them to fend for themselves was not like Bill. Not at all. This wasn’t Big Bill talking, this was Bill, the author with the childhood trauma, talking. The man who had no idea how to properly end a book. They needed to show him how it’s done.

Y/N was gnawing at her thumb. It was sore and it stung a little, but it provided her comfort. Not much, but every single bit of comfort was more than welcome. Eddie saw, and pushed her arm down, hoping it would pull her out of her thoughts and get her to stop hurting herself. A million arguments as to why she shouldn’t do that, shouldn’t nibble at her nails when she was nervous, ran through his mind, he was ready to spill them out, but he bit his tongue. Y/N surely didn’t need that right now. She needed someone to take care of her. She needed her father.

With anxious eyes, Eddie searched for Richie.

Richie, lost in his thoughts and fears, wasn’t one to quickly notice. He didn’t even properly listen in on what the Losers were talking about. He heard Ben speak. Voice raspy, heavy with worry. Then Bev. Her voice was airy, light like she didn’t want anyone to hear her words because she didn’t want them to be true.

Richie looked up. He noticed that he hadn’t heard either of his loves speak up in a while. His gaze landed on Eddie immediately.

The man had slung one arm very awkwardly around his daughter, almost like Eddie wasn’t sure of his role in that particular moment, nor did he seem very confident with it. Both Eddie and Y/N were looking at Richie with raised brows and huge eyes. They resembled a pair of helpless puppies in a way.

With a few quick strides, Richie reached the pair and pulled his little girl close to him. Y/N leaned against her father. It felt strangely foreign and yet so natural to be so close to him. Her whole body seemed to still be a little confused with what was going on, how to feel about Richie, how to act around him. But Y/N knew him. And she knew his comfort. Richie was something to hold on to. Someone who had always been there. Father or not, she needed to feel at home. And that was exactly what Richie was.

Home.

“Oh, we’re not going to like this, are we?” Eddie asked, making Richie and Y/N listen in on the conversation around them again.

Y/N looked at the group. Everyone suddenly seemed much tenser. Arms crossed, faces cold, almost sorrowful looks in their eyes. Sighing, and then-

“Fuck.” Y/N whispered as something clicked in her mind. Shit was about to go down.

Derry had turned dark. Very dark. But not only the sky had lost its light, the occasional lightning on the horizon being an exception, but the town itself seemed to change. It was like the town had become one of ghosts. Barely a soul left a trace. Very few windows were lit. It was like time had stopped around Derry and no one was alive, or at least truly waking anymore. Everyone except for the Losers Club Plus One.

Y/N found herself feeling more and more like she was asleep. She couldn’t say it had been since arriving in town. Coming to Derry was strange. It was like she had started reading a book from the middle. She had a very small knowledge of what has been happening and tiny snippets of explanations were thrown her way, but nothing really. It just wasn’t enough. And the more she lost herself in the book, the twisted storylines and the even more confusing actions of the characters, the more she felt like nothing was real. Like whatever was happening wasn’t really happening and she had actually fallen asleep while reading a book.

But every book also had an ending. And not all of them were happy endings.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about, squirt?” Richie broke the silence in the car. Richie and Y/N were riding together, just like Mike and Ben and Bev and Eddie. All of the pairs were ready to beat silver. Desperate to beat silver.

“Don’t know… Just… This place, I guess. It’s strange, isn’t it?” Y/N looked at her father. His face, every now and then illuminated by the scarce light of the streetlights all around Derry, seemed so young, yet he didn’t act like he usually did. Even Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier seemed to be intimidated by the situation he found himself in.

“It is. And I never missed it.”

“You couldn’t even remember it until Mike called.”

“Because I didn’t want to.”

“So you didn’t want to remember Eddie either?” Y/N smirked.

“Damn you, squirt. Sometimes I really wish your mom would have swallowed.”

Silence.

“Do you think things will change when we get home? Like between us?” Y/N asked curiously. But there was a sliver of hurt in her voice. Richie sighed.

“I don’t think anything is going to change unless we make a change. If you don’t want things to change between us, they don’t have to. We can act like Derry never happened when we get home. We can forget about all of this.”

It was strange hearing Richie speak all wise and serious. But it felt nice. It felt nice knowing that he took Y/N and her worries seriously and didn’t just flip them off as irrelevant.

“I don’t think I want to forget.” Y/N mumbled more to herself than to her father.

Richie’s car caught up with the other two. He hadn’t noticed how far they had fallen behind until he noticed that he could barely see the other cars before them. That’s when he sped. And it felt nice. It felt like he finally regained at least a little control over something. The last time he felt so powerless and so small compared to the world was when he entered the house on Neibolt Street for the first time. When he saw how Eddie got hurt. When he tried to reposition Eddie’s broken arm and was trapped in the same room as IT.

When the group split up for the first time.

When everything somehow shifted. And they were the world’s oldest 13-year olds.

“I can see Bill!” Y/N exclaimed, sitting up straight in her car seat, hand shooting to the seat belt buckle.

“Fuck.” Richie said as he watched Bill pushing a bike away. Was that silver? Richie was sure that he somehow had gotten his trusted bike back. How exactly, Richie didn’t know. Things had a way of coming back in Derry. But it wasn’t important. What was important was getting back together.

“Bill!” Beverly yelled, effectively stopping Bill. He turned to look at her just as he was about to enter the house.

Y/N felt like she was trapped inside a bad horror movie. The house she was facing was dark, the wood it was made of looked like it defied the laws of nature as it still stood. Y/N felt like she should feel silly, she should not be able to take this house seriously. It was the definition of a bad idea, but somehow, she felt compelled to show respect. Something about it felt intimidatingly evil. She knew the house would be no good, but she didn’t expect the place they would fight IT in to be looking as shabby yet scary.

“No!” Bill yelled back as he watched the group step closer to him and the building. They all were there. Bev, Mike, Ben, Eddie, Richie, even Y/N. Y/N, who was just a little older than they were when they first encountered IT.

Bill felt tears stinging in his eyes. He didn’t want to risk his friends’ lives again. And he for sure didn’t want to be the reason another kid had to go through what he and his friends did. Or – worst of all – he didn’t want to risk seeing another kid die because of him.

“N-no, you guys, no. I st-st-started all this. I-It’s m-my fault that y-you’re all here. Th-this curse, this fucking thing- It’s inside you all. It’s s-started growing the day I m-m-made you all go down to the barrens. Bec-cause all I cared about was finding G-Georgie. Now I’m gonna go in there, I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I c-can’t ask you to d-do this.” Bill sounded distraught.

Y/N, subliminally, wrapped her arms around her father’s right arm. Richie acknowledged it, pulling her a little closer, but remained silent as they watched Bill fall apart with the pent-up guilt. The guilt he had been living with, sometimes more and sometimes less consciously, over the past 28 years.

Bill made eye contact with Y/N. He looked at her and saw so much potential in her. So much life, so much she had yet to give the world. And he felt sorry that she was there. He felt sorry for the pain she had endured over the past hours. Physically and mentally. Bill felt sorry for the wounds and the scars that, ultimately, he was to blame for. Because none of this would have happened if he had listened to his father. If he had stopped looking for Georgie. Or better yet, if he never acted sick to avoid playing with Georgie.

Had Bill not been so selfish, Georgie would still be alive.

“But you’re not asking us.” Y/N told Bill. “We’re here because we want to be. All of us could have left, we are free to go. But we didn’t.”

Bill sighed, running a hand through his hair to push it back. It felt sweaty, his whole head felt heated and the slight breeze of evening air felt nice. Relieving.

Richie looked funnily at his daughter. A part of him was scared she might tell the story of how they almost left if it wasn’t for Stan the man. Another part of him, however, registered that she wanted to be there. Be there, at Neibolt, with them. And it scared him to death. Nausea washed over him again and Richie had a hard time not showing just that.

Beverly picked up something from the ground. Something long and rusty. To all the Losers, it seemed to make sense, seemed to be a missing piece from a puzzle. Only Y/N watched on, visibly confused.

“Well, we’re not asking you either,” Beverly replied.

“We didn’t do this alone then, Bill. So, we’re not gonna do this alone now.” Mike added.

“Losers stick together.” Ben.

A pregnant pause. The air was thick with tension as the Losers made it clear that Big Bill wouldn’t go in there on his own. Like they had proven to one another once before. When they were nothing more than a mismatched group of kids that fit together perfectly.

The only sounds outside the house were crickets chirping in the night, an occasional roll of thunder and the wind lightly blowing through the grass. No one dared to speak up. No one dared to say another word. But not all words had been spoken yet. Each Loser was just waiting for the next move. The words that would decide how they were to proceed. 

“So, does somebody wanna say something?” Eddie broke the silence. And with that, decisions were made. The Losers would, once more, stick together.

“Richie said it b-b-best when we were here last.” Bill replied, looking at Richie expectantly. Richie now looked taken aback. He couldn’t remember ever saying the right thing at the right moment. Even Y/N looked at her father, a hint of curiosity on her otherwise confused face.

“I did?” Richie asked, still not remembering. He felt the Losers’ eyes on him, all of them waiting to hear the familiar words again. Richie thought for a moment.

“I don’t wanna die?” he asked. His daughter loosened her grip on him and shrugged a little.

“Very reasonable.” She mumbled to herself.

“Not that.” Bill’s voice sounded hoarse. A few moments of silence as Richie thought again, trying to remember what he said that day.

“You’re lucky we’re not measuring dicks?” The Losers looked at Richie, unimpressed. Y/N, however, had to fight back her giggle, but a tiny snort escaped the girl. She couldn’t hold herself back at the unexpected and yet so typical statement from the man she grew up with.

“No…” The Trashmouth whispered to himself as his friends failed to answer. The group seemed to ease up a little despite the situation they found themselves in.

“Let’s kill this fucking clown?” Bill grinned at that. The Trashmouth had found his words.

“Let’s kill this fucking clown!” Richie repeated, this time more eager. With that, the group found their spirit. The Losers Club was back and ready to kill a bitch. With that, the Losers entered the house that they knew was potentially the last place they would visit. 

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