#laxsucks

stuck on a flight so why not vent. 

 so in austin i got in trouble cause my tiny purse counted as a carry on. thanks to natasha for the large star wars bag. took my entire suitcase placed it in bag and dragged it onto plane. id just like to say tatiana is the bchiest flight attendent i ever met. sarcastic comments the entire flight. i come outta bathroom hands covered in soap shes like duh we have no water. thankfully the other flight attendant let me use her bottled water.

 so i get out start hitting desks because my ticket has no gate number and the people keep running away. one tells me im not really here. im like i just need to find my gate its not on a ticket. she points to outside the window and says you need to go to the other terminal. i find a wall and a group of fellow passegengers all trying to get to the other terminal. they say we need to go outside.

 so all of us run. through baggage onto the street and end up in the longest tsa line ever. were standing there with pages overhead saying final boarding call for our flight. no ones cutting us a break.

 takes more than half hour to get through line every single person ahead of us seems to not know how this works. my turn comes up i cut in front of confused japanese tourist. ive already resigned to run it in socks and pjs. i get to other side just fine get two of my bags and see him pull the green ninja turtle bag out of the line. come on. rest of mt group already dashing for gete. they are not holding flight. so im hounding the tsa chick to go get my bag. she opens it and in slow motion proceeds to take everything out. eons pass. mind youvi got through austin just fine, she digs to the bottom and finds my kindle fire. no fancy case nothing.and proceeds to wipe every inch of this 7" device with her wipey things and before slowly inserting them into her is my stuffed animal a bomb detector. swear she was trying to make her wipey thing quota. then after emptying the contents of my very carefully packed bag she says ok its fine you can pack it back up. at this time i have no time. so again i take my magic big bag i start launching shit into it. i am climbing under tsa tables to retrieve my stuff. 

 and i start sprinting. full out in pjs and socks. and its hard because lax has no grip sliding break your neck floors. and i can only run holding my breath. and i have a giant box on my shoulder and towing now two bags. the gate has to be at the end of the terminal. a very kind woman works there sees me is like you need a cart gets me a cart and says go. now im a crazy person half riding the damm cart like its a go cart race to lax. im the last screaming i wanna go hone hold up at the top of my lungs while wheezing. she tells me you have three bags we dont have time for you to organize. 

oh hell no. out comes magic bag again in goes entire suitcase on the stuff. i go there its two. run down the tarmac see my group i hear people going hold 12 a. the tarmac starts moving away from the door. i shit you not i leap into that plane run into the flight attendant big box and all. stash my stuff overhead. i dont care where.