* β : γ PATHY DEJESUS, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER γ YARA RHODES , some say youβre a FORTY FOUR YEAR OLD lost soul among the neon lights. known for being both AMBITIOUS and SELF - SERVING, one canβt help but think of YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN A CROWN by BILLIE EILISH when you walk by. are you still the OWNER for GRAVITY NIGHTCLUB, even with your reputation as THE INTANGIBLE? i think weβll be seeing more of you and A GLASS OF RED WINE WITH A DARK LIP STAIN ON THE RIM; A HAND WITH IMPECCABLY MANICURED, SHARP NAILS, HELD OUT TO CLOSE BUSINESS; CROSSED LEGS ON A BUSINESS CHAIR, ADORNED BY SHARP HEELS AND A CLOSED OFF POSTURE, although we canβt help but think of RACHEL DUNCAN ( ORPHAN BLACK ) + EMMA FROST ( MARVEL COMICS ) + ALANNA MITSOPOLIS ( MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE ) whenever we see you down these rainy streets.
i. STATS
full name:Β yara cristina rhodes
pronouns/gender identity:Β she/her, cisfemale
sexuality:Β she/her, cisfemale
birth date:Β august 2nd
occupation:Β owner at gravity nightclub; formerly director of publicity at dahl co. (until 2028) and stoneage industries. (until 2035)
star sign:Β leo sun, scorpio rising
affiliation: to all, and to none.
ii. BIOGRAPHY
Χβ°ββ€ a study in genetics.
if yara rhodes has inherited anything from her parents, it really doesn't go beyond appearances. daddy's curly hair, mommy's beautiful dark eyes, and the personality of the devil incarnate from a young age. leonardo and beatriz rhodes are good people, as selfless as they come, who both let go of high paying careers in order to dedicate their lives to public service. alas, the do-gooder gene certainly skipped a generation when it came to yara, and that much has been clear from childhood.
Χβ°ββ€ lessons in patience.
they didn't know what to do with her. she was too smart, too questioning, and too objective. beatriz even had it in her to try a child psychologist, who had to inform her that it wasn't a sin for yara to not be a carbon copy of her parents. this didn't do much for the family's relationship, pushing yara to plan ahead for several years, until she could leave the house as soon as she was 18.
yara has been a free woman since. they've barely have any contact, her parents still unable to look at the woman she has become. since then, it's been one long game of chess after the other; patience to grow under competitive and unfair work environments, to make the right connections, to learn and to grow in more ways than one, all so that she could reach the point in which she now stands.
Χβ°ββ€ the spider web.
after years of work weaving her silk all throughout new york city, yara rests on her laurels, contemplating the fruits of her hard labour. she's the glue holding several enterprises together, the chain sustaining unimaginable deals, all the while expanding her nightclub franchise, and hopefully her influence, to different cities. there's now a new, albeit smaller location of gravity at las vegas, but new york city is still the beating heart of her operation.
anyone who's anyone in the big apple know the name of yara rhodes, and of the gravity nightclub. but what happens behind close doors is a well-guarded secret, in both cases. gaining access to those, though not an impossible task, is a remarkably difficult one, so you better start playing your cards right.
iii. WANTED CONNECTIONS
β associates, in any and all of the organizations or even unaffiliated;
β people who work under her in gravity, both at the club itself and at management;
β former coworkers from dahl co. and stoneage industries;
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
* β : γ MEGAN FOX , CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER γ JESSICA DAIR , some say youβre a FORTY YEAR OLD lost soul among the neon lights. known for being both MOTHERLY and SELF - DEPRECATING, one canβt help but think of EUPHORIA by KENDRICK LAMAR when you walk by. are you still the OWNER, RETIRED ASSASSIN for THE BORDERLINE HOTEL, even with your reputation as THE MOM - FRIEND? i think weβll be seeing more of you and A ROOM IN YOUR HOME YOU NO LONGER GO INTO , FALSE PROMISES , AND EXPENSIVE WINE, although we canβt help but think of THE BRIDE ( KILL BILL ) + JEAN GREY ( X-MEN ) + TIFFANY VALENTINE ( CHUCKY ) whenever we see you down these rainy streets.
your childhood was filled with the mundane . a nuclear household , the white picket fence β a childhood straight out of a goddamn john hughes movie . . . minus getting home aloned . they expected the absolute best of their kids : the best schools , the best grades . forget free summers , they were going to be spent with extracurricular activities & annual fourth of july trip to see your grandparents .
things would shift by the time college rolled around . spotted on the bench of your university , the man that would become the father of your son would sit next to you . he was older , definitely didn't belong on campus . he's intrigued by how fast you were able to solve the daily crossword . two weeks later , you were somewhere in washington , dc pointing a sniper in the face of a supreme court judge . maybe trips to the shooting range with your father did come in handy .
but now , here you were in some dingy motel ; a used pregnancy test sitting on the floor nearest the door . a pistol equipped with a silencer staring down your opponent . you've been doing this shit for ten years . . . there was bound to be enemies made ; people who wanted you dead . you beg the person in front of you to let you go β to spare you for the sake of your baby . they peer at the test strip , leaving you to your devices before a quick , seedy " congratulations " slips from their lips .
you're determined to get out of the life , even going as far as to murder the father of your son . . . the man who got you into this for that very reason . unbeknownst to you , he leaves you something behind & it wasn't just your son . . . welcome to the borderline hotel .
*Β Β Β βΒ Β :Β Β γΒ Β cillian murphyΒ ,Β Β Β cis manΒ Β +Β Β he/himΒ Β γΒ Β Β JEAN-PAUL Β β Β JP Β βΒ Β CONSTANTINE ,Β Β Β some say youβre aΒ Β Β FOURTY-EIGHTΒ lost soul among the neon lights.Β Β Β known for being bothΒ BEGUILLINGΒ andΒ DECEITFUL,Β one canβt help but think ofΒ SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLEΒ Β byΒ Β MUSEΒ when you walk by.Β Β are you still aΒ Β Β BOSSΒ atΒ Β WHITEΒ Β WRAITHS,Β Β Β even with your reputation as the Β GOD Β EMPEROR?Β Β Β i think weβll be seeing more of you andΒ Β TO DEVOUR THE DIVINE IS TO BECOME ONE WITH THE GODS Β ; Β THE DIVINITY WITHIN YOU IS A GLUTTON Β - Β THE BEAST WITHIN CAN DRINK βTILL ITβS SICK BUT IT WILL NEVER TRULY BE SATISFIED, Β LORD HAVE MERCY FOR ANYONE WHO STANDS IN YOUR WAY Β - Β FOR YOU ARE NOT MERCIFUL, Β NOR ARE YOU KIND Β ; Β AND YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN AFRAID TO MAKE EVERYONE WISH YOU WERE, Β IF THE DEVIL LOVES DETAILS Β - Β GODLINESS FLOATS IN THE VAGUE Β ; Β A GROTESQUE CURSE IN HAVING YOUR OWN EVILS BE YOUR ONLY SALVATION,Β Β although we canβt help but think of TYWIN Β LANNISTER Β ( Β GAME Β OF Β THRONES Β ),Β Β PAUL Β ATREIDES Β ( Β DUNE Β ), Β CORIOLANUS Β SNOW Β ( Β THG Β FRANCHISE Β )Β Β whenever we see you down these rainy streets.
TW : cult activity, drug use + parental abuse mention
FULLΒ Β NAME.Β Β jean-paulΒ Β βΒ Β jpΒ Β βΒ Β constantine.
GENDER.Β Β cisman.
PRONOUNS.Β Β he/him/his.
NATIONALITY.Β Β french-american.
AGEΒ Β +Β Β D.O.B.Β Β fourty8Β Β +Β Β novΒ Β 13th,Β Β 1992.
LABEL.Β Β theΒ Β godΒ Β emperor.
OCCUPATION.Β Β Β bossΒ Β ofΒ Β theΒ Β whiteΒ Β wraithsΒ Β /Β Β aΒ Β studyΒ Β in anti bible thumping + what happens when you let a sexc man keep winning !
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
*Β Β Β βΒ Β :Β Β γΒ Β rory culkinΒ ,Β Β Β nonbinaryΒ Β +Β Β he/theyΒ Β γΒ Β Β Β belial (b-lal5-4.7)Β or billy ,Β Β Β some say youβre aΒ Β thirty3 year oldΒ lost soul among the neon lights.Β Β Β known for being bothΒ attentiveΒ andΒ reticent,Β one canβt help but think ofΒ is it really youΒ Β byΒ Β loatheΒ when you walk by.Β Β are you still aΒ Β concert violinist at the opera houseΒ Β /Β Β Β blade runner at stoneage industries,Β Β Β even with your reputation as theΒ reluctant warrior?Β Β Β i think weβll be seeing more of you andΒ Β memories injected into artificial veins,Β sharing secrets throughΒ gritted teethΒ in the name of duty,Β anΒ armΒ takenΒ -Β anΒ armΒ given:Β anΒ exchangeΒ forΒ newΒ baselines and strings,Β Β although we canβt help but think of dataΒ (star trek: the next generation)Β edward scissorhandsΒ ( tim burtonβs edward scissorhands)Β the giantΒ ( the iron giant )Β Β Β whenever we see you down these rainy streets.Β Β Β
general aesthetics. neo-noir sonatas & cinematic resilience meets urban serenity
βA silent resolve speaks louder than the loudest gunfire.β
scent of serene floral lavenders with a touch of metallic musk and electronic currents of clean fabricated air.
reluctant warrior. harboring a strong reluctance or unwillingness to engage in violence driven by personal values, past traumas, and a general preference for peace
parallells. data (star trek: the next generation) edward scissorhands ( tim burtonβs edward scissorhands) the giant ( the iron giant )
here is hisΒ pinterest
here is aΒ playlist
a tall white fountain.
a blood black nothingness.
a system of cells. interlinked. within cells interlinked. within cells interlinked. within cells interlinked. within one stem.
and dreadfully distinct.
against the dark.
a tall white fountain played.
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "SYSTEM"
β¦.your memory is hazy, like a scene from an old noir film playing in the recesses of your mind. the details are shrouded in a fog of uncertainty, each moment bleeding into the next. you find yourself in a dimly lit bar, the air thick with cigarette smoke and the pungent aroma of cheap whiskey. the ambiance is a strange amalgamation of comfort and disquiet, familiar yet unsettlingβ¦ }
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "INTERLINKED"
β¦thereβs a spot on the wall where you expect to find a familiar mark or a poster that could ground you, but thereβs nothing. the wall is bare, unremarkable in every way, yet it holds a significance you canβt quite grasp. it's as though the bar is a stage, and the set is incomplete, missing the details that would make it real. you donβt recognize this side of town. the streets outside the bar are cloaked in shadows, the neon signs flickering with an eerie glow. it's a place that exists on the periphery of your consciousness, a liminal space between reality and fictionβ¦ }
within cells interlinked. within cells interlinked. within cells interlinked.
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "WITHIN CELLS INTERLINKED"
β¦an explosion. the initial blast is a blinding flash of light, and the concussive force rattles your very core. the sounds of free fall silence the mind, an all-encompassing roar that drowns out any coherent thought. deafening. the kind of silence that presses against your ears and makes your head throb with pressure. you glance towards the front of the helicopter, but the cockpit is a twisted wreck, the controls sparking uselessly. the seat where the captain once sat is empty, a gaping void that amplifies your sense of isolationβ¦}
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "WITHIN."
β¦there are no safety vests. panic seizes your chest as you realize there's no emergency protocol to follow, no life-saving equipment to cling to. the smell of smoke fills your nostrils, acrid and suffocating. it burns your throat and lungs, each breath a struggle against the toxic fumes. the smoke swirls around you, a dark cloud that obscures your vision and adds to the disorientation. velocity pulls you from the sky. the helicopter spins uncontrollably, a whirlwind of metal and fire hurtling toward the ground. the sensation of free fall is stomach-churning, a relentless pull that makes it impossible to find your bearings. youβre without a parachute. the realization hits you like a second impact. there's nothing to slow your descent, nothing to cushion the impending collision with the earth. desperation claws at your mind, but there's no escape, no way out of this plummeting deathtrap. you canβt feel your right arm.. }
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "STEM.", "WITHIN ONE STEM."
β¦your muscles recall a hobby. a sacred escape from the world, a passion that once breathed life into your very existence. your sinews, attuned to the subtle nuances of your craft, transport sensitivities to the manuscript paper with an almost instinctual precision. seated at your worn wooden desk, the dim light of a single lamp casts a warm glow over the blank sheets before you. the silence of the room is punctuated only by the soft rustle of the paper and the steady rhythm of your breath. each stroke of the pen is deliberate, every note carefully considered and placed. as the ink flows, a melody begins to take shape, weaving itself into existence with a life of its own. your mind, usually burdened with the weight of uncertainty and existential questions, is now singularly focused on the music. it's as if the act of creation itself is a form of therapy, a way to process and channel the emotions that lie dormant within you. the melody evolves, intertwining with harmonies and rhythms that reflect the complexity of your inner world. there's a vulnerability in this act, an unspoken truth laid bare on the page. it's a dialogue between you and the music, a conversation that requires no words yet speaks volumesβ¦ }
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "DREADFULLY."
β¦each lamenting note echoes through the dimly lit concert hall with a haunting beauty that captures the attention of every soul present. the soft glow of the stage lights casts long shadows, creating an intimate atmosphere where every sound feels magnified. you stand on the stage, fingers dancing across the strings with practiced precision. each movement is a testament to countless hours of dedication and passion. the bow you wield is your weapon of choice, an extension of your very being, drawing out emotions that words alone could never convey. violin strings wail against rich red velvet curtains. you pour your soul into the performance, expressing the deepest parts of yourself through the medium of soundβlonging and sorrow flourish, signaling the end of the orchestration. as the final note fades away, there is a moment of silence before the audience erupts. applause. the sound is thunderous, a wave of appreciation and admiration crashing over you. you feel unworthy. you feel seen and heard. you feel connected. uglyβ¦ }
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "DREADFULLY." , "DISTINCT."
β¦the air is thick with the scent of oil and machinery, mingling with the faint antiseptic tang that permeates the hospital. the sound of spinning gears and whirring engines fills the air. youβre lying on a cart, being swiftly wheeled down a stark, sterile hallway. the thin, paper-like blankets barely cover the equally thin mattress beneath you, offering little comfort against the cold, hard reality of the metal gurney. your body, aching and battered, sinks into the metal cell of the cart, each bump and jolt sending ripples of pain through your consciousness. the sensation is disorienting, as if the very essence of your being is being rattled loose. the wheels of the cart glide over the smooth, marble-white floors, the sound a soft, rhythmic accompaniment to the chaos within your mind. the lights overhead are blinding, their harsh fluorescence cutting through the haze of your vision, turning the world into a series of disjointed, fragmented images. you try to focus, to make sense of your surroundings, but everything feels distant and surreal, as if youβre trapped in a nightmarish dream from which you cannot wake. the blinding lights pull at your attention, and you find yourself compelled to follow them. thereβs a strange comfort in their brightness, a promise of clarity amidst the fog of your pain and confusionβ¦ }
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "DARK"
β¦your life was spared not by fate, but by the calculated decision of those who deemed you too valuable to lose. as a renowned violinist, your agents and the executives of your music company orchestrated your survival following the crash. driven by their need to preserve their investment, they replaced your shattered arm with a bionic one, a marvel of technology that far surpassed mere human capabilities. in doing so, they transformed you from a musician into something moreβa blade runner, a hunter of rogue replicants. your second chance at life came with strings attached; you were now their creation, bound by duty to train, hunt, and eliminate defective replicants. this new purpose, thrust upon you in exchange for your survival, melded your former identity with a relentless new mission, intertwining your music with the echoes of synthetic livesβ¦ }
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "DREADFULLY." , "AGAINST THE DARK."
β¦youβre surrounded by rows of cold, metallic cells. each cell contains a synthetic figure, their faces obscured by shadows, their bodies motionless and silent. each one serves as a reminder of the fragility and defiance of synthetic life. you can't shake the feeling of being watched. the eyes of the figures in the cells seem to follow your every move, their silent gaze filled with an unspoken longing. one figure stands out from the restβa young woman with eyes that seem to pierce through the darkness. there is a profound sadness in her gaze, a silent plea for help that tugs at your heartstrings. the boundaries between hunter and hunted blur, leaving only the stark reality of existence in a world where every glance carries the weight of unspoken stories and unrealized dreamsβ¦}
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "FOUNTAIN."
β¦you stand in the rain-soaked streets of new york city. the neon lights cast an otherworldly glow on the pavement, reflecting the city's relentless energy. emptiness gnaws at your insides. nearby, a group of people laugh and chat, their voices blending into a cacophony of sound. youβre on the outside looking in. as the rain continues to fall, your shadow blurs into the pavementβ¦ }
encrypt { "top secret", "π±-π»π°π» π»-πΊ.π½", "A TALL WHITE FOUNTAIN."
...as the rain continues to fall, your shadow blurs into the pavement. }
An explosion shatters his reality as a helicopter crash plunges him into chaos and darkness, his right arm gone. Yet, memories of his passion for music bring him solace, the melodies he creates offering a refuge from the turmoil. Saved from death, his life is now bound to a new purpose as a blade runner, hunting rogue replicants. Surrounded by synthetic figures in cold cells, he feels a haunting connection to their silent longing to be free. In the rain-soaked streets of New York City, he stands, an outsider amidst the vibrant chaos, grappling with his existence as stoneage's passive yet reluctant warrior.
* β : γΒ LEWIS TAN, CIS MAN + HE / HIMΒ γΒ ZHONG JIEGOUΒ , some say youβre aΒ THIRTY SEVEN YEAR OLDΒ lost soul among the neon lights. known for being bothΒ INTUITIVEΒ andΒ BULL - HEADED, one canβt help but think ofΒ VENGEANCEΒ byΒ COLDRAINΒ when you walk by. are you still theΒ HITMANΒ forΒ THE HANGING MAN, even with your reputation asΒ THE OUROBOROS? i think weβll be seeing more of you andΒ REMORSE SEVERED BY ONE'S OWN HAND, FEELING THE WARMTH OF AN INFERNO BUT NOT THE PAIN, SINS OF GENERATIONS PAST STILL SEEK PENANCE, although we canβt help but think ofΒ SENSHI ( DUNGEON MESHI ) + CHARLES SUN ( THE BROTHERS SUN ) + CASSIAN ( JOHN WICK )Β whenever we see you down these rainy streets.
ENTER THE OUROBOROS.
Youβve overstayed your initial timeframe on these grounds. Every nook and crannyβs been memorized. Yet you still walk the streets as a stranger. The concept of settling in is always within reach, but youβve long forgotten what having a home means. Though some broken part of you will always long for it. So you tell yourself you donβt mind the constant rain as compromise. When in reality youβve always fucking hated it. The memories it digs up stings worse than broken glass underfoot. But you carry on. Keep your head held high, shoulders back, spine straight just like youβve been taught.
PUBLICLY KNOWN FACTS:
Name: Zhong JieGou
Appearance: TBA but does have a face scar from corner of mouth to cheek & one in the middle of his left hand.
( tw β child endangerment, murder )
Does anyone really know who their parents are?
It's a question that Jie never thought twice about growing up. He'd always been told he was the apple to their eye. Their miracle child, the embodiment of their love. And he was. Throughout his childhood, his father was a modest man that built his morals and teachings based on the hard truths of the world; mainly faults and redemption. Whereas his mother was perfect in just about every way as a successful realtor, loving wife and mother. Everything was fine βΒ normalΒ until he turned eleven.
The sudden, horrendous murder of his aunt sent his mother over the edge. She became unstable at a rapid rate; long nights out, hardly social, a husk of her former self. Even worse when the murder didn't remain at large β law enforcement hardly kept vivid interest until the case went cold. Jie and his father tried everything they could to console her to the best of their abilities, but she was cast further than they could reach.
Everything started to crack when his mother stumbled homeΒ coveredΒ in blood. No one was given a moment's notice before she robbed Jie of his father's life; knife driven deep into the throat twice and left to bleed out on the floor.Β HeΒ wasn't given the option to run for help, or reason with his own mother for the horrors that unfolded around him. All he was given was the same greeting that his father received and was swiped at with a blade. Straight through the left hand, raised in self-defense and fear. Unlike his father, he fared better with his instincts and managed to evade a fatal blow. Still, the knife carved into the right side of his face; just next to the corner of his mouth and up to the meat of his cheek.
They struggled for several minutes on end. Jie pleaded in pain while his mother remained unreachable β convinced that it was better if her own family died at her hands instead of the cruel world they lived in. Then there was a slight break of clarity of what she was doing. She remained over Jie, her own son, knife poised to drive a blade into a vital point. It was in that moment of opportunity that Jie fought back. HeΒ bitΒ the very hand that had fed him all his life and fought to survive.
The altercation ended with both parents deceased and himself very muchΒ alive.Β He had his mother's knife grasped in shaky hands. They didn'tΒ stopΒ shaking until he realized that β no, he reallyΒ didn'tΒ know his parents. Not his father, and definitely not his mother.
Hell, maybe even himself.
Life after that incident was different. Jie almost followed his mother's descent into numb madness. Yet the support of his grandparents and new friendΒ fished him back out; unknowingly helped him keep a level head as he figured out what the hell he trulyΒ was.Β Though terribly difficult, he worked towards some semblance of a normal life. Yet misfortune laughed in his face once more when he reached seventeen.
The sudden disappearance of his best friend uprooted him completely. The circumstances had been too clean, too random βΒ too everything wrong.Β Yet the local police couldn't see that. They couldn't see past the fact that his friend was a full-grown adult with a rough past. They didn't do much of anything besides the bare minimum; just like they had with his aunt's murder.
It hadn't felt like a coincidence to him from the very beginning. Two horrible occurrences within his very young lifeΒ didn'tΒ just happen under the pretense of random misfortune. He didn't accept it βΒ couldn'tΒ accept it, and his disbelief ended up being right.
The body of his best friend turned up years later β dismembered and almost beyond recognition. All faith he had in law enforcement was buried along with the discovery. No one was there to help level his drowned thoughts. No one was there to tell him to try and move on β continue to live life to the fullest. No one was there to stop him from taking matters into his own hands as he finetuned his skillset. Eventually marketing himself as a hit for hire.
*Β Β Β βΒ Β :Β Β γΒ Β sen mitsujiΒ ,Β Β Β cis manΒ Β +Β Β he/himΒ Β γΒ Β Β YAMATO ISHINO ,Β Β Β some say youβre aΒ Β Β THIRTY-SIX YEAR OLD lost soul among the neon lights.Β Β Β known for being bothΒ RATIONALΒ andΒ SMUG,Β one canβt help but think ofΒ COLOSSUSΒ Β byΒ Β IDLESΒ when you walk by.Β Β are you still aΒ Β Β BOSS FOR THE HANGING MAN / OWNER OF EL ANHELO,Β Β Β even with your reputation as THE ARES?Β Β Β i think weβll be seeing more of you andΒ Β TRYING TO GET RID OF BLOOD STAINS FROM YOUR EXPENSIVE SUIT; CONSTANTLY CHEWING ON YOUR BOTTOM LIP UNTIL IT BLEEDS RED AND RAW; BOWING YOUR HEAD IN LOYALTY; IN SEARCH OF POWER,Β Β although we canβt help but think of SHUN KENZAKI ( ORIGIN ), VINCENZO CASSANO ( VINCENZO ), RUST COHLE ( TRUE DETECTIVE) whenever we see you down these rainy streets.Β Β
Your life in Tokyo is a distant memory; itβs cloudy and vague, and yet you still tell your sister stories about your parents as if theyβve been written in your diary β theyβre not lies, but not all of them are fully truthful, too.Β
You know your mom was an artist β thereβs a painting of you two saved, brought with you to New York β and you know your father could make the best monjayaki; youβve stopped searching for the savour you last tasted more than twenty years ago. And thatβs what you tell her about; you tell her about trips to the sea, late night tales, and breakfast in the sun. How youβd get scolded for not finishing homework in time, how youβve been waiting for your mom to get back from the hospital and bring your little sister home.Β
Itβs all joyful, until it isnβt β this one night will haunt you until you hear the call of your grave. You donβt see it, but you hear it; and thus you stay in your room, holding Emiko, until help arrives. The days following it become a blur β you come back to yourself when your feet touch the American land. They told you itβd be safer if you lived there.Β
II.
Youβll find out later that your father was a foster child of a Yakuza boss, who tried his best to distance himself from the clan and lead a normal life β of course, it could never happen. It was not for him to decide. Itβs a miracle you two stayed alive, but you never think this way β thereβs too much pain, too much guilt.Β
You grow up with your sister and your relatives, your aunt and uncle who recently moved to the States themselves. For two people, who could never have their own children, it was both a diabolical blessing and a divine curse: it was always pleasant to hear children laugh in their cramped house, but counting every penny was never easy.
Life seemed good for you, though. Good enough, at least. You never understood why it suddenly got better too. One more thing youβll find out later β the name of Hanging Man and one of its higher-ups, who stepped in to help.
III.
Some nights are worse than others, forcing you to wake up drenched in cold sweat β here he was, stuck in their apartment in Tokyo, alone with his sister, waiting for their parents to come, having a horrible internal feeling that something is wrong. Again and again.Β
Maybe thatβs why youβd savour any attention youβd get.Β
Maybe thatβs why youβd get to sit in a police car more than a few times as blood was spilling out of your nose. Hot-headed and reckless, you couldnβt even count how many times you've gotten into fights.
You werenβt stupid, though. Witty, sharp and always happy to finish your homework β you were kind of a mystery for everyone, including the best of your friends. But every move of yours is calculated. You know what you want, and for that you need both the brain and the fist β youβd never mention it, though. Youβre aware your intention would seem immature at best, and deranged at worst.Β
You try to join the clan as soon as you finish high school, but youβre left disappointed β they see you as a kid. And you are, you are just a kid β even if youβre not happy about it.
IV.
When she offers you to move together β start a new life β youβve already graduated and started your new life in New York. Life of power, loyalty, and found family. You promise your sister youβll visit, youβll visit often, you just canβt leave. You canβt.Β
You know it hurts her. It hurts you too β but you have plans, ideas, ambitions: either climb up the Hanging Man ladder, or work together with Akira and rule the city.Β
Soon, youβll have to choose. You donβt know it yet, but itβll have severe consequences in the future.
You shouldβve gone with Emiko.
V.
Youβre destined to lose everyone in your life.
You meet her when youβre much younger β too young to understand the risks of your relationship. It just burns, itβs a fire that devours you both just like you devour each other. For the first time, youβre happy β you think youβre losing your mind when you start thinking about dropping your job for her. You could do something else, you could. Itβs not too late.Β
You donβt get a chance to make that step β youβre ambushed, and the blood that dries on your hands is the only reminder of her for the next eight years.Β
You canβt remember the funeral β and once again, itβs a cloudy blur, one that will take a clearer shape only in nightmares. You'll look for her too, with a delusional hope that she is, in fact, alive β only to be left with no clues at all.Β
VI.
Youβre destined to lose or are you destined to get it all back?