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please reblog to save a life

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“but mom, harrison ford is 72 years old. he is 22 years your senior”
“that’s YOUNG. he’s still got a few good bangs left in him.”
my mom is currently talking about how hot harrison ford still is god bless
i asked if she would leave her boyfriend to bang 72-year-old harrison ford
and she said “it’d be a great thing to put in my obituary. ‘joan banged harrison ford.’”
so my sister is on her dc trip. she won this speech contest, and her prize was being the one to lay a wreath on the tomb of the unknown soldier. the school website had the ceremony up on video, so we got to watch it. anyway, while she was walking down the steps towards the tomb, she tripped. it was incredible. 10/10. would watch again. have watched again. several times.
it’s laur’s birthday today!!!! she is one of my best friends in the entire world, and my life is 1000x better with her in it. she is like the coolest person i know, so pls wish her a happy birthday!
(b/c you fucking deserve it, lauren!!!)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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DON'T TELL YOUR FRIENDS THINGS THEY WILL BETRAY YOU!!!!!!!!!
ADKFJLASDFKJ FUCK, AANG.
AANG NO
real life
me/destroying martha once and for all
me/jenn (my priorities are obv intact)
you/kgills
pft/me/angel haze
my mom/jams
oscar/windy
martha/falling into a pit of spikes
alvin/eileen (two of my fav nursing home residents. i want them to be my adoptive grandparents tbh.)
lionkate/jesse