#larpchronicle

Awake… am I awake? I feel warmth of Sol… i think…. So thirsty… i have eaten nothing but a few berries with fhio before. … before this…

Nameless attempts to get up but he is weak and the rags he wears are stuck to his many wounds…

Ungh he moans sharply reminding him his tongue has been taken…. weeping is all he can do…

I’m dirty covered in filth… I can feel it permeating my body … how can I function in this state? No I must or I will die… perhaps that would be better… I have lost everything that I am…. everything I love…. perhaps death is a kinder fate….

–something stirs in Nameless and drives him to rise… the journey

You promised to help my people if I take this weight and I will but change? I dont know how to do more… more than I have already done to control that which drives me… but the journey is all I have.. and the hope that those I love and serve will be saved

– slowly he forces himself to his feet… must continue

Slowly the man walks carefull to not injure himself further… with no eyes to tell the hour or distance he eventually discovers a creek ruining fast..

Nameless drops his staff and stumbles forward and falls into the fresh water… The water burns as it pulls stones and sticks from his wounds… he trys to drink but he can only splash the water into his mouth and choke down the fluid as he gags without the use of his tongue… the sound of him trying to drink disgusts him self loathing and pity consumes him…

Revolting…. I was a beautiful creation of the dreaming and now look at me… a horrid disgusting vile beast to be despised and bring tears to children at my sight…. Gods why have you allowed this…?

He drives his face into the water and attempts to drown himself… choking and gagging.. all the while becoming more and more disgusted with his own presence…

Broken… shattered…. overwhelmed with remorse grief and terror as I begin my atonement..

There is a battle inside me raging.. how could the great Zet’talen misunderstand so greatly who I am and what I try to do… Why would he let his devoted bring such a harsh punishment on my head… why ….

I have fallen more than a hundred times this night I believe I am bleeding from every limb but I cannot see as he has removed my eyes, and i can not taste if the wetness which soaks me is blood or water for he has taken my tongue…

WHY? I beg you for understanding…. I have always tryd to be different… Better than my forefathers.. More diligent. Stronger. Constantly Setting aside what was expected of me to pursue what seemed right, even if it was the kinder and more soft path… I have endeavored in all things to set aside my wrath and vengeance and always pursued truth over my own assumptions… yes there are times when my frustration made me weak and those who stood against me suffered for a time. After all despite my will, and self control I am in fact a Sidhe. But never for my sole benefit… always for the bigger benefit of the greater good… so why crush my pride, my self worth, my vision for the world… for i have always sought to control the foolish pride that drives sidhe to recklessness and violence…. I have always sought to see a better world and you have taken my eyes to see any world at all…

And WHAT OF my greed… oh great Zet’talen… your holy devoted spoke of my greed that brought this woe upon me and the world… what greed is this?.. I have always sought to prosper the people first. If I was made of greed like my older brother and my father I would have sought to prosper myself first…. would not have i demanded the Empress Brea pay Dae'Avels randsome? or at least return to my city and my pockets that which I FREELY gave for his safe return despite how he disrespects me and mistrusts me? Would have I not demanded all of it be returned to me with interest and been well within my rights to do so? …. BUT NO that is not who I am! … EVEN MY FATHER DESPISES ME FOR MY GENEROSITY AND KINDNESS yet you punish me as though I have none…