#languiage

What if one day we discover an extraterrestrial signal from a distant star, bound for Earth – it’s a tight-beam transmission aimed straight at us, so there’s no mistaking who it’s meant for – and when we decode it, it’s all porn. Just zettabytes and zettabytes of ultra-high-definition tentacle on tentacle action. The aliens have helpfully provided multiple audio tracks, including both the original dialogue and dubbing in various Earth languages, and that becomes our Rosetta stone. That’s how the first generation of xenolinguists end up deciphering the aliens’ language: by studying porno dialogue.