#lance bby

Sorry if there are any typos, I can barely see through my tears

-at the garrison it was somehow different. he wasn’t with his family, but he knew he’d get to see them around the holidays and such things, plus skyping or texting or calling

-he still missed them and so he thought he knew what homesickness felt like: a tiny squeeze of your heart and a whispered voice reminding you of your family, but still fairly easy to ignore with the smallest distractions

-even then, if things got really bad for him at school he knew the worst they could do was send him back to his family, who would still accept him even if he was kicked out

-and then he was pulled into a giant space war

-which, unlike the garrison or literally any other school, has his schedule entirely unplanned

-was he going to eat breakfast tomorrow or were they going to have to fight something? was Allura going to surprise them with a crazy drill that they’d have to suffer through? was Hunk going to wake up later than usual and cause to Coran decide to make them disaster food? if he slept in, would the team let him sleep til lunch? who knows

-was he even going to live long enough to see his family? if Zarkon attacked earth, would they know? would they be able to stop him? what if his family is already dead? for all Lance knew, he could die in his sleep, but Allura dismissed him and said they couldn’t visit earth yet

-he has so much more time to think of things and at first he thought that would make him would feel better, but it doesn’t

-instead he notices that he can’t remember the way his sister parted her her hair, or where the freckle on his brother’s face was or if there even was one. he can’t quite remember the tune to the song his mother always sang, or the way his dad’s face lit up as he came home from his late shift at work only to find that everyone had stayed up late just to see him walk through the door

-his first thought is that it didn’t matter, that those were only the small things

-but then he noticed that he could barely breathe

-he was gasping and his lungs felt like they were full of cotton, his eyes stung as he tried not to cry, his head pounding out his erratic heartbeat. his hands and feet felt numb, his arms and legs like jelly. he felt nauseous too, and bile stung his throat as his mouth went completely dry. his heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest viciously

-he tried to think of something else, anything else, but now his head was screaming everything he must be missing back at home

-does his sister still make cookies every saturday? does his brother still pick flowers on his way home from school? does his mom still make ridiculous cards for him and his siblings? does his dad still insist that they take pictures everyday?

-do they think he’s dead?

-at this point Lance just needs to get out. he’s scared and just hopes that distracting himself will still work because it’s the only thing he could think of

-so he walks right down into the dining room where the rest of the team is and starts talking

-the others talk back, and everything goes back to normal for Lance

-but the longer he’s away from his family, the more often this occurs, until it’s a habit to just talk to everyone every time he has someone to talk to

-he talked to the paladins, he talked to the alteans, he talked to Blue (and any other lion, although he couldn’t tell if they were listening or not)

-and eventually the others found him to be more and more annoying

-which sucks, because he needs them more than ever now, because now everything he does reminds him of home

-bathing, eating, sleeping, practicing, laughing, even talking

-and there are things he never did in space like fighting, training, or using crazy machines, but it just helped remind him that he’s doing them because he’s not at home

-Lance wants to tell them, but no one else talks about being homesick so he decides he has to stay strong

-they all say he’s annoying (wether or not they mean it) so he slowly gets quieter and basically loses his only coping mechanism but no one seems to notice how much worse he’s getting

-they don’t notice how quiet he is now either, until he says something and someone asks him if he knows how to shut up before they realize that that was the first time they had heard him speak in days

-they see his face fall and his eyes fill with tears, and now they notice his eye bags and the way he seems to be ready to fall over at any given second

-they don’t say anything however, because they aren’t very social and don’t know what to say (only Hunk and Coran seem to have any skills socially, but they wouldn’t be telling Lance to shut up in the first place so it’s safe to say whoever said it wouldn’t be a feelings expert)

-so they leave it alone. Lance was probably just tired lately for some reason but they won’t make him go to sleep because they figure he’ll be fine (again, pretty sure Hunk and Coran are the only ones who know what sleeping is)

-they’re too lost in thought to notice Lance leave the room gasping for air

TELL ME THIS WASN’T THE SADDEST FUCKIN THING IN THE ENTIRE SEASON