#ladyknightrambles

It’s so achingly obviously a friendship necklace set but -

Optimus and Megatron??

Hasbro gave you the license random ass jewelry company and you went with OPTIMUS and MEGATRON for your FRIENDSHIP NECKLACE SET???

You can’t even plead ignorance because literally every piece of official anything will tell you these two bitches are officially MORTAL ENEMIES even though we all know the war is just their messy break up before they get back together (jk - unless?)

Ginger Mountain Lucifer

But then I remember that I also consider them both a great fictional illustration of ACAB. Because the thing is they’re both cops, and law enforcement is an institution. Like all institutions, there’s a world view and set of beliefs that end up being impressed upon members of the institution.

And yes, both of them realize that their institution is flawed and needs change, but they never actually deconstruct the beliefs and world view they were trained in (they reject Functionism, but never really seem to spend time interrogating the underlying beliefs or related attitudes of it) so they end up continuing to do horrible things.

Because leaving an institution (religious, political, military, etc) without deconstructing the attitudes and beliefs that institution instilled in you is basically like the Hotel California - you can check out, but you never leave.

IDW Prowl and Optimus never stopped being cops, and even though they’re both complex individuals with moments of great heroism - they always managed to back slide into being bastards. Because they never stopped being a pragmatic forensic investigator and a cowboy cop.

If a fic writer has:

- changed their writing “voice” dramatically between one fic and the next,

- written/posted around 100 multi-chapter fics in about 18 months,

- appears to complete fics of 30+ chapters/50,000+ words in less than a month,

- and has allowed reader polls to determine the outcome of fics (meaning that they’re doing at least some of these with no outline or a very very vague outline) -

And I know that the character I am writing in this fic is the TFA Blitzwing that lives in my head, so it’s not like there’s not already an element of me putting myself into the character. Yeah I’m riffing on what I remember of canon (should go back and watch TFA properly with the kidlets and maybe my husband since he’s still stuck in G1) but this interpretation of Blitzy is absolutely mine -

And it’s not like I’m over here worried that I have alters or a system because while I understand somewhat how systems work (I’ve hung out with a few systems and listened to people discuss their alters before) I decided that I didn’t want to try to write Blitzy that way because as he’s presented in canon is one, a very pop culture understanding of DID and related disorders, two, I’m not 100% comfortable enough with my understanding of those disorders to try to correct that, and three, he reminds me a lot of how I mask.

That’s where the minor existential crisis comes in.

When I was in college my beloved music Ed professor said something that resonated with me far before I’d ever learned about neurodivergent masking. He said that we all have a “teacher mask” that we have to put on when we’re in the classroom. It’s what helps us stay professional and helps us do our job.

I didn’t realize until I sat down to write Blitzwing’s POV, how I interpret his own opinions of his multiple faces, just how much I mask and how it explains why I can’t understand other people’s behavior sometimes. Like especially professionalism kinds of situations - you set a boundary of behavior in a certain situation, you stick to it. I cannot understand how other teachers and volunteers can’t separate their personal feelings about students from how they dealt with them professionally. My teacher mask is by no means a solid wall or a completely different person, but it is a defined persona. Mrs. KnightSkye the teacher will present both sides of a conflict as evenly and unjudgementally as she can, refrain from profanity and innuendo, and dress in a neat and tidy manner. LadyKnightSkye the person beneath the mask was raised in a barn - she’s got strong opinions, language, and doesn’t mind her tits hangin out or her panty line showing as long as she’s comfortable.

Mrs. KnightSkye is not a separate piece of my psyche, but she is a costume I put on and take off. I am mentally a cosplayer, a clown down to the depths of my soul.

And I figured it out while trying to write a romantic comedy featuring alien robots.

Jacob is an American Staffordshire Terrier.

(BTW, this is my AmStaff mix, ironically named Joe. May my sweet boy always rest in peace.)

Jacob is an AmStaff because he’s family-oriented and loyal. He’s strong-willed, but not so stubborn as to be inflexible. He’s patient and likes having a purpose, but sitting still and waiting won’t drive him crazy either. He has the capacity to be very loving, but one should never forget his past because he’s liable to bite if he feels the need. He was taught from a young age to guard his resources and his brothers, and that means that he’ll snarl and snap as soon as either of those things are even implied to be under threat.

Joseph is a Siberian Husky.

Joseph is a Siberian Husky because he is affectionate and open, but oooo is he stubborn and mouthy. If he doesn’t have an outlet for his energies, he’ll make one. If that involves planning how to take over an entire county, well - You shoulda thought of that before you let him in your house. He’s surprisingly sneaky and mischievous but he doesn’t mean it to be bad! He’s trying to help. He’s just not always great at it.

John is a Chihuahua.

John is a Chihuahua because while he looks all cute and cuddly like Joseph, he’s really more like Jacob. He has his people, people he’ll love and protect, but because of his experiences he’s not actually all that open to strangers. People think he’s cute and harmless, up until he mauls them for transgressing his boundaries. The tragedy is, his meanness is purely due to human error - if he’d been treated with understanding and allowed to form secure, stable attachments, he wouldn’t be this way.

THREE! HALO IS ABOUT THREE (3) ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED GENTLE GIANTS -

And Kelly.