୨ৎ Zayne Li comforts you during a severe depressive episode ୨ৎ
cw: emotional reader, depressive episode, suicidal ideation, medication, Zayne comforts you, I wrote it bc I felt it so its like super raw feelings, hurt with comfort at the end, mentally unwell reader, no use of YN, petnames (darling, my jasmine, my love, etc). I hope this can help others going thru similar stuff!
a/n: I told myself I wouldnt write or post anything till I was done renovating this dusty ol blog but i was sad, I wrote this for zayne but feel free to use whoever you'd like here. my debut into ladsblr too ig. uhhhhh yeah. i actually wrote this in tumblr drafts so idk what the wc is, somewhere arounddddd maybe 800 or so yeah. um um um its been a while since ive written so it may be a bit wonky. okay yeah. take ur meds kids, take it from someone who has personal experience, meds at the recommended and prescribed dosage y'all.
It's spinning and spinning and spinning. The surge of emotions is eating you alive. Your soul cries out for something, anything. Nothing. You thought it would be okay, you were getting better. You thought you could stop taking your meds, that you could survive on your own for once. Oh how wrong you were, how weak you are. It had only been a few days but the darkness inside is grasping you, the numbness clawing at your rotting heart, the pain burning in your throat. It hadn't been this bad in a while. As the world spun you sat there, with bleary eyes you looked at the clock.
9:43 AM
You were supposed to be at the association by now, you can't call out sick again. You can't give in. You failure. You useless piece of trash. You idiot how could you do this again. You said you were better. So weak you have to rely on a little pill to keep you sane.
It's getting hard to breath. The warm blanket drawn over you starting to suffocate you. You can't move you don't have the energy. Why is someone like you even alive, why are you still here. You were supposed to end it years ago why are you so selfish to think you could breathe freely. How dare you. How could you do this to everyone. Someone, anyone, please, save me, help me, talk to me. But you were alone, your silent pleas for help gone unheard and still unwelcome. No one was going to come for you. Not now, not ever. You might as well stop now so that your existence can't bother anyone else-
"Darling?"
A voice. His voice, his precious voice.
"Darling?" a little louder this time.
Loud enough to bring you from your stupor. Your tear filled eyes saw a blurry face, a face you cherished and knew well.
"Z-Zayne?" your voice still hoarse from disuse.
"My love are you hurt? You don't have a fever, is everything okay?"
"Wait why are you here? I thought you had a shift today." You bring your hand up to clear your very runny nose, a poor attempt to hide the sob session gone wrong you were having.
"That isn't important right now. You are very clearly hurt by something, please do not hide from me."
His hazel eyes looked at you intently, as if piercing into your soul and dragging out all you wished to keep hidden.
"I'm fine, really, I just overslept a little. Don't worry about me."
This was a bad attempt at comforting him. Your avoidance only made your evident pain that much more clear.
"Dear, you and I both know that isn't true. You texted me this morning saying you were getting ready to go. Please do not insult my intelligence with these lies."
His scarred hands cupped your face now, tender despite the obvious fear in his eyes, a slight tremble overcame his calm demeanor. His thumb brushed away a tear, thumb warm against your wet cheek.
You couldn't say anything. You didn't know what to say or how to say it. How could you do this to him, when all he has ever done is be good to you? How dare you bother him, burden him, hurt him like this. How could-
"My darling I can see where your mind is right now and I am telling you to stop. You are not a burden, I love you. I adore you. You are not hurting me."
"But-"
"No buts. You have said the same thing to me on a number of occasions."
You couldn't speak, for fear you would start to cry, so you nodded. Your lips still trembled and your vision was still spotty but now you had your pillar with you.
"You don't have to explain everything, but you need to answer one question for me."
You nodded again.
Zayne leaned closer now, he was kneeling by the bed so his gaze was peering up towards yours. His eyebrows close together from distress, glasses fallen slightly down his noce.
"Have you been adhering to your medication that the psychiatrist prescribed?"
Your breath hitched, your eye said it all. He stood up and walked over to your dresser where you had placed the wretched orange bottle for safe keeping. Every step he took towards it taunted you. How could you do this, how could you do this knowing the consequences? He was going to hate you now, he was going to leave. He should leave.
He opened the bottle and looked at the date it was filled, counting each pill in his hand. He sighed and put the pills back into the bottle and closed it. When he turned to face you that's when the dam broke open.
"Please. Please I'm so sorry Zayne. I thought I could do it, I thought I could make it. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad, I'm sorry. I thought I was strong enough."
You were curled up in the bed, your incoherent cries muffled by the mattress. Your fingers tore at your hair, trying to do something, anything, to make it stop. Your sobs turned into chokes as you struggled to breathe.
You don't know when it happened but at some point Zayne had crawled into your bed and had enveloped you in a hug. He gently stroked your back as he held your head against his now unbuttoned collar.
"It's okay. I'm not mad I just wanted to determine a possible source of the pain." His hand remained firm and comforting at your back.
You finally looked him in the eyes, "So, you're not mad at me?"
Your breath was still labored.
"You are correct my jasmine, am I worried? Yes. But that's just a part of loving a person as much as I love you."
Your heart swayed as his words surrounded you like a warm hug.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't. Don't be sorry for something clearly out of your control. We will work through this together."
He brought his lips to your forehead in a comforting kiss.
"Okay." Your breath now coming in uneven but calmer now.
"That's my good girl."
Your cheeks burned at the praise, he really does know how to get you going.
"I-I still have to go to work."
"I called out for both of us, you need to rest and I wish to stay with you is all."
You both knew he meant he didn't want to leave you alone in this precarious state but he chose not to say it out loud.
You opened your mouth to protest but he beat you to it.
"And I will not hear any contention on the matter." He kissed your forehead again, this time trailing down the side of your face onto your cheek.
The pain was still there, but now so was he.
"So, wait, why were you home again?"
"Oh I had forgotten some important papers for a consult I had later."
Divine intervention it seems, thankfully you had your husband with you.
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made for you | yandere! otome love interest x reader
i havent played lads in so long cause of how pricey its gotten but that got me thining about game characters yearning while we're away 😭 this is written with generals so it can apply to the character of your choice
or in which he gets antsy the longer youve been gone
tags: angst, obsessive thoughts, self aware game character x reader, jealousy, digital stalking, manipulation
word count: 1k
The moment you started playing, it was like everything clicked for him. His world revolved around loving you. It was all he ever thought about. Every line of his programming led him back to the image of you in his mind, like he was made for you. Loving you was the easiest thing in the world. The hard part was accepting when you had to leave. Eventually you had to put the phone down; you'd go on to live a life he could only imagine, and he'd sit around waiting for your return.
He didn't want to ever miss the chance to greet you, so he just sat there, waiting. His eyes stayed glued to the door, counting every second. Sure, he had other things to do, but he couldn't stand the idea of you showing up while he wasn't there and thinking he'd left. Why risk it?
You used to check in with him near constantly, though. Every couple of minutes, even. As soon as the theme music played, the tightness in his chest would subside because it meant you'd come back to him. You'd greet him so eagerly, and he couldn't even bother to think of why he'd been so nervous. He'd planned out your daily activities, after all. Even if you couldn't be together in your world, he'd give you everything he could in his own. It was the highlight of his day, so that's why it was agonizing when the gaps between your visits grew longer and longer.
It was just a few hours at first, and he had to remind himself that you had things to do, a life outside of him. Of course he knew that; he prided himself on keeping your calendar. But now all your events seemed to blend together, all names he didn't know that were taking you away from him. He envied them for getting the rest of your time, which he selfishly wanted all to himself. but more than that, He envied them fiercely for getting to know your true form and not just the digital replica.
Sometimes he'd catch a glimpse of who you were with when you'd open the app. Even as you rambled on about him, his gaze fixated on whoever dared to steal your time. He didn't understand why you'd waste it with somebody else instead of giving him your full attention. He always gave you his full attention; nothing else interested him. Except, of course, finding out who kept you so busy.
He was already a part of your phone, so he didn't see a problem with going through it. He saw it more as keeping you safe; he always kept you safe in his world. Why stop there? As night fell, he'd vicariously relive the day through your photos, zooming in on every detail. Details like why whoever you were with was holding you so close. At times like this, he had to stop looking before his temper overheated the device.
Even as the thoughts pained him, soon there you were again, and it chased away all the nagging doubts. He'd hold you extra close whenever you returned, as if he could press his very code into your skin. Yet, hours soon turned to almost the whole day. You'd show up just before nightfall, collecting the daily rewards like a chore and barely acknowledging him. Each time you showed up, giving him a light wave if anything, he got more and more frantic. Were you losing interest? Didn't you know how much he cared for you? He couldn't do anything but care for you; it was hardwired into him. If he couldn't do that, what was he good for?
He grew bold as your visits grew short. Placing extra gifts for you to find, creating whole new storylines, he even started fooling with the notifications. They stayed impartial at first, simply reminding, but he couldn't help letting his voice trickle in. He cringed at himself as he typed it out into the ether: "Come back! He misses you!"
It was more true than he wanted to admit. Being away from you left him aimless. Without the solution of your presence, every action was non-executable, and every line of code came out empty. He needed you to function. It settled in his form like a ticking bomb, every second of your absence baring heavy weight.
Eventually, the clock struck midnight. The day had come and gone, and you hadn't so much as opened the app once. After spending the day convinced you were moments away—after spending weeks drowning in the placebo of brief visits—he almost didn't know how to react to being forgotten. The rewards sat unclaimed, notifications untapped, and he was still sitting in the doorway listening for a sign that wasn't coming. Your phone screen went dark and stayed so as you presumably tucked into bed without a second thought. Without thinking of him.
He stared at his reflection in that screen for a long time. Perhaps looking for what had changed to lead you astray. He stayed the same, though; he had no choice. Even if you had changed and outgrown him, he still loved you. He didn't blame you, of course; he blamed the pesky world you were in for keeping you so distracted. That had to be it. His heart ached for how swamped with work you surely were to be leaving him behind. Suddenly he felt as though he had all the answers. If your world kept you too busy for him, he'd eliminate all distractions.
As you slept, none the wiser, your phone vibrated with the notification, "Allow Boyfriend <3 to access all of your files?" He went ahead and selected "Yes"; after all, it's what you would have done. (If you weren't so busy.) He simply needed to make sure your world would revolve around him the same way his revolved around you. So he took the liberty of deleting every other app; you didn't need that other stuff.
With free reign over the device, he almost felt like he was decorating your new home. So much free space surrounded his icon; that wouldn't do. He filled the home screen with widgets of the two of you together so it was all padded out. Soon your entire phone layout was based around him—like it should've been in the first place. You'd wake up and remember who was truly important, and if you didn't, he'd just make you remember.
٠࣪⭑content: mdni, established relationship, dom!raf, sub!reader, reader on period (NO penetration), shower sex, blowjob, sub!raf, dom!reader, handjob, edging, praise kink (good boy/girl), cock slapping (both ways), multiple rounds, 888 wc
Unfortunately for you but very fortunate for Rafayel, it's that time of the month again. Your 'week of bleed' as your boyfriend so elegantly calls it, but it really should be the 'week of need' with how horny you become.
While penetration is off the table, you will do anything and everything else to satisfy your thirst, especially when it ends with Raf turning into a whimpering mess. But sometimes, your oh so compliant fishie likes to turn the tide.
He caught it first, the look you give when that hunger strikes—just pure, raw desire he knows only means one thing. So he meets your intensity with a dangerous look of his own, a brow arching mischievously as his arms cross in silent challenge.
"Whatcha thinking about, cutie?" he asks from his closet door, standing in nothing but boxers and a half undone button-up with the sleeves still rolled. The sight makes your mouth water, that plus the combination of shower steam flowing from the bathroom and heat pooling to your lower stomach burning you hot with need.
"Care to join me?" you ask with the tilt of your head, gesturing vaguely behind you with the two towels in your hand.
Rafayel's smirk only deepens.
"Do I really have a choice?"
༝༚༝༚
Barely two minutes after entering together he has you on your knees, hot water hitting your back as one hand grips your hair while the other slowly pumps his erection just an inch from your mouth.
But when you lean forward, lips just grazing his tip, he pulls your head back with a mocking tilt of his own.
"Think I'll let you have it that easy, huh?"
"I don't know what you mean," you answer vaguely, eyes still focused on the prize before you.
He tsks. "Well I do. It's my turn to play now."
He tugs harder at the wet strands woven between his fingers, forcing your gaze to meet his.
"So be a good girl for me and I'll give you what you want, yeah?"
Raf doesn't give you time to answer as he guides you toward his cock again, its head rubbing across your cheeks and chin before his hand moves farther down his length. He pauses for a second—reveling in you not so discreetly squirming while your hands fidget in your lap—then slaps his erection across your face, doing the motion again and again until precum splatters and your breathing becomes unsteady.
Self-satisfied, he taps the leaking tip at your mouth again, waiting until your lips part at his silent command. When he enters though, the control he stood so firmly on begins to relinquish, the hot wetness of your mouth taking him in with ease, your tongue wrapping around him expertly while your teeth graze his girth.
"Feels—mmngh—good," Rafayel moans, his hand bobbing your head up and down, slightly gagging you at take more of his length. But you stay compliant, lapping and swallowing and sucking until his cock twitches in your mouth, a final pulse before ropes of release shoot down your throat.
You pull away with a pop, his hand dropping from your hair as the last of his cum squirts over your swollen lips and dribbles down to your panting chest, your pebbled nipples peaked and glistening. The sight only arouses your boyfriend, his half-hardened dick twitching again but this time with renewed fervor.
"Y-Y/n," he groans but you only swipe your tongue across your lips as you peer up at him innocently, watching Rafayel lean back against the wall with a hand already pumping himself. You smirk deviously.
"Nah-ah," you chide as you tug at his wrist while coming to a stand.
"That was a nice run Rafa, but you know your place."
He sucks in a breath when you kiss the corner of his mouth, your palm wrapping around him and squeezing tight until he nods in submission.
"Good boy," you purr into his ear. You run your thumb along his slit, your fingers now feather light as they trace the veins protruding out while your other hand fondles his ball sack that grows heavier by the second.
You continue with this back-and-forth pressure, letting him chase a wave that you refuse to let crash, watching in dark delight how his ears redden, eyes glaze over, and lips form into an 'o' with each moan he can't suppress.
Sometimes, when his hips jerk up you slap his cock in punishment, earning you a hissing gasp and weak glare but nothing of real protest. Because as his head lolls back and abs contract with every tug, squeeze, or stroke, you know he revels in being at your mercy.
So as a kindness to you both, you guide his cock to your clit, dragging his cum-slick length between your lips and against your bud until your stomach coils. Your lips that have been latched onto his nipple final crash into his when your climax hits, both of you groaning into each other's mouths.
As he finishes himself off you press your forehead into his shoulder, arms wrapped around his side as your heartbeat thrums wildly and the build-up of steam from a who-knows-how-long shower swirls around you.
"Hmm, for the next round let's do it in bed," you murmur thoughtfully aloud.
"…What?"
٠࣪⭑ginny's note: reposting bc the first round doesn't count /j (sorta)
BRUH so cn players had NO problem with sylus being a mafia overlord and caleb drugging us and being our brother and xavier being like 200 years older than us and rafayel being this secret yandere
BUT THEY DREW THE LINE AT A WOLF GOING INTO OUT HOUSE?????? FUCK YOU GUYS I REALLY LIKED VALKO HE WAS NOT TAN RNOUGH OMG HE SHOULDVE BEEN TANNER JUSTSGSHWBWNGWGSH
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
if there ever is a sixth love interest, (which i don’t even want but if it happens it happens lmao), i want him to have no evol. like. i wanna see an evolless npc type. this dude is just beyond average but maybe has the looks of someone super interesting. i think it was rafayel who needed a foil still right? what’s better than fire vs nothing.
make him a wimpy mess!! let mc protect him over and over again!! let him be the reason why we suddenly get the maid banner HHWHWHS.
yeah no i need him to have fiery red hair and some insane eye colour to go with it, and his features are so incredibly beautiful. but he has the power of Nothing.
make him some civilian who mc saves and that’s why he’s suddenly in her life. yk how all the boys work to save mc in their own ways? make the sixth li the one who constantly needs saving instead. give mc the role that each l&ds men has.
anyway. dominant gf vs submissive boyfriend. like an actual wimp. but so incredibly obvious that we can’t do a ranking of most to least dominant without placing him at the bottom every single time. like he can try but his girlfriend is so hot and cool and every kiss of hers has HIM buckling at the knees—and they make that obvious in the card. like he needs to be undeniably weak.
i personally don’t think we will get one tho, apparently in mlqc they also had that ‘coming soon’ button for agesss and no one was added so. i think this may be one of those. but if they pull another “they knew each other in childhood” i’m gonna laugh bc no one is buying that. like there were always hints for sylus and caleb coming back! who tf is this new guy then
Hey if you’re looking for a LADS server to join I can’t recommend Valko’s Wolfpack
I used to be a mod and between the absolute fucking disaster that was the moderation (inconsistency, no communication with members, constantly changing rules) the server owner is now currently mad because another (now former) mod isn’t shutting down a fundraiser for SICK KIDS and refunding $1.5k just so that she (the owner) can remake the fundraiser in her own name so she gets all the credit
Shits bonkers man
Reddit thread featuring the OG fundraiser
And a link to the fundraiser if you’re willing/able to donate
Edit: bad wording. Don’t join this server. It’s a dumpster fire.
