all i want | finn hudson
pairing | finn!hudson x fem!reader
summary | you've written a song for this weeks assignment in glee...you just don't have the melody. so you seek help from the boy you like.
btw!!! | bad writing i guess (since this is so half assed), finn just being silly, that's really it i think :]
the bell rings, signaling the end of class, and everyone starts filing out of the choir room while mr. schuester continues rambling about this weekâs assignment. the task? write or perform a song about something that had a big impact on your life.
youâd been working on the lyrics for a while, but you were still stuck when it came to the melody. plus, you were still getting the hang of the guitar and werenât confident enough to play and sing at the same time. so, you decided to approach someone for help, knowing there was no chance in hell rachel would lend a hand.
âhey, finn!â you call out, jogging a bit awkwardly over to him.
âhey!â he greets you with a smile.
âso, uh, you know the assignment for this week?â you ask, a little nervous. âwell, iâve been working on a song for a while. iâve got the lyrics, but i canât figure out the melody. i was wondering if, after school, you could maybe help me come up with something?â you nervously fiddle with your nails as you speak. finn hudson had always been cute, but you never thought youâd have a chance with him. he was always either with rachel or quinn, but now, for the first time in what felt like forever, he was single. still, you had no real expectationsâyour goal was just to get help with the song.
finn gives you a sympathetic look, but his response hits you like a ton of bricks. "iâd love to help, but between football and glee, i don't really have much free time after school... sorry..." his frown stings, but you cover it up with a smile, not wanting to show how disappointed you are.
"that's okay! thanks anyway," you reply quickly, turning to walk away, but then finn calls after you.
"waitâhold on," he says, making you stop and turn back. "i might be free on thursday. i could help you then..." he scratches his head awkwardly, giving you a half-smile that makes you feel like youâre imagining things.
"yeah? what time?" you ask, trying to play it cool.
"after glee," he says, looking a bit unsure. "you could come over to my place⊠or, um, i could come to yours, whatever works for you." as soon as the words leave his mouth, he realizes how it sounds and immediately starts backpedaling, blushing. you blink, making sure youâre seeing him rightâyep, finn hudson is blushing.
"my house works," you say softly, your heart racing.
he gives a single nod and waves briefly before turning to walk away.
thursday came at a glacial pace. it felt like youâd been waiting months for the day to finally arrive, but eventually, it did. you kept reminding yourself that finn was only coming over to help with the song, nothing more. no need to get your hopes up... but then he blushed! he blushed! and not just any blushâit was one of embarrassment. which was strange, considering finn was so popular, and well... you were just you. so there was no reason for him to feel embarrassed!
you knew you were probably imagining things, but it was fun to entertain the idea. maybe he blushed because he felt awkward or embarrassed about something heâd said because he's madly in love with you and didn't want to look stupid. it was a nice thought, even if it wasnât likely. shaking your head, you pushed the thought away, but soon enough, there was a knock at the door.
you hear your mom greet finn and send him upstairs. a moment later, your name is called, followed by a soft knock.
"come in!" you call out, and the door creaks open to reveal the cutest 6'0 brunette youâve ever seen. (then again, you havenât seen many.)
"hey! your mom said i could just come up... hope thatâs okay," he says, a nervous chuckle escaping as he scratches the back of his neck.
"yeah, that's totally fine! sorryâuh, sorry about the mess. i should've cleaned up." you glance around, but your room is actually pretty tidy, with just your bed a little unmade. finn, however, takes in the detailsâlooking at the posters and photos of your favorite musicians, family, friends, and quirky little trinkets scattered around.
he walks over to your dresser and notices a shelf above it filled with snoopy memorabilia.
"big fan, i take it?" he chuckles.
you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, feeling a little embarrassed.
"uh, yeah... just a bit," you reply awkwardly.
finn grins, shifting his attention to the vinyls lined up on your bookshelf. "i see you've got some interesting music in hereâdent may? pom pom squad? snail mail? those are some funky names!" he laughs. "do they actually make good music?"
"well, my friends don't really get it, but i think they're incredible," you say, your voice bright with enthusiasm.
"can i listen to one?" finn asks, looking at you with curiosity.
"yeah, sure! you can play the dent may one. i've kind of fallen back into my obsession with him." you blush, quickly adding, "not obsession exactly, i just meanâlike, hyperfixation, i guess..." you stop yourself, embarrassed. "do you know how to work a record player?"
finn nods, and with a grin, he pulls out warm blanket by dent may, placing it carefully on your white turntable. as he lowers the needle, the first track, "turn up the speakers," starts to play.
"okay, this oneâs not my favorite, but trust me, after this, the album is amazing!" you say, trying to hype it up despite the track.
he chuckles and sits beside you on the bed, running his hand over your floral quilted duvet. after a moment, his gaze shifts to the stuffed animals scattered around your room, and he chuckles again. you look up, your cheeks flushed, and playfully nudge his arm.
"it's nothing to be embarrassed about! i still sleep with my gigi..." he says with a slight blush.
wait.
did he just blush?
again?!
you bite your lip, trying to hold back the squeal thatâs threatening to burst out. in an attempt to calm the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you start gently kicking your feet.
"what's a gigi?" you ask, giggling.
he shifts awkwardly, his face turning even more red. "it's... uh, itâs a really embarrassing thing. it's , um... the blanket i used to sleep with when i was a baby..."
and there it is againâanother blush.
"that's not embarrassing," you say with a soft smile. "that's kind of sweet!" he looks up at you, and for a brief moment, you swear you see his pupils dilate just slightly.
"so... uh, can i see what youâve written so far? for the song, i mean?" he asks, his voice a little shy.
you nod and walk over to your bookshelf, pulling out a notebook covered in stars. flipping through the pages, you find the song and hand it to him. He begins reading the lyrics quietly to himself.
"i found a guy, told me i was a star. he held the door, held my hand in the dark. and he's perfect on paper, but he's lyin' to my face. does he think that i'm the kinda girl who needs to be saved?" finn looks up at you with a sympathetic expression.
"that's really meaningful... what's it about?" he asks, his eyes flicking back down to the notebook as you talk.
"this verse is about a summer fling i had a few years ago. he was great, a 4.0 student, and really believed in me when i needed it. but he cheated on me and started stealing my phone, which was super weird. he was being dishonest, and i started picking up on it, so i ended things."
finn nods, his eyes full of understanding. he moves on to the next verse.
"and there's one more boy, he's from my past. we fell in love, but it didn't last. 'cause the second i figure it out, he pushes me away. and i won't fight for love if you won't meet me halfway. and i say that i'm through, but this song's still for you." he looks back at you, clearly wanting to know the story behind it.
"so this is about my first ex. we were together for a year, and then i told him i loved him, and he didnât say it back. i was heartbroken, and not long after, he broke up with me. i was always kind of in love with him, but he wasnât." you frown slightly, the memory still stinging a little.
"i'm sorry... you donât deserve that," finn says softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. "i'm gonna skip ahead to the bridge. is that okay?"
you chuckle, nodding. finn traces his fingers over the lyrics, reading aloud.
"and i miss the days when i was young and naive. i thought the perfect guy would come and find me. but now happy ever afters, they don't come so easily..." he glances up at you again.
"i was very youngâand still kind of naive," you explain, your voice a little wistful. "i was reflecting on how i used to believe in those perfect fairy tale guys, and then being upset because i couldnât find one. i guess i was mourning the idealized versions of people i had built up in my head, people who didnât really exist."
finn nods, listening carefully. "it's beautiful," he says quietly. "you've really captured how it feels to grow up."
âyou really think so?â you ask, your voice laced with nervousness. he looks up at you, offering a sympathetic smile.
âi know so,â he whispers softly. the room falls into a quiet stillness. itâs not uncomfortable, though. itâs not the kind of silence that comes when you're with someone you donât know, or when youâre caught doing something you shouldnât. this silence feels almost... peaceful.
youâre pulled from your thoughts by finn clearing his throat.
âiâm gonna read the chorus nowâŠâ he gives you an awkward smile. you nod, and he starts to read aloud.
âall i want is love that lasts. is all i want too much to ask? is there something wrong with me?â he pauses, glancing up at you. thereâs sadness in his eyes, deep brown and full of emotion. you return a weak smile.
âall i want is a good guy. are my expectations far too high? i try my best, but what can i say? all i have is myself at the end of the day. but shouldnât that be enough for me?â he looks up at you again, this time with a frown. before he can speak, you jump in.
âum⊠okay, so sometimes iâll say, âi donât need a man! iâm totally fine on my own,â but thatâs not always how i feel. and i know i should feel like that all the time, but iâm still working on figuring myself out. learning to be self-sufficient, self-reliant⊠and realizing that loving myself is the most important kind of love.â
âyouâre, like, really passionate about this stuff,â he says, smiling. âitâs actually really cool. i think youâre also super brave and in touch with your emotions. makes you an awesome songwriter, too.â he grins, and you canât help but smile back.
the rest of the evening passes with the two of you laughing, experimenting with the melody of your song. it takes a while, but a few hours before midnight, you finally finish it.
you both walk out of your bedroom and toward the front door.
âthanks again for everything. i really appreciate it⊠like, a lot.â you chuckle, feeling a bit embarrassed.
âhey, no problem. i'm always happy to help!â he smiles, swinging open the door.
âwell, um⊠thanks again, and goodnight.â you smile bashfully, unsure of what to say next. he nods, heading for the door but stops just before walking out, turning back toward you.
âwhen are you free again?â he asks quickly.
âwhat?â you reply, caught off guard.
âi mean⊠when are you free? i was just wondering⊠because i think youâre really cool, and i'd like to get to know you better. not for an assignment, just⊠you know, hang out. like, for something personal, i guessâŠâ he scratches the back of his neck, clearly nervous.
hold on. wait a second. finn hudson thinks youâre cool? there's no wayâthis has to be a dream! someone pinch you, because this canât be real! and wait, heâs looking at you. focus.
âi donât work next thursday!â you blurt out, unable to stop the excitement in your voice. âwe can hang out then!â
âcool⊠see you then,â he says, grinning. he waves one last time before walking out the door, leaving you standing there, grinning like an idiot.
authors note | this is lowkey so half assed but it's that time of year where i become obsessed with glee and finn hudson (he's so fine LAWDD) anyways my birthday is this thursday and i'm planning on posting something pretty cool then so yas anyways that's it :)
divider credits!!! @chachachannah
word count | 1.9k
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