#kunoichiweek

Her mind was far, far away at this point, somewhere amongst the ghostly fish swimming in the mist around her. Yet, muscle memory navigated her to the desired headstone. Her eyelashes fluttered as she stared unseeing down at the rock, which had darkened slightly with the clinging condensation. ASUMA SARUTOBI was carved into the surface in neat characters. Ino pinched her bottom lip between her teeth as it threatened to wobble. No, it never got any easier, reconciling with the fact that her beloved sensei was dead. 

Ino sank to her knees before the gravestone. With quivering hands, she laid the bouquet of lilies at the base of the smooth rock structure. The tears beaded in her eyes like the dewdrops clinging to the grass. The water droplets splashed against her bare calves as she tucked her legs underneath herself. She rested her hands on her lap and just stared at the gravestone. Most of the time, she struggled with what to say. Most people just talking monotonously about their day or sobbed about how hard it was without them when they visited a loved one’s grave. Those sentiments held for Ino, yet somehow she felt like it was a disservice to Asuma. Would he sit there and listen to her blather mindlessly about the humdrum of her daily life? 

“Heh. Of course you would,” Ino chuckled softly under her breath. Asuma’d light a cigarette and listen in silence, with the faintest hint of a smile upon his lips. Ino shifted slightly as her legs began to prickle with numbness, then straightened her back. 

“Shikamaru, Choji and I went to see Mirai yesterday for her first birthday. She’s gotten so big! Her hair is just like Kurenai’s, dark and thick and wavy… Her eyes too, so bright and red. I see you in her smile, though,” Ino smiled wanly as she imagined the funny little girl running around. “Shikamaru and Temari are keeping on with that weird ‘we’re-into-each-other-but-totally-don’t-realize-it-thing,’” Ino laughed amiably. “I wish they would just get a move on and start dating already! It’s so obvious to everyone but them, apparently.” She felt a little silly at first, just talking to a rock, but once the words started coming, they came more naturally. She could almost feel the man sitting in front of her, with one knee kicked up with his elbow propped on it while he took a deep drag from his cigarette. The wispy currents of mist floated around her still, and she imagined that it was the smoke from the orange-and-white bud trailing down from his smiling face. 

“The flower shop is doing well! We just got a new shipment in,” she said with a gesture to the fresh cluster of lilies. “I haven’t decided yet if I want to take it over completely,” she frowned and puffed out her cheeks pensively. “I enjoy medical ninjutsu. I’ve also considered working in the hospital with Sakura, but… I’m just not sure.” With a forlorn sigh, she hung her head. “I’m not really sure of my future at all, Asuma-sensei… When I was younger, everything seemed so simple… I just had to keep pushing forward. The problem is, I’m just not sure what exactly I’m heading for anymore.” She fiddled her feet behind her, digging little trenches into the damp earth with her toes. “I wish you were here. I know you’d give me really good advice…” 

Ino’s eyes became lidded as she gazed sadly down at the stone. It remained silent, though she wished so desperately that she could hear Asuma’s voice drifting out of it. Ino knew that she would have to come to these decisions by herself, but sometimes it was just reassuring to have an older adult to ask for advice. It was something she sorely missed. 

The sun had bubbled over the canopy of the trees to spill its hot yellow rays over the village. The spears of light kissed Ino’s shoulders to spread a soothing warmth over her skin. The mist tendrils had vanished with the oncoming of the sun, not wishing to vanish so unceremoniously. Despite the heat gracing the world, Ino’s heart remained a cold, sad core within her body, making it feel like ice flooded through her nerves. The tears resting in the corners of her eyes finally slipped down her cheeks. 

“I miss you a lot, Asuma-sensei.” 

A breeze rolled in, making ripples across the smooth glass blades. It plucked at Ino’s long tresses of platinum-blonde hair to make it ruffle like the cascading waters of a waterfall. The droplets falling from her cheeks stained her plum-colored skirt a violet hue. Ino wasn’t sure why all the uncertainty of her life was mounting up on her just then, but regardless, it spilled over like boiling water over the edge of a pot. She wiped at her face with the heels of her palms, but the tears continued to stream down. “Nothing seems certain anymore… I know it’s not really that big of a decision, but I feel overwhelmed, just the same,” she lamented. “I love that our future is peaceful and bright, I just… I’m not really sure of my place in it anymore.” 

Ino’s words faltered in her throat, and her nose wrinkled when she smelled the sudden acrid aroma of cigarette smoke. She straightened up and looked around wildly, thinking that perhaps Shikamaru had come to visit the grave as well and had lit up one of the tobacco buds. However, aside from herself, the cemetery was empty. The scent was unmistakable, though; she could never forget that faint hint of smoke clinging to Asuma’s clothes. The familiar aroma wafted around her body not unlike the morning mist, as if it were embracing her. 

“Hehe, you’re right. Of course I have a place,” Ino laughed wanly. How silly of her to think such a thing. Regardless of what the future may hold, Ino always had a place in the Hidden Leaf. The scent of cigarette smoke continued to waft around her as if to agree. She smiled brightly and tossed her hair lightly over her shoulder. “You know, who’s to say I can’t do both?” she reasoned amusedly. “The beautiful medical-nin who moonlights as a florist. What do you say to that, Asuma-sensei?” 

The smoke scent intensified for a second, or at least, she imagined it did. Perhaps the smell was all in her head, but it comforted her nonetheless. “I think it sounds pretty great,” she laughed. She pretty much decided on her own. Still, she liked to think Asuma listened to her and showed her the way in some sense or another. Ino rose with a pleased sigh and brushed the dirt and grass bits from the fabric of her skirt. Based on the position of the sun, Ino still had a good fifteen minutes to report to her mission briefing. “Thanks, Asuma-sensei,” she smiled amiably at the stone. The smoke scent had faded, but she imagined that he was still listening to her. The breeze rustled the lilies sitting at her feet. 

Just like I have a place here, you’ll always have a place in my heart, Asuma-sensei, she thought gratefully. Now. Off to the future! With the sun on her back, Ino strode onward to an uncertain, but definitely bright, future.

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