#kovs

It's Knock-Off Vaders Week!

Darth Vader is -- for better or worse -- the standard by which all other Star Wars villains (and many non-Star Wars villains) are measured. Is the villain a caped, pious, cyborg dad on the way to redemption? If not, why not?

The two greatest leaps of faith in Star Wars storytelling were The Phantom Menace and The Force Awakens, not least because they had to come up with a villain to stand in Vader’s intimidating shadow and still -- somehow -- be seen. Ian McCaig said, on designing Maul, 

“stupidly I tried to out-helmet Vader, only to discover (duh) there’s no beating Ralph McQuarrie’s original design. Finally ... I took the helmet off and started to explore the face underneath.”

What McCaig did behind the scenes, Kylo Ren does in-universe -- his is the deliberate story of a self-aware knock-off Vader. As Oscar Wilde said, stepping out of the movie theater in 2015,

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.”

But while Kylo struggles with his mediocrity, most other knock-off Vaders relish in theirs. This week, I’ll find seven examples of KOV’s trying their darnedest (or not) to walk the walk, wheeze the wheeze, and out-helmet the helmet of this cinematic icon.

One of the earliest KOV I know of is also one of the purest forms of knock-off -- the girl version! The Ms. Male Character pictured above is Sharlee, a.k.a. Pink Vader (she’s real, gamers!). She is an invention of the great Russ Manning, who single-handedly wrote and drew daily comics for newspapers back when all that existed of Star Wars was the first movie. Lacking Empire and Jedi, Manning could not have known the whole scope of Vader’s arc -- but he managed to anticipate Vader’s unmasking with this cheerful, girl-power variant.

I honestly hesitated to feature Sharlee first, because, really, you can’t get any better than this. You have to bow down to the sheer audacity of enclosing Vader’s skull-like face in a heart (and adding 2 head-guns, 2 shoulder-guns, and 2 hip-guns, not pictured). Her Sundays-only story, “The Constancia Affair,” also introduces two more excellent ladies: Gamine, a telepathic little weirdo, and Gyla, the love of my life.

Sharlee’s design also foresaw the eyes of Betazoids, the hairdo of Rose Tico, and even the white-haired, traditionalist warrior women of KotOR II’s Echani:

Eat your heart out, Mandalorians! -- And get it, Han!

Sharlee is Queen of the Knock-Off Vaders; check in the rest of this week for the less sincere flattery of far less sexy imitators!

It's Knock-Off Vaders Week!

If you thought Sharlee’s six armor-cannons or Valance’s grotesque mechanisms were over-designed and corny, let me introduce you to Warb Null. With a surplus of spikes and a shortage of neck, Mr. Null looks more like the evil robot dog from Wallace and Gromit than Darth Vader. The Squidward nose is a cute touch. I do admire the color coordination with his ship, and I respect the pannier made out of knives.

Warb Null, warbs and all, is the quintessential useless KOV and the inspiration for this week’s theme. He shimmers, resplendent, on the cover, making false promises of a worthy adversary and a killer cape (where’d it go?). Poor Warb is outshone by his more interesting master King Ommin, his ghostly ally Freedon Nadd (whose spikes are way bigger), and even his own ship, which buries in and out of the ground like a big goth mole.

He flits around the edges of the dullest panels for just nine pages before he meets his doom:

But, look: there is only one thing more Star Wars-y than Darth Vader, and that’s underusing every other character. We can’t all be Anakin! Warb Null is valid!

Knock-Off Vader Week Index

I’m pretty proud of the seven short pieces I wrote last week about Darth-Vader-wannabes in Star Wars comics. This was the most effort I’ve been able to put into a contained creative project in a long time. My mental health has been low, but this project (and the support of my friends) brought me to a more thoughtful and happy place. I hope you enjoy them and, as always, feel free to hit me up with any questions and thoughts about Star Wars comics and/or our irreplaceable monster dad.

Sharlee, the Pink Vader: Introduction and Feminism

bit.ly/PinkDarthVader

Stan Lee Presents Valance: Marvel and Disability

bit.ly/TheSacredMarvelTexts

A Loving Character Assassination of Warb Null

bit.ly/ClickForJediButt

A Loveless Character Assassination of Durge

bit.ly/DurgeSucks

Vampire Luke: Dark Horse and The Whole Point

bit.ly/DarkEmpireReview

A Shenanigan with Anakin

bit.ly/TheaterVader

And the thrilling conclusion:

Darth Vader’s Four Dads