#koapi

-

“You can't stay up here overnight,” Harry sighs for the third time in as many minutes.

To his credit, he’d stayed with Ben all day, the two of them settled in the crow’s nest of the ship as if it were something they did all the time. But it couldn’t last forever, of course.

Ben just frantically nods his head, blinking away the slight dizzy feeling that comes with the action, and pulls his knees closer to his chest.

“Yes, I can. Please, I don't want to climb down… I don't think I can make it.”

He knows he must sound ridiculous but he can’t help it, he hates heights and he hates the pirates on deck that seem to hate him and he hates how humiliating it is to seem so weak when he’s meant to be strong, be a leader, be a king.

Harry kneels beside him and makes a face. “Come on, Princess, you really don't want to stay up here overnight, trust me.”

There's something in his tone that makes Ben stop panicking and look up for a second. “What do you mean?” He asks nervously, fiddling with his fingers.

There's a bell somewhere below them and Ben gets the feeling that it's more of a warning than a reminder but he says nothing, his attention roped to the pirate in front of him.

With something like dread on his face, Harry shakes his head. “Listen, princess. I’m not staying here a second longer. If you want to face the crow’s nest at night, I’m not responsible for it.”

And with that, Harry flips open the trapdoor and starts climbing down, his feet flying over the rope as if he’s done this a million times before. Which, all things considered, he probably has.

As much as the thought of climbing down makes him nauseous, Ben just really wants to stay with Harry. So, gritting his teeth and all but praying that he doesn’t fall, he starts to climb down as well.

He’s just over halfway when the whole structure jerks to one side and he loses his grip, his eyes shutting instinctively as he loses contact with the ladder and tumbles downwards, landing with a very solid thud and an extremely embarrassing noise.

Everything about that hurts.

“Oh, hell,” Harry mutters, having suddenly appeared at his side, pulling him up before he can do it himself.

He hears mocking laughter echo behind them as Harry pulls him to his room, not stopping until they’re inside and the door is closed.

“I’m sorry,” Ben says immediately, then groans as everything on the left side of his body starts aching, throbbing.

Harry gives him an odd look. “That’s going to hurt for a while and I can’t do anything about it, I’m afraid. I’ll be back soon.”

“Wait!” Ben calls, then clears his throat, hating the desperation in his voice. “Where are you going?”

A pause, then Harry turns back to him with what Ben may have called sympathy if he didn’t know better. “Food. We skipped lunch, in case you forgot.”

Ben ducks his head, sliding to the floor as guilt burns through his blood. He’d always been the one to make sure others were getting lunch back at school and to have done the exact opposite makes him feel awful, especially since Harry had done nothing malicious towards him yet.

“Try not to die before I get back,” Harry tells him, but there’s a playful undertone to his words.

Exhaling softly in relief, Ben looks up with a small smile. “Aye aye, captain.”

The possible ghost of a smile and then Harry’s gone.

He’s gone for too long.

He’s gone and he’s not coming back, just like Mal and her friends, and he was a fool to think that he could help anyone, that he could make a change, that he was capable of being a King and ruling, and he’s probably going to die in this oddly beautiful room without knowing why he can’t seem to figure a certain pirate out and nobody will even miss him and-

And Harry's back.

With a sandwich and a lopsided smile.

It’s possibly one of the best smiles Ben has ever seen, and he’s seen an awful lot of smiles. He’s not even sure what exactly it is about the smile that makes it so charming but it’s one he never wants to forget.

“Oh,” Ben manages.

Harry cocks his head to one side, his smile fading a little as he glances over Ben. “What’s wrong, princess?”

Ben shakes his head, sitting up as properly as he can. “Nothing, I just- I was just thinking.”

“What’s the fun in that?” Harry laughs, then throws him the sandwich, which promptly falls apart on his lap.

As he picks up the cheese, he frowns up at Harry. “What about you?”

He doesn’t get a reply until Harry’s placed his hook in the cabinet and settled on his hammock, a smirk playing on his lips. “What about me, exactly?”

Ben swallows. “Aren’t you, um, eating?”

Harry just laughs loudly, raising an eyebrow. “Used to eating surrounded by friends, aren’t you? Well, I have my own people, princess, and you’re not on the list.”

It’s the first time that nickname has hurt and Ben can’t help but flinch.

Either Harry doesn’t see or ignores the action, choosing instead to shrug off the article of clothing that appears to be a blend of a jacket and a waistcoat as he makes himself comfortable.

Ben just exhales and gives in to his hunger, eating the sandwich as slowly as he can to try and savour it, after which he offers Harry a smile. “Thank you.”

“What?

Wincing as he shifts, Ben repeats himself, “Thank you. For the sandwich.”

For all the underlying venom in Harry’s voice earlier, there’s nothing but sincerity in his voice when he turns to face Ben and shrugs. “It was nothing.”

Deciding not to push his luck, Ben nods quickly, leaning his head back, his eyes falling shut.

And somehow, despite the rattle of life above them that should be disruptive, Ben finds that sleep in Harry's presence comes quickly, smoothly, with ease.

-

Ben's heart is hammering against his ability to think rationally and he can't breathe.

"'M 'onna be s'ck..." He moans as he looks down through the little trapdoor, at the deck of the ship that seems far too far away. They'd come up before breakfast and now Harry has told him the only way to get lunch - or anything, really - is to climb back down.

Harry gives him an unimpressed look. "Really, princess? You can't stand up but you can find the energy to be sick?"

There's something about the scorn in Harry's voice that makes Ben want to curl up and cry. Since he's currently already curled up and he'd already cried in front of Harry only hours before, he chooses to simply close his eyes and pretend the sound of the ocean is just the water feature his mother had insisted on keeping in his room.

"Mhm... y'r 'ight," Ben mumbles, his voice slightly muffled by the fact that his head is pressing into his knees, "'m 'onna jus' feel s'ck..."

There's a scoff and then the trapdoor closes again, suggesting that either Harry had jumped out or has decided against getting food. Neither of those makes sense to Ben but he doesn't want to move in case the mast topples and they both fall so he stays silent, hoping the situation will somehow fix itself before it can get worse and he officially becomes the worst kind of king to ever exist.

Silence reigns in the crow's nest until Harry sits down opposite Ben and sighs. "You have to go down at some point."

"I have a week, right?" Ben looks up just to see Harry's reaction in case he misses anything but finds himself squinting at the bright sun, his eyes rapidly blinking to try and adjust.

"You can't stay up here for a week," Harry argues, folding his arms and frowning.

"Why not?" Ben asks, pulling his legs closer and hugging his knees harder, "In fact, it'd be good for you as well, right? You won't have to worry about me..."

Harry rolls his eyes. "I don't worry about you anyway."

That stings. It wouldn't usually have bothered Ben at all but, right now, there's nobody else who seems to worry about him - he figures that if anyone from Auradon was going to come and find him, they would have done something by now - so knowing that even Harry has given up on him stings. The whole of Auradon, or rather, anyone who was aware of the royal decisions, had started to look for Mal the second she'd left but Ben's been here for several days - he thinks - and there's no sign of anything so he can't help being disheartened.

"Harry?" he asks quietly as he shuts his eyes again, letting his head fall back onto his knees.

"What is it, princess?"

Ben bites his lip for an entire minute of silence before asking: "How long have I been here?"

A small, thoughtful frown flickers over Harry's face before he settles with saying: "About a week, I reckon. Not that I'm any good at telling time, I'm pretty useless when it comes to stuff like that."

"What?" Ben can't manage a more intelligent response; that's the last thing he'd expected Harry to say.

When Harry doesn't reply but there's a shuffling that suggests he's stood up again and has probably turned around to look out to the sea, Ben clears his throat and pushes his panic down. He pulls his head up and, thankfully, it doesn't take as long to adjust to the light this time before he can say: "You're not useless."

Harry's laugh is more like a bitter bark. "I can't even count."

"Good thing you're not a mathematics teacher, right?" Ben laughs, but his voice betrays his uncertainty and he barely has time to blink before Harry is knelt down in front of him with venom in his glare.

"Are you mocking me?"

"I didn't mean to!" Ben practically squeaks, his face reddening.

Harry's eyes narrow but his gaze flickers between Ben's eyes and he seems to find what he'd been looking for. His voice is far softer than the suspicion in his beautifully endless blue eyes - not that Ben had been staring at them because, in his opinion, they're more celestial than the sky, no, of course not - when he says: "I know, princess, I know."

"I'm sorry," Ben offers, calming down enough to notice how Harry's eyes are almost the same colour as the sky above them right now. He then adds, "And, anyway, you don't need numbers to know when the sun goes down, do you?"

"No, but you need numbers to know how many times the sun has gone down since your arrival, princess." Harry raises an eyebrow, leaning back, apparently deciding he'd rather continue their conversation whilst sat down.

Ben blushes. "Right, of course. Sorry."

He slowly stretches out his legs a little, wincing when his muscles complain, and lets his head lean back on the edge of the crow's nest. Which is exactly when the world shakes. Hit with a spike of fear once again, Ben shrieks and blindly throws his arms out, more than surprised when he actually hits something, someone.

"Woah, steady on." Harry had apparently moved forward just in time to steady Ben, who's just about ready to cry again.

"I don't think I like heights," Ben mumbles, not even sure if he's actually saying anything because all he can hear is his quickened heartbeat.

The smile on Harry's face is both amused and bashful before he replies: "It's not exactly a brilliant first experience to make your judgement upon though."

Ben nods, then frowns. "You might not be a great mathematics teacher but I bet you'd fit right into the role of an English teacher..."

"Thanks, princess," Harry chuckles, letting go of Harry only when the world stabilises once again. There's a genuine beam on his face and Ben can't help wishing he'd learned how to develop a photographic memory so he could keep that image in his mind forever and- woah, what?

"Do you like pancakes?" Ben asks, the question jumping from his mouth in a desperate attempt to shift his focus from the way he can't stop thinking about Harry to something, anything else.

"No."

"No?" Ben echoes, now completely confused.

Harry laughs. "No, because we don't have them here and, as a pirate, you have to dislike everything you don't know about if you want to stay alive long enough to find out more."

That can't be a happy way of living, Ben thinks as he bites his lip, then stops himself from doing so because he remembers his parents telling him not to ruin his facial features, and then bites it again because they're not here and nobody needs to take a photo of him right now anyway.

"Are you hungry?" Harry asks after a moment.

Ben blinks. "What?"

He's met with a yet another perfectly arched eyebrow. "You asked about pancakes before attempting to eat your lips. Classic signs of hunger."

"Remind me never to learn psychology from you either," Ben laughs, happy to then see a smile on Harry's face too.

"I'd like to see you try and beat me in psychology, princess." Harry's voice is almost a challenge and Ben would be scared had he not been a part of the conversation beforehand.

"Oh, it's a challenge, captain."

Harry's eyebrows furrow in pleasant confusion. "Captain?"

Once again, Ben blushes. He opens his mouth to say something that might make him sound intelligent but then Harry shifts and suddenly his head is perfectly aligned with the sun, its rays creating a golden halo around him, and Ben is so mesmerised that he almost forgets to breathe altogether.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're looking pretty lovestruck, princess."

The colour on his face now darker than a sinking sunset, Ben shrugs, then, against his better judgement, salutes and gives Harry a small smile. "Aye aye, captain."

In a crazy turn of events, Harry goes pink. Ben just admires the way the flush on his cheeks contrasts with the dark grey around his eyes. At least, he admires it until Harry coughs pointedly, at which point Ben wants a nearby cloud to fall, engulf him and save him of the embarrassment that comes from being caught staring, especially when you're caught by the person you were staring at.

"Uh... You have something on your face..." Ben mutters uselessly.

"It's called make-up, princess, get over it." If Ben was standing up, he'd probably be pushed over by the sheer force of defensive attitude in that sentence.

"I can't, Captain, you're too tall for me to do that," he says instead of trying to redeem himself. Luckily, it works and Harry chuckles lightly, the tension in his expression morphing into amusement and what might just be admiration.

After a while, Harry stands up again and looks out to the sea, dutifully doing his job. This gives Ben the opportunity to watch the pirate, to watch the way he taps rhythms with his feet and fingers, to watch the way his hair gently ripples with the breeze, and to watch the way he manages to effortlessly be the single most enchanting person to ever exist. Ben gets lost in the sight of Harry and he's sure that, if things had been different and he wasn't alternating between being intimidated and being in awe, he would have let Harry be his captain without a second thought.

Ben coughs as his eyes fly open, his chest screaming at him and his throat telling his chest to shut up so it can complain about its own pain.

"Rise and shine, princess," Harry says immediately, almost as if he'd been waiting for Ben to wake up.

"What happened?"

"I'm not a doctor, I don't know," Harry answers. If Ben didn't know better, he might think that was a dismissive comment instead of a secretly concerned one.

"Uma said something about answers..." he stars nervously.

Harry sighs. "Breakfast always comes before questions. I hope you still like bread."

He does. He really does. He likes the person serving the bread even more but he doesn't know why so he says nothing, telling his stomach to accept the bread despite his usual, stricter diet.

Harry eats nothing, he notices, but drinks what smells like candy and looks like seawater.

"Is your Highness done?"

"It's your Majesty actually," Ben corrects before he can stop himself. He doesn't know why he feels brave enough to do something like that but he swallows the fear in his throat.

"You what?"

"Uh, the king is usually referred to as 'His Majesty' and the, um, the title of 'Your Highness' is for princes and-"

"Alright, I've heard enough, you donkey," Harry mutters darkly, but not unkindly.

Ben frowns but lets it go since Harry has a look on his face, one that he associates with students in a classroom, and he doesn't want to see that genuine expression fade, especially not because of him.

"Harry!" Uma yells, which is all the warning they get before she's bursting into the room with a glare on her face.

"Yes, Captain?" Harry asks with his posture instantly more alert, his soft expression replaced by stiff respect.

"Have you learned anything yet?" She demands, pulling him outside even as she does.

Ben doesn't know what happens next but when Harry comes back in, there's a growing bruise on his arm and a dark grimace on his face.

"I'm sorry," Ben says.

Harry glowers at him, his gaze so much more intimidating than anything he's seen more, even deadlier than Uma's crazed grin.

"Don't stick your nose where your brain can't follow, princess."

Ben's mouth stops open in shock. He feels lost, like he's only just realised he's not at home, he's in a different land where there are different norms and different rules and different people.

Deciding not to apologise in fear of angering Harry, Ben nods and jumps to his feet, following the other boy as they make their way through the crew. Said crew smirks at him when he walks past, occasionally muttering something under their breath, but Harry ignores them so Ben tries to do the same.

"Gil, stop scoffing your food and take our royal idiot to the brig, would you?"

Gil glances up at Harry and frowns, his gaze landing on Ben's probably terrified expression. "What'd you do to him in one night?"

Harry just clicks his tongue and walks away, leaving Ben in the company of Gil, who seems to be okay with the ambiguity and just drags Ben back down the stairs and into the little prison.

Just as he's about to leave, Gil turns around with a conflicted look on his face. "Did he hurt you yet?"

Biting his tongue to stop his inner grammar police, Ben shakes his head.

"Did you hurt him yet?"

Again, he shakes his head. Gil nods in satisfaction and turns on his heel, leaving Ben to stare at the wood and its cracks for who knows how long, barely noticing when the sunlight intensifies before fading into a gentle darkness once more.

He's just about fallen asleep when Harry is back, opening the lock and pulling him back to his room once more. The grip on Ben's arm is strong - bordering on painful - until Harry closes the door behind them and lets go as if the contact had physically burned him.

Ben slides to the floor because he doesn't know what to do, he's not trained for something like this, he's never felt more useless.

"I once stepped on my crown," Ben says after a while, trying to fill the silence.

Harry looks at him from where he's lying on the hammock and raises an eyebrow.

"I almost broke it, too, but it was protected with magic so it just blew me backwards and I broke my wrist."

Harry whistles, then sitting up and leaning against the wall. "I fell out of the crow's nest."

"Why were you in a crow's nest?" Ben asks, trying to figure out what kind of crow this must have been to fit a human inside its nest.

Harry just bursts out laughing, almost falling out of the hammock. "The ignorance of royalty. I'm referring to the lookout's station on our ship."

The blood rushes to Ben's face like a moth to a flame and he shuts his eyes for a moment as if blocking his senses can turn back time.

"Were you okay?" Ben asks, his stomach twisting with embarrassment.

Harry grins. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"That doesn't mean you were okay," Ben replies quietly, unsure of where his concern is coming from. The confusion on Harry's face tells him he's just as bewildered.

"There was nobody there, actually, so I was fine."

To Ben, that's the exact opposite of fine. He doesn't verbalise the thought, though, still picturing the dark look Harry had thrown his way earlier.

"Right."

Harry shrugs. "What, you don't like heights?"

"I don't know, I've never been to a height."

"Never?" The shock in Harry's voice is virtually palpable so Ben looks away from his alluring eyes, trying to pull himself together.

"I, uh, no. It's too dangerous..."

"So am I and yet, here you are."

"But it's not like I chose to be here!" Ben argues, then wishes he could take it back.

The expression on Harry's face is one Ben won't ever forget, the combination of surprise, admiration, rejection, disappointment and rage burned into his mind and filed under things he wishes he could prevent from occurring. After a pregnant pause, the pirate gives him a subtle nod, then turns around, lying down and facing the wall, effectively ending their conversation.

Ben stares at his back, remorse filling his veins and regret weighing down his heart. It's too late to go back and not say anything so he just curls up as best as he can and shuts his eyes, hoping he can get to sleep and try to brush off the guilt squirming inside his soul.

"Goodnight," he whispers even though it's really not.