#knowingitall

Apparently in our lifetime, once or twice to say the least, we stumble upon the inevitable life crisis - and it doesn’t even necessarily happen in our late 20's or early 40's, sometimes it happens even when we are casually sipping our coffee in the morning. That time which makes us evaluate ourselves on a much deeper level, perhaps hoping we could discover more of what and who we really are.

You see, it’s like setting up an alarm from the night before, knowing that we will just snooze it in the morning, or a sort of fortuitous event we knew would happen but don’t necessarily know what to do when it does. One day it’ll just hit us in our most vulnerable state, defenseless, eventually leaving us to face it head on. It’ll slap us in our faces and wake us up from the ethereal bubble of idealism, a notion of reality-like life we so seemingly engrossed ourselves in, taken into account this massive takeover of social media into our lives which displays a rather unrealistic perception of living vigorously.

Being raised in a household with broken relationships, having experienced a loss of a loved one, witnessing an apparent chaos caused then and there from a toxic relative, are just one of those events that contribute a direct impact in our lives one day. And even those with tight family ties, those that seemed too good on the outside, has its own downfall. Your slightest lapse in judgement will already disqualify you from being their brightest child. And yes, even with friends that don’t necessarily benefit you, friends who feed you anything but negativity, and even being detrimental in some ways. You can’t help but identify yourself with the likes of them.

And now you fell into the pit of utter melancholia, a deep well of sadness that is your thoughts. You’ll get so emotionally distressed with those unpleasant memories and insubstantial experiences hardwired in you. Anxious and confused, you asked yourself, who are you really? Are you your family? Your friends? Your failures? Your thoughts? Your choices?

Maybe. Maybe you are any of them. The thing is, we can be someone who we surround ourselves with. The matter-of-course from a collective acquisition on what you feed your mind, what kind of environment you reside in, and the average of people you interact with. But you have to keep in mind that people can change. And you are definitely who you identify yourself as.

You see, no one has ever figured out who they are overnight. So, give yourself time. Let yourself explore and settle only when you’ve finally found peace in where you are. The rush, the pressure, the constant need to achieve something at a certain time, forget about them and do you.

After all, no one really ever knows us, they don’t know the silent battles we’ve fought and the metaphorical tunnels we’ve gone through. Truth is, we’re all a little selfish one way or another. Nevertheless, now is the time that you revisit your favorite food, music, book, movie, your proudest moment in life, your most challenging experience that shaped you, that successful individual you look up to, and your goals, because that will most definitely give you a jumpstart on your journey to self discovery. Just always remember that as long as you understand you and you accept you,  that’s all that matters.

And hey. You do have a choice. So choose You.