#kleos guild

Tragically, this campaign has come to an end, the final notes of the song fade out and we rode off into the sunset.  A friend has been running this campaign for almost a year now, possibly a little longer, and the party consisted of Alex (me, half drow sorce-bard), Gixa (white dragonborn paladin), and Bec (Half Orc Druid)

Alex: “I have a backup, SCREW YOU”

Bec: “it’s asbestos, isn’t it” DM: “Hey, she’s doing ‘AsBestOs’ she can”

Alex: “I boop Bec & then I woop woopwoopwoopwoop woop woop away.”

DM: “Seeing that his plan isn’t gonna work on you, he goes after Bec. Does a 3 hit?”

Alex (vicious mockery) “You’re so white, you put raisins in your potato salad.” Bec: “You’re so white, you put bread crumbs in your mac n’ cheese.”

Gixa: “In this campaign alone, we invented surfing, perfect dives, EDM, tap dancing, and heel clicks.”  Alex: “Grand theft boato. Grand theft horso.”

Alex: “Is Alexander a kleptomaniac?” Gixa&Bec: “If you have to ask that, you’re already halfway gone.”

Alexander appears, leaning on Murphy’s shoulder Alex: “You know she’s into you right?” Murphy (NPC) “Oh shoot. I gotta do somethin’. Come back soon okay!?” Gixa: “Sure thing. Also, Alexander, ...” *flips the bird

Alex: “We do all the drugs.” Bec: “I mean yes.”

Gixa: “Remember, [Alex]’s a kleptomaniac, not an arson.” Alex (ooc): “Remember he’s a klepto, not a vandal.”

so for a tiny bit of context, this is our penultimate episode (yes, I’m very sad) we just finished a flashback episode.  The party consists of Alex (me, half drow sorce-bard), Gixa (white dragonborn paladin), and Bec (Half Orc Druid), we are joined by 2 NPCs who we’ve just learned are Alex’s half siblings (Kes and Peregrine)

Alex: “Tippy Tappy Thunderwave”

Kes “I’m still a criminal” Gixa “Hat” (talking about alex’s hat of disguise) Alex “Hat” (removing his hat and placing it on Kes)

Alex “LET’S DO THIS THING” Gixa about Alex and Kes “you are related” Alex “I have no idea where Peregrine comes from”

Bec “Sexually frustrated gorilla”

DM “You have 2 options, do something rad, or pull a lever”

Gixa “you swagger” Alex “I swagger double time”

DM “What do dragonborn do when surrounded” Gixa “Belch”

Alex (OOC): Unison Raid?

Alex: “Caw Caw motherrf*cker”

Bec “I am Mary Wash(ington)”

Bec “I can turn into a fuck off eagle” Alex “a giant fuck off eagle”

Alex “I handle the buffs, she handles the debuffs, together, we’re team screw you”

So for a tiny bit of context, we just had a flashback episode where we remembered our pasts which we had forgotten chunks of after a time travel event went horrifically wrong. The party consists of a half drow sorce-bard (Alex, me) a white dragonborn paladin (Gixa), and a half orc druid (Bec).

Alex: “more like a BEC-story, amirite”

5 seconds later

DM: “way BEC in the timeline”

15 seconds later

Alex...again: “they turn BEC when it gets too dark to see”

Bec: “I’ve got to follow her so if she’s going to be stupid then I’ll be stupid too”

DM: “the timeline’s in a knot”

Alex: “and this time it’s KNOT my fault”

Alex: “I’m sure it found another four armed gorilla woman”

DM: “because this isn’t Indiana Jones, the traps don’t work; who lights the torches in Skyrim dungeons anyways?”

Alex: “which came first, The Tree of Life or The Tree of Life?”

Dm: “I think it was The Tree of Life”

Bec: “I don’t think so”

DM: “oh so you think it was The Tree of Life?”

Bec: “no, I think it was The Tree of Life”

Alex: “I’m not lying through my teeth, I’m lying through my hands”

DM: “because you’ll be working to change the past, you’ll almost certainly cease to exist “

Alex: “eh, screw it, it’s a rental”

Gixa: “does he grab my armor or my tail?”